Jokes

28 мая 2017 12:49

It's been so hot this evening I've been walking around the house naked. I wasn't sure if the neighbours' kids would be able to see my dick through the window though, so I put on my high heels to make sure.

Jokes

26 мая 2017 15:39

WOMEN
http://wp.me/p3KU8G-3al

Jokes

23 мая 2017 21:01

John: "Look at that dog licking his balls. I wish I could do that."
James: "I don't think he'll let you."

Jokes

23 мая 2017 12:00

I was having trouble with my computer so I called Lucy, the 11 year old from next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked her to come over. Lucy clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As she was walking away, I called after her, "So, what was wrong?"
She replied, "It was an ID ten T error."
I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again."
Lucy grinned. "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?''
"No," I replied.
"Write it down," she said, "and I think you'll figure it out."
So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T.

Fucking cunt...her knickers were off before she got to the door.

Jokes

21 мая 2017 11:29

My son was telling me how well he was doing in our local scout group, "So far, I've got badges for hiking, swimming, sailing, and navigating. What did you get, Dad?''
"Molested, I think."

Jokes

20 мая 2017 15:49

HOW MY DAY WAS
http://wp.me/p3KU8G-3ah

Jokes

19 мая 2017 16:58

My girlfriend keeps moaning that there's hardly any room in the wardrobe. She needs to shut the fuck up, my wife might discover her.

Jokes

16 мая 2017 16:31

I saw a man jump off a building and kill himself today. He looked undecided whilst on the ledge and seemed about to climb back through the window. Then somebody in the watching crowd shouted, "Think of your wife and kids."

Jokes

15 мая 2017 18:37

During a visit to a mental asylum, a visitor asked the director, "How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized?"
"Well," he said, "we fill up a bath, then offer a spoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bath."
"I understand," he replied. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon and the teacup."
"No," replied the director. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

Jokes

14 мая 2017 10:49

I started jury service yesterday. In the trial of a pedophile who abused dozens of kids, I thought I'd get through it easy enough. But after a full day sat on those hard benches listening to just some of the details of the case, I'm hoping they provide me with a cushion today.........
for hiding my erection.

Jokes

13 мая 2017 12:18

My wife went mad when I gave half my wages away this month. She calmed down a bit when I told her it all went to Charity though. Charity is the name of my favourite hooker down at the club.

Jokes

11 мая 2017 16:45

My wife wasn't impressed with the restaurant I'd chosen for our anniversary meal. "There was a cockroach in the toilet," she said.
"Oh come on. A cockroach doesn't necessarily mean their food is bad."
"Really?... Well this one was throwing up."

Jokes

10 мая 2017 22:36

I heard my wife screaming in the bedroom. I ran upstairs to see a small spider on the wall. Relieved, I chuckled to myself and hit the bastard with a rolled up newspaper, then I killed the spider.

Jokes

10 мая 2017 21:19

I heard my wife screaming in the bedroom. I ran upstairs to see a small spider on the wall. Relieved, I chuckled to myself and hit the bastard with a rolled up newspaper, then I killed the spider.

Jokes

10 мая 2017 10:17

Funeral costs are so bloody expensive these days. At my mother-in-law's, after paying for the bouncy castle and pony rides, we could barely afford the face-painting.

Jokes

28 мая 2017 12:43

HEY
http://wp.me/p3KU8G-2YU

Jokes

24 мая 2017 13:22

Dave comes home from work early one day. He walks into the kitchen and sees his wife on her knees, scrubbing the floor.
He watches the rhythmic movements of her bum stuck high in the air for a few seconds, before he can't take it any more. Without a word, he lifts up her skirt, slides in and gives her the pounding of her life until they both orgasm loudly. Then he zips himself up, gets to his feet and kicks her on the ass as hard as he can.
"What the fuck was that for?!" she screams at him."
That was for not turning round to see who it was," he replies.

Jokes

23 мая 2017 14:10

OH THE IRONY
http://wp.me/p3KU8G-3aj

Jokes

22 мая 2017 12:32

My boss fired me today for indecent use of the office computer. I thought I had managed to close the porn browser just before he came into the room. I was right. I was fired for masturbating to the company's balance sheets.

Jokes

21 мая 2017 11:28

LAST NIGHT
http://wp.me/p3KU8G-3ac

Jokes

20 мая 2017 15:44

SERIOUSLY???!!!
http://wp.me/p3KU8G-3ae

Jokes

17 мая 2017 12:56

MY GOSH
http://wp.me/p3KU8G-3ab

Jokes

16 мая 2017 11:48

YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT I DID
http://wp.me/p3KU8G-3aa

Jokes

14 мая 2017 18:34

MY GIRLFRIEND
http://wp.me/p3KU8G-3a9

Jokes

14 мая 2017 00:29

I thought my wife would be really happy with the big rock I bought her for our 20 year anniversary. But no such luck... When I showed her the headstone with her name on it, the bitch just stood there and started screaming.

Jokes

12 мая 2017 12:49

Teach a man to fish, he'll never go hungry.
Teach a woman to fish, however, and bang goes his Sunday afternoons away from the bitch.

Jokes

11 мая 2017 11:28

SPREADING SEED
http://wp.me/p3KU8G-3a8

Jokes

10 мая 2017 22:34

I am selling Unga mwitu.
1kg @Kshs. 45
2kg @Kshs. 75
3kg @Kshs. 115
Expires in three months.
If interested inbox me @Legitungadealer
😁😁😁 Just trying to help out.

Jokes

10 мая 2017 10:35

So after winning the game, I decided to throw the ball into the crowd, like they do on T.V. Apparently, it's unacceptable in bowling.

Jokes

10 мая 2017 10:17

All women do is fucking moan. First my wife bollocked me for nicking 50 quid out of the kid's copper jar and then a prostitute went mental when I paid her in 2p's and 5p's.