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The Onion

Scientists Discover Dangerous Link Between Book Learnin’, Back Talk https://bit.ly/3VEro7z

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Man Who’s Been In A Bunch Of Buildings Figures He’d Be A Pretty Good Architect https://bit.ly/3it1HYS

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“God doesn’t exist, so why celebrate him?” https://bit.ly/3OUHGq5

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“My new, much older boyfriend says I shouldn’t talk to you.” https://bit.ly/3u86zoz

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Most Popular Sex Toy In Every State https://bit.ly/3ioSKQg

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Bowl Of Soup Brings Man’s Lifetime Carrot Total To 11 https://bit.ly/3VfwyX7

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Unless you want to look like a fucking dumbass, it’s usually best to avoid texting teens at all costs. But if you absolutely must, here are the emojis that Gen Z hates the most and why. https://bit.ly/3XCUNjM

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https://www.theonion.com/10-things-that-will-make-you-super-nostalgic-for-the-9-1843592545?utm_campaign=The+Onion&utm_content=1669694404&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_source=twitter

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Man Pulling On Loose Hangnail Slowly Unravels Skin From Entire Body https://bit.ly/3ATQwhY

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It Kind Of Pathetic How Excited 3-Year-Old Is To See Daddy Home From Work https://bit.ly/3u8R3sC

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Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine https://bit.ly/3XJrNHg

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Cyber Monday Retailers Worried Americans Not Ready To Buy Goods Over World Wide Web https://bit.ly/3GTzHYw

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Child Who Just Lost Balloon Begins Lifelong Battle With Depression https://bit.ly/3GTb7qI

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Marvel Not Even Bothering To Replace Green Screens With CGI Anymore https://bit.ly/3u3OlVs

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Republican Lawmakers React To Anti-LGBTQ Violence
https://bit.ly/3XzmdHn

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“I highly doubt it would feel as good as a semen-encrusted sock.” https://bit.ly/3uivcze

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Car Ride Devoted To Explaining What Things Will Be Different About Grandma This Visit https://bit.ly/3ELZcs0

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Gynecologist Inserting IUD Promises Woman It Will Be Just A Quick Pinch And Then She’ll Be On The Floor Unconscious https://bit.ly/3gRIcIV

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Nation’s Old Men Announce Plans To Wake Up At 5 A.M. And Argue With Other Old Men Around Table At McDonald’s https://bit.ly/3gMj3iE

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Point: A Self-Driving Tesla Ran Over My Son

Counterpoint: Elon Musk Is Revolutionizing The Way We Kill People https://bit.ly/3PPs6fB

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Frontier Airlines Shuts Down Customer Service Phone Line https://bit.ly/3ufVgux #WhatDoYouThink?

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Man Returns To Work After Vacation With Fresh, Reenergized Hatred For Job https://bit.ly/3Ufyeid

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Area Man Outraged His Private Information Being Collected By Someone Other Than Advertisers https://bit.ly/3UfBgmr

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Report: World's Lone Non-Telepathic Individual Still Completely Unaware https://bit.ly/3i8PdFp

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Laid-Back Company Allows Employees To Work From Home After 6 P.M. https://bit.ly/3gKnZ7Q

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U.S. Black Friday Sales Surpass $9 Billion In New Record https://bit.ly/3Vg5O96 #WhatDoYouThink?

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Trump Disappointed After Holocaust Denier Tells Him Holocaust Never Happened https://bit.ly/3VdBBHO

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FDA Warns Tying Penis Into Knot Only Prevents 73% Of Pregnancies https://bit.ly/3ihNQV2

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The Onion

Republican Lawmakers React To Anti-LGBTQ Violence
https://bit.ly/3XzmdHn

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The Onion

Republican Lawmakers React To Anti-LGBTQ Violence
https://bit.ly/3XzmdHn

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