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Vent Here is the place for you to vent off anything you have on your mind, get help and give out help to those who vent. Anonymously. Vent using @vent_here_bot For any inquiries and ads, contact 🦄 @MoiPlus "We rise by lifting others"

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Vent Here

Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I need to vent
Guess what I figure out when a guy makes eye contact he wants you to consider it as if he likes you just cause you guys had those eye contact. Cause sometimes they do them eye contact intentionally to make this image in your mind, but still, he might think you are attractive but he doesn't like you, it's like psychological lakafa, he wants you to like him by making you think that he likes you

Does that make sense ?

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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I need to vent
𝐻𝑒𝑦𝑦 𝑚𝑦 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑠𝑘 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑜𝑛 𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛.𝐻𝑜𝑤 𝑊𝑎𝑠 𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝐹𝑖𝑟𝑠𝑡 𝐾𝑖𝑠𝑠?(𝑖 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑖𝑡 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠😁).𝑖 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑖 𝑎𝑚 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑦 𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑠𝑡 𝑘𝑖𝑠𝑠 𝑒𝑛𝑎 𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑎𝑑𝑣𝑖𝑠𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑖𝑡 𝑠𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡,𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒.𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑘 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑠

#School #Friendship #Family #Relationship #Adult
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Vent Here

Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I need to vent
Hello guys i'm 22M its my first time here and my Q is Why is it so hard for me to make friends?

its almost 5 years now i will go weeks without leaving my house. i don’t speak to anyone whether online or any social media.

Like I've lost every friend I've ever had whether it's due to social anxiety or growing apart. It really sucks and I feel so lonely right now and I used to be depressed about it and wondering what was wrong with me but now I just don't care.

I'm Still lucky to have one friend that contacts me and I enjoy talking with them but I still feel this sense of loss and sadness. Like I’m missing out on life because I don’t have friends to do stuff with. I know I can go alone or with my significant other and that’s what I typically do but I do miss sharing a bond with random people I meet learn who they are and decide I like them enough to be friends. It’s hard meeting people now and even harder to find people who want to talk and share their personalities freely.

So I definitely want to have friends for sure people who I can talk about anything and whenever so anyone specially the same age as me interested to make a friend i think i'm here guys and thank you

#Friendship #Relationship #Adult
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I need to vent
Hi straight to my point
I broke up with my gf around 3 months ago and never had any intimacy ever since and now I'm starting to get sexually frustrated.
My question is is it worth it to fuck any girl I choose through their agents to alleviate my sexual frustration? Am I gonna regret it or am I gonna be glad I did it?
I'm lost here so help ur bro out please

#Relationship #Adult
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I need to vent
Just know before you read we have broken up for different reasons but related to this.
Me and this dude have been dating for 4 month before we broke up from the start it was a rushed one. i wanted a relation ship so badly at the time so i said yes even though he isn't my type and we talked for a week and he asked me out after our first date we are dating i am his girlfriend and everybody knew about us. A week after the "lets kiss" started a month later lets sleep together and it went on i accommodated for as much as i could but "lets have sex" was the line for me.
We have done lots of stuff and he even saw me butt naked i did as well he sometimes tried to force it on me but stopped after lots of begging, he would get mad i am not doing it for him try to manipulate me into it, and try other things and at some point he started seeing his ex again don't know if he cheated or not but the fact that he hid it from me and only told me when i told him i saw him and he wouldnt tell me what they did or why they met but will swear on earth and the skies that she is just his friend yeah sure.
He also had an ego bigger than his size he wouldn't greet me in public or come to where i am but be mad when i don't say hi to him or don't go sit with him and stuff.
He likes to introduce me to everyone as his gf begs when ever i mention break up or i don't answer his calls but for the public he is nonchalant.
He has so many spies around me calls me when ever one reports to him to ask me where i am which i don't lie but god forbid i forget a tiny detail i am suddenly cheating. It doesnt matter i am panicking or hyperventilating he still want me to make out with him.
Now to my question one day while we were fooling around he started being forceful tied my hand behind my back i begged him to stop but he didn't and was getting on with it and tried to get me on with it he took my cloth off his clothes as well but i was stoic from the fear and he asked whats wrong? As if what he was doing is ok i almost cried but i didn't want to show weakness he let me go.
so my closest friends who know are divided into two
1. He shouldn't have done that and i did the good thing in breaking up with him
2. He is a good guy for letting me go even though he could have done whatever he wanted.
Lets not forget he always said "I could have done whatever i wanted and you would be mad but you would run back to me when you calm down." When ever i said no.
I have focus issue and my defense mechanism is blocking the bad memory but i will add on it in the comments when i remember and when something new happens cause i need someone to share the tea with and trust me there is.
So judge and analyze away.
This looks extremly bad when i read it again.

#Relationship
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Vent Here

Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I need to vent
18F
I'm in highschool and kinda cute,everyone wanted to talk to me stuff mnamn but I just ignored them all,there was this very attractive guy at school,the guy that ever girl wanted to date and every man wanted to be friends with ,like when he enters the class its like the turkish drama 🥺damn I had a hug crush on him ,one unusual nigth he texted me and we talked a lot and at some point he asked me to be his gf ,you see there was a rumor that he is a player and all my friends warned me but I just didn't listen to them and i agreed

Now it's been like 3 months and as u expect he has like destroyed my peace of existence and I have trust issues even with my friends and everyone ,it's been like a week since he laughed at me in z phone and hanged up ,I'm just so damn broke rn ,I need someone to tell me everything will be alright 🥹😭

#School #Friendship #MentalIllness #Relationship #Adult #Teen
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I need to vent
Am f and 23 years old. Am university stu 4tgna amet negn am about to graduate and i feel like everybody hates me like the way the see me menamn betam stressed yadergegnale ena telant yehone wera teweretobgn nbr kza yehone sew ngrgn ena it hurts betaaaam like metfo ngr yawerubgn sewoch ene fit betam tru nbru gn yawerut wera betam kebad nw ene dmo tnsh ngr rasu betam overthink adergalew ena rasen depression wst eketewalew to be honest mn ayanesegnem am pretty gn still i feel like am not enough sewoch gar lemekelakel sew yemiwedegn ayemeslgnm i need someone to talk to 😔😔😭

#School #MentalIllness
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I need to vent
Ena in addition I live in G+3 house and I sometimes drive too but I don't look like it (I hope you guys can picture of me) Is this the devil? I can't communicate with human beings including my family since i overthink everything I will think about it in detail in my head or I don't mind at all bcha algbabam. And I don't have Boy friend or Boys around me. Even people I met through fellowship they won't last because of me. And I sometimes think a very very brilliant Idea like Issac Newton and work what others can't understand and the next day I can't compute 100,000-100..I might want to eat Breakfast menu at lunch time and the waiters always be like 🤔....I hate watching movies they didn't entertain me Its like wasting my time specially series I love reading like its some kind of reward for me when I achieve something. And And I don't have a supportive human being But I am a girl Jesus did a lot for here.Again anyone who can relate

#Relationship #Adult
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I need to vent
I need to make confession here
I am 21 male senior in college. I was going through mental health issues at some point in my life and it was one of the lowest points in my life. during that time, a very close friend of mine ridiculed me for taking medications and he basically believed mental health problems wasn't real.
today after several months, I am healed and doing great in life overall. My friend at the other hand had recently dropped out of college and guess the reason... yes he dropped out because of his deteriorated mental health and he is not in a really great place in his life.
don't get me wrong.. I am not happy about his downfall. he is my friend after all and I feel bad for him. but karma did him dirty and I would be lying if I say I didn't lowkey enjoy this little shitshow he is going through.

#School #Friendship #MentalIllness #Adult
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I need to vent
Hey I am a Girl 20 I vented no for any advices but if anyone who relates please text me so I can relate. okey it might sound weird but Like I’m very different with my peers some Girls wear girly things adel You know A glass on their hair,the small bag they wear,Unique earrings,Gel nails,Eyelashes( you know those kind of girls so I don’t even have to explain) so me I can pay for all those things but I don’t do one of those things I always wear tshirt and Jeans with Brand snickers. I have never wore something tht shows my Boobs or even I always wear something that covers my ass And never girly clothes I am fit and tall and Beautiful what I mean is its not a problem of insecurity. And people wants me to act very egoistic and all but I am very very selfless with high Grades. And I can’t literally communicate with those kind of Girls Its like we have two languages so I don’t have friends like 0 I prefer the nerd ones from my class and uk I spent my time with them and even kenesu erasu I am the nerd one🥸 I know this is so extreme but I think I am nerd from my Mother too.(let’s forget my friends and cousins)
You know I am that kind of girl when a man approaches me I will try to focus on solving his life problem.

#Friendship #Relationship #Adult
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I need to vent
20F
This is something that helped me ( and still is) alot throughout my consciously lived short life and I feel like it will help some people in this group. Whenever u start stressing about life, just remember the temporary nature of existence. Everything has an ending. Nothing is permanent.

I know this statement has lost its deep meaning because it was used by people that didn't understood the depth of what they are talking about. It has lost its value and magnitude. But if u take sometime, to just put your outside activities and buzz on hold and think about it, it's magnificence will most definitely unfold right before your eyes. NOTHING IS PERMANENT!

Say what's on your mind but do it with kindness, be frank about your feelings but do it with grace, learn to fight but do it with humbleness, learn to lose a battle that was never yours to fight, but do it with bravery and elegance. Be open minded but learn to filter.

Things that are causing you great distress right now, will be forgotten eventually, by you and everybody else. Put the "death bed mentality"( constant reminder that you'll eventually die) at the for front of your mind and let that be your motivation to prioritize your life.


But be aware, don't let the impermanence of life discourage you from doing what you're supposed to do, and don't use it as an excuse to slack of from living the life you were given. Do your best - no matter how bitter and agitating life can be- just for the sake of doing it. I hope I made sense.

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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I need to vent
Hey guys 20 M here, how's it going?
I have this crush on a girl at my new college, it's been 3 months since I saw her the first time and now we're talking casually like until we catch the taxi or something, the thing is I want to ask her out before that "just friends" phase kicks in but my past experience with someone is giving me a major doubt, I don't even know if she's like into these things so if it goes wrong it'll be horrible since we're learning in the same class. Any advises??

#School #Relationship
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I need to vent
Hi y'all
So lemme just get to the point...I have this boy bsf who literally have the purest heart and the most loyal,caring personality. Recently, he broke up with his gf. Their relationship was going fine for like almost 3 years then she suddenly said I've lost feelings so let's break up and kinda shii so he just respect her decision and broke up with her. The thing is he still have some feelings for her ena beka he isn't his normal self this days. He was always that one cheerful friend that can make everyone smile. Ena eski recommend some tips on how to move on mnamn or if u ever have been in this situation share your experience on how to get over a girl.
Thanque.🩶

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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I need to vent
What ever u call it well I hate myself for having such a bad taste in people I hate myself for thinking that is what my worth is I hate myself for pushing myself into something I don't want I hate myself for doubting if am worth being associated with I hate how I down played myself I hate how people turn out to be at the end I hate that I overshare I hate every moment that I wasn't comfortable and try to be comfortable and hated it even more I hate how I am sometimes I hate that people make me feel like shit I hate that I was nice to people that don't deserve it and probably were giving me there 10% I hate that there is a part of myself that i will never come to terms with I hate that I didn't change one bit after oll this years I hate that i don't try I hate my being sometimes I hate how i don't wanna be the villan I hate myself for being overwhelmed I hate myself for being hard on myself and can't help it i hate how I take things to heart I hate that I don't get myself
thanks for reading if u did
unintentionally spreading hate

#Agitation
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I need to vent
I'm sick of the people in here asking all lame questions as a vent like
- she/he cheated on me what should I do?
- I have a crush and I wanna kiss him badly what should I do?
- I wanna kill myself can anyone suggest me an easy way to do it? and sooo on.

I mean those things are not something you ask strangers. Everybody knows the answers. I don't get why people crave for STRANGER'S attention this much. Most of you lack character and also really sad in your life.

- She/he cheated on you? just breakup or if YOU believe in second chances give them. PERIOD!
- You have a crush on someone? just go tell them or do your thing since you're the one who knows that person we can't tell you what to do. Or just Google it. There are a lot of scientifically proven ways for your problems on the internet.
- You wanna kill yourself? why the fuck do you ask us for? do we look like we killed ourselves in our previous lives? or do we look like Grim Reaper? If you really wanna kill yourself there are lots of things you can do and tbh you're not actually gonna do it coz you're fkn scared so you vent it out here. Do you people live in a cave or something? You don't ask this kinds of questions it's so fkn lame!

So I have a little advise for you people. We all have our own problems and some of us don't like asking. Instead we THINK of solutions BY OUR OWN. Yeah I admit that there are things that's beyond difficult which may force you to ask ANYBODY. However, you need to learn how to handle or deal with your problems by your own. Coz sometimes life throws you problem tasks in order for you to grow up. Those tasks will strengthen you and make you mature in the long way. But if you keep asking for help in every little tasks you're given you won't be an example for your brothers or sisters or your future kids. And also you're not gonna get much respect among your peers. (I'm addressing "problems" as in general problems not only those I point out in particular and I'm not also saying you have to be superman too).

Ohh I forgot. To people who say "It's my first time venting" I mean WTF! You're not offering yourself for sex are you? I don't get the point of telling us that. It's so annoying.
And also people who say "This is my 9th vent" this is not a race so NOBODY GIVES A FUCK.
Some of you like to tell about yourself like "I'm a good looking but they don't approach me" hhh really?? Then think again and try to remember who lied to you (don't forget the mirror too).

Thanks.
I'm 23M btw.

#Adult
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I need to vent
Straight to the point! my people, how does it feel hugging🫂,holding their hands👫,kissing them💏,spending time with them🤩,looking in to their eyes all day long🫣,hearing them talk......of the the person you are crushing or love?? I mean i am 23 now but never experienced this and i wish to know how it feels☺️.

#Relationship #Adult
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I need to vent
23M uv student
i need some advice or what ever u wanna say
i’m a good looking,not handsome kind but well dressed, self centered, confident guy but i huv this problem of being jealous or afraid to lose or insecure i don’t bcha once i start a rn ship with girls i became week bcos i huv this problem of being easily attached. so i want to control all here movements.. where she’s going... lmn over tewchalsh... bcha the day i started the rn, i’m already finding smt i will say to her when we Brock up! i knw this is crazy. sibeza sibeza elhgna ngn ena btm controlling selhonku i know we will end our thing ena at that time i wanna be I’m the one who is dumping her.
if she did it i will die!!! think of smt bad to say to her but i never did.
anyways please try to understand what i said and tell me what kind of devil is doing this to me and how can i get over this?

#Friendship #Relationship #Adult
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I need to vent
It's been 4 months since we stopped talking, but i can't stop thinking about you.. ur just tall not that attractive gn i still fall for you i think about you every single day maybe someday you will come back , I'm sure no one will love you just like i do abate yimut ewedhalehu, yemigermew i knew u were bi and all the fucked up things u did gn i still fall for you

Fuck love

#Relationship #Teen
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I need to vent
So if I survive ps I’m not suicidal this wasn’t a suicide attempt I think my liver might fail because I might have taken too much pills. I mean I used to think I was suicidal like literally a day ago I was thinking about how I always hurt the ones that care I wonder why they still come back I’m so selfish my father had the worst luck for having me as a kid. I think I’ve been going through self hate. But now this might be paranoia but I really wanna wake up tomorrow. I dnt want to make a scene but my liver the left side of my body is in a lot of pain. Damn it’s all fun and games till uve accidentally done it. Lord Jesus save me this time is what’s going through my head. I’ll be back. Ps no one really wants to die 🫤 ppl just do crazy shit some times. That’s just how I feel right now i know I’ll regret telling ppl I know cuz they will probably think I’m seeking attention. Specially if I survive I think I’ll be embarrassed. I dnt think im gonna die but now more than ever I really really really hope I dnt. All the suicidal thoughts are not there anymore now I’m desperate hoping I’ll wake up tomorrow. A mix of emotions really I’m laughing at my self cuz a part of me is saying “bruv lezi nw all that I won’t care if I die bullshit why r u scared” part of me is saying “ damn so this is how it happens really is this the last time ur eyes will be open”.

I might die I might not die. My liver might fail or keep functioning all I know is I dnt want to die

#HealthComplications
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I need to vent
I'm D, 23M and still trying to find my purpose and peace. I don't know what I want to be or maybe 'just' being happy doesn't count in this demanding world. What is success? Is it a 6-digit paycheck? Is it traveling around the world and posting pictures on Instagram? Is it getting married and having kids? Or is it just lying in bed, staring at your ceiling, and unexplainably smiling? If you're done with all the shit the world has given you, you've probably only want the last one. But what if I want them all? What if all those weren't too much to ask? What if all those were as easy as grabbing stars from the sky like how songwriters made it to be? It is impossible but they made us feel it is doable because of love. Maybe they're right figuratively, and not literally, but this world is real and figures of speech only live in words, not in actions. What else can we have other than what we have now; struggle, pressure, loneliness, short-lived joy, traumatizing relationships, songs, and alcohol? I wish timelines are the same for all people. I currently don't know where I belong. I feel trapped with monsters in my head and futilely fighting against them. It's like there are 2 souls inside me: one wanting to be just happy and the other reminding me I can't. They said all the answers to my questions are on me, but why do I only see a big question mark everytime I look in front of the mirror?

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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I need to vent
Ok so just a question, why do only the older guys seem to be attracted or interested in me, like I am 17 and the guys that talk to me or are interested in me are 22 or older, and at first I thought they were just bored or playing around so I replied but now its like any guy that is attracted to me is older and like is there something wrong with me or is this normal or this doesn't happen to my friends and I am lowkey freaking out

#Relationship #Agitation #Teen
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I need to vent
Hey May, if u are reading this, i just wanna say I'm completely happy for u. I know right now we are not on good terms and shit but i did my best to not lose u. And i pray to god that u will regret losing me. It's not that i still love u the same way i did before but what I'm asking for is a little bit of closure. I don't know whether to move on or just dwell on the past waiting for u. I don't think any girl will do the damage u did to me. And i don't think anyone is gonna be worth the try. I genuinely wish u a happy life. They say it's rly hard whether to wait for something that might not happen or move on! And they're Goddamn right!!!

#Relationship #Teen
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
Hide my Identity
I need to vent
Hy am 24 dude endet nachu zare vent sareg yemejemerya new bzu gize koychalew eyanebebku zare ke wste release mareg mfelgew le sew mestefakir eyeserahu new ke gize wede gize akomalew bl alchlkuk mn mareg alebng

#Adult
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Vent Here

Do you want to go to exciting places? Are you looking for a HIKING, CAMPING, PARAGLIDING, CYCLING and other related trips from one platform?

On our channel:
✅ You will get the chance to meet over 7,000 travelers
✅ You will find 1300 trips
✅ You will get the access to reach 50+ hiking groups

⛺️🥾 Join our telegram channel and get 5-10% discounts from the trips. ⛺️🥾

👉 /channel/+czN-Ic16629hYzhk 👈

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Hey Unihorse 🦄
Hide my Identity
I need to vent
Update. So someone mentioned double standards in the comments and you're right if I was a man everyone would be telling me to end things and stay away, but anyway I had decided that's the best thing to do. I already knew that I guess I just wanted to vent about it because I don't have anyone to talk to. And for that one person who said in the comments that all you were thinking about is "Damn, some unlucky dude is gonna marry this girl in the future." that cracked me up ngl because someone else has told me the exact same thing before, word for word, but don't worry I'm never getting married. Wouldn't do that to anyone. The plan is to become the crazy cat lady from The Simpsons and then die alone lmfao (and don't assume I'm being insensitive just because I'm making jokes, that's just how I deal with things lol)

So anyway the update is I called him today, I wanted to be respectful and explain things in person because he deserves that. We talked in his car, and after I explained everything I asked him if I'm wrong. I asked him to tell me the truth and he admitted that I'm right he does want a relationship with me and that he was trying to hide it bc I warned him from the start. He told me he wanted to come clean sooner but changed his mind bc of something I said to him one night while drunk. Apparently he had asked me if I would ever leave him and I replied "if you get attached" I honestly don't remember saying that (tho it does sound like something I would say) but he said he got scared to lose me after that and never tried to confess again. There was nothing more to say after that so I was gonna say goodbye but then he asked me if we could be friends. He said I've been helping him unknowingly with a lot of things in his life. He said he hasn't been drinking as much since he met me. I remember talking about addiction with him and telling him depending on something (not just alcohol but anything) is the worst thing I could think of, and he told me what I said to him that day word for word. I was surprised he even remembered the conversation but he said it helped him decide to deal with his addiction. He also told me I'm the first person he opened up to since his last heartbreak. I already knew about his last girlfriend, she left him for another man (who she's now married to) after they lived together for three whole years. Ironically she has the same name as me. I remember how he literally teared up first time I told him my name. I remember how he chuckled bitterly and told me that's his ex's name, and eventually a few weeks later he had told me a bit more about her. Because of her he hasn't trusted anyone since, avoided everyone until I came into his life, so he said he might shut himself off from the world again if I leave. I told him I don't think being friends is the right thing for us, and then he told me to at least call him now and then and not completely disappear. So that's it he dropped me off and left. Please men if a girl tells you she wants something causal BELIEVE HER. Don't expect you're gonna change her mind down the line. Save yourself and your precious time and just tell her you don't want that. I'm gonna find it hard to trust men on that from now on, but I'm done with all this friends with benefits bullshit anyway so it's okay. Lesson learned. I guess my question now is would it be giving him false hope to become friends with him? He says he doesn't have any expectations beyond friendship if that's all I'm willing to give, and just wants to be there for me if I ever need anything, but I don't know him well enough to figure out if he truly means it. Has anyone here remained just friends with a friends with benefits partner? Is it even possible or should we just cut all communication? Girls if you've experienced this please let me know how it went, and men would you really be able to stay friends with someone you have feelings for and have been sleeping with?

#Melancholy #Adult
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Vent Here

Hey Unihorse 🦄
Hide my Identity
I need to vent
can you guys help me out ? i need a psychaiatryst ASAP or someone professional that could help me out before i do something stupid ena mtakut kale suggest me ena tell me details mn yahl br nw miyasflgeg mnamn

#MentalIllness
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
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I need to vent
I think I need to add context because it's not their fault mulu bemulu ok n their defense they knew eachother from class before I started dating her they weren't like best friends but to they were close enough that people can recognize they knew eachother and the reason I am getting jealous is because most of my jealousy comes from just being insecure and my girl says give me the tiniest trust to do what needs to be done if things get weird between them like telling me and not being his friend anymore so now I just have to accept the fact that she is going to do the right thing and get my emotions under control thats why I'm venting here because there is no one to talk to at campus or home

#Friendship #Relationship
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Hey Unihorse 🦄
Hide my Identity
I need to vent
I was so down.
I was feeling like shit.
And that is when he said it.

"I know you. I Know what you want. You want love"

I don't know what came over me. I let down my guard completely, and then he kissed me. And to be completely honest i kissed him back.

And ruined everything.

He was in my class I've known him since COVID. We were besties and had a special connection. He was protective, i felt safe with him. He was unique in the way he held himself. He is kind by choice, he worked towards kindness everyday. He cared for me, checked up on me. We had great friendship. But it was all in my head.

He never saw me as just a friend. But he acted as if that is the only way he could see me. And i believed him.

I fell in love with another guy, we were together for a year and we broke up. I told my friend we broke up which was a shock to him, even tried to fix things between us. Few months later i started talking to my boyfriend, we were fixing our issues and things were going back to normal. But i told nobody that we were talking, none of my friends knew, not even him.

And that's when it happened.

I was lost. I wasn't okay starting 7 months before that day. One of the reasons my boyfriend broke up with me in the first place was because i was a wreck(emotionally).
And that damned day, i was down as hell. I was dealing with a lot of issues, family issues, upcoming final and also my class life was going down the drain. I wanted a friend and i called few of them but per usual only he was available.

We meet. We chatted while going to church and the whole way back. We went to our usual place to eat dinner and everything was normal. I kept checking on my phone to see if my b.f replied or not the whole time. After dinner we went to our usual place to sit and chat everything was normal, nothing out of the ordinary.

We were joking as oer usual and the subject turned into how i Easley trust and he said he loved me, i laughed it off. And he said it again, and again. I was like "one more time and i might believe it" and he said it again. "Enough already" was my response. And he felt hurt. "Why is it hard for you to believe i am in love with you? I truly do love you" he said. And he said more but I'm not sure i was listening. At what point we were in a heated argument. At one point he was saying sorry and he hugged me, not his usual hug but a tight one. I remember i was unable to push him back because i was looking for a hug for a while (due to all the stuff that was going on at the time).

Fast forward we kissed so passionately. I shut off my head. Shut off the voice reminding me of my boyfriend. But once we stopped taking i was furious with myself. With my friend too but mostly by my self. I felt like I don't deserve forgiveness. I have little memories of what happened next. My friend was asking if i was okay, if he did something or why is it hard for me to see him .....

That night i broke uo with my boyfriend. I was unworthy of him i thought. I didn't tell him the reason. I was afraid he would hate me. I was afraid of hurting him more.

I didn't talk to my friend either after that. And few months later i talked with my b.f and when i finally get the courage i told him everything.
He was more upset i didn't tell him than what happened. He forgave me.

And that was the worst for me.

Now i have no connection with both. I am left with great memories and great amount of guilt.

I don't know how to forgive myself.
I hurt the love of my life in the worst way. It left me feeling I don't deserve to be loved.
I lost a great love and a geat friend. I know I can't get them back but i want to stop feeling like i deserve every bad thing

Anyone please show me the way to forgive myself

#Friendship #Relationship #Adult
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Vent Here

Hey Unihorse 🦄
Hide my Identity
I need to vent
1 teyake alege ene ethiopiawi nege ena ye addis abeba lij nege  behere degmo amhara lemehonu bezi seat be amhara lay bemideregew genecoide endene temaro tekatlo tengebgebo chaka lemegbat hule eyasebe yale ale weynes ene becha nege??? Hasabachun negeruge eski.

#Friendship #Family
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