Also, the print edition is coming (contains interview to our Lord Hussie)
https://www.newsarama.com/39334-andrew-hussie-takes-homestuck-from-the-web-to-print-with-viz.html
You just think you can figure everything out by yourself, don't you? Who needs friends and allies, right? Friendship and allegiance are emotions for dipshits like humans and trolls. You really are quite full of yourself, you think. Yes, you just thought that. No, don't resist the thought you just had. You thought it, and you can't unthink it. You also think you are a mean little prick. You had that thought all by yourself, totally unprompted, and it is causing you to reflect on a lifetime spent being petulant and awful. Wait no, on second thought you don't think that. You have no remorse and you think you're great. No, you don't think you're great. You think you suck, and you regret slaughtering that juggalo. Please do not argue with your own brain. That's what a lunatic does.
Читать полностью…GG: It sure sounds like you two are up to your necks in this crazy game.
UU: oh yes. we are Up to qUite a bit fUrther than oUr neck in it. ~_u
UU: bUt it's alright. i love games.
UU: my brother, on the other hand...
GG: Not such a big fan of games?
UU: on no, qUite the contrary.
UU: his passion for games transcends any hUman Understanding of love.
UU: for yoU to Understand it woUld be to fUlly comprehend the meaning of...
UU: how to pUt it.
GG: Um.
GG: Beauty?
UU: horror.
Your bro had a lot of junk like this manufactured over the years. He patented the technology for producing THREE DIMENSIONAL JPEG ARTIFACTS, to make products shittier than was ever previously imaginable. He made a killing off them. Not because anyone bought this garbage. But because they were so cheap to manufacture, their cost was actually NEGATIVE, therefore miraculously netting him profit for every unit produced. He made so much money this way, he had enough to finance manned space missions to haul all of the hideous unwanted jpeg shit off the Earth, and launch it into the sun. But years thereafter, every now and then someone would report a stray shitty skateboard slowly drifting back into Earth's atmosphere. People would pray they would burn up on reentry. But they never would.
Читать полностью…GC: YOU 4SK3D WH4T 1T M34NS TO B3 TH3 S33R OF M1ND
TG: yeah
TG: and
TG: i obviously still dont know
GC: OK TH3N 1LL JUST 4SK TH1S
GC: HOW MUCH OF YOUR R34L1TY DO YOU TH1NK 1S M4D3 OF WH4TS 1N YOUR M1ND?
TG: i dont know sounds like a riddle
TG: fuck it ill just say all of it
TG: i mean that is the answer right
GC: SM4RT4SS >:P
GC: 1T 1S NOT 4 R1DDL3, 1T 1S 4 S3R1OUS QU3ST1ON, TH3R3 1S 4 B1G D1FF3R3NC3 D4V3
GC: 1F YOU S33 WH4TS 1N YOUR M1ND CL34RLY 4ND UND3RST4ND TH3 POW3R YOUR THOUGHTS H4V3
GC: TH3N YOU UND3RST4ND R34L1TY WH1L3 3V3RYON3 3LS3 1S RUNN1NG 4ROUND CONFUS3D 4ND 4NGRY 4ND UPS3T
GC: B3C4US3 TH3Y TH1NK R34L1TY 1S SOM3TH1NG H4PP3N1NG TO TH3M
GC: R4TH3R TH4N SOM3TH1NG TH3Y 4R3 M4K1NG 3V3RY MOM3NT W1TH 3V3RY THOUGHT
TG: oh ok
GC: HOW W3LL DO YOU TH1NK YOU KNOW YOUR M1ND D4V3?
CG: SO YOU WANTED TO GET TROLLED, WELL YOU GOT IT.
CG: PREPARE TO GET YOUR PUNY HUMAN BULGE FLAMED INTO NUCLEAR HATEBLIVION.
CG: WELCOME TO THE TROLLOCAUST. THE PAINSTAKING GENOCIDE OF YOUR FRAGILE SELF ESTEEM WILL BE MY SWAN SONG.
EB: oh boy, this sounds great.
EB: but...
EB: we're out of time!
EB: i have to go put this plan into motion.
CG: OH I SEE, TAKING THE COWARD'S WAY OUT.
CG: SCAMPERING OFF TO GET ANNIHILATED BY A DEADLY RIFT, HOW CONVENIENT.
CG: WELL FINE, SAYONARA YOU WORTHLESS CROTCHSTAINED BARFPUPPET.
CG: I WILL BID YOU ONE FIRST AND FINAL FUCK YOU.
CG: FUCK YOU, JOHN EGBERT.
CG: FUCK YOU AND FUCK THE JOKE BOOK YOU RODE IN ON.
CG: FUCK.
CG: FUCKING.
CG: YOU.
EB: :D
EB: see you soon!
CG: WAIT
CG: WHAT
"A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 13th of April, 2009, is this young man's birthday. Though it was thirteen years ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name!
What will the name of this young man be?"
Happy 4/13
CG: NO, NO, IT'S COOL.
CG: HE'S COOL, IT'S FINE I DON'T REALLY MIND THE STABBING, IT WAS ALL A MISUNDERSTANDING.
CG: WELL OK I'M PRETTY SURE HE MEANT TO STAB ME.
CG: BUT I KIND OF THINK THAT'S LIKE
CG: THE WAY HE GREETS PEOPLE?
A favorable flip. The senator exhales in relief.
But, what are you so happy about, Mr. Lemonsnout?
He looks a bit confused. He quivers his lowly proboscis at the coin.
See? The coin has exonerated him.
Coin? What coin?
Surely you jest, Mr. Senator. The prosecution sees no coin.
SHE'S BLIND, REMEMBER?
DAVE: so it was pretty funny how i made a copy of roses evil book right before she burned it and now she doesnt know about it
DAVESPRITE: i know its crazy what kind of foresight this guy has
DAVESPRITE: im telling you coincidences like that are unreal they dont even happen
DAVESPRITE: most of the time
DAVE: the best thing about how i did that is how it in no way will ever come back to bite us in the ass ever
DAVESPRITE: dude our shit is SAFE
DAVE: so safe
DAVESPRITE: gonna sleep pretty sound tonight
DAVESPRITE: with that big fucking payload of safety you just got dropped on us
DAVESPRITE: gonna be all huggin my pillow and shit
DAVESPRITE: grinning like a goddamn bear full of honey
DAVE: safer than some flintstone vitamins in a bottle
DAVE: keep twisting junior all you get is clicks
DAVESPRITE: asshole thinks its candy
DAVESPRITE: doesnt even know he just stepped on a security rake and got a face full of fucking safety
DAVE: yeah
DAVE: anyway guess ill go back down and burn that book
DAVESPRITE: alright
CG: OK I DON'T SEE HOW WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE BECOMING FRIENDS IF YOU RECOIL FROM MY OLIVE BRANCH LIKE I'M WIGGLING A GNARLED TREE MONSTER'S DICK IN YOUR DIRECTION.
Читать полностью…Aaaand on 4/13 a new game is coming, a Hiveswap spin-off:
http://store.steampowered.com/app/833040/Hiveswap_Friendsim/
GT: I dont understand!
GT: Are you saying i have to kiss him... like uh... on the lips... while you stare at me through his sunglasses like a weirdo??
TT: Yes.
GT: That doesnt make any sense!
GT: Can you actually tell me whats going on?! What happened to him?
TT: I told you, Jake.
TT: Dirk is dead.
TT: He is lying on the floor of Roxy's room, headless, four hundred and thirteen years in the future, while the universe is about to be destroyed.
TT: If you don't kiss me soon, he will be dead forever.
GT: Its like you are surrounding me from all sides with imitations of yourself but never the REAL YOU!!!
GT: Cheese and fucking crackers when do i just get to talk to the actual dirk?
TT: Jake, what do you even know about someone's actual self?
TT: What makes it actual? What is "actuality?"
CG: YEAH, BUT CAN I JUST SAY SOMETHING IN MY DEFENSE BEFORE THAT HAPPENS?
CG: I DON'T ACTUALLY HATE YOU, AND I NEVER DID. I WAS DELUDING MYSELF.
CG: DEEP DOWN I'M SURE I WAS ALWAYS PRETTY OK WITH YOU.
EB: thanks karkat!
CG: IT WASN'T A FUCKING COMPLIMENT.
TG: no dont bother john
TG: hes on like his fuckin
TG: wind mission or whatever
TG: getting all his ridiculous magic cyclone powers on and realizing his huge blowy destiny
TG: as the chump of shoosh
CCG: EVERYBODY, DID YOU HEAR THAT?? SUPERFUTURE VRISKA HAS AN IMPORTANT LIFE LESSON FOR US ALL.
CCG: WE DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT OUR PRESENT RESPONSIBILIES AND OBLIGATIONS!
CCG: BECAUSE AS IT TURNS OUT, IN THE FUTURE ALL THAT STUFF ALREADY HAPPENED. WE'RE OFF THE FUCKING HOOK!
CCG: TIME TO RELAX. LET'S ALL CRAWL INTO OUR COCOONS AND GET BUSY STIMULATING OUR AUTOEROGENOUS SHAME GLOBES.
CCG: FIRST ONE TO START A WANK FIRE GETS A SHINY BOONDOLLAR.
CCG: THIS IS AN ORDER FROM YOUR LEADER.
But Sollux, even with his vision twofold, does not have the perceptional luxuries of our vision omnipresent.
When executed, the subprogram will summon an indestructible demon into the recently voided universe. This monstrous being with the power to travel through time is inconvenienced very little by his arrival upon THE GREAT UNDOING. He has the entire cadaver of the expired universe to pick apart at his whim. From its birth through its swelling maturity and tapering decay. In a reality he is known to have marked for predation, he will go about assembling followers through various epochs, even going as far as personally establishing the parameters for his future summoning.
Sollux couldn't know that the virus is essentially a formality.
The demon is already here.
This young troll stands in his respiteblock. It just so happens that today, the 12th bilunar perigee of the 6th dark season's equinox, is the day of this young troll's larval awakening, also known as his wriggling day. Though it was six solar sweeps ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name!
Six Alternian solar sweeps, for convenient reference, is equivalent to thirteen Earth years.
Earth, also for convenient reference, is a planet that does not yet exist.
What will the name of this young troll be?
JASPERSPRITE: Rose im just a cat and i dont know much but i know that youre important and also you are what some people around here call the Seer of Light.
JASPERSPRITE: And you dont know what that means but you will see its all tied together!
JASPERSPRITE: All the life in the ocean and all the shiny rain and the songs in your head and the letters they make.
JASPERSPRITE: A beam of light i think is like a drop of rain or a long piece of yarn that dances around when you play with it and make it look enticing!
JASPERSPRITE: And the way that it shakes is the same as what makes notes in a song!
JASPERSPRITE: And a song i think can be written down as letters.
JASPERSPRITE: So if you play the right song and it makes all the right letters then those letters could be all the letters that make life possible.
JASPERSPRITE: So all you have to do is wake up and learn to play the rain!