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Crack your ribs everyday with laughter. Contact the admin @EmmanuelMuema Join my 50 Telegram channels by clicking here https://telegra.ph/Join-My-50-Telegram-Channels-02-04 This channel's link is https://telegram.me/sickjokes
My next door neighbour just confronted me about missing items from her washing line. I nearly shit her pants.
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My brother was so mean when I was a child. He used to glue the pages of his porn magazines together so I couldn't look at them.
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I never felt wanted as a child but it toughened me up. In fact, one of my first memories is of me having to fight off an intruding coat-hanger!
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I came downstairs this morning to find my girlfriend gone. She had left a note on the fridge door that said, "This isn't working, goodbye."
Well I just opened the fridge and it's working fine.
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1. Jokes
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34. Porn
Inbox @EmmanuelMuema for the link
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I thought for a long time when I was younger that my uncle was a skilled ventriloquist. Turns out it was just an excuse for me to sit on his lap and stick his hand up my ass.
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Told my girlfriend to meet me at the gym, then I stood her up. Just wanted her to know that we ain't working out.
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I tend to remember things just after finishing a wank. Come to think of it.
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I'm not saying you're a lesbian. But that rumour will quickly spread through the office if you don't start sucking.
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Phoned the wife and asked her what she was doing. To which she replied, "I'm watching porn stars". So I rushed home thinking she might be wet and ready for action. To my dismay once I arrived and went straight in the living room, she was sitting there watching some shit show called pawn stars about antiques. Long story short the wife will try anything to get me out of the bar early.
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Take your daughter to
work-day today. Got a few funny looks but in the end it was good for business; plenty of money in the underage porn industry.
My girlfriend just told me she's pregnant. I suggested we buy some knitting needles, and she got very excited. I don't think she was thinking what I was thinking.
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Me and my mate Dave were in the pub when he said.
"Back when I was younger fucked my teacher."
"That's fucking disgusting dave" I foamed.
"Is it? Fuck, she was fit and gagging for it and I was a horny teenager!"
"Dave! You were fucking home schooled."
My gambling addiction must be getting out of hand because I've just lost my wife in a game of poker.
She said "How could you do such a thing, losing your wife in a stupid card game?"
I replied "Sorry love, it was very hard for me at the time."
She said "How do you mean?"
I replied "Well it wasn't easy, folding when you have four aces."
The lesbian couple next door have just bought me a solid gold Rolex for my birthday. However, I think they both misunderstood me when they asked me what I wanted and I said "I wanna watch."
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I was offered sex today, with a Victoria's Secret model. In exchange I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined because I am a person of high moral standards with strong will power.
Just as strong as Bleach, the super strong bathroom cleaner, now available scented lemon or vanilla.
A police officer asks a thief, "Why did you steal this stranger's watch?"
The thief replies, "I didn't steal it -- he gave it to me!"
The policeman asks, "When did he give it to you?"
The thief tells him, "When I showed him the gun."
The first time I met my wife, my head was spinning and my knees were going weak.
It was then I realized I put the drugs in the wrong fucking drink.
"You said you had between ten and fifteen million dollars in the bank," she yelled.
"I didn't lie," I replied, "I've got exactly $23."
Join my 50 Telegram Channels and
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Having your channel link or product pinned on my group costs Kshs 400 for 2 days.
Visit my website here https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com
1. Jokes
/channel/sickjokes
2. Movies
/channel/moviesparadise
3. Avril Nyambura
https://telegram.me/joinchat/B-UUVECRPQ2srNbsi2DFtg
4. Android Tips and Tricks
/channel/androidtipsandtricks
5. Smartphones, Laptops and Electronics
/channel/smartphonesandelectronics
6. Bitcoin
https://telegram.me/joinchat/EAVayUDeo3VuzwMkLnPatw
7. Jumia Online Shopping Mall
/channel/jumiaonlineshoppingmall
8. Newspapers
https://telegram.me/joinchat/B-UUVD8-WVj8KtAysJzIiw
9. Memes
https://telegram.me/joinchat/AAAAAECONnc-yeUf_IjIIw
10. Hookups Channel
https://telegram.me/joinchat/AAAAAEFWqQU20ZiNjldpTA
11. Tv Series
/channel/tvseriesparadise
12. Music
/channel/musicalbumsandsingles
13. Funny Videos
https://telegram.me/joinchat/AAAAAEKTg3zuXW0uwCqabw
14. Telegram Stickers
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15. Loans and Telegram Money
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/channel/poemsandquotes
18. Telegram Channels
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19. Books and Magazines
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20. Private Movies
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21. Lyrics
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22. Emmanuel Muema's Blog
/channel/emmanuelmuemasblog
23. Apps
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24. Bible Study
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25. Lil Wayne
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26. Literotica (Erotic Stories)
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27. Advertisements
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28. Kid's Corner
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29. Nicki Minaj
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30. Eminem
https://telegram.me/joinchat/B-UUVECi2k04yQVxrS5y7w
31. Local Music
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32. Votes and Feedback
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33. Gifs
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34. Porn
Inbox @EmmanuelMuema for the link
35. Private Porn
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36. Art and Graffiti
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37. Telegram Bots
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38. Recipes
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40. Computer Software
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41. Instagram
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42. First Aid
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43. Khaligraph Jones
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44. King Kaka
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45. Gym Workout Tips
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46. Zodiac Signs
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47. Vine
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48. Meditation
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49. Games
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50. Beyonce
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Mix and mingle in my Telegram Group called Hookups
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