"Methamphetamine and LSD are polar opposites; with meth you think you're acting normal while everyone knows you're high, but with acid you think you're acting strange and obvious while in reality you're just sitting there doing nothing."
Читать полностью…"Watching a horror movie and seeing the characters do the exact wrong thing at every opportunity must be exactly how climate scientists have felt for 50 years watching world governments."
Читать полностью…"Windows is the friend you tolerate because Apple is stuck up and Linux is a hermit."
Читать полностью…"The reason people suddenly drive faster when you try to pass them is because you showed them how slow they were going."
Читать полностью…"The light that tells you Caps lock is on really ought to be closer to the caps lock button"
Читать полностью…"All sources of light are temporary, and are going to expire one day but darkness, persists forever."
Читать полностью…"using a love potion to seduce someone is rape, as it's having sex under the unfluence of a substance, and they therefore can't give consent."
Читать полностью…"Sally who sells seashells at the seashore must have the most insane profit margins ever"
Читать полностью…"You really only need to buy 14 calendars in your lifetime as long as you keep them in good condition"
Читать полностью…"A super intelligent species that was able to locate us and then travel all the way here wouldn't need us to take them to our leader."
Читать полностью…"Walmart made about $600B last year, yet can't install NFC readers on their credit card machines."
Читать полностью…"Babysitting typically employs the least experienced people in one of the highest trust situations."
Читать полностью…"Weeds have the same motivation as every other plant, but we just deem them unworthy to live."
Читать полностью…"The younger generations bear the brunt of the recklessness of the older generations"
Читать полностью…"Thanks to Bluey there's a entire generation of non Aussie kids that will be using Aussie slang."
Читать полностью…"Lack of sleep causes psychosis and hallucinations. So we all are slowly drifting towards insanity but sleep just resets the timer."
Читать полностью…"There are definitely evangelicals out there that refuse their McDonald's when their order number is 666"
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