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Original dad jokes directly from Reddit Contact us: @UPAC_DevelopmentBot 🖤
Dogs and rabbits
I used to enjoy eating hot dogs with my rabbit, but after he died I decided to eat them with no bun.
Submitted by bobamek
@DadJokesCompilation
The world’s worst impressionist walks into a bar.
The bartender asks, “Why the wrong face?”
Submitted by porichoygupto
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Who is Bruce Lee's vegan brother?
It's Broc-Lee.
Submitted by qwertyelliot
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Where do lonely tv’s like to go?
A remote island.
Submitted by Hazelfly17
@DadJokesCompilation
I had a joke about rifled barrels
but it was pretty boring.
Submitted by ACE-Pham
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A Mafia hit-man was arrested for killing a man in a rice field with a porcelain figurine.
The police said this is the first known case of a knick knack paddy whack
Submitted by NeGuy1
@DadJokesCompilation
Someone asked me why I use lots of spices whenever I cook
So I said thyme is of the essence
Submitted by GrandmasterTactician
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My wife is teaching my little ones (3/1) about bugs so they wrote “Ant” in honey on a piece of paper to attract them and set it out on the deck. She was sad When we went out to check later that day, only one was there.
You should have pluralized it and more would have shown up!
Submitted by vtfb79
@DadJokesCompilation
I lost my thesaurus today
I don't have a word to describe how upset I am about it.
Submitted by bryanBr
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Who can drink 5l of petrol and not get sick
Jerry can
Submitted by Patrick_L58
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I accidentally played dad instead of dead when encountering a bear
Now it can ride a bike without training wheels
Submitted by pepenaman
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What ice cream shop uses sheep’s milk?
Baaaaaskin Robbins
Submitted by SloppyToppyDownSouth
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I tried using an old math book as bait when fishing
Turns out that math wasn’t the best topic for De bait
Submitted by charlo64
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Did you hear about the cow farm destroyed in the tornado?
The scene was udder annihilation.
Submitted by Nevets52
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I received an email today from the owner of a German sausage processing plant, he said I could have it for only 1000€
I agreed and wired him the money. What’s the wurst that could happen?
Submitted by Mustacius
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I'm thinking of starting a candle making company.
My family doesn't think it's a good idea, but I keep assuring them it makes scents.
Submitted by habsfan1112
@DadJokesCompilation
My husband cooked steaks tonight. Mine was so tender, a piece kept falling off my fork.
Husband: "Guess you could say it's an es-steak artist!"We have 3 kids he's teaching this mess to. Help.
Submitted by rachels_texorcisms
@DadJokesCompilation
I personally invented the idea of using puns in a joke!
OK, that one's patently false.
Submitted by Ghosttwo
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What do you call the gay man who walks at the speed of a turtle?
'Slow-mo'sexual
Submitted by JayTheAsian
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why do people go to bed?
because the bed doesn’t come to you.
Submitted by sleepcow
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A man was arrested for beating up someone with a battery-shaped dildo
He was charged with sexual battery.
Submitted by Reyzorblade
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Regretfully, during this weekend’s outdoor house project, my son was stung near his left nipple.
On the plus side, now he’s a BEE cup.
Submitted by relentless_wrinkle
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My sun hates me.
Because he just got burned.
Submitted by TheDizzyRooster
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Grocery Bagger: Do you want the milk in a bag?
Dad: That's okay, just leave it in the carton.
Submitted by professorf
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Did you hear about the man who was tap dancing?
He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.
Submitted by drivecrux
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I can't find the control for my TV.
It must be in a remote location.
Submitted by Alex13104
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My Dad never told me a Dad joke
No punchline, my Dad genuinely doesn't tell me any jokes. But he does have a nickname for me...
Submitted by Zillax90
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Two peanuts rolling down the hill
One of them was assaulted.
Submitted by snuggeybug
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how did the astronaut die?
exposure to Mercury
Submitted by zannzuchii
@DadJokesCompilation
My dad comes in from mowing the lawn
DAD: "Man, I am dizzy from mowing the lawn"
ME: "Drink some water and lay down, it's hot out there!"
DAD: "Go look at the lawn" winkHe mowed the lawn in a giant circle pattern... The circumferences that man will go for a joke
Submitted by The_Only_Abe
@DadJokesCompilation