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Vent Here

04 июля 2023 08:20

Hey Unihorse 🦄
Hide my Identity
I need to vent
20 F. My ex called me today after like a year. I ignored it, but it got me thinking about our history. He was the last person I ever dated because my experience with him made me realize that relationships are just not for me. You might be thinking how could you give up because of one person, but what he did to me was just the last straw. And when I say "what he did to me" I know I sound like the victim but I really wasn't. Most people would even say he was the victim if they heard the whole story.

The thing is.. throughout our few months relationship he would act like everything was fine around me but then would constantly complain to our mutual friends. He would tell them how I don't give him enough time and attention, how stubborn I am and how he feels like our relationship is one sided. My biggest pet peeve in a relationship is when a third party gets involved, and he involved not one but several of our friends. I found out because one of them told me about it since she was the type of person who couldn't keep a secret to save her life lol. She told me that he asked her if I really have feelings for him.

I was disappointed that he was seeking assurance from our friend when he could've talked to me about it directly. So I decided to just give him the chance to do that instead of just confronting him about it and embarrass both him and her. I didn't want him to feel betrayed by her. So I took him out for coffee and asked him if there's anything that's bothering him he can tell me about it so we can work on the issue together. And I swear to God he looked me dead in the eyes and said everything's perfect and he's never been this happy in his life. And he was so convincing I almost wondered if she lied to me for a second. But I asked him again are you sure there's nothing you want me to change? He told me he wanted me to just keep being myself and that he loved me just the way I am. I didn't push him further, but thinking back maybe I should have.

Long story short we ended up breaking up because I gave him so many chances to be honest with me but he didn't and I couldn't take it anymore. When I told him we needed to end it he cried and it was painful for me to watch because I remembered that he told me once that men don't cry infront of a girl unless they're really broken. He said it lightheartedly back then, it wasn't even a serious conversation but it popped into my mind when I saw his tears that night. After I comforted him and he calmed down, he finally told me everything and I asked him why he felt the need to pretend like he was happy with me. He said "you warned me from the start so what right do I have to complain?" and reminded me of the conversation we had back when I agreed to be his girlfriend, we were just friends back then, I told him that I'm not capable of being an ideal girlfriend, and he promised he wouldn't expect much from me and that he just wanted a chance. I told him he would change his mind when he sees what kind of person I actually am, and he confidently said that would never happen.

There's so much dramatic shit that happened even after our breakup but I won't get into that now. I just wanted to say its frustrating when you're the last one to find out about what's going on in your own relationship. That's not how a healthy relationship should be. If that mutual friend didn't tell me about it we probably would've still been together and that thought haunts me. Yeah you might think I'm the bad guy for ending things with him when all he was doing was tryna keep his promise to me (my biggest mistake was letting him make that promise in the first place) but don't you think he's better off without that kind of toxic relationship?? Think about it, being with a girl you can't even call out on her b.s to her face so you have to go vent about it to your mutual friends instead. So yes, ending it was for his own good too. Thanks for reading this long ass vent.

#Relationship
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