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Кто хочет знать английский как англичанин, тот читает тут рассказы на настоящем королевском английском языке. В оригинале . Реклама @neznayca или по ссылке telega.in/c/one_story
Считаете себя культурным человеком? А вы знаете:
• Почему нельзя говорить «приятного аппетита» и «будь здоров»?
• Когда можно переходить на «ты»?
• Что делать, если забыл как зовут собеседника?
Забудьте про 10 видов вилок — на канале «Где твои манеры» вам расскажут, всё о том, как вести себя культурно: от праздничного стола и свидания до переписки в Сети.
Подпишись, потому что культурными людьми не рождаются, ими становятся: @etiketmaneri
Есть мнение, что почти все российские банки делают своим друзьям и родственникам «блатные» опции — выдают беспроцентные кредиты, обнуляют все возможные комиссии и подключают им завышенные кэшбэки к банковским картам.
Так вот выяснилось, что по закону такие нулевые тарифы и беспроцентные кредиты банки обязаны предоставлять и остальным клиентам.
Однако на сайтах эти тарифы не размещаются, и чтобы их получить, нужно либо перечитывать регламенты, либо вручную искать служебные ссылки. Так что если вы не "особый" клиент и связей в банках у вас нету — подпишитесь на Беспощадного Банкстера. Там пишут о спецтарифах банков — вечно бесплатные карты, служебные тарифы с повышенным кэшбэком, промо-вклады с доходом в 14% годовых и маркетинговые кредиты под 0%, которые никогда не попадают на витрину.
Подпишитесь всего 1 раз — и до конца жизни сможете законно брать кредиты под 0%, навсегда уберёте с карт все списания и комиссии, поставите себе 10-процентный кэшбэк НА ВСЁ. Вот канал — @bezposhady
A nervous commuter on his dark, lonely way home from the railroad station heard footsteps behind him. He had an uncomfortable feeling that he was being followed. He increased his speed. The footsteps quickened accordingly. The commuter darted down a lane. The footsteps still pursued him. In desperation he vaulted over a fence and, rushing into a churchyard, threw himself panting on one of the graves.
"If he follows me here," he thought fearfully, "there can be no doubt as to his intentions."
The man behind was following. He could hear him scrambling over the fence. Visions of highwaymen, maniacs, garroters and the like flashed through his brain. Quivering with fear, the nervous one arose and faced his pursuer.
"What do you want?" he demanded. "Wh-why are you following me?"
"Say," asked the stranger, mopping his brow, "do you always go home like this? I'm going up to Mr. Brown's and the man at the station told me to follow you, as you lived next door. Excuse my asking you, but is there much more to do before we get there?"
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
"I see you carrying home a new kind of breakfast food," remarked the first commuter.
"Yes," said the second commuter, "I was missing too many trains. The old brand required three seconds to prepare. You can fix this new brand in a second and a half."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
COMMON SENSE
A mysterious building had been erected on the outskirts of a small town. It was shrouded in mystery. All that was known about it was that it was a chemical laboratory. An old farmer, driving past the place after work had been started, and seeing a man in the doorway, called to him:
"What be ye doin' in this place?"
"We are searching for a universal solvent—something that will dissolve all things," said the chemist.
"What good will thet be?"
"Imagine, sir! It will dissolve all things. If we want a solution of iron, glass, gold—anything, all that we have to do is to drop it in this solution."
"Fine," said the farmer, "fine! What be ye goin' to keep it in?"
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
Горько признавать, но согласно опросам, 97% людей не знают, почему площадь назвали Красной
Большинство даже не догадывается, кто и зачем закопал Москву на 18 метров и не знают, что Чистые пруды раньше были помойкой и назывались Погаными
Достаточно узнать пару интересных фактов про столицу — и вы уже будете умнее 90% людей. А поможет с этим — Московская Хроника.
Авторы буквально погрузят читателей в тайны великого города, откроют все секреты любимых мест (от которых кровь стынет в жилах) и устроят прогулку по культовым местам всех времен
Подписывайтесь: /channel/+1At3iNE224I5MWZi
A young Irishman at college in want of twenty-five dollars wrote to his uncle as follows:
"Dear Uncle.—If you could see how I blush for shame while I am writing, you would pity me. Do you know why? Because I have to ask you for a few dollars, and do not know how to express myself. It is impossible for me to tell you. I prefer to die. I send you this by messenger, who will wait for an answer. Believe me, my dearest uncle, your most obedient and affectionate nephew.
"P.S.—Overcome with shame for what I have written, I have been running after the messenger in order to take the letter from him, but I cannot catch him. Heaven grant that something may happen to stop him, or that this letter may get lost."
The uncle was naturally touched, but was equal to the emergency. He replied as follows:
"My Dear Jack—Console yourself and blush no more. Providence has heard your prayers. The messenger lost your letter. Your affectionate uncle."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
"Why did you come to college, anyway? You are not studying," said the Professor.
"Well," said Willie, "I don't know exactly myself. Mother says it is to fit me for the Presidency; Uncle Bill, to sow my wild oats; Sis, to get a chum for her to marry, and Pa, to bankrupt the family."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
STUDE.—"Is it possible to confide a secret to you?"
FRIEND—"Certainly. I will be as silent as the grave."
STUDE—"Well, then, I have a pressing need for two bucks."
FRIEND—"Do not worry. It is as if I had heard nothing."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
Волшебный концертный коллектив AltrO_Duo&Co поздравляет всех ценителей классической музыки с наступающим Новым 2024 Годом и приглашает посетить свой уютный телеграм-канал.
Там мы делимся новостями своих проектов, историями из жизни великих композиторов, приглашаем посетить интереснейшие мероприятия и просто дарим всем чудесное настроение 🤗
Welcome!
/channel/AltrO_Duo_and_Co
Концерт с историей каждый третий вторник месяца в московской библиотеке №6 им. В.В. Вересаева
Тематические выступления и показы
И многое многое интересное!
When Rutherford B. Hayes was a student at college it was his custom to take a walk before breakfast.
One morning two of his student friends went with him. After walking a short distance they met an old man with a long white beard. Thinking that they would have a little fun at the old man's expense, the first one bowed to him very gracefully and said: "Good morning, Father Abraham."
The next one made a low bow and said: "Good morning, Father Isaac."
Young Hayes then made his bow and said: "Good morning Father Jacob."
The old man looked at them a moment and then said: "Young men, I am neither Abraham, Isaac nor Jacob. I am Saul, the son of Kish, and I am out looking for my father's asses, and lo, I have found them."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
Erid:2VtzqwmX7CP
Мало кто знает, что 90% производимого вина — не становится лучше с годами
Ещё меньше людей знают о том, что на бутылке вина указывают не год разлития, а сбора урожая, из которого оно сделано.
Таких фактов — десятки, и чтобы выбрать недорогое, качественное и действительно вкусное вино — их лучше бы знать. Кстати, сегодня для этого необязательно становиться сомелье.
В канале «Simple Wine News» собраны все факты, советы и истории про благородный напиток. Достаточно подписаться на канал и уже в следующий раз — выбирать лучшее.
Наверное, это лучшая находка перед Новым годом: t.me/simple_wine_news
Реклама. ООО КОМПАНИЯ «СИМПЛ», ИНН 7711078582
Christmas at Fezziwig's Warehouse
by Charles Dickens
Mr. Fezziwig is a character in Dickens' A Christmas Carol, in which he and his wife convert their place of business to a raucous Christmas Eve ball! For young children's benefit, a charming vignette (or rather, pirouette?).
"Yo Ho! my boys," said Fezziwig. "No more work to-night! Christmas Eve, Dick! Christmas, Ebenezer! Let's have the shutters up!" cried old Fezziwig with a sharp clap of his hands, "before a man can say Jack Robinson. . . ."
"Hilli-ho!" cried old Fezziwig, skipping down from the high desk with wonderful agility. "Clear away, my lads, and let's have lots of room here! Hilli-ho, Dick! Cheer-up, Ebenezer!"
Clear away! There was nothing they wouldn't have cleared away, or couldn't have cleared away with old Fezziwig looking on. It was done in a minute. Every movable was packed off, as if it were dismissed from public life forevermore; the floor was swept and watered, the lamps were trimmed, fuel was heaped upon the fire; and the warehouse was as snug, and warm, and dry, and bright a ballroom as you would desire to see on a winter's night.
In came a fiddler with a music book, and went up to the lofty desk and made an orchestra of it and tuned like fifty stomach-aches. In came Mrs. Fezziwig, one vast substantial smile. In came the three Misses Fezziwig, beaming and lovable. In came the six followers whose hearts they broke. In came all the young men and women employed in the business. In came the housemaid with her cousin the baker. In came the cook with her brother's particular friend the milkman. In came the boy from over the way, who was suspected of not having board enough from his master, trying to hide himself behind the girl from next door but one who was proved to have had her ears pulled by her mistress; in they all came, anyhow and everyhow. Away they all went, twenty couple at once; hands half round and back again the other way; down the middle and up again; round and round in various stages of affectionate grouping, old top couple always turning up in the wrong place; new top couple starting off again, as soon as they got there; all top couples at last, and not a bottom one to help them.
When this result was brought about the fiddler struck up "Sir Roger de Coverley." Then old Fezziwig stood out to dance with Mrs. Fezziwig. Top couple, too, with a good stiff piece of work cut out for them; three or four and twenty pairs of partners; people who were not to be trifled with; people who would dance and had no notion of walking.
But if they had been thrice as many--oh, four times as many--old Fezziwig would have been a match for them, and so would Mrs. Fezziwig. As to her, she was worthy to be his partner in every sense of the term. If that's not high praise, tell me higher and I'll use it. A positive light appeared to issue from Fezziwig's calves. They shone in every part of the dance like moons. You couldn't have predicted at any given time what would become of them next. And when old Fezziwig and Mrs. Fezziwig had gone all through the dance, advance and retire; both hands to your partner, bow and courtesy, corkscrew, thread the needle, and back again to your place; Fezziwig "cut"--cut so deftly that he appeared to wink with his legs, and came upon his feet again with a stagger.
When the clock struck eleven the domestic ball broke up. Mr. and Mrs. Fezziwig took their stations, one on either side of the door, and shaking hands with every person individually, as he or she went out, wished him or her a Merry Christmas!
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
WANTED: Burly beauty-proof individual to read meters in sorority houses. We haven't made a nickel in two years. The Gas Co.—Michigan Gargoyle.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
COLLEGE GRADUATES
"Can't I take your order for one of our encyclopedias!" asked the dapper agent.
"No I guess not," said the busy man. "I might be able to use it a few times, but my son will be home from college in June."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
The Rev. Dr. William Emerson, of Boston, son of Ralph Waldo Emerson, recently made a trip through the South, and one Sunday attended a meeting in a colored church. The preacher was a white man, however, a white man whose first name was George, and evidently a prime favorite with the colored brethren. When the service was over Dr. Emerson walked home behind two members of the congregation, and overheard this conversation: "Massa George am a mos' pow'ful preacher." "He am dat." "He's mos's pow'ful as Abraham Lincoln." "Huh! He's mo' pow'ful dan Lincoln." "He's mos' 's pow'ful as George Washin'ton." "Huh! He's mo' pow'ful dan Washin'ton." "Massa George ain't quite as pow'ful as God." "N-n-o, not quite. But he's a young man yet."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
COMPARISONS
A milliner endeavored to sell to a colored woman one of the last season's hats at a very moderate price. It was a big white picture-hat.
"Law, no, honey!" exclaimed the woman. "I could nevah wear that. I'd look jes' like a blueberry in a pan of milk."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
A suburban train was slowly working its way through one of the blizzards of 1894. Finally it came to a dead stop and all efforts to start it again were futile.
In the wee, small hours of the morning a weary commuter, numb from the cold and the cramped position in which he had tried to sleep, crawled out of the train and floundered through the heavy snow-drifts to the nearest telegraph station. This is the message he handed to the operator:
"Will not be at office to-day. Not home yesterday yet."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
COMMUTERS
BRIGGS—"Is it true that you have broken off your engagement to that girl who lives in the suburbs?"
GRIGGS—"Yes; they raised the commutation rates on me and I have transferred to a town girl."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
The president of the university had dark circles under his eyes. His cheek was pallid; his lips were trembling; he wore a hunted expression.
"You look ill," said his wife. "What is wrong, dear?"
"Nothing much," he replied. "But—I—I had a fearful dream last night, and I feel this morning as if I—as if I—" It was evident that his nervous system was shattered.
"What was the dream?" asked his wife.
"I—I—dreamed the trustees required that—that I should—that I should pass the freshman examination for—admission!" sighed the president.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
It was Commencement Day at a well-known woman's college, and the father of one of the young women came to attend the graduation exercises. He was presented to the president, who said, "I congratulate you, sir, upon your extremely large and affectionate family."
"Large and affectionate?" he stammered and looking very much surprised.
"Yes, indeed," said the president. "No less than twelve of your daughter's brothers have called frequently during the winter to take her driving and sleighing, while your eldest son escorted her to the theater at least twice a week. Unusually nice brothers they are."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
🌟 Встречайте! Канал "Мы, наш дом и реальность"!
🧠Это канал, где обсуждается повседневная жизнь через призму человеческой природы и психологии.
🧐 Что вас ждёт в нашем канале?
🔍 Ключевые темы: Наука и прогресс, культура и общество, литература и кинематограф. И все то, что формирует нас и нашу реальность!
🤝 Автор канала стремится к созданию конструктивной и информативной среды, исключая дезинформацию и негативные эмоциональные выбросы.
🌍 Главная цель и миссия канала – собрать и объединить в одном месте прогрессивных и здоровых людей, которые стремятся понять себя, других людей и этот мир.
🙂 Человек есть мера всех вещей — /channel/We_our_home_and_reality
⚡Сегодня в России официально заработала программа по развитию внутреннего туризма
В рамках неё цены на авиа и
ж/д билеты будут снижены на 70%, а проживание в государственных отелях и санаториях будет полностью бесплатным.
🇷🇺 Чтобы воспользоваться программой, вступите в канал Турне по Родине – здесь делятся способами путешествовать по России практически бесплатно:
🔸Санаторий у Байкала, где можно неделю жить бесплатно (открыть)
🔸Как купить билет на РЖД за 99 рублей (любое направление)
🔸Бесплатные экскурсии по 132 городам России (выбрать свой город)
🔸Тур в Сочи, отель 4*, вид на горы и тёплый бассейн – 12.000р на всю семью
Подпишитесь и откройте Россию с новой стороны - @russia_voyage
The president of an eastern university had just announced in chapel that the freshman class was the largest enrolled in the history of the institution. Immediately he followed the announcement by reading the text for the morning: "Lord, how are they increased that trouble me!"
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
A western college boy amused himself by writing stories and giving them to papers for nothing. His father objected and wrote to the boy that he was wasting his time. In answer the college lad wrote:
"So, dad, you think I am wasting my time in writing for the local papers and cite Johnson's saying that the man who writes, except for money, is a fool. I shall act upon Doctor Johnson's suggestion and write for money. Send me fifty dollars."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
STUDE—"Do you smoke, professor?"
PROF.—"Why, yes, I'm very fond of a good cigar."
STUDE—"Do you drink, sir?"
PROF.—"Yes, indeed, I enjoy nothing better than a bottle of wine."
STUDE—"Gee, it's going to cost me something to pass this course."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
A Letter from Santa Claus
by Mark Twain
Mark Twain wrote this letter to his 3 year old daughter from Santa Claus in 1875. You could say he was over the moon for her.
Palace of Saint Nicholas in the Moon Christmas Morning
My Dear Susy Clemens,
I have received and read all the letters which you and your little sister have written me . . . . I can read your and your baby sister's jagged and fantastic marks without any trouble at all. But I had trouble with those letters which you dictated through your mother and the nurses, for I am a foreigner and cannot read English writing well. You will find that I made no mistakes about the things which you and the baby ordered in your own letters--I went down your chimney at midnight when you were asleep and delivered them all myself--and kissed both of you, too . . . . But . . . there were . . . one or two small orders which I could not fill because we ran out of stock . . . .
There was a word or two in your mama's letter which . . . I took to be "a trunk full of doll's clothes." Is that it? I will call at your kitchen door about nine o'clock this morning to inquire. But I must not see anybody and I must not speak to anybody but you. When the kitchen doorbell rings, George must be blindfolded and sent to the door. You must tell George he must walk on tiptoe and not speak-- otherwise he will die someday. Then you must go up to the nursery and stand on a chair or the nurse's bed and put your ear to the speaking tube that leads down to the kitchen and when I whistle through it you must speak in the tube and say, "Welcome, Santa Claus!" Then I will ask whether it was a trunk you ordered or not. If you say it was, I shall ask you what color you want the trunk to be . . . and then you must tell me every single thing in detail which you want the trunk to contain. Then when I say "Good-by and a merry Christmas to my little Susy Clemens," you must say "Good-by, good old Santa Claus, I thank you very much." Then you must go down into the library and make George close all the doors that open into the main hall, and everybody must keep still for a little while. I will go to the moon and get those things and in a few minutes I will come down the chimney that belongs to the fireplace that is in the hall--if it is a trunk you want--because I couldn't get such a thing as a trunk down the nursery chimney, you know . . . .If I should leave any snow in the hall, you must tell George to sweep it into the fireplace, for I haven't time to do such things. George must not use a broom, but a rag--else he will die someday . . . . If my boot should leave a stain on the marble, George must not holystone it away. Leave it there always in memory of my visit; and whenever you look at it or show it to anybody you must let it remind you to be a good little girl. Whenever you are naughty and someone points to that mark which your good old Santa Claus's boot made on the marble, what will you say, little sweetheart?
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
Ошибка жителей Москвы и Питера №1: тратить деньги в центре. Люди не знают, что в паре станций метро есть заведения и развлечения в 4-5 раз дешевле.
Такие места даже искать не надо — всё уже собрали в двух лучших каналах про столицы.
🌇 Эй, Москва!
🌃 Эй, Питер!
Здесь находят антуражные заведения, мероприятия которые можно посетить бесплатно и места для прогулок, о которых не знают туристы.
В общем, это ваши карманные путеводители которые помогут вам круто отдохнуть в столицах за копейки, подписывайтесь:
🌇 Эй, Москва!
🌃 Эй, Питер!
COLLEGE STUDENTS
"Say, dad, remember that story you told me about when you were expelled from college?"
"Yes."
"Well, I was just thinking, dad, how true it is that history repeats itself."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
ChatGPT-5 теперь в телеграм!
В сеть попала новая версия нейросети. Это нечто: она работает в 640 раз лучше ChatGPT-4 и её невозможно отличить от человека.
Попробовать новую нейронку можно тут: ChatGPT-5.