13760
Кто хочет знать английский как англичанин, тот читает тут рассказы на настоящем королевском английском языке. В оригинале . Реклама @neznayca или по ссылке telega.in/c/one_story
An old artisan who prided himself on his ability to drive a close bargain contracted to paint a huge barn in the neighborhood for the small sum of twelve dollars.
"Why on earth did you agree to do it for so little?" his brother inquired.
"Well," said the old painter, "you see, the owner is a mighty unreliable man. If I'd said I'd charge him twenty-five dollars, likely he'd have only paid me nineteen. And if I charge him twelve dollars, he may not pay me but nine. So I thought it over, and decided to paint it for twelve dollars, so I wouldn't lose so much."
HICKS—"I've got to borrow $200 somewhere."
WICKS—"Take my advice and borrow $300 while you are about it."
"But I only need $200."
"That doesn't make any difference. Borrow $300 and pay back $100 of it in two installments at intervals of a month or so. Then the man that you borrow from will think he is going to get the rest of it."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
A pessimistic young man dining alone in a restaurant ordered broiled live lobster. When the waiter put it on the table it was obviously minus one claw. The pessimistic young man promptly kicked. The waiter said it was unavoidable—there had been a fight in the kitchen between two lobsters. The other one had torn off one of the claws of this lobster and had eaten it. The young man pushed the lobster over toward the waiter. "Take it away," he said wearily, "and bring me the winner."
Читать полностью…
По статистике, 83% родителей никуда не ходят со своим ребёнком.
Большинство современных детей словно брошены на произвол судьбы: целыми днями смотрят тиктоки, а вместо живого общения пользуются соцсетями и интернетом.
Если вы не хотите, чтобы ваш ребёнок вырос закрытым и превратился в цифрового зомби, возьмите на заметку этот канал: «Москва для детей»
Тут находят способы круто провести время с детьми в Москве, от которых ваш малыш будет в восторге: игровые центры, детские кафе и бесплатные развлечения для семей. Пользуйтесь: @detstvo_msk
Узнаёте любимый роман по первой фразе? Научитесь узнавать картину по одному фрагменту!
В приложении 🌸 Art Quiz каждый найдёт что-то для себя!
- Истории-пазлы о жизни художников с уникальным музыкальным сопровождением 🎼
- Нескучные категории: живопись в любимых фильмах🎬, нейросети в искусстве. Для любителей классики есть категории по стилям;
- Баттлы с живыми людьми по всему миру! 🌍
Можно играть с другом и тренироваться в режиме для новичков;
- Ежедневная Картина дня: можно собирать свою коллекцию любимых картин и смотреть коллекции других участников;
- Более 10 000 вопросов с короткими пояснениями. Вопросы с юмором, на смекалку и просто классические. Вы сами не заметите, как начнёте узнавать художников по стилю;
👉 Скачать для iOS:
🌸 Art Quiz в App Store
👉 Скачать для Android:
🌸 Art Quiz в Google Play
An Irishman boasted that he could lick any man in Boston, yes, Massachusetts, and finally he added New England. When he came to, he said: "I tried to cover too much territory."
Читать полностью…
Two of the leading attorneys of Memphis, who had been warm friends for years, happened to be opposing counsel in a case some time ago. The older of the two was a man of magnificent physique, almost six feet four, and built in proportion, while the younger was barely five feet and weighed not more than ninety pounds.
In the course of his argument the big man unwittingly made some remark that aroused the ire of his small adversary. A moment later he felt a great pulling and tugging at his coat tails. Looking down, he was greatly astonished to see his opponent wildly gesticulating and dancing around him.
"What on earth are you trying to do there, Dudley?" he asked.
"By Gawd, suh, I'm fightin', suh!"
FIGHTING
"Who gave ye th' black eye, Jim?"
"Nobody give it t' me; I had t' fight fer it."—Life.
FATHERS
A director of one of the great transcontinental railroads was showing his three-year-old daughter the pictures in a work on natural history. Pointing to a picture of a zebra, he asked the baby to tell him what it represented. Baby answered "Coty."
Pointing to a picture of a tiger in the same way, she answered "Kitty." Then a lion, and she answered "Doggy." Elated with her seeming quick perception, he then turned to the picture of a Chimpanzee and said:
"Baby, what is this?"
"Papa."
So in the Libyan fable it is told
That once an eagle stricken with a dart,
Said, when he saw the fashion of the shaft,
"With our own feathers, not by others' hands,
Are we now smitten."
There had been a dressmaker in the house and Minnie had listened to long discussions about the very latest fashions. That night when she said her prayers, she added a new petition, uttered with unwonted fervency:
"And, dear Lord, please make us all very stylish."
"I am going to make my farewell tour in Shakespeare. What shall be the play? Hamlet? Macbeth?"
"This is your sixth farewell tour, I believe."
"Well, yes."
"I would suggest 'Much Adieu About Nothing'."
FAREWELLS
Happy are we met, Happy have we been,
Happy may we part, and Happy meet again.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
Mrs. O'Flarity is a scrub lady, and she had been absent from her duties for several days. Upon her return her employer asked her the reason for her absence.
"Sure, I've been carin' for wan of me sick children," she replied.
"And how many children have you, Mrs. O'Flarity?" he asked.
"Siven in all," she replied. "Four by the third wife of me second husband; three by the second wife of me furst."
Were not this desire of fame very strong, the difficulty of obtaining it, and the danger of losing it when obtained, would be sufficient to deter a man from so vain a pursuit.
Читать полностью…
To modernize an old prophecy, "out of the mouths of babes shall come much worldly wisdom." Mr. K. has two boys whom he dearly loves. One day he gave each a dollar to spend. After much bargaining, they brought home a wonderful four-wheeled steamboat and a beautiful train of cars.
For awhile the transportation business flourished, and all was well, but one day Craig explained to his father that while business had been good, he could do much better if he only had the capital to buy a train of cars like Joe's. His arguments must have been good, for the money was forthcoming. Soon after, little Toe, with probably less logic but more loving, became possessed of a dollar to buy a steamboat like Craig's. But Mr. K., who had furnished the additional capital, looked in vain for the improved service. The new rolling stock was not in evidence, and explanations were vague and unsatisfactory, as is often the case in the railroad game at which men play. It took a stern court of inquiry to develop the fact that the railroad and steamship had simply changed hands—and at a mutual profit of one hundred per cent. And Mr. K., as he told his neighbor, said it was worth that much to know that his boys would not need much of a legacy from him.
FINANCE
Willie had a savings bank;
'Twas made of painted tin.
He passed it 'round among the boys,
Who put their pennies in.
Then Willie wrecked that bank and bought
Sweetmeats and chewing gum.
And to the other envious lads
He never offered some.
"What will we do?" his mother said:
"It is a sad mischance."
His father said: "We'll cultivate
His gift for high finance."
—Washington Star.
"Do you mean to say such a physical wreck as he gave you that black eye?" asked the magistrate.
"Sure, your honor, he wasn't a physical wreck till after he gave me the black eye," replied the complaining wife.—London Telegraph.
An aged, gray-haired and very wrinkled old woman, arrayed in the outlandish calico costume of the mountains, was summoned as a witness in court to tell what she knew about a fight in her house. She took the witness-stand with evidences of backwardness and proverbial Bourbon verdancy. The Judge asked her in a kindly voice what took place. She insisted it did not amount to much, but the Judge by his persistency finally got her to tell the story of the bloody fracas.
"Now, I tell ye, Jedge, it didn't amount to nuthn'. The fust I knowed about it was when Bill Saunder called Tom Smith a liar, en Tom knocked him down with a stick o' wood. One o' Bill's friends then cut Tom with a knife, slicin' a big chunk out o' him. Then Sam Jones, who was a friend of Tom's, shot the other feller and two more shot him, en three or four others got cut right smart by somebody. That nachly caused some excitement, Jedge, en then they commenced fightin'."
"Dose Irish make me sick, alvays talking about vat gread fighders dey are," said a Teutonic resident of Hoboken, with great contempt. "Vhy, at Minna's vedding der odder night dot drunken Mike O'Hooligan butted in, und me und mein bruder, und mein cousin Fritz und mein frient Louie Hartmann—vhy, we pretty near kicked him oudt of der house!"
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
23 ноября в Île Thélème прозвучит «Лунный Пьеро» Арнольда Шёнберга — шедевр авангарда XX века и произведение, где красота математики становится важнее традиционной мелодичности.
В начале XX века Австрийский композитор и дирижер Арнольд Шёнберг создал такой вид музыкальной композиции, как «Додекафония», в переводе с Греческого — 12 звуков. С его помощью он написал мелодраму «Лунный Пьеро», которая стала ярчайшим представителем атонального стиля музыки XX века.
Необычный для вокального произведения жанр мелодрамы был выбран автором из-за особенности исполнения вокальной партии. Стиль «Sprechgesang» сочетает в себе вокальный распев и речевую интонацию, стирая грань между музыкой и драмой.
Все эти особенности произведения перемещают исполнителя и зрителя на иную территорию театра. Вместо мелодии, тревожащей чувства, выступает геометрия звука, а драматургия становится композицией из форм и образов. «Лунный пьеро» — это не история персонажа, рассказанная посредством музыки, а скорее формула, напоминающая человеку о глубинных принципах устройства его природы, о математике космических законов, частью которых мы являемся.
Вокал: Алиса Корочанцева
Фортепиано: Ксения Кемова
Режиссер: Игорь Витковский
Работа с физическим действием: Иван Котик
Билеты на концерт:
https://bit.ly/3LTGZ2O
"There! You have a black eye, and your nose is bruised, and your coat is torn to bits," said Mamma, as her youngest appeared at the door. "How many times have I told you not to play with that bad Jenkins boy?"
"Now, look here, Mother," said Bobby, "do I look as if we'd been playing?"
FEET
BIG MAN (with a grouch)—"Will you be so kind as to get off my feet?"
LITTLE MAN (with a bundle)—"I'll try, sir. Is it much of a walk?"
⚡Карл Густав Юнг теперь в Telegram!
Мысли одного из самых
цитируемых психологов
Подписаться:
t.me/CarlGustavJung_tg
FATE
Fate hit me very hard one day.
I cried: "What is my fault?
What have I done? What causes, pray,
This unprovoked assault?"
She paused, then said: "Darned if I know;
I really can't explain."
Then just before she turned to go
She whacked me once again!
—La Touche Hancock.
FASHION
There are two kinds of women: The fashionable ones and those who are comfortable.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
A dear old citizen went to the cars the other day to see his daughter off on a journey. Securing her a seat he passed out of the car and went around to the car window to say a last parting word. While he was leaving the car the daughter crossed the aisle to speak to a friend, and at the same time a grim old maid took the seat and moved up to the window.
Unaware of the change the old gentleman hurriedly put his head up to the window and said: "One more kiss, pet."
In another instant the point of a cotton umbrella was thrust from the window, followed by the wrathful injunction: "Scat, you gray-headed wretch!"
A man descended from an excursion train and was wearily making his way to the street-car, followed by his wife and fourteen children, when a policeman touched him on the shoulder and said:
"Come along wid me."
"What for?"
"Blamed if I know; but when ye're locked up I'll go back and find out why that crowd was following ye."
FAMILIES
"Yes, sir, our household represents the United Kingdom of Great Britain," said the proud father of number one to the rector. "I am English, my wife's Irish, the nurse is Scotch and the baby wails."
Many a man thinks he has become famous when he has merely happened to meet an editor who was hard up for material.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы