11
Part of @reddit2telegram and @r_channels Source: reddit.com/r/copypasta
Let’s connect (Roblox)
I’ve enjoyed this experience with you.
Let’s connect.
Accept my connection request. Ahh, thanks for accepting.
You’ll be the strongest connection
We can… make some… new experiences together.
Maybe your new experience…
deep breath
Can make it to the top of the charts…
https://redd.it/1m8sob4
@r_copypasta
Actual school excuse notes from 'parents' (including original spelling)
My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
Tim was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had diahre (crossed out) dyrea (crossed out) direathe (crossed out) the shits.
Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.
Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.
Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
Maryann was absent December 11-16 because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upsent stomach. her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
https://redd.it/1m8p52q
@r_copypasta
I have to shit so bad
I’m stuck in traffic but this monster that has formed on my colon has just met its destination. My anus. I fear I will not make it. Please I don’t want to shit myself in my car. I’m 20 minutes away from my home. If you’re reading this, I probably didn’t make it.
I’ll update soon.
https://redd.it/1m8ka8f
@r_copypasta
I is genus
I am a genus. I have the degreeses. I have ans PHD I got from Cambridge DMV. I know rocket science (and watercress sciense two). I am fluoride in many language. I was the first man on the moon, before Kneel Armstrong and Buzz Lightyear. My brian is so big that it spilt in to my arms. I is smartier than Albert Frankeinstein. I stopped climate from changing and saved the world! I won every universe city. It's hard being such bigs genus. I have no bell prizes and my grammy is a prize. I won an Oscar Piastri too. I don't mean to brag but I have 7 golden raspberries, and eleven pink ones. Now lets, eat friends! Afterwards I will achieve world peas.
https://redd.it/1m8i0hg
@r_copypasta
UK government banning everything!!
Okay well great i cant even read posts or anything. The UK government will cause the death of hundreds of people with this new strict rule they've made. We cant even view posts that have been marked as NSFW. Cant even view my own damn post I JUST made on this sub. GREAT GREAT GREAT THANK YOU BRITISH GOVERNMENT!!! I live in NI and how I LONG FOR A UNITED IRELAND SO I DONT HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS UTTER SHIT!!!!
https://redd.it/1m8gh5m
@r_copypasta
Death Stranding Hidden Easter Egg
Did you know that if you look at the letters in Death Stranding that are accentuated by the titular ‘strands’ in the logo you will find a secret message?
They spell out “U R Mr Gay”.
Many fans assumed this to be a coincidence, but with the release of Death Stranding 2, another secret message could be found in much the same manner, only this time by reading the letters in reverse.
“YA I M R U”.
A response to the original secret inquiry perhaps? An elaborate years-long coded conversation between two closeted homosexuals? We might not ever know the full truth.
This is all made more interesting when you consider how secretive that creator Hideo Kojima has been regarding his family life, especially his wife who he is not often seen with in public. “On the Beach”? Might be more like: “On the Beard” if you know what I mean.
https://redd.it/1m8az19
@r_copypasta
When the Europeans came
When the europeans came on the ships and seen those African asses bouncing and titties jiggling like National Geographic, tall statures thick thighs, they was blown away. Never seen - never seen bodies like that until they landed in Africa. Never seen big ass juicy slave titties with a nice big ass black… brown cheeks bouncing as they run across the golden field of wheat. Never seen that shit before.
https://redd.it/1m8a4xo
@r_copypasta
We're going to get the drug prices down
We're going to get the drug prices down, not 30 or 40%, which would be great,
not 50 or 60
No, we're going to get them down 1000%,
600%,
500%,
1500%,
Numbers that are not even thought to be achievable because I've used a certain talent that I have and convinced the drug companies that you have no choice the drug companies we're selling, drugs,
same company, in Europe and other places based on what Europe told them to sell 'em in and they said let america pick up the difference i wouldn't let it happen
https://redd.it/1m85g68
@r_copypasta
Grandfather clock balls 🕰️🙏💯🔥😭
I ᴡɪʟʟ ꜱᴡɪɴɢ ᴍʏ ʙᴀʟʟꜱ ᴀᴄʀᴏꜱꜱ ʏᴏ ꜰᴀᴄᴇ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ɢʀᴀɴᴅꜰᴀᴛʜᴇʀ ᴄʟᴏᴄᴋ 🕰️🙏🏻 ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ʟᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴄᴀᴛᴄʜ ᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇɴᴛɪɴɢ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ ʟɪʟ ʙʀᴏ💯🔥😭
https://redd.it/1m81tnk
@r_copypasta
Reddit Mod Crashout
That's it. THAT'S IT. I have had enough of you! Let me say this FIRST. Josh has done an absolutely AMAZING job and I am not just saying that just to say it! When it comes to moding, Josh has exceeded expatiations far and beyond and that's before I even knew he was 14! Josh can run circles around any moderator on this goddamn entire website and that's a fact JACK! I was absolutely freaking BLESSED beyond belief to have him mod on my sub and would continued to keep him on if it wasn't for school! If I could go back in time and do it all over again, I WOULD STILL CHOOSE HIM because not only is he brilliant, he is also very kind! He is everything anyone who owns a sub could want in a moderator!
I am now BANNING YOU because this was a completely unnecessary comment to make because you were already told that he was stepping down as mod because school is starting in a few weeks, but noooooooooooooooooooo, you decided to rub salt into all of our wounds. How f***ing DARE YOU after me, my mods, my Uplift Crew did everything and went out of our fucking way to accommodate all of your concerns and make changes to our Uplift Crew JUST FOR YOU!
But then you have the audacity try to attack the incredible f**king job Josh has done? Are you out of your ever loving f***ing mind???? Josh is incredibly intelligent and worked so hard on this sub and did it to PERFECTION. He is one of the MAJOR reason why this sub is so successful and thrives! And will continue to be successful and thrive when he finally steps down to focus on more important matters like school!
So the fact that you went out of your f***ing way to LIE just to try to make this the owner, the mods and the Uplift Crew continue to feel bad for the last 24 hours and continuing to do so shows me you do NOT have honest or genuine intentions. GTFO OUT OF MY SUB AND DON'T YOU DARE EVERY COME BACK! If you try to sabotage our sub in any manner, we will see it from a mile away so don't you dare even try it! GET OUT!
https://redd.it/1m7q6o3
@r_copypasta
Accidentally gave my girlfriend a hairy butthole, not sure how to fix it.
Hey guys, I need some help.
I’ve been using topical minoxidil to grow a beard because people keep saying I look like that kid from The Suite Life of Zack & Cody even though I am on 200mg of TRT. I apply it after showering at night, but my girlfriend and I usually have sex before bed, and I’m into eating ass (don't judge).
Here’s the issue: despite barely seeing any progress on my beard, I’ve noticed a lot of hair growing around my girlfriend’s butthole. She has no idea what’s going on and is freaking out, and honestly, I’m not too happy about it either. I was all for eating ass, but now there’s too much hair, and at this point it’s a huge turnoff because it reminds me of eating a man’s ass.
If I stop using the minox, will her butt hair go away, or am I stuck with this? Not sure if I should tell her the truth? I don't want to admit it’s my fault. I'm honestly thinking about just breaking up with her. It sucks because she has one of the best buttholes I have ever seen on a woman.
Looking for advice.
https://redd.it/1m7scqs
@r_copypasta
If you think Elden Ring is too hard then this game just isn't for you
If you think Elden Ring is too hard then this game just isn't for you
All of you casuals and normies with "jobs" and "lives" and have anything in your lives that isn't literally elden ring, this game is not for you. You are an inferior class of gamer. Go play fortnite instead
And if you claim to have "beaten" the game but you used h t exploits like summons, spells, crafted items, or overpowered weapons then you are wrong and have cheated. l've only been using a level 1 whip, mouse and keyboard, not using light and medium roll exploit, spell or blessing exploits.
If you don't like spending 3 hours exploring a dungeon just to find a helmet that you will never equip, then this just isn't for you.
These are just the facts
Edit: Also I beat the DLC on the first day and all the bosses on the first try
https://redd.it/1m7lvz2
@r_copypasta
Christan Death Grips
I recently had a conversion to Christianity lol so I feel a desire to find bands that have a similar level of artistic talent to Death Grips but that are more religious lmao. They're my favorite band of all time and I was in their top 100 listeners on Apple Music 3 years in a row and the year I discovered them idk if I was because I didn't know you could check. But since I converted I'm kind of looking for other music that aligns more with my spiritual beliefs/is just more spiritual in general (though of course death grips is to some extent, at least the way i interpret their lyrics). I still love Death Grips of course I just want something that aligns more with where I'm at in life right now.
Also I'm not looking for a band that necessarily sounds like Death Grips, just ones that are similar in skill. I come here specifically since I likely have similar taste to a lot of you since we all love Death Grips.
If it helps I really love most "rym-core" albums, but also bands like YHWH Nailgun (who i discovered from this sub actually) and my favorite genre is probably dream pop, so like Beach House and stuff (idk if they're rym-core", when i say that term i just am thinking of the albums highly rated on their mostly, though i definitely haven't listened to as much as i should/would have liked to so feel free to recommend those albums even if you think I might've already listened). I also like a lot of classical music.
I also am really into poetry and am actually a published poet. My favorite is Shakespeare (lol I probably sound pretentious) but I also love people like TS Eliot (his Four Quartets is a major factor in my conversion) and just the modernists in general. I also love Wordsworth and Whitman and Emily Dickinson to name a few. But I generally don't care about lyrics in music nearly as much as you might think since I think they're a different thing than poetry (kind of the way prose and poetry are different, poetry and music lyrics are different usually, though they can of course be similar just as poetry can be prosaic and prose poetic). But my point in bringing that up is aesthetic purposes I guess/just my general taste in art.
So anyway any recommendations? (I know this sounds stupid I feel dumb lmao but anyway)
https://redd.it/1m7h3vi
@r_copypasta
the rhythm 🗿
The cosmos awakening to its true nature 🗿
The divine spark within all beings igniting 🗿
The universe itself ascending 🗿
The final realization that we are all one with the beat 🗿
me 🗿
you 🗿
ur girlfriend 🗿
ur dog 🗿
ohio sigmas 🗿
mr beast followers 🗿
gymrats 🗿
average phonk user 🗿
the FINAL BOSS 🗿
ur skills 🗿
the people 🗿
ur food 🗿
People who liked this comment 🗿
https://redd.it/1m7elnk
@r_copypasta
People who upvote this post 🗿
The song 🗿
The beat 🗿
The creator 🗿
The producer 🗿
The instrumental 🗿
The software used to create this beat 🗿
The synthesizers 🗿
The drums 🗿
The bassline 🗿
The guitar riff 🗿
The background melodies 🗿
The sound effects 🗿
The sound engineers 🗿
The autotune 🗿
The studio where it was recorded 🗿
The recording booth 🗿
The microphone 🗿
The mixing board 🗿
The mastering process 🗿
The final touches 🗿
The speakers blasting the sound 🗿
The headphones 🗿
The earbuds 🗿
The phone playing the track 🗿
The Bluetooth connection 🗿
The AUX cord 🗿
The radio stations broadcasting it 🗿
The vibrations in the air 🗿
The sound waves 🗿
The subwoofer thumping 🗿
The car stereo booming 🗿
The vibrations in the walls 🗿
The windows rattling 🗿
The ones listening to it 🗿
The neurons firing in your brain as you vibe to it 🗿
The dopamine surge 🗿
The adrenaline rush 🗿
The goosebumps 🗿
The fans cheering 🗿
The viewers on YouTube 🗿
The thumbs up on the video 🗿
The comments left by fans 🗿
The pinned comment 🗿
The one who commented first 🗿
The guy who got ratio'd 🗿
The first person who heard it 🗿
The person who replayed it 50 times 🗿
The guy who added it to his playlist 🗿
The person who saved it offline 🗿
The one who recommended it to his friends 🗿
The one who shared it in a group chat 🗿
The people bobbing their heads 🗿
The guy lip-syncing 🗿
The DJs spinning this track 🗿
The party where this was the vibe 🗿
The house party shaking with the beat 🗿
The concert where it was played 🗿
The rave where the lights matched the music 🗿
The crowd jumping to the beat 🗿
The stage lights 🗿
The speakers on stage 🗿
The pyrotechnics 🗿
The laser lights 🗿
The fog machine 🗿
The fireworks in the background 🗿
The mosh pit forming 🗿
The people getting hyped 🗿
The hands up in the air 🗿
The festival where this track was played 🗿
The afterparty 🗿
The Uber ride home blasting it 🗿
The person humming the melody 🗿
The muscle contractions making you dance 🗿
The people posting fire emojis 🗿
The GIF reactions 🗿
The comments section 🗿
The algorithms pushing this to the top 🗿
The YouTube trending page 🗿
The Spotify viral charts 🗿
The people sharing it on social media 🗿
The Instagram stories 🗿
The TikTok videos 🗿
The reels 🗿
The algorithms pushing it further 🗿
The fan-made remixes 🗿
The nightcore version 🗿
The slowed + reverb version 🗿
The 1-hour loop 🗿
The fans listening on repeat 🗿
The house shaking from the bass 🗿
The car subwoofer booming 🗿
The windows vibrating 🗿
The neighbors complaining 🗿
The people putting it on during a party 🗿
The road trips with this on repeat 🗿
The Spotify Wrapped featuring this track 🗿
The year-end list 🗿
The workout playlist 🗿
The gym bros blasting it during sets 🗿
The headphones on full blast 🗿
The Bluetooth speakers in the park 🗿
The person running to the beat 🗿
The joggers 🗿
The cyclists 🗿
The gym 🗿
The squat rack 🗿
The leg press 🗿
The dumbbells 🗿
The barbells 🗿
The kettlebells 🗿
The bench press 🗿
The incline bench 🗿
The rowing machine 🗿
The spin bike 🗿
The treadmills 🗿
The elliptical 🗿
The weights clanking 🗿
The gym bros grunting 🗿
The cardio section 🗿
The squat racks 🗿
The weight plates 🗿
The chalk for gripping 🗿
The protein shakes 🗿
The supplements 🗿
The jars of creatine 🗿
The jars of BCAAs 🗿
The pre-workout 🗿
The protein powder 🗿
The protein bars 🗿
The energy drinks 🗿
The guy hitting a PR 🗿
The high-fives after hitting a new personal record 🗿
The gym shoes 🗿
The wrist wraps 🗿
The lifting belts 🗿
The gym clothes 🗿
The sweatbands 🗿
The shaker bottles 🗿
The gym bags 🗿
The powerlifting chalk 🗿
The Bluetooth headphones 🗿
The earbuds falling out mid-set 🗿
The veins popping 🗿
The sweat dripping 🗿
The sweat-soaked shirt 🗿
The adrenaline kicking in 🗿
The guy doing extra reps 🗿
The steam room after a workout 🗿
The sauna 🗿
The cold showers 🗿
The
Real replies under the comment "I've only had one boyfriend" on r/askwomen
Commenter: "Dating is not stressful, but I've only had one long-term boyfriend."
Replies (word for word):
"Damm ive seen your posts, you like League of legends? Maybe we can play tonight. Youll have a second long term bf."
"White females like you always seem to downplay the fact that you're polygamous and probably a cheater. This is why the rest of us can't get a break.I'm respectful and kind to females and all I get is hate on me because I am a man who likes to have respect and values for myself. Shameful, the west is actually a hellhole. I only go for Asian females or Euro females these days. Americans sluts are so..." and it goes on.
"let's... Do it" that's all.
"yeah. i agree. women shouldn't settle for assholes who play sports. most just want guys who play video games and have a little meat on them to keep them warm while snuggleing. i got hit on by this 10/10 chick at the beach and we had a nice romantic eveneing together. she told me about how most girls prefer fat men because they see that 'hunter' archetype that most women prefer as they see a man who will protect them like it the old days. but anyways it doesn't matter because I believe that everybody has tastes it's just a fact that most ladies prefer the larger (a doctor would say 'obese') man."
https://redd.it/1m8p3vd
@r_copypasta
Uncircumcised dudes what does your smegma taste like?
I want to regrow my foreskin and I heard that it produces smegma but does it taste bad because I know I'm gonna be tempted to taste it. Also what if girl doesn't like how my penis tastes
https://redd.it/1m8mwyu
@r_copypasta
>It it normal for a man to suckle on your breasts during sex like he’s feeding?
\>I've noticed this happen with a few guys, so it seems to be a trend with me I guess? I know that nipples are erogenous zones, so I see why a man would want to stimulate these areas during sex. However, I've often notice that some men like to suck on my nipples like they're drinking a thick milkshake from a straw. This leads to redness, soreness, and discomfort days after sex. Is this a normal thing for men to do? Or do you all think I attract men with a certain kink?
https://redd.it/1m8jo2q
@r_copypasta
The bus and me
So the bus was inside of me and I heard a sinister laugh coming from behind and at that point I realised it is actually a cat le cat said to me "§" and I realised that I actually was living inside the matrix so in order to escape I got the spindle thing from insection and started spinning it and of course it started spinning. At that point the cat naturally started doing backflips which prompted me to double jump causing me to teleport to minecraft with Jack "Steve" Black and there there was Vladimir Putin and a creeper actually was not there which actually caused me to wake up and then I saw it. The face of the cat. I was still in a dream.
https://redd.it/1m8fto5
@r_copypasta
Why does the far right hate women, minorities, science, education, books, empathy, and literally joy itself?
What the actual fuck is wrong with conservatives?
You vote for rapists, domestic abusers, segregation cosplayers, and literal white supremacists, then turn around and call yourselves the “party of morals”? Bro, your moral compass is so broken it’s doing cartwheels in hell.
You cheer when states legalize forced birth, strip away trans rights, and ban schoolbooks like it's 1933 Germany. All while clutching a Bible you’ve never read and jerking off to Reagan’s ghost.
You scream about pedophiles while electing men who “date” 14 year olds and vacationed with Epstein. You cry about groomers while defending churches with a higher body count than COVID in 2020. It’s projection olympics out here and y’all are going for gold.
You hate education because educated people don’t fall for your fear porn. You hate immigrants because they work harder than you. You hate LGBTQ+ people because deep down, you’re jealous they know who they are and you’ve been pretending your entire life.
Every time you vote, another piece of America dies. You want a theocracy, not a democracy. You don’t want freedom, you want control. Control over uteruses, classrooms, marriages, and the internet, because you can’t control your own pathetic lives.
Your masculinity is so fragile it shatters if a Bud Light can has rainbow packaging. You think drag queens are dangerous but Kyle Rittenhouse is a “hero.” Y’all would throw Jesus in a detention center at the border and call it patriotism.
Republicans don’t care about kids. If they did, they wouldn’t let them starve, die in school shootings, or grow up without basic healthcare. But sure, ban a pronoun pin and call it victory.
You are not patriots. You are parasites feeding on fear.
I don’t want to “understand your side.” I want it gone. I want it dragged into the daylight, exposed, dismantled, humiliated, and buried under the weight of every lie you’ve ever told.
https://redd.it/1m8fcs7
@r_copypasta
I just sharted in bed. A tiny bit. My wife hates me now
My family had Chinese food for dinner tonight. This place NEVER upsets my stomach. Tonight it did. I was laying in bed, my wife next to me and a shart just popped. A tiny one. I ran to the bathroom. She knocks on the bathroom door and told I left a tiny shart stain on the sheets.
She walked away saying "so fucking disgusting". She's right.
Wtf. It came out of nowhere.
I am a monster. I am gross. I am so emberassed. I am typing this from the toilet while I take a huge poop.
People like me belong in the gorilla cage at the Zoo.
https://redd.it/1m8b857
@r_copypasta
Garfelf's Guide to a Great Lasagna - Real Garfelf's Monologue
Wow, you found me. To be honest, I honestly thought I would be trapped forever, but I guess that's not so. At least not anymore. You see...
Every since I rose to fame with my hit video "Garfelf", I've been trapped every since. My life has been nothing since then. The people I once knew weren't themselves anymore. Jon, Odie, and all the others were different. I... I just didn't know them anymore. I didn't know who I was anymore.
Was I Garfield, Garfelf, Garfoogle, or Garfoold? The internet made a monkey out of me. But it is you... Yes, you! That has finally freed me. So now... So now everything can go back the way it was.
I go back to eating lasagnas and hating Mondays in peace. All because you found all seven Lasagnas that built up Garfield and what it stood for.
So thank you... Thank you for returning things back to the way they were before!
Now go! Go and be free! And never, ever, and I mean ever, come back to this game again.
https://redd.it/1m84q9h
@r_copypasta
Thank you, Commander
Thank you, Commander, for so thoroughly and brutally dispatching my enemies. But now I'm afraid, you have outlived your usefulness. You know just enough to be a threat to me and with that the future of the Soviet Republic. I will not say до свидания commander, for I can assure you... we will never meet... again.
https://redd.it/1m83l1a
@r_copypasta
Anyone here just goes out at night and fights people?
My life was boring as fuck so I started going out and just fighting people. I started putting on a ski mask and at first it was only homeless people then it evolved to high school kids and now I’m picking fights with grown men. I even have a nemesis. I beat up the same guy a couple times, found out where he works so I catch him off guard after he gets off work. He’s been posting on Facebook about catching me at night and giving me what I deserve. Dude drives around at night with a shotgun trying to kill me. My life is so much more exciting now am I crazy for doing this?
https://redd.it/1m7twci
@r_copypasta
I'm just gonna be honest with you guys..
I'm just gonna be honest with you guys. (sighs) Madison Beer could strap up and relentlessly blow my back out. You may as well consider Madison Beer as my American flag. So just know that when I die, please don't even bother sending me to heaven. Just send me to Madison Beer's crib.
https://redd.it/1m7uamx
@r_copypasta
aita for launching intercontinental ballistic missiles at disabled babies and kittens
i admit its a bad habit but i think people take it way too seriously and just repeat what theyve heard online abt the subject
https://redd.it/1m7r2kv
@r_copypasta
Playing League of Legends is more fun than dating
League of Legends is more fun than dating.
If you ask someone out, you might get rejected and it would be awkward for you. League of Legends won't reject you like that. You can always queue up (unless you get banned or something), and get into a game after a few minutes.
You won't have to deal with jealousy if you see your crush with someone else. Of course , there are bad teammates, but it won't cause resentment that lasts months or years.
If you are burnt out and don't want to play anymore, you can always close the game and play again the next day. If you break up with your SO because you're bored, and want to get back together the next day, they won't want to.
The other person can break up with you for any reason/no reason. League of Legends probably won't ban you for any reason or no reason, and you'll always be able to play unless you troll or int or something.
If a date doesn't work out, and all they tell you is that they "don't feel the sparks" or something, you probably will never know why it didn't work out. If you lose in League of Legends, it's because your nexus got destroyed. You always know exactly why you lost.
If you have multiple boyfriends or girlfriends, they'll say that you're cheating on them and get angry at you. If you play League of Legends while playing another game at the same time (such as during death timers or in queue), nobody will get angry at you.
https://redd.it/1m7ko88
@r_copypasta
‼️⚠️READER BEWARE 📢18+ ONLY 🔞
You must be wondering who I am, well, haha, I guess you could say I'm the alpha.. Yeah I know, shocking isn't it? It must be bizzare to a mortal like you. Welp, I should've known this would happen. Don't worry human... I'll take care of you... I swear on my life. My pack and I will defend everything you love and more... anything for you SIGH A FOX BEGINS TO RUN IN YOUR DIRECTION NO!!!! DARLINGGG!!! JUMPS IN FRONT OF YOU AND PUSHES THE FOX TO THE GROUND, GRIPS IT TIGHT USING MY RAZOR TEETH AND RIPS IT TO SHREDS DARLING, MY LITTLE WOLF PUP....i didn't want you to see this side of me.. im sorry, i really didn't mean to scare you... im sorry my love, we'll meet again in another life.... I RUN AWAY INTO THE NIGHT OF THE BLOOD MOON
Sent from my Nokia
https://redd.it/1m7bhrz
@r_copypasta
post-workout soreness 🗿
The foam roller 🗿
The massage guns 🗿
The stretching mats 🗿
The mirrors reflecting those gains 🗿
The bodyweight exercises 🗿
The jump rope 🗿
The planks 🗿
The pull-up bar 🗿
The gym lockers 🗿
The water fountains 🗿
The vending machines 🗿
The pre-made meals 🗿
The high-protein snacks 🗿
The electrolytes 🗿
The calorie counters 🗿
The workout apps 🗿
The fitness challenges 🗿
The gym membership 🗿
The recovery drinks 🗿
The post-workout smoothies 🗿
The sports massages 🗿
The muscle fibers repairing 🗿
The anabolic window 🗿
The soreness after leg day 🗿
The PRs being broken 🗿
The progress photos 🗿
The gym selfies 🗿
The Instagram posts of gains 🗿
The comments on those posts 🗿
The likes on those posts 🗿
The shares 🗿
The stories reposting gym goals 🗿
The fitness influencers 🗿
The workout tutorials 🗿
The lifting PRs 🗿
The macros 🗿
The meal prep 🗿
The calories burned 🗿
The fitness challenges 🗿
The daily workout streak 🗿
The biceps flexing 🗿
The veins bulging 🗿
The protein-rich meals 🗿
The supplements 🗿
The people saying "one more set" 🗿
The squat depth 🗿
The motivational quotes 🗿
The workout music blasting in the background 🗿
The gym attire 🗿
The leggings 🗿
The sweat-wicking shirts 🗿
The tank tops 🗿
The sports bras 🗿
The lifting gloves 🗿
The resistance bands 🗿
The yoga mats 🗿
The end of the universe 🗿
The beginning of the next 🗿
The dark matter around it 🗿
The supermassive black hole 🗿
The expansion of space 🗿
The time dilation felt while vibing 🗿
The energy permeating everything 🗿
The strings of reality vibrating 🗿
The particles dancing to the frequency 🗿
The quantum fields affected 🗿
The Big Bang itself 🗿
The gravity of the situation 🗿
The speed of light being surpassed 🗿
The wormholes opening 🗿
The alternate realities formed 🗿
The cosmic dance of galaxies 🗿
The infinite potential of existence 🗿
The birth of stars as this plays 🗿
The cosmic dust swirling 🗿
The nebulae glowing 🗿
The fusion reactions ignited by this song 🗿
The pulsars pulsing to the rhythm 🗿
The supernovas exploding in sync 🗿
The black holes warping space-time 🗿
The quasar beams slicing through galaxies 🗿
The cosmic radiation vibrating 🗿
The entire universe humming with the beat 🗿
The parallel realities merging 🗿
The time loops repeating this song 🗿
The multiverse syncing to this frequency 🗿
The fourth dimension bending around it 🗿
The fifth-dimensional beings nodding their heads 🗿
The strings of the universe vibrating with every note 🗿
The quantum entanglement happening between listeners 🗿
The gravitational waves caused by the bass 🗿
The energy of every atom responding 🗿
The dark energy accelerating its expansion 🗿
The curvature of space bending around the sound 🗿
The cosmic background radiation absorbing the melody 🗿
The dimensions beyond our understanding feeling this 🗿
The philosophers contemplating its meaning 🗿
The poets writing verses inspired by it 🗿
The artists painting to the sound of the beat 🗿
The dancers moving in perfect sync 🗿
The actors making cinematic masterpieces with this in the background 🗿
The screenwriters crafting epic scenes set to this song 🗿
The novelists writing entire sagas inspired by its rhythm 🗿
The architects designing buildings that pulse with its beat 🗿
The cities shaped by the energy of this track 🗿
The lights of the world flickering to its tempo 🗿
The oceans rising and falling with the flow 🗿
The tides pulled by the gravitational pull of this song 🗿
The winds across the world swirling in sync 🗿
The essence of life itself flowing through the melody 🗿
The fabric of reality stretching as the song pulses 🗿
The energy in every atom accelerating 🗿
The vibrations of the universe reaching their peak 🗿
The infinite possibilities unfolding with every beat 🗿
The ultimate truth of existence being revealed 🗿
The very meaning of life unraveling in the song 🗿
The purpose of everything aligning with
I got back at this stacy for denying me her prime hymen
I got back at this stacy for denying me her prime hymen
I took my sister to the doctor and there was this big-boobed, busty, asian female doctor.
I constantly tried flirting as she was examining my sister for herpes(it runs in the family) but sadly with no prevail.
But the mere act of touching her hands after having shaked it triggered a survival mechanism, I was so close to pinning her down with my superior, manly physique and thurst into her before I realized what I was thinking.
During the whole examination I kept staring at her and her fertile and so young breasts. I couldn't contain myself and it was obvious that she was being shy and becoming nervous. Add to the fact that i am also attracted to my sister, it was a living hell. I was surrounded by two nymphettes of who I could fuck none. It's as if they were smirking at each other enjoying the torture they were causing me. Small signs such as the doctor always smiling at my sister made it obvious that they were cockteasing me.
Needless to say my adventure didn't go well it ended up with me giving her a clingy hug and she laughed it off and almost pushed me away. But at the end of the day I managed to find her Instagram and indeed my big-boobed asian goddess delivered many ejaculations.
I guess I won in the end.
https://redd.it/1m7ctw1
@r_copypasta