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America’s Finest News Source. https://www.theonion.com/
Couple Leaves Baby At Airport Check-In After Refusing To Buy Child Ticket https://bit.ly/3Z47DYn
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Sight Of Coworkers' Stupid Fucking Faces Endured Yet Again https://bit.ly/3YDKhIE
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Report: This Last Time Chiefs Super Bowl Victory Will Be Enjoyable https://bit.ly/3JYZAYt
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Super Bowl Confetti Made Entirely From Shredded Concussion Studies https://bit.ly/3IgLh03
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Chiefs Medical Staff Help Critically Hungry Andy Reid Into Meat-Smoking Tent
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Super Bowl Crowd Erupts In Applause As Rihanna Brings Out Richard Kind https://bit.ly/3E4u4V3
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‘I’m Just Here For The Commercials,’ Jokes Man At Super Bowl Party Too Embarrassed To Admit He Desperate For Any Human Company https://bit.ly/3XhYcTF
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Andy Reid Admits He Can Still Taste Last Super Bowl Victory In Mustache https://bit.ly/3DWyrRS
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Kevin Burkhardt: ‘The Men, They Begin Their Brutal Clash, And We––We Cheer Their Broken Bodies’ https://bit.ly/3XheI6x
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Shy Andy Reid Asks Eagles If They Remember Him https://bit.ly/3ltAd6M
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Panicked Referee Trying To Retrieve Super Bowl Coin From Vending Machine Before Opening Toss https://bit.ly/3YG7l9U
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Kelce Brothers Beg NFL To Let Them Play On Same Team For Super Bowl https://bit.ly/3XvC4VP
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Inexperienced Puppy Bowl Team Still Hasn’t Opened Eyes Yet https://bit.ly/3I9FKIu
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‘The NFL Is Deeply Concerned About Domestic Violence,’ Thinks Local Moron https://bit.ly/3Id5dRx
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Department Of Education Study Finds Teaching These Little Shits No Longer Worth It https://bit.ly/3xdmgwp
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Nick Sirianni Shows Why Andy Reid Was Right To Drop His Ass As Chiefs Wide Receivers Coach In 2012 https://bit.ly/3XkPe8g
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Chiefs Second Super Bowl Win Proves Anything Possible If You Don’t Trade Up To Draft Mitch Trubisky https://bit.ly/3XniKdr
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Donna Kelce Just Glad Her Better Son Won https://bit.ly/3E4LUXU
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Rihanna will headline the show after previously turning down the NFL in protest of the league’s contributions to systemic injustice. https://bit.ly/3RVU7Uj
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Decrepit Tom Brady Wheeled Out To Enjoy Super Bowl Halftime Show https://bit.ly/3HOcKVe
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Andy Reid Carefully Consults Plastic Bib With Chiefs Offensive Plays https://bit.ly/3YoxdHx
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Report: 84% Of Super Bowl Ads Specifically Intended To Distract From Human Rights Violation https://bit.ly/3YqjCPX
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Controversial Puppy Bowl Star Shits During National Anthem https://bit.ly/3xB0WkR
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Roger Goodell Just Hoping For Competitive Game Where No One Dies On Field, Mentions League’s Record On Race, Brings Up CTE, Highlights Discriminatory Hiring Practices, Or Says ‘Deshaun Watson’ https://bit.ly/3K303Ja
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Puppy Bowl Competitors Hide Under Couch During Terrifying Halftime Fireworks Display https://bit.ly/3YzvjE9
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Increased Security Requirements For Super Bowl Mandate All Fan Clothes Be Made From Transparent Plastic https://bit.ly/3YnsCFg
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“Sport is a sociocultural placeholder for the tribalistic catharsis that globalization has taken from us.” https://bit.ly/3YDiQyG
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