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Кто хочет знать английский как англичанин, тот читает тут рассказы на настоящем королевском английском языке. В оригинале . Реклама @neznayca или по ссылке telega.in/c/one_story
Скучал, пьянствовал, ел шоколад.
Пётр Чайковский
5 февраля, 1889 г.
Был целый день невоздержан: жрал рахат-лукум, мороженое и всякую дрянь.
Лев Толстой
16 июня, 1852 г.
Свободы хочется и денег. Сидеть бы на палубе, трескать вино и беседовать о литературе, а вечером дамы.
Антон Чехов
28 июля, 1893 г.
📖 Дневниками и мыслями известных личностей теперь можно наслаждаться в одном месте.
Канал "Жизнь в дневниках" – это собрание лучших мыслей и дневниковых записей великих писателей, художников, режиссёров и композиторов.
Подписывайтесь, чтобы восхищаться интересными личностями:
t.me/dnevnikitg
📽 Федерико Феллини, Ингмар Бергман, Джим Джармуш, Стэнли Кубрик.
Работами культовых режиссеров теперь можно наслаждаться в одном месте.
На канале "Art Cinema" публикуют авторское кино разных эпох, от европейского артхауса 20-х до андеграунда последних лет.
Подписывайтесь, чтобы не тратить время на посредственное кино:
t.me/Art_Cinema
George Bernard Shaw was recently entertained at a house party. While the other guests were dancing, one of the onlookers called Mr. Shaw's attention to the awkward dancing of a German professor.
"Really horrid dancing, isn't it, Mr. Shaw?"
G.B.S. was not at a loss for the true Shavian response. "Oh that's not dancing" he answered. "That's the New Ethical Movement!"
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
DANCING
He was a remarkably stout gentleman, excessively fond of dancing, so his friends asked him why he had stopped, and was it final?
"Oh, no, I hope not," sighed the old fellow. "I still love it, and I've merely stopped until I can find a concave lady for a partner."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
Up in Minnesota Mr. Olsen had a cow killed by a railroad train. In due season the claim agent for the railroad called.
"We understand, of course, that the deceased was a very docile and valuable animal," said the claim agent in his most persuasive claim-agentlemanly manner "and we sympathize with you and your family in your loss. But, Mr. Olsen, you must remember this: Your cow had no business being upon our tracks. Those tracks are our private property and when she invaded them, she became a trespasser. Technically speaking, you, as her owner, became a trespasser also. But we have no desire to carry the issue into court and possibly give you trouble. Now then, what would you regard as a fair settlement between you and the railroad company?"
"Vail," said Mr. Olsen slowly, "Ay bane poor Swede farmer, but Ay shall give you two dollars."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
DAMAGES
A Chicago lawyer tells of a visit he received from a Mrs. Delehanty, accompanied by Mr. Delehanty, the day after Mrs. Delehanty and a Mrs. Cassidy had indulged in a little difference of opinion.
When he had listened to the recital of Mrs. Delehanty's troubles, the lawyer said:
"You want to get damages, I suppose?"
"Damages! Damages!" came in shrill tones from Mrs. Delehanty. "Haven't I got damages enough already, man? What I'm after is satisfaction."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
A one-armed man entered a restaurant at noon and seated himself next to a dapper little other-people's-business man. The latter at once noticed his neighbor's left sleeve hanging loose and kept eying it in a how-did-it-happen sort of a way. The one-armed man paid no attention to him but kept on eating with his one hand. Finally the inquisitive one could stand it no longer. He changed his position a little, cleared his throat, and said: "I beg pardon, sir, but I see you have lost an arm."
The one-armed man picked up his sleeve with his right hand and peered anxiously into it. "Bless my soul!" he exclaimed, looking up with great surprise. "I do believe you're right."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
CURFEW
A former resident of Marshall, Mo., was asking about the old town.
"I understand they have a curfew law out there now," he said.
"No," his informant answered, "they did have one, but they abandoned it."
"What was the matter?"
"Well, the bell rang at 9 o'clock, and almost everyone complained that it woke them up."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
Свободы хочется и денег. Сидеть бы на палубе, трескать вино и беседовать о литературе, а вечером дамы.
Антон Чехов
28 июля, 1893 г.
Ужасное состояние: все больше влюбляюсь в свою жену. Так обидно — 10 лет открещивался от своего...
Михаил Булгаков
3 января, 1925 г.
Ужин. Пьянство. Лезгинка.
Пётр Чайковский
28 апреля, 1886 г.
📖 Дневниками и мыслями известных личностей теперь можно наслаждаться в одном месте.
Канал "Жизнь в дневниках" – это собрание лучших мыслей и дневниковых записей великих писателей, художников, режиссёров и композиторов.
Подписывайтесь, чтобы восхищаться интересными личностями:
t.me/dnevnikitg
/channel/shkolamishleniA - головоломки с необычными сюжетами, интересные исторические экскурсы, любопытные примеры из повседневной жизни.
Читать полностью…
9️⃣ лет в телеграм. Да я динозавр 🦕 просто)
А вы уже определили свой возраст в Телеграм?
/channel/dogshouse_bot/join?startapp=TNmRF_cPR-OT_vcW4lhaOw
Johnny hasn't been to school long, but he already holds some peculiar views regarding the administration of his particular room.
The other day he came home with a singularly morose look on his usually smiling face.
"Why, Johnny," said his mother, "what's the matter?"
"I ain't going to that old school no more," he fiercely announced.
"Why, Johnny," said his mother reproachfully, "you mustn't talk like that. What's wrong with the school?"
"I ain't goin' there no more," Johnny replied; "an" it's because all th' boys in my room is blamed old cowards!"
"Why, Johnny, Johnny!"
"Yes, they are. There was a boy whisperin' this mornin', an' teacher saw him an' bumped his head on th' desk ever an' ever so many times. An' those big cowards sat there an' didn't say quit nor nothin'. They let that old teacher bang th' head off th' poor little boy, an' they just sat there an' seen her do it!"
"And what did you do, Johnny?"
"I didn't do nothin'—I was the boy!"—Cleveland Plain Dealer.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
MRS. PECK—"Henry, what would you do if burglars broke into our house some night?"
MR. PECK (valiantly)—"Humph! I should keep perfectly cool, my dear."
And when, a few nights later, burglars did break in, Henry kept his promise: he hid in the ice-box.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
Here's to solitaire with a partner,
The only game in which one pair beats three of a kind.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
Есть такие картины, которые нельзя размещать в публичных каналах.
Ну, вы понимаете, о чём я.
Но есть закрытый канал, где у искусства нет границ.
А кроме этого, там нет рекламы. Ну надоело, правда?
И когда я дал задание редакторам вести ещё один канал, они взбунтовались и заявили, что бесплатно этого делать не будут. Или все уволятся.
Согласен, сказал я, всякая работа должна быть оплачена, тут вы правы. Но сколько по вашему должна стоить подписка на канал?
Кто-то сказал — 300 рублей, другой — 500 и даже прозвучала ТЫЩЯ!
Ну уж нет! — стукнул я кулаком по столу. Искусство должно быть свободным, но и вам, конечно, нужно как-то жить. Давайте так: 90 рублей для первой сотни, а там видно будет. Может и до тысячи поднимется.
И все согласились. Люблю их 💘
Кстати, платежи проходят официально через Telegram — это анонимно и безопасно.
Ну что, Добро Пожаловать в ряды "БОГЕМЫ"!
Вот как стать БОГЕМОЙ:
1. Нажмите на ссылку — /channel/tribute/app?startapp=s1pf
2. В диалоге выберите оплату картой или кошельком с криптой и там оплачивайте всего 1 евро в валюте вашей карты или кошелька. И наслаждайтесь.
Не медлите — жмите по ссылке, пока вход открыт: /channel/tribute/app?startapp=s1pf
DEBTS
A train traveling through the West was held up by masked bandits. Two friends, who were on their way to California, were among the passengers.
"Here's where we lose all our money," one said, as a robber entered the car.
"You don't think they'll take everything, do you?" the other asked nervously.
"Certainly," the first replied. "These fellows never miss anything."
"That will be terrible," the second friend said. "Are you quite sure they won't leave us any money?" he persisted.
"Of course," was the reply. "Why do you ask?"
The other was silent for a minute. Then, taking a fifty-dollar note from his pocket, he handed it to his friend.
"What is this for?" the first asked, taking the money.
"That's the fifty dollars I owe you," the other answered. "Now we're square."—W. Dayton Wegefarth.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
On a journey through the South not long ago, Wu Ting Fang was impressed by the preponderance of negro labor in one of the cities he visited. Wherever the entertainment committee led him, whether to factory, store or suburban plantation, all the hard work seemed to be borne by the black men.
Minister Wu made no comment at the time, but in the evening when he was a spectator at a ball given in his honor, after watching the waltzing and two-stepping for half an hour, he remarked to his host:
"Why don't you make the negroes do that for you, too?"
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
9️⃣ лет в телеграм. Да я динозавр 🦕 просто)
А вы уже определили свой возраст в Телеграм?
/channel/dogshouse_bot/join?startapp=TNmRF_cPR-OT_vcW4lhaOw
🖐 Привет, ценитель искусства!
Как будет минутка, загляни на канал “Русский Реализм”. Тут каждая кисть, каждая линия, каждый мазок оживают 🎨
🖌 От классических мастеров до современных художников России. Мы расскажем о техниках, стилях и творческих подходах.
Заходите и подписывайтесь на наш канал, чтобы наслаждаться вдохновением и красотой русского искусства! 🎨
“Русский Реализм” – тут Искусство Оживает! /channel/+sJrILLV3q2xjNzhi
A Chicago man who was a passenger on a train that met with an accident not far from that city tells of a curious incident that he witnessed in the car wherein he was sitting.
Just ahead of him were a man and his wife. Suddenly the train was derailed, and went bumping down a steep hill. The man evinced signs of the greatest terror; and when the car came to a stop he carefully examined himself to learn whether he had received any injury. After ascertaining that he was unhurt, he thought of his wife and damages.
"Are you hurt, dear?" he asked.
"No, thank Heaven!" was the grateful response.
"Look here, then," continued hubby, "I'll tell you what we'll do. You let me black your eye, and we'll soak the company good for damages! It won't hurt you much. I'll give you just one good punch." —Howard Morse.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
DACHSHUNDS
A little boy was entertaining the minister the other day until his mother could complete her toilet. The minister, to make congenial conversation, inquired: "Have you a dog?"
"Yes, sir; a dachshund," responded the lad.
"Where is he?" questioned the dominic, knowing the way to a boy's heart.
"Father sends him away for the winter. He says it takes him so long to go in and out of the door he cools the whole house off."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
CURIOSITY
The Christmas church services were proceeding very successfully when a woman in the gallery got so interested that she leaned out too far and fell over the railing. Her dress caught in a chandelier, and she was suspended in mid-air. The minister noticed her undignified position and thundered at the congregation:
"Any person in this congregation who turns around will be struck stone-blind."
A man, whose curiosity was getting the better of him, but who dreaded the clergyman's warning, finally turned to his companion and said:
"I'm going to risk one eye."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
CUCUMBERS
Consider the ways of the little green cucumber, which never does its best fighting till it's down.—Stanford Chaparral.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
CRITICISM
FIRST MUSIC CRITIC—"I wasted a whole evening by going to that new pianist's concert last night!"
SECOND MUSIC CRITIC—"Why?"
FIRST MUSIC CRITIC—"His playing was above criticism!"
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
COWS
Little Willie, being a city boy, had never seen a cow. While on a visit to his grandmother he walked out across the fields with his cousin John. A cow was grazing there, and Willie's curiosity was greatly excited.
"Oh, Cousin John, what is that?" he asked.
"Why, that is only a cow," John replied.
"And what are those things on her head?"
"Horns," answered John.
Before they had gone far the cow mooed long and loud.
Willie was astounded. Looking back, he demanded, in a very fever of interest:
"Which horn did she blow?"
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
A negro came running down the lane as though the Old Boy were after him.
"What are you running for, Mose?" called the colonel from the barn.
"I ain't a-runnin' fo'," shouted back Mose. "I'se a-runnin' from!"
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
⚡️Третьяковская галерея теперь в Telegram!
Покупать билет не нужно:
t.me/Nothing_Book_tg
COWARDS
Mrs. Hicks was telling some ladies about the burglar scare in her house the night before.
"Yes," she said, "I heard a noise and got up, and there, from under the bed, I saw a man's legs sticking out."
"Mercy!" exclaimed a woman. "The burglar's legs?"
"No, my dear; my husband's legs. He heard the noise, too."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
"Jack and I have parted forever."
"Good gracious! What does that mean?"
"Means that I'll get a five-pound box of candy in about an hour."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
Uncle Nehemiah, the proprietor of a ramshackle little hotel in Mobile, was aghast at finding a newly arrived guest with his arm around his daughter's waist.
"Mandy, tell that niggah to take his arm from around yo' wais'," he indignantly commanded.
"Tell him you'self," said Amanda. "He's a puffect stranger to me."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы