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web_digger в телеграме. Постинг разрешён всем, ограничений по тематике нет.
http://www.incompleteideas.net/IncIdeas/BitterLesson.html
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Всегда ношу на шее стетоскоп, а если кому-то неожиданно требуется медицинская помощь, читаю лекцию о вреде шаблонного мышления.
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Раздел в местной газете Нью-Мексико, где пишут о случаях, когда резидентов штата считали иностранцами:
https://www.newmexicomagazine.org/culture/one-of-our-50-is-missing/
A poor Irish family lives on a farm and they rely on their single cow for income.
One morning the father walks outside and finds their cow dead.
"Well that's it, our family will never get of poverty now," says the father as he shoots himself dead.
The mom walks outside and sees the father and the cow lifeless on the ground.
"I can't live without my husband," she says as she shoots herself with her husband's gun.
The daughter walks outside and sees her mother, father and cow dead.
"This is awful, I can't live any longer without my family," she says as she jumps into the river and dies.
The oldest son, 25, walks outside looking for the family and sees them all dead.
"Is there anyway to bring them back," he yells at the sky.
Poof! Suddenly a beautiful female leprechaun appears.
"I will bring your whole family back to life, even the cow," she says, "if you can fuck me 5 times in a row. If not I will have to kill you."
The boy fucks her 3 times in a row and he dies.
The middle son, 21 years old, comes out and sees the leprechaun. She gives him the same offer as his brother.
"I will bring your whole family back to life, even the cow," she says, "if you can fuck me 5 times in a row. If not I will have to kill you."
The son agrees to do it but can only do it 4 times. He dies.
The youngest son, 18 years old, comes out and is given the same offer.
"I will bring your whole family back to life, even the cow," she says, "if you can fuck me 5 times in a row. If not I get to kill you."
The son asks, "What if I fuck you 10 times in a row?"
The leprechaun thinks. She says, "I will bring back your family and give you my pot of gold."
The son says, "What if I fuck you 20 times in a row?"
She thinks again and says, "I will bring back your family, give you my pot of gold and give you an enormous mansion."
The son thinks and says, "What if I fuck you 30 times in a row?"
She thinks and says, "I will bring back your family and make you the richest man in all of Ireland."
The son says, "Wait, how do I know you will survive it?"
"What do you mean?" says the leprechaun.
The son says, "Well the cow didn't."
https://amp.ridus.ru/top-50-samyh-umopomrachitelnyh-zagolovkov-proshlogo-goda-347249.html
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https://babylonbee.com/news/fbi-rally-in-dc-ends-without-incident/
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asian_sheepshead_wrasse
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Однажды к Учителю пришёл любопытный паломник.
- Учитель! - сказал он. - А вы можете лежать на гвоздях?
- Ну, могу, в принципе, - удивлённо согласился Учитель.
- Ой, а покажите! - взмолился паломник.
Учитель пожал плечами, высыпал на пол два ящика гвоздей, постелил сверху матрас и аккуратно улёгся.
- Нет, это неправильно, - с упрёком сказал паломник. - Гвозди надо вбить в доску, остриями вверх! И вот на этом лежать!
- Мужик, ты что, дурак? - вежливо поинтересовался Учитель.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woman_Is_the_Nigger_of_the_World
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Average_human_height_by_country
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A man calls home from the bar’s pay phone to see if his wife wanted him to pick up dinner before going home. He’s slightly surprised to hear his little daughter pick up the phone instead.
“Hello?”
“Hey sweetie, where’s mommy?”
“She’s up stairs right now, but I think she’s busy because she’s making funny noises.”
“… what do you mean by that? Is she okay?”
“I dunno! But every day when you leave she goes upstairs for hours with the gardener.”
He spits out his whiskey, “she what??!”
“They make a lot of weird noises under the blankets. It sounds like they’re wrestling.”
He drops his glass and it shatters on the floor. “Oh. Oh no. Goddammit.”
“Yep. And she tells me to never bother her while they’re wrestling under the blankets…”
As the man quietly mutters to himself in bitter rage, a great idea suddenly crosses his mind, and he stands tall with a new confidence.
“Sweetie, I need you to do something for me. Put the phone down, run up the stairs, and scream these exact words… you say, “MOM DADDY IS IN THE DRIVEWAY AND HE’S HOLDING A SHOTGUN AND LOOKS AWFULY MAD” okay? Go now.”
“Okay daddy!” And he hears a loud plunk and the sound of her footsteps ascending the stairs. Then there’s a series of progressively loud thuds, and a crunch. Then the sound of shattering glass. Then footsteps, then a slight ruffle.
“Okay daddy, I did what you told me.”
“… good. What happened?”
“Well I went up stairs, I said ‘MOM, DADDY IS IN THE DRIVEWAY WITH A SHOTGUN AND HE LOOKS AWFULLY MAD’, and as soon as I said that, the gardener screamed and leapt out of the bed in a hurry! He was so scared that he forgot he was naked! And he tried running down the stairs but he slipped and fell, and rolled all the way down, and now he’s at the bottom of the stairs in a pool of his own blood, but he’s not moving anymore. He fell really hard!”
“Good. Good! And what about your mother?”
“Well, she got real scared too! She screamed ‘oh my god I need to hide!’ And she jumped out the window aaaalll the way down into the swimming pool. But I think she forgot that we drained the swimming pool yesterday, so she landed in the empty pool with a loud crack. She’s still in the pool but, but she’s moaning in pain and both her legs are bent backwards. Should I go help her?”
The man thought for a second.
“Swimming pool? I don’t have a swimming pool! Must’ve called the wrong number…” click
https://twitter.com/nat_davydova/status/1660355761652871168
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Disguise Starter kit:
* Short Sleeve t-shirt (must be either too bland to be noticed or so ugly human eyes are incapable of purposefully looking at it)Now press the right-most button on the watch (the leftmost is self-destruct) to play the Mission impossible theme, get out there, and act unnatural! Читать полностью…
* Knee-length shorts, but not in colors people actually wear
* Roll a d8 on the table of average white guy haircuts found on page 87 of the FBI Handbook, then head to your local SuperspyCuts
* Black socks, because the Spy Code states you must wear at least one black article of clothing
* Water bottle in left hand, phone in right, keep your upper arms at your sides with your elbows bent at a 90 degree angle.
* Sneakers, must be short enough for the black socks to be visible, in accordance with Spy Code
* Go to the front desk to pick up your company issued watch, complete with hologram and walkie-talkie apps, because phones are lame.
* Sunglasses, because spy