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Vent Here

24 марта 2024 15:30

Hey Unihorse 🦄
Hide my Identity
I need to vent
M 24 years old, can't tell you my name. Well i will post part one and two because my vent is too long. Let me begin well. I thought I had a normal life from my childhood, where other people would call it sadness or sickness. I didn't know what I was going through till I was nineteen. I loved karate so much that I worked out so hard that I used to do thumb push-ups, knuckle push-ups, or any type of push-ups. I used to do squats, sit-ups, and karate stretching. The thing is, even though my body looked like an anime-bottied thing or a martial artist, I wasn't strong enough. When I came home from school, my brother always hit me in the stomach. Till today, the stomach is my weak spot. People would always be amused by my beautiful six-packed abs and, of course, my beautiful body and legs, I had everything for them. But the reality is I wasn't as strong as much as I worked out. My grandfather was strong he used to eat a whole sheep on his own. As an infant, I was okay drinking eight to ten liters of cow milk every day. But then when I grew up things changed I used to think that having flu all year was normal, or abnormal things I would normalize. I loved football and everything about football, but now I don't. I was so obsessed with push-ups ups and martial arts that I stopped taking sugar, accidentally I thought that the Chinese didn't eat sugar at all, and that was destroying me, because I was slim and my body demanded sugar not only that, every time I drank tea without sugar I would feel drunk or without energy and I even thought being like that was normal. I lost myself young, I didn't even give myself to chat with a girl, I was obsessed with football and working out, even on holidays I would do push-ups before sleeping. It got worse now I forget, I was in AAU, and I messed up because no one wanted to be my friend there, and my workout addiction destroyed me in and out. After one year of withdrawing from AAU I realized that as a Muslim I wasn't reciting the Quran the right way, since my family knows I have a good character they never thought that I would mess up even in my religion, I was reciting Arabic in the wrong way until I found out when I was home alone after I was withdrew from AAU. I became religious got closer to Allah or God but it's nor enough it seems. Of course, covid played its role too, staying at home or going out with a mask burning my face and burning my eyes. People I need to tell you something: Don't be like me. I liked it when people liked my body, but I didn't work out for fame but for the love of it. But now I regret it because I needed help. I need real friends, my previous ones were fake friends. My parents too played their parts lying to me about my medication, until I was twenty-one and found out at my sister's wedding.

#Friendship #MentalIllness #Family #HealthComplications #Adult
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