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Кто хочет знать английский как англичанин, тот читает тут рассказы на настоящем королевском английском языке. В оригинале . Реклама @neznayca или по ссылке telega.in/c/one_story
"So you think the author of this play will live, do you?" remarked the tourist.
"Yes," replied the manager of the Frozen Dog Opera House. "He's got a five-mile start and I don't think the boys kin ketch him."—Life.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
DRAMATISTS
"I hear Scribbler finally got one of his plays on the boards."
"Yes, the property man tore up his manuscript and used it in the snow storm scene."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
Nat Goodwin, the American comedian, when at the Shaftesbury Theatre, London, told of an experience he once had with a juvenile deadhead in a town in America. Standing outside the theater a little time before the performance was due to begin he observed a small boy with an anxious, forlorn look on his face and a weedy-looking pup in his arms.
Goodwin inquired what was the matter, and was told that the boy wished to sell the dog so as to raise the price of a seat in the gallery. The actor suspected at once a dodge to secure a pass on the "sympathy racket," but allowing himself to be taken in he gave the boy a pass. The dog was deposited in a safe place and the boy was able to watch Goodwin as the Gilded Fool from a good seat in the gallery. Next day Goodwin saw the boy again near the theater, so he asked:
"Well, sonny, how did you like the show?"
"I'm glad I didn't sell my dog," was the reply.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
I think I love and reverence all arts equally, only putting my own just above the others.... To me it seems as if when God conceived the world, that was Poetry; He formed it, and that was Sculpture; He colored it, and that was Painting; He peopled it with living beings, and that was the grand, divine, eternal Drama.—Charlotte Cushman.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
LARRY—"I like Professor Whatishisname in Shakespeare. He brings things home to you that you never saw before."
HARRY—"Huh! I've got a laundryman as good as that."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
DRAMA
The average modern play calls in the first act for all our faith, in the second for all our hope, and in the last for all our charity.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
A Lakewood woman was recently reading to her little boy the story of a young lad whose father was taken ill and died, after which he set himself diligently to work to support himself and his mother. When she had finished her story she said:
"Dear Billy, if your papa were to die, would you work to support your dear mamma?"
"Naw!" said Billy unexpectedly.
"But why not?"
"Ain't we got a good house to live in?"
"Yes, dearie, but we can't eat the house, you know."
"Ain't there a lot o' stuff in the pantry?"
"Yes, but that won't last forever."
"It'll last till you git another husband, won't it? You're a pretty good looker, ma!"
Mamma gave up right there.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
❓Бывает, что возникает непростая правовая ситуация по уголовному или гражданскому делу, а вопрос задать некому
Меня зовут Эльдар Сулейманов, я адвокат с 2002 года, два года работал в прокуратуре района помощником прокурора по общему надзору
Здесь вы всегда найдете профессиональную защиту в вашей сложной ситуации и обретете спокойствие и безопасность
❗️Конфиденциально, адвокатская тайна — о вас никто ничего личного не узнает, если вы того захотите
❗️В основном, я занимаюсь уголовными делами, а за 20 лет практики накопился значительный опыт и по другим делам
Пишите свои вопросы, чтобы получить консультацию
✅ Легко получить ответ — @EldarSuleymanov
Все задачи решаемы; если выхода не видно, значит нужно еще поискать.
☑️ Помогу в:
Онлайн консультация;
Очная консультация;
Ознакомление с материалами дела ;
Выезд к следователю, в СИЗО, в суд;
Ведение любого дела ;
⭕️В канале вы можете найти отзывы о моей работе, пожалуйста, заходите, задавайте вопросы и подписывайтесь - /channel/moiadvokat
One would have it that a collie is the most sagacious of dogs, while the other stood up for the setter.
"I once owned a setter," declared the latter, "which was very intelligent. I had him on the street one day, and he acted so queerly about a certain man we met that I asked the man his name, and—"
"Oh, that's an old story!" the collie's advocate broke in sneeringly. "The man's name was Partridge, of course, and because of that the dog came to a set. Ho, ho! Come again!"
"You're mistaken," rejoined the other suavely. "The dog didn't come quite to a set, though almost. As a matter of fact, the man's name was Quayle, and the dog hesitated on account of the spelling!"—P. R. Benson.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
"Do you know that that bulldog of yours killed my wife's little harmless, affectionate poodle?"
"Well, what are you going to do about it?"
"Would you be offended if I was to present him with a nice brass collar?"
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
A family moved from the city to a suburban locality and were told that they should get a watchdog to guard the premises at night. So they bought the largest dog that was for sale in the kennels of a neighboring dog fancier, who was a German. Shortly afterward the house was entered by burglars who made a good haul, while the big dog slept. The man went to the dog fancier and told him about it.
"Veil, vat you need now," said the dog merchant, "is a leedle dog to vake up the big dog."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
DOGS
LADY (to tramp who had been commissioned to find her lost poodle)—"The poor little darling, where did you find him?"
TRAMP—"Oh, a man 'ad 'im, miss, tied to a pole, and was cleaning the windows wiv 'im!"
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
DISTANCES
A regiment of regulars was making a long, dusty march across the rolling prairie land of Montana last summer. It was a hot, blistering day and the men, longing for water and rest, were impatient to reach the next town.
A rancher rode past.
"Say, friend," called out one of the men, "how far is it to the next town?"
"Oh, a matter of two miles or so, I reckon," called back the rancher. Another long hour dragged by, and another rancher was encountered.
"How far to the next town?" the men asked him eagerly.
"Oh, a good two miles."
A weary half-hour longer of marching, and then a third rancher.
"Hey, how far's the next town?"
"Not far," was the encouraging answer. "Only about two miles."
"Well," sighed an optimistic sergeant, "thank God, we're holdin' our own, anyhow!"
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
DISPOSITION
One eastern railroad has a regular form for reporting accidents to animals on its right of way. Recently a track foreman had the killing of a cow to report. In answer to the question, "Disposition of carcass?" he wrote: "Kind and gentle."
There was one man who had a reputation for being even tempered. He was always cross.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
DISCRETION
When you can, use discretion; when you can't, use a club.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️ Третьяковская галерея теперь в Telegram!
Покупать билет не нужно:
t.me/Nothing_Book_tg
Так как я никуда не могу поехать и даже почти не выхожу из дома, то все мои интересы, конечно, перекочевали в виртуальные миры. Который я, кстати, сам себе и придумываю.
Зарылся в нейросети. И вот уже у меня выходит третий клип в ютубе. Посмотрите, когда станет скучно. Лайк и подписка, конечно, а комментарий по желанию:
Киберпанк: youtu.be/655urDmfPTE?si=2GEn327GBQQfzkiQ
Космический Futurism: youtu.be/FGS3de-f_Zk?si=oXLyyty-6g9dl3y1
Стимпанк: youtu.be/fUH4TAoM-rs?si=COfxleuctfZDq-nx
Приятного просмотра!
DRAMATIC CRITICISM
Theodore Dreiser, the novelist, was talking about criticism.
"I like pointed criticism," he said, "criticism such as I heard in the lobby of a theater the other night at the end of the play."
"The critic was an old gentleman. His criticism, which was for his wife's ears alone, consisted of these words:
"'Well, you would come!'"
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
Это лучший формат подготовки к выходу в театр
Наша дружеская рекомендация - проект "Свидание с оперой" музыковеда Екатерины Муковозчик.
У Кати есть авторские лекции в записи по 28 (!) операм.
"Никогда ещё опера не была такой близкой и понятной, не воспринималась так глубоко и полно, как после Катиной лекции"
The young man in the third row of seats looked bored. He wasn't having a good time. He cared nothing for the Shakespearean drama.
"What's the greatest play you ever saw?" the young woman asked, observing his abstraction.
Instantly he brightened.
"Tinker touching a man out between second and third and getting the ball over to Chance in time to nab the runner to first!" he said.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
"I am sending you a thousand kisses," he wrote to his fair young wife who was spending her first month away from him. Two days later he received the following telegram: "Kisses received. Landlord refuses to accept any of them on account." Then he woke up and forwarded a check.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
DOMESTIC FINANCE
"Talk about Napoleon! That fellow Wombat is something of a strategist himself."
"As to how?"
"Got his salary raised six months ago, and his wife hasn't found it out yet."—Washington Herald.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
The more one sees of men the more one likes dogs.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
William J. Stevens, for several years local station agent at Swansea, R. I., was peacefully promenading his platform one morning when a rash dog ventured to snap at one of William's plump legs. Stevens promptly kicked the animal halfway across the tracks, and was immediately confronted by the owner, who demanded an explanation in language more forcible than courteous.
"Why," said Stevens when the other paused for breath, "your dog's mad."
"Mad! Mad! You double-dyed blankety-blank fool, he ain't mad!"
"Oh, ain't he?" cut in Stevens. "Gosh! I should be if any one kicked me like that!"
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
DOGS
FAIR VISITOR—"Why are you giving Fido's teeth such a thorough brushing?"
FOND MISTRESS—"Oh! The poor darling's just bitten some horrid person, and, really, you know, one can't be too careful."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
«Нуу… Типа два голых мужика дерутся. Красиво, наверное…»
Примерно так 95% людей ведут себя, когда ходят по музею или просто смотрят на картины.
Чтобы не чувствовать себя неловко в культурном обществе, подписывайтесь на ARTерию.
Это ваша карманная галерея, только с объяснениями смысла картин. Вы научитесь обсуждать шедевры так, будто писали их сами.
Блесните интеллектом в компании друзей. Подписывайтесь: @arteriart
DIVORCE
"When a woman marries and then divorces her husband inside of a week what would you call it?"
"Taking his name in vain."—Princeton Tiger.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
У каждого района Москвы появился собственный телеграм-канал
Выбирай свой район и будь в курсе всего, что происходит рядом 👇
ЦАО: @CAO24
Патрики: @patriki
Таганский: @taganskiy
Якиманка: @yakimanka
Басманный: @basmanny
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Пресненский: @presnenskiy
Тверской и Арбат: @tverskoi
Мещанский: @meshchanskiy
Замоскворечье: @zamoskvoi
Красносельский: @krasnoselsky
СВАО: @SVAO24
Бибирево: @bibirevo
Ярославский: @uarik
Отрадное: @otradnoe
Бутырский: @butyrskiy
Бабушкинский: @babushk
Медведково: @medvedkovo
Алексеевский: @alexeevskiy
Марьина роща: @marinaroshcha
Свиблово и Ростокино: @sviblovo
Останкино и Марфино: @ostankino
Лианозово и Алтуфьево: @lianozov
САО: @SAO24
Дегунино: @degunino
Сокол и Аэропорт: @sokol
Дмитровский: @dmitrovskiy
Хорошёво и Беговой: @horoshov
Коптево и Войковский: @koptevo
Ховрино и Головинский: @hovrino
СЗАО: @SZAO24
Митино: @mitino
Тушино: @tushino
Строгино: @strogino
Хорошёво-Мнёвники: @mnevnik
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ЗАО: @ZAO24
Раменки: @ramenki
Очаково: @ochakovo
Тропарёво: @troparev
Солнцево: @solntsevo
Можайский: @mojaiskiy
Дорогомилово и Фили: @fili
Кунцево и Крылатское: @kunzevo
Ново-Переделкино: @novoperedel
Проспект Вернадского: @vernadsk
ЮЗАО: @UZAO24
Зюзино: @zuzino
Бутово: @butovo
Коньково: @konkovo
Ясенево: @yasenevo
Тёплый Стан: @teplystan
Академический: @akadem
Черёмушки: @cheremushki
ЮАО: @UAO24
Бирюлёво: @birulevo
Чертаново: @chertanovo
Орехово-Борисово: @orexboris
Донской и Даниловский: @donsk
Нагатино и Нагорный: @nagarino
Царицыно и Москворечье: @tsari
Братеево и Зябликово: @brateevo
ЮВАО: @UVAO24
Лефортово: @lefor
Марьино: @marino
Люблино: @lublino
Кузьминки: @kuzminki
Рязанский: @razanskiy
Некрасовка: @nekrasov
Южнопортовый: @uznoport
Выхино-Жулебино: @vihzhel
Текстильщики, Печатники: @teksti
ВАО: @VAO24
Гольяново: @galianovo
Измайлово: @izmailovo
Сокольники: @sokolniki
Ивановское: @ivanovskoe
Косино и Вешняки: @kosino
Богородское: @bogorodskoe
Перово и Новогиреево: @perovo
Преображенское: @preobrazhensk
ТиНАО: @TiNAO24
ЗеЛАО: @ZeLAO24
Вся Москва и область: @MSK24
Известные личности теперь в Telegram!
😄 Карл Густав Юнг – мысли одного из самых цитируемых психологов.
🥲 Фридрих Ницше – мысли самого цитируемого философа.
🫠 Фаина Раневская – самая цитируемая женщина. Истории из жизни, иронические цитаты.
🙂 Андрей Тарковский – канал о жизни и творчестве великого режиссёра.
😂 Эрих Мария Ремарк – цитаты из произведений и писем великого писателя.
Присоединяйтесь!
DISCOUNTS
A train in Arizona was boarded by robbers, who went through the pockets of the luckless passengers. One of them happened to be a traveling salesman from New York, who, when his turn came, fished out $200, but rapidly took $4 from the pile and placed it in his vest pocket.
"What do you mean by that?" asked the robber, as he toyed with his revolver. Hurriedly came the answer: "Mine frent, you surely vould not refuse me two per zent discount on a strictly cash transaction like dis?"
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы