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Кто хочет знать английский как англичанин, тот читает тут рассказы на настоящем королевском английском языке. В оригинале . Реклама @neznayca или по ссылке telega.in/c/one_story
A Chicago man who was a passenger on a train that met with an accident not far from that city tells of a curious incident that he witnessed in the car wherein he was sitting.
Just ahead of him were a man and his wife. Suddenly the train was derailed, and went bumping down a steep hill. The man evinced signs of the greatest terror; and when the car came to a stop he carefully examined himself to learn whether he had received any injury. After ascertaining that he was unhurt, he thought of his wife and damages.
"Are you hurt, dear?" he asked.
"No, thank Heaven!" was the grateful response.
"Look here, then," continued hubby, "I'll tell you what we'll do. You let me black your eye, and we'll soak the company good for damages! It won't hurt you much. I'll give you just one good punch." —Howard Morse.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
DACHSHUNDS
A little boy was entertaining the minister the other day until his mother could complete her toilet. The minister, to make congenial conversation, inquired: "Have you a dog?"
"Yes, sir; a dachshund," responded the lad.
"Where is he?" questioned the dominic, knowing the way to a boy's heart.
"Father sends him away for the winter. He says it takes him so long to go in and out of the door he cools the whole house off."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
CURIOSITY
The Christmas church services were proceeding very successfully when a woman in the gallery got so interested that she leaned out too far and fell over the railing. Her dress caught in a chandelier, and she was suspended in mid-air. The minister noticed her undignified position and thundered at the congregation:
"Any person in this congregation who turns around will be struck stone-blind."
A man, whose curiosity was getting the better of him, but who dreaded the clergyman's warning, finally turned to his companion and said:
"I'm going to risk one eye."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
CUCUMBERS
Consider the ways of the little green cucumber, which never does its best fighting till it's down.—Stanford Chaparral.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
CRITICISM
FIRST MUSIC CRITIC—"I wasted a whole evening by going to that new pianist's concert last night!"
SECOND MUSIC CRITIC—"Why?"
FIRST MUSIC CRITIC—"His playing was above criticism!"
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
COWS
Little Willie, being a city boy, had never seen a cow. While on a visit to his grandmother he walked out across the fields with his cousin John. A cow was grazing there, and Willie's curiosity was greatly excited.
"Oh, Cousin John, what is that?" he asked.
"Why, that is only a cow," John replied.
"And what are those things on her head?"
"Horns," answered John.
Before they had gone far the cow mooed long and loud.
Willie was astounded. Looking back, he demanded, in a very fever of interest:
"Which horn did she blow?"
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
A negro came running down the lane as though the Old Boy were after him.
"What are you running for, Mose?" called the colonel from the barn.
"I ain't a-runnin' fo'," shouted back Mose. "I'se a-runnin' from!"
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
⚡️Третьяковская галерея теперь в Telegram!
Покупать билет не нужно:
t.me/Nothing_Book_tg
COWARDS
Mrs. Hicks was telling some ladies about the burglar scare in her house the night before.
"Yes," she said, "I heard a noise and got up, and there, from under the bed, I saw a man's legs sticking out."
"Mercy!" exclaimed a woman. "The burglar's legs?"
"No, my dear; my husband's legs. He heard the noise, too."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
"Jack and I have parted forever."
"Good gracious! What does that mean?"
"Means that I'll get a five-pound box of candy in about an hour."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
Uncle Nehemiah, the proprietor of a ramshackle little hotel in Mobile, was aghast at finding a newly arrived guest with his arm around his daughter's waist.
"Mandy, tell that niggah to take his arm from around yo' wais'," he indignantly commanded.
"Tell him you'self," said Amanda. "He's a puffect stranger to me."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
Совет на 2024 год — вкладывайте в акции. Если бы Вы инвестировали всего 100.000р в акции Совкомфлота, когда компанию считали мертвой, сейчас у Вас было бы больше 3.000.000₽
Аналогично с ДВМП, Белугой и Инарктикой, которые выросли в 10-20-50 раз. Фишка в том, что таких компаний сегодня СОТНИ. А чтобы успешно находить такие акции, читайте канал Искуситель.
Автор находит акции, которые совсем скоро вырастут в 10, 20, а то и 30 раз. Говорит, когда покупать и когда срочно продавать, чтобы заработать максимальную прибыль.
Забирайте список лучших акций, которые принесут более 50% в 2024 году: /channel/+B3H-CwIirV9jYjcy
Больше не нужно искать тематические каналы и по отдельности на них подписываться — мы сделали это за вас 👍
Вам остается только перейти по ссылке, сохранить папку себе и регулярно получать полезные ресурсы и знания из сферы «Литературы»
/channel/addlist/1mPU1otxjxA3MWVi
Хочешь в подборку?
"Казнь стрельцов на Красной Площади, 10 октября 1698 года"
Холст/масло.
Май 2022.
Работа молодого художника. Студента "Российской Академии Живописи Ваяния и Зодчества".
Загляните к нему на канал @NicolasArt. Картины пронизаны самобытностью и смелым творческим поиском.
Инстаграм Николая: instagram.com/art_nicolas_malygin
"I hope your father does not object to my staying so late," said Mr. Stayput as the clock struck twelve.
"Oh, dear, no," replied Miss Dabbs, with difficulty suppressing a yawn, "He says you save him the expense of a night-watchman."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
DAMAGES
A Chicago lawyer tells of a visit he received from a Mrs. Delehanty, accompanied by Mr. Delehanty, the day after Mrs. Delehanty and a Mrs. Cassidy had indulged in a little difference of opinion.
When he had listened to the recital of Mrs. Delehanty's troubles, the lawyer said:
"You want to get damages, I suppose?"
"Damages! Damages!" came in shrill tones from Mrs. Delehanty. "Haven't I got damages enough already, man? What I'm after is satisfaction."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
A one-armed man entered a restaurant at noon and seated himself next to a dapper little other-people's-business man. The latter at once noticed his neighbor's left sleeve hanging loose and kept eying it in a how-did-it-happen sort of a way. The one-armed man paid no attention to him but kept on eating with his one hand. Finally the inquisitive one could stand it no longer. He changed his position a little, cleared his throat, and said: "I beg pardon, sir, but I see you have lost an arm."
The one-armed man picked up his sleeve with his right hand and peered anxiously into it. "Bless my soul!" he exclaimed, looking up with great surprise. "I do believe you're right."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
CURFEW
A former resident of Marshall, Mo., was asking about the old town.
"I understand they have a curfew law out there now," he said.
"No," his informant answered, "they did have one, but they abandoned it."
"What was the matter?"
"Well, the bell rang at 9 o'clock, and almost everyone complained that it woke them up."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
Свободы хочется и денег. Сидеть бы на палубе, трескать вино и беседовать о литературе, а вечером дамы.
Антон Чехов
28 июля, 1893 г.
Ужасное состояние: все больше влюбляюсь в свою жену. Так обидно — 10 лет открещивался от своего...
Михаил Булгаков
3 января, 1925 г.
Ужин. Пьянство. Лезгинка.
Пётр Чайковский
28 апреля, 1886 г.
📖 Дневниками и мыслями известных личностей теперь можно наслаждаться в одном месте.
Канал "Жизнь в дневниках" – это собрание лучших мыслей и дневниковых записей великих писателей, художников, режиссёров и композиторов.
Подписывайтесь, чтобы восхищаться интересными личностями:
t.me/dnevnikitg
/channel/shkolamishleniA - головоломки с необычными сюжетами, интересные исторические экскурсы, любопытные примеры из повседневной жизни.
Читать полностью…
9️⃣ лет в телеграм. Да я динозавр 🦕 просто)
А вы уже определили свой возраст в Телеграм?
/channel/dogshouse_bot/join?startapp=TNmRF_cPR-OT_vcW4lhaOw
Johnny hasn't been to school long, but he already holds some peculiar views regarding the administration of his particular room.
The other day he came home with a singularly morose look on his usually smiling face.
"Why, Johnny," said his mother, "what's the matter?"
"I ain't going to that old school no more," he fiercely announced.
"Why, Johnny," said his mother reproachfully, "you mustn't talk like that. What's wrong with the school?"
"I ain't goin' there no more," Johnny replied; "an" it's because all th' boys in my room is blamed old cowards!"
"Why, Johnny, Johnny!"
"Yes, they are. There was a boy whisperin' this mornin', an' teacher saw him an' bumped his head on th' desk ever an' ever so many times. An' those big cowards sat there an' didn't say quit nor nothin'. They let that old teacher bang th' head off th' poor little boy, an' they just sat there an' seen her do it!"
"And what did you do, Johnny?"
"I didn't do nothin'—I was the boy!"—Cleveland Plain Dealer.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
MRS. PECK—"Henry, what would you do if burglars broke into our house some night?"
MR. PECK (valiantly)—"Humph! I should keep perfectly cool, my dear."
And when, a few nights later, burglars did break in, Henry kept his promise: he hid in the ice-box.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
Here's to solitaire with a partner,
The only game in which one pair beats three of a kind.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
Есть такие картины, которые нельзя размещать в публичных каналах.
Ну, вы понимаете, о чём я.
Но есть закрытый канал, где у искусства нет границ.
А кроме этого, там нет рекламы. Ну надоело, правда?
И когда я дал задание редакторам вести ещё один канал, они взбунтовались и заявили, что бесплатно этого делать не будут. Или все уволятся.
Согласен, сказал я, всякая работа должна быть оплачена, тут вы правы. Но сколько по вашему должна стоить подписка на канал?
Кто-то сказал — 300 рублей, другой — 500 и даже прозвучала ТЫЩЯ!
Ну уж нет! — стукнул я кулаком по столу. Искусство должно быть свободным, но и вам, конечно, нужно как-то жить. Давайте так: 90 рублей для первой сотни, а там видно будет. Может и до тысячи поднимется.
И все согласились. Люблю их 💘
Кстати, платежи проходят официально через Telegram — это анонимно и безопасно.
Ну что, Добро Пожаловать в ряды "БОГЕМЫ"!
Вот как стать БОГЕМОЙ:
1. Нажмите на ссылку — /channel/tribute/app?startapp=s1pf
2. В диалоге выберите оплату картой или кошельком с криптой и там оплачивайте всего 1 евро в валюте вашей карты или кошелька. И наслаждайтесь.
Не медлите — жмите по ссылке, пока вход открыт: /channel/tribute/app?startapp=s1pf
A young woman who was about to wed decided at the last moment to test her sweetheart. So, selecting the prettiest girl she knew, she said to her, though she knew it was a great risk.
"I'll arrange for Jack to take you out tonight—a walk on the beach in the moonlight, a lobster supper and all that sort of thing—and I want you, in order to put his fidelity to the proof, to ask him for a kiss."
The other girl laughed, blushed and assented. The dangerous plot was carried out. Then the next day the girl in love visited the pretty one and said anxiously:
"Well, did you ask him?"
"No, dear."
"No? Why not?"
"I didn't get a chance. He asked me first."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
During a discussion of the fitness of things in general some one asked: "If a young man takes his best girl to the grand opera, spends $8 on a supper after the performance, and then takes her home in a taxicab, should he kiss her goodnight?"
An old bachelor who was present growled: "I don't think she ought to expect it. Seems to me he has done enough for her."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
"What were you and Mr. Smith talking about in the parlor?" asked her mother. "Oh, we were discussing our kith and kin," replied the young lady.
The mother look dubiously at her daughter, whereupon her little brother, wishing to help his sister, said:
"Yeth they wath, Mother. I heard 'em. Mr. Thmith asked her for a kith and she thaid, 'You kin.'"
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
It was scarcely half-past nine when the rather fierce-looking father of the girl entered the parlor where the timid lover was courting her. The father had his watch in his hand.
"Young man," he said brusquely, "do you know what time it is?"
"Y-y-yes sir," stuttered the frightened lover, as he scrambled out into the hall; "I—I was just going to leave!"
After the beau had made a rapid exit, the father turned to the girl and said in astonishment:
"What was the matter with that fellow? My watch has run down, and I simply wanted to know the time."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
There was a young man from the West,
Who loved a young lady with zest;
So hard did he press her
To make her say, "Yes, sir,"
That he broke three cigars in his vest.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы