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Crack your ribs everyday with laughter. Contact the admin @EmmanuelMuema Join my 50 Telegram channels by clicking here https://telegra.ph/Join-My-50-Telegram-Channels-02-04 This channel's link is https://telegram.me/sickjokes
A girl goes up to her father one night and says, "Dad, can I have the car tonight?" The father looks at her thoughtfully and says, "Sure, if you give me a blowjob." So the girl puts his penis in her mouth and almost immediately spits it back out. "Your penis tastes like shit!" she cries. "Oh yeah, I forgot I loaned the car to your brother earlier on tonight."
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A young lady is watching her mum getting changed to go out for the night.
“What are they?” she inquired.
“Those are mummy’s bosoms,” the mother answered.
“Will I get those?” came the following inquiry.
“When you’re somewhat more seasoned,” addressed the young lady’s mom.
“What’s more, what is that?” the young lady inquired.
“That is mummy’s vagina,” the mother replied, somewhat humiliated.
“At the point when will I get that?”
“That will happen at around the same time you get your bosoms. Presently keep running along and let mummy change.”
The young lady kept running off into the following room where her dad was getting changed out of his work garments to unwind for the night.
“What’s that thing, daddy?” asked the young lady.
“That is daddy’s penis,” he replied.
“At the point when will I get one of those?” the young lady inquired.
“In around 10 minutes.”
@sickjokes
A man took a shit in a gas station and then realized there was no toilet paper. There was a hole in the wall and a sign above it that read: "When you go to the bathroom, wipe yourself with your index finger, stick it through this hole and it will be thoroughly cleaned." The man did exactly what the sign said, but when he stuck his finger through the hole, someone at the other side slapped two bricks together against his finger and because of the pain he stuck his finger in his mouth and started to suck on it.
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You stop and pick up a nice hitchhiking girl. Suddenly she loses consciousness and you take her to a hospital. This is stress. In the hospital you are being told that she is pregnant and doctors start congratulating you with the future newborn. You explain that just an hour ago you have seen her for the first time in your life, but she starts telling that you are the father. This is a big stress already. You ask for a DNA analysis and they do it. Then the doctors tell you silently, that you can't actually be a father since you are genetically sterile. This is a stress, combined with a relief. On your way back home you remember, that you have three kids. That's what the real stress is.
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It's my wife's birthday tomorrow.
Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present. "Oh, I don't know," she said. "Just give me something with diamonds."
That's why I'm giving her a pack of playing cards.
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Hi, I'm bisexual. I'd like to BUY you a drink...and then get sexual.
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Having your channel link or product pinned on my group costs Kshs 400 for 2 days.
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Advertisements will also be done on my website which has 1 million views and can be accessed here https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com
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Apple computer announced
today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play stereo music in women's breast implants.
The iTit, will cost between $499 and $699, depending on ‘speaker size’.
This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women have always complained about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
You can now comment and talk in a Telegram channel. How do you feel about this discovery?
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I really hate it when people text me "K".
I am rarely in the mood to talk about Potassium.
My high school assignment was to ask a veteran about World War II. Since my father had served in the Philippines during the war, I chose him. After a few basic questions, I very gingerly asked, “Did you ever kill anyone?”
Dad got quiet. Then, in a soft voice, he said, “Probably. I was the cook!"
So I'm in bed with this chick and we've been laying there for some time, so I go: "Hey, are we gonna fuck or what?" "You're being a bit presumptuous." She says. "Presumptuous? That's a big word for an 8 year old!"
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The best part about having a prostitute die on you is that the second hour is free.
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A police officer is patrolling the highway when he sees a guy tied up to a tree, crying. The officer stops and approaches the guy. "What's going on here?", he asks. The guy sobs, "I was driving and picked up a hitchhiker. He pulled a gun on me, robbed me, took all my money, my clothes, my car and then tied me up." The cop studied the guy for a moment, and then pulled down his pants and whipped out his dick. "I guess this isn't your lucky day, pal!"
@sickjokes
A married couple down on their luck decides to make a few extra bucks by reluctantly having the wife work the corner. After the first day the husband picks her up and asks "how did you do?". She says, "I did pretty well, I made $200.50". He asks, "What asshole gave you 50 cents?"
"All of them," she replies.
@sickjokes
We should play strip poker. You can strip, and I'll poke you.
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Why shouldn’t women have driver’s licenses? There are no roads between the kitchen and the bedroom.
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So, you're not into casual sex? Fine, I'll put on a tuxedo and we can call it formal sex.
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What's the definition of a woman's perfect lover?
A man with a nine inch tongue who can breath through his ears.