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Healthy Confrontation (3)
“Lord, you have searched me and you know me… you perceive my thoughts.” Ps 139:1-2 NIV Just as a body builder develops a great physique by using the correct weightlifting techniques, you must apply the right techniques to achieve the desired results in resolving your conflict. No athlete attempts to lift heavy weights or engage in intense exercise without first warming up his or her muscles. The warm-up is crucial to the workout, as it minimizes the risk of injury and increases overall muscle performance. Similarly, preparing for confrontation is almost as important as the confrontation itself. Confronting someone spontaneously or without preparation can have disastrous results. Preparation allows you to look at the situation more clearly and not in the midst of an emotional moment, and will most likely lead to a more effective encounter. This would be a good time to pray: “Lord, you have searched me and you know me…you perceive my thoughts from afar…Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely” (vv. 1-4 NIV). It’s important that you first deal with your negative emotions, such as anger or resentment. While you may deem them justifiable, if you don’t “release them” by the power of the Holy Spirit they will become a roadblock to achieving harmony. And you must also refuse to succumb to the fear of addressing the issue, lest you abandon the entire notion of initiating a confrontation. God can work on both ends of the line. While you are praying and preparing your heart, He can prepare the other person’s heart. “There is deceit in the hearts of those who plot evil, but joy for those who promote peace” (Pr 12:20 NIV).
Healthy Confrontation (1)
“When Peter had come to Antioch, I withstood him to his face.” Gal 2:11 NKJV When Peter showed partiality to Jews over Gentiles, Paul confronted him over it! Why? To keep unity in the church. Sometimes you’ve no option but to confront someone. The question is, “How?” None of us are born with the innate ability to do this; it’s a skill only learned through practice and patience. And the reason we’re not good at it, is because we avoid it like the plague. As a result, our relationships suffer and our problems don’t get resolved. The first step in preparing for a confrontation is to establish the right purpose for putting the issue on the table. The focus should be on achieving a better relationship. This can either involve getting someone to stop doing something, or start doing something. At no time should your goal be to tell someone off, or get something off your chest, or lay a guilt trip on them. So it’s important that you first confront yourself. Be honest about why you’ve decided to confront the issue. Do you have an ulterior motive such as resentment or wounded pride, or do you want to see a genuine change in behavior? You need to ask yourself, “When this confrontation is over, what behavior do I want to see the offender change?” Remember, in effective confrontation you are looking for a desired outcome and a win-win for both sides. “A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city” (Pr 18:19). If a person knows you truly care about them and are seeking to glorify God in the situation, you’re more apt to get the response you seek.
Start Looking Forward
“Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.” Php 3:13 NLT There are things inside you that must be dealt with before you can move ahead. Every experience you’ve had from birth until the present moment has helped shape who you are. The things that happen to you, good and bad, are instrumental in determining how you’ll act and react for the rest of your life. Paul talks about “forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.” You ask, “What did Paul have to forget?” A lot! On Paul’s orders Stephen, the first Christian martyr, was stoned to death while he looked on. Before he met Christ on the Damascus Road, Paul routinely imprisoned and put Christians to death. The fact is, if he hadn’t overcome his past he would never have written half the New Testament and helped establish a church that would last two millenniums. Was Paul perfect? Not even close! That’s why he said: “I keep working toward that day when I will finally be all that Christ saved me for and wants me to be…I am still not all that I should be but I am bringing all my energies to bear on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God is calling us up to heaven because of what Christ Jesus did for us” (vv. 12-14 TLB). The only place the past can live is in your memory; and the only power it has over you is the power you give it. So the word for you today is: Start looking forward.
Always Do More Than What’s Expected
“Live generously and graciously toward others.” Mt 5:48 TM
Jesus said, “Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over” (Lk 6:38). Notice, He didn’t say, “Only give to those who can give back to you.” John Bunyan, the author of Pilgrim’s Progress, said, “You haven’t lived today successfully, unless you’ve done something for someone who can never repay you.” In the days of Jesus, a Roman soldier could legally force a Jewish civilian to carry his heavy backpack for up to a mile. That was his right, and you refused to do so at your peril. So to walk the first mile was to do only what was required. Then Jesus came along and said, “If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two” (Mt 5:41 NIV). Why? Because “extra-mile service” gives you an opportunity to impact the lives of others. A person with an extra-mile attitude is someone who cares more than others think is wise, risks more than others think is safe, dreams more than others think is practical, believes more than others think is possible, and gives more than others think is necessary. Here’s how Jesus bottom-lines it: “If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that. In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up. You’re kingdom subjects…live like it. Live out your God-created identity…generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you” (vv. 46-48 TM). So always do more than is expected.
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Only Jesus Can Satisfy Your Soul
“Whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst.” Jn 4:14 NKJV The line from an old hit song goes, “Looking for love in all the wrong places.” That was true of a woman Jesus met at a well in Samaria. Here’s her story: (1) She tried religion but it didn’t satisfy her. She told Jesus, “Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, and you Jews say that in Jerusalem is the place where one ought to worship” (v. 20 NKJV). So she had religious head knowledge but it didn’t satisfy the longings of her heart. Has that been your experience too? (2) She tried human relationships and they failed her. Jesus told her, “You have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband” (v. 18 NKJV). Has that happened to you too? The relationship you need most—is with Jesus. (3) She tried Jesus and He satisfied her soul. When Jesus told her, “Whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst,” she replied, “Sir, give me this water, that I may not thirst” (vv. 14-15 NKJV). Religion without a personal relationship with God will leave you unsatisfied and unfulfilled. It’s like drinking saltwater—the more you drink, the thirstier you get. Religion devoid of a relationship with Christ is like a pacifier that a baby works hard to suck on, but from which no real nutrition flows. Perhaps you’ve been disappointed by Christians and hurt by the church. If so, the word for you today is: Don’t give up religion until you’ve tried Jesus, for only He can satisfy your soul.
You Can Change
“Lengthen your cords, and strengthen your stakes.” Isa 54:2 NKJV The desire to change is the key to growth in any area of life. Most of us desire improvement, yet at the same time we resist change. But you can’t have one without the other! Change is possible only if you want it badly enough. As Fred Smith, the founder of Federal Express, observed: “You are the way you are, because that’s the way you want to be. If you really wanted to be any different, you’d be in the process of changing right now.” Change is never easy. It takes lots of time, tremendous amounts of energy, perseverance, and—of course—desire. But the desire to change must translate into a decision to change. And you must make that decision day after day. It’s said that Earl Weaver, manager of the Baltimore Orioles baseball team, was unhappy with a decision by the umpire so he charged out of the dugout and yelled at him, “Are you gonna get any better, or is this it?” If you want to change, you must ask yourself a similar question. Are you going to keep working and trying to get better, or is this as good as it gets? The Bible puts it like this: “Enlarge the place of your tent; and let them stretch out the curtains of your dwellings; do not spare; lengthen your cords, and strengthen your stakes.” Pay close attention to the words enlarge, stretch, lengthen, and strengthen. What do they have in common? They all require commitment and persistence. That’s what it takes to change your life. And the good news is that with God’s help, you can do it—starting today.
Lessons From The Life Of David (5)
“These are the last words of David.” 2Sa 23:1 NLT Someday we will all die, and our last words are often considered some of our most important. The question is, have you lived to your highest potential and fulfilled God’s purpose for your life? The Bible says, “These are the last words of David.” What will he tell us? His story is a checkerboard of good and bad, profit and loss, victory and defeat. During David’s lifetime his son raped his daughter, one son killed another, his wife turned her back on him, his friends betrayed him and took his kingdom, his mentor tried to kill him, his family rejected him, and he spent a lot of time hiding out in caves. Now David speaks to us one last time. Will he talk about Goliath? Or Saul? Or Bathsheba? No. “David, the man who was raised up so high…the man anointed by the God of Jacob…the sweet psalmist of Israel, [said], ‘The Spirit of the Lord speaks through me; his words are upon my tongue. The God of Israel spoke. The Rock of Israel said to me: The one who rules righteously…in the fear of God, is like the light of morning at sunrise…a morning without clouds…the gleaming of the sun on new grass after rain. Is it not my family God has chosen? Yes, he has made an everlasting covenant with me. His agreement is arranged and guaranteed in every detail. He will ensure my safety and success” (vv. 1-5 NLT). Why are these words recorded in Scripture? For the benefit of those of us, like David, who are less than perfect but whose hearts never cease to follow God.
Lessons From The Life Of David (3)
“They mobilized all their forces.” 2Sa 5:17 NLT Paul writes, “Fight the good fight of faith” (1Ti 6:12). Some of God’s promises have to be fought for. The Jebusites who controlled Jerusalem told David, “You’ll never get in here!” (2Sa 5:6 NLT). So expect resistance to your vision, especially when there’s no evidence yet to validate it. To make matters worse, Jerusalem was hundreds of feet above David’s army and the only way up was through a water cistern, which meant wading through muck. “Nevertheless David took the stronghold of Zion” (v. 7 NKJV). Understand this: If He has to, God will bring you up through the gutter to get you to the throne. Note the word nevertheless. When you’re up to your neck in problems and the Enemy is saying you won’t make it, stand on God’s promises and declare, “Nevertheless.” Rise up in faith and claim what God has promised you. “The people who know their God shall be strong, and carry out great exploits” (Da 11:32 NKJV). God can show you how to exploit the circumstances for your good and His glory. But don’t expect everybody to be helpful. “When the Philistines heard…David had been anointed king of Israel, they mobilized all their forces to capture him.” You’ll have to fight to get to your destiny, and fight to hold it. And with each new battle you’ll have to turn to God for fresh instructions. “David asked the Lord, ‘Should I go out to fight the Philistines? Will you hand them over to me?’ The Lord replied… ‘Yes, go ahead. I will certainly hand them over to you” (2Sa 5:19 NLT). Today move forward knowing that God is with you.
Lessons From The Life Of David (1)
“All things work together for good to those who love God.” Ro 8:28 NKJV God said, “I have found David…a man after My own heart, who will do all My will” (Ac 13:22 NKJV). When God says that about someone, you’d be wise to observe that person’s life. David started out as a shepherd and ended up as king. The chances of that happening were zero. Shepherds were so low on the social totem pole they couldn’t testify in a court of law because their word wasn’t considered reliable. Yet David ended up writing the most widely read psalms of all time. Understand this: When you invite God into your life, He cancels the liabilities of your past and rewrites your future. But you must choose what God has chosen for you! There’s an interesting contrast between Paul and David. Paul lived his chapters of disobedience before he met Christ, then went on to live an exemplary life. David became king at thirty, and during his forty years in leadership experienced devastating failure, including adultery and murder. There are two important lessons here: (1) Don’t rush to judgment. It’s not over until God says it’s over! David’s story is a warning to the transgressor, a rebuke to the self-righteous, a verification of God’s justice that won’t allow you to escape your consequences, and a testimony to His love that will never let go of you. (2) God can bring good out of what seems like a bad situation. He can take every experience you’ve been through and make it work for good—either your own good or the good of others. Bottom line: He can make “all things work together for good.”
Choose Gratitude
“Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits.” Ps 103:2 He sat on the park bench so depressed-looking that a policeman tried to console him. “Something the matter?” “Yeah,” he replied. “A few months ago my grandfather left me $500,000 and some oil wells.” The policeman responded, “That doesn’t sound like something to be upset over.” “Yeah, but you haven’t heard the whole story. Last month my uncle left me $1,000,000.” The policeman shook his head. “I don’t get it. Why are you so unhappy?” He replied, “So far this month, nobody’s left me anything.” Seriously, he’s part of a group of people who are unhappy no matter what they have. The Psalmist shows us how to overcome an ungrateful attitude by cultivating a spirit of thanksgiving. “Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits.” Thinking and thanking go hand-in-hand. Memory is a catalyst for worship. An old hymn declares, “Count your blessings, name them one by one…see what God has done.” The Psalmist encourages us to do three things: First, think about what God has given us—His forgiveness, healing, protection, redemption, love, and compassion (See vv. 1-5). Second, think about what God has not given us—the punishment our sins deserve (See vv. 8-12). Third, think about what God is yet going to give us. “From everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear him” (v. 17 NIV). God accepts you when you trust in Christ’s performance, not your own. So each morning look in the mirror and say, “Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits.”
How Much Time Do You Have?
“My entire lifetime is just a moment.” Ps 39:5 NLT After examining his patient, the doctor told him, “I have some bad news for you, and some really bad news.” Shocked, the patient asked, “What’s the bad news?” The doctor said, “You have twenty-four hours to live.” The patient said, “Well, I guess it can’t get any worse, so what’s the really bad news?” The doctor replied, “The really bad news is that I should have called you yesterday.” Seriously, the Bible says, “Seventy years are given to us! Some even live to eighty…soon they disappear” (Ps 90:10 NLT). The average man lives into his mid-seventies and the average woman into her mid-eighties. So if you’re a man, take your age and deduct it from seventy-five. And if you’re a woman, take your age and deduct it from eighty-five. Whatever number of years you’re left with, multiply those by 365 and you’ll know how many “days” you have left. But don’t stop there. Take some sheets of paper and cut them up into little squares. Number each of them, and then put them in a box. That way you’ll know “[your] days are numbered” (Ps 39:4 NLT). Then each morning take a square out of the box, roll it up, and toss it into the trash can. That little exercise will remind you that your days are getting shorter and time’s running out. Whatever you plan to do for yourself, your family and friends, and the kingdom of God, you’ll have a new urgency in doing it. Poet Charles Thomas Studd wrote, “Only one life, ’twill soon be past; only what’s done for Christ will last.”
Which “Law” Are You Operating Under?
“The law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.” Ro 8:2 NKJV You say, “I fall so far short of God’s standards. Will there ever come a time when my old carnal nature will stop acting up, and trying to drag me down?” There’s bad news and there’s good news. The bad news is, just as the law of gravity is always in operation, so is “the law of sin” that your fleshly nature wants to respond to. The good news is, you can access a higher law and operate in it. It’s called “the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus,” and it overrides “the law of sin and death.” The law of gravity says that what goes up must come down. But when you’re in an airplane another law is in operation—the law of aerodynamics. It works like this: The plane moves at a certain speed, and the proper thrust enables it to climb out of gravity’s pull. That doesn’t mean the law of gravity is no longer the law of gravity. Getting the idea? You ask, “What is this law of the Spirit?” Good question. Here’s the answer. When you’re indwelt by the Holy Spirit and relying on His power rather than your own, which means being sensitive to His leading and obeying His commands, you’re no longer controlled by “the law of sin and death.” It’s no longer about trying harder, but leaning harder on God’s Spirit who lives within you and drawing from Him the strength to live victoriously.
Frees Us from Uncontrolled Thoughts
“Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what the nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires” (Romans 8:5 NIV).
There is a battle going on inside you between your old, sinful nature and your new nature that comes from Christ. If you want to win this battle, you’re going to have to change the way you think.
Satan gives you thoughts; they are temptation. And God gives you thoughts; they are inspiration. Which are you going to choose? Romans 8:6 says, “The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace” (NIV).
I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t choose life and peace over death. But the truth is, we have self-destructive thoughts all the time. So what do we do?
Here is how the Holy Spirit frees us from uncontrolled thoughts. It’s the principle of replacement: Whatever you want to change in your life, don’t resist it; replace it.
If you’re watching television and a show comes on that you know is bad for you to watch, change the channel to something better. If you want to quit smoking but you keep thinking about cigarettes, focus on something else. The Bible says you have to replace the old mindset with the new mindset.
When you start thinking about something positive instead of something negative, something good instead of something evil, the old will lose its appeal and won’t have its allure anymore.
Invite the Holy Spirit to have free access to your mind to help replace those uncontrollable thoughts.
Avoid Strife
“Where…strife is, there is…every evil work.” Jas 3:16 The apostle Paul writes: “Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand” (Php 2:2-4 TM). Strife wreaks havoc in relationships. It often stems from an inflated ego and leads to comparing, competing, and condemning. James points that out: “Where…strife is, there is…every evil work.” So be a strife-spotter! The moment it rears its ugly head—uproot it! “Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many” (Heb 12:15 NLT). If you want to walk in God’s blessing today, try to live in harmony with others. Is that always easy? No, but the sooner you learn to do it, the better things will go for you. When God prompts you to “turn the other cheek,” or “take the short end of the stick,” draw on His grace and do it. Pray: “Lord, give me Your wisdom in this situation.” He will. “The wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness” (Jas 3:17-18 NLT). Bottom line: If you want God’s blessing on your life—avoid strife.
Healthy Confrontation (2)
“A time to keep silence, and a time to speak.” Ecc 3:7 NKJV Confronting at a time when the person is most receptive takes wisdom. Wife, when your husband first comes home from work, give him space before you bombard him with the problems of the day. Husband, don’t wait until you arrive at the event to tell your wife you don’t like the outfit she’s wearing. Tell her when she can do something about it. And you should make every effort to confront a person when he or she is alone, just as Jesus commanded: “If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private” (Mt 18:15 NAS). Confronting someone in the presence of others can cause them to become defensive in order to save face. Your goal is reconciliation, not embarrassment. If you have something “heavy” to tell someone, it’s not a good idea to have the confrontation at their house or yours—select a neutral location. That way it will be easier for the person being confronted to leave the scene if he or she becomes belligerent. And there’s always the possibility that this could happen. Sometimes you have to temporarily lose people, to win them later. “He who rebukes a man will find more favor afterward than he who flatters with his tongue” (Pr 28:23 NKJV). Note the word “afterward.” If you don’t get the immediate response you desire, you can still win—especially if you pray and allow the Holy Spirit to work in a person’s heart. But you must be willing to take the risk and confront the situation in order to bring about the change you desire. If you don’t, things will remain the same—or get worse.
Trusting God Brings Joy And Peace
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him.” Ro 15:13 NIV Trusting God is so much simpler than not trusting Him. When you doubt God, His Word, and His promises, you’re left to your own devices and reasoning when it comes to working things out. And as a result you get stressed out. Take a moment and read the following three verses, then think carefully about what they mean: “But the message they heard was of no value to them, because those who heard did not combine it with faith. Now we who have believed enter that rest” (Heb 4:2-3 NIV). “He who has once entered [God’s] rest…has ceased from [the weariness and pain] of human labors” (Heb 4:10 AMP). “Come to Me, all you who labor and are…overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.]” (Mt 11:28 AMP). How are you supposed to approach God? In faith! The Bible says: “Without faith it is impossible to please and be satisfactory to Him. For whoever would come near to God must [necessarily] believe that… He is the rewarder of those who earnestly and diligently seek Him [out]” (Heb 11:6 AMP). That means when you come to God, you must do the believing. And when you do, you’ll receive His joy and peace. These two things are God’s will for you; they were bought and paid for at the cross. Christ’s work is already finished, and the only thing that remains to be accomplished is for you to believe. When you do that, God will respond and bless you every time!
Has God Given You A Vision?
“Write the vision and make it plain…that he may run who reads it.” Hab 2:2 NKJV When God gives you a vision for your life, write it down, keep it before you at all times, and run with it. You say, “But I see no way for it to come to pass.” The Bible says, “The vision is yet for an appointed time…wait for it; because it will surely come” (v. 3 NKJV). You may not know how to get from where you are right now to where the vision will ultimately take you—but God does. So ask Him to reveal the next step to you. Whether you’re in prison like Joseph, in a soup kitchen in the inner city, or at home taking care of small children, God will fulfill the vision He placed in your heart. The more you see yourself leading in the boardroom, launching your own business, serving in ministry, writing your first book, or helping others through your gifts, the sooner it will become a reality. Before a vision becomes clear, God gives us glimpses of it—like a picture developing from a soft hue into sharp resolution. So take your vision and run with it. Let it motivate you to perform to the best of your ability in your present position, while staying in communication with the One who knows and loves you best. Today pray: “Lord, I know that where I am right now, isn’t where You’re taking me. Give me glimpses of Your vision for my future, so that my understanding may grow in accordance with Your timing. Give me patience along the way, and faith to trust that You’re always working for my good. Amen.”
Not Out, But Through
“When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned.” Isa 43:2 NKJV Before God changes our circumstances, He often uses our circumstances to change us. Yes, He has promised to deliver us from our troubles, but not necessarily on our schedule or in the way we think. God wants to do more than just deliver us; He wants to develop us into the likeness of His Son and into the fullness of our God-given potential. Notice how often the word through is used in Scripture. To get to the Promised Land, Israel had to go through the Red Sea, through the wilderness, and through the Jordan River. Think about these two Scriptures: “As they pass through the Valley of Baca [brokenness, loss, grief, and weeping] they make it a spring…they go from strength to strength” (Ps 84:5-7 NKJV). “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned” (Isa 43:2 NKJV). God doesn’t work in minutes, hours, and days; He works in seasons. The refiner knows how long the ore must stay in the fire to produce gold. The potter knows how long the clay must stay on the wheel to become a thing of value, beauty, and usefulness. Trust God; He knows what He’s doing. Be patient; while God is working for you, He’s working in you. When you get through this experience, you’ll look back and thank Him for the things He has taught you.
Sharing Your Life With Someone
“A married man has to think about…how to please his wife.” 1Co 7:33 NLT When four-year-old Sarah attended her first wedding, she had lots of questions. At the reception her mom explained there were two cakes—a groom’s cake and a bride’s cake. “What’s the matter, Mom?” Sarah asked. “Haven’t they learned to share yet?” Seriously, the Bible says, “A married man has to think about his…wife…a married woman has to think about…her husband” (vv. 33-34 NLT). If you devote more time to your career than your relationship, there’s a good chance it won’t last. That’s why 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. Understand this: When you marry someone, you marry everything they are and everything they’ve been through. It’s a package deal! And if you ask God, He will give you the wisdom and grace to enable both you and your spouse to “grow in grace.” It may not happen right away. As Shakespeare said, “What wound did ever heal but by degrees?” It takes time for even a small cut to heal. But if you let Him, God will give you the oil of compassion and the wine of love to pour into your spouse’s wounds. Never become so available at work that you’re unavailable at home. Your first calling is to your family. Your priorities should start there, then spread to your vocation and other pursuits. In effect, Paul is saying, “I release those who are married from the level of consecration I expect from those who are single, so they’ll be able to spend time working on their relationship” (vv. 32-35 paraphrase). You say, “But I need to spend time with God.” You’re called to love the Lord—and your spouse!
You’ve Been Called By God
“I knew you…I sanctified you…I ordained you.” Jer 1:5 NKJV God told Jeremiah, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you…sanctified you [set you apart]…I ordained you a prophet to the nations.” Observe: (1) God knew you. The word knew means “to have intimate knowledge of.” When your delicate fingers were just a web, before your heartbeat registered on the monitor or the doctor could predict your gender, God knew all about you. “You…scheduled each day of my life before I began to breathe” (Ps 139:16 TLB). God knew what you were born to be, and provided everything you’d need to fulfill your life’s purpose. (2) God sanctified you [set you apart]. He fixed it so you wouldn’t fit in, and designed you so you couldn’t rest any place He didn’t want you to be. He intended you to wander and feel lost until you found Him. That’s why you’re uncomfortable in certain places and around certain people. It doesn’t matter how hard you try, you won’t fit in because God has set you apart for Himself. (3) God ordained you. Men may ordain, but only God can foreordain. Stop worrying about who does or doesn’t recognize your gifts. John Mason says, “Each person has been custom-made by God the Creator. Each of us has a unique and personal call on our lives…to be our own selves and not copies of other people.” God told Jeremiah, “Go wherever I send you and say whatever I tell you. And don’t be afraid of the people, for I will be with you” (Jer 1:7-8 NLT). So the word for you today is: You’ve been called by God.
When God Calls You
“I have called him…and he will succeed in his mission.” Isa 48:15 NIV God told Jeremiah, “Before you were born, I set you apart for a special work” (Jer 1:5 NCV). When God decides to use you, five things happen: First, there is a call. God asks common people to do uncommon things, like Peter getting out of a boat and walking on water. Second, there is fear. When God called Moses to stand before Pharaoh, he said, “I’m not a good enough speaker; use somebody else.” Third, there is reassurance. The thought of filling Moses’ shoes must have shaken Joshua to the core, so God told him, “As I was with Moses, so I will be with you” (Jos 1:5 NKJV). Fourth, there is a decision. Sometimes we say yes to God and sometimes we say no. When we say yes we live with joy; when we say no we forfeit that joy. But there’s always a decision. Fifth, there is a changed life. Those who say yes to God’s call don’t walk perfectly, not by a long shot. But because they say yes, they learn and grow even from their failures. Indeed, their failures often become part of their ability to minister to others. And those who say no to God are changed too; they become a little harder, a little more resistant to His calling, and a little more likely to say no next time. Is God calling you? Maybe it has to do with your work, or your relationships, or your money, or facing your biggest fear. God’s call will go to the core of who you are and what you do. Saying yes to Him is the best decision you’ll ever make.
Lessons From The Life Of David (4)
“So the three mighty men broke through.” 2Sa 23:16 NKJV David knew how to develop other leaders. He didn’t “use” people to get what he wanted. He recognized their talent, gave them opportunities to serve, then rewarded and honored them. And as a result they were willing to lay down their lives for him. In 2 Samuel 23 we read: “David said with longing, ‘Oh, that someone would give me a drink of the water from the well of Bethlehem’…So the three mighty men broke through the camp of the Philistines, drew water from the well…and brought it to David” (vv. 15-16 NKJV). It’s impossible to learn leadership without actually leading. After all, leadership is action. As leaders our natural tendency is to give others tasks to perform rather than leadership functions to fulfill. But if we don’t delegate leadership—with authority as well as accountability—our people will never gain the experience they need to lead well. If you’re a leader answer this question honestly: Are you providing your people with leadership experiences? “But what if they fail?” you ask. Count on it—they will! But if you’ve picked people with genuine leadership ability, they will learn from it. Dr. John Maxwell writes: “As I’ve grown older, I’ve come to think of myself as a lid lifter. That’s my main function as a team leader. If I can lift the leadership lids for the members of my team, then I’m doing my job. The more barriers I remove for my people, the more likely they are to rise up to their potential.” David developed leaders who became known as “mighty men,” and you must invest in others too.
Lessons From The Life Of David (2)
“Imitate those who through faith and patience inherit the promises.” Heb 6:12 NKJV Here are three lessons from David’s life: (1) God makes the choice. When Samuel the prophet came to David’s house to pick Israel’s next king, David wasn’t considered. But God chose him anyway—just like He chose Deborah to lead the nation in a male-dominated society. Stop trying to figure God out! And stop comparing yourself to others! We’d have rejected many of the people God used—which shows how little we know. (2) God designs the plan. “Being confident of this…that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it” (Php 1:6 NKJV). Who designs the plan? Who performs it? Who should your confidence be in? God! His plan for David involved years of ducking Saul’s spears, living in caves as a fugitive, and working with six hundred misfits who redefine the word “dysfunctional.” God trains you through the difficulties you experience so you can handle the assignment He has in mind for you. (3) God sets the schedule. “Imitate those who through faith and patience inherit the promises.” Patience means standing firm under pressure. The prize belongs to the one who’s committed for the long haul. David was anointed king in his teens, but he didn’t take the throne until he was thirty. So be patient. God’s doing a work of preparation in your life so you’ll be ready when your time comes. Yes, waiting is hard. But if you run before the starter fires the gun, you’ll be disqualified from the race. Just keep your eyes on the prize and don’t give up.
Put Your Heart And Soul Into It
“Whatever turns up, grab it and do it…heartily!” Ecc 9:10 TM Solomon writes: “Seize life!…Each day is God’s gift…Whatever turns up, grab it and do it…heartily! This is your last and only chance at it” (vv. 7-10 TM). Professor Howard Hendricks writes: “Recently I lost one of my best friends, a woman eighty-six years young. She was the most exciting lay-teacher I’ve ever been exposed to. The last time I saw her on planet earth was at one of those ‘Christian parties’ where we all sit on eggshells and try to look pious. In she walked, looked at me and said, ‘Well, Hendricks, I haven’t seen you for a long time. Tell me, what are the five best books you’ve read in the last year?’ (That’ll change the group dynamic in a hurry.) Her philosophy was, ‘Let’s not bore each other…let’s get into a discussion. And if we can’t find anything to discuss, then let’s get into an argument.’ She was eighty-three years old on her last trip to the Holy Land. She went with a group of NFL football players. And one of my most vivid memories is seeing her out in front yelling back to them, ‘Come on, men, get with it!’ Recently she died in her sleep at her daughter’s home. Her daughter told me that just before she died she’d written out her goals for the next ten years!” So whether you are nineteen or ninety-nine, the word for you today is: “Whatever turns up, grab it and do it…heartily.” In other words: Put your heart and soul into it.
Look For The Best In Others
“We have this treasure in earthen vessels.” 2Co 4:7 One of the worst arguments recorded in Scripture took place between one of the most successful ministry teams of all time—Paul and Barnabas. What was it about? John Mark. Barnabas wanted to take him on their next missionary journey and Paul didn’t. Why? Because Paul was upset with John Mark for wanting to take time off to be with his family. (Sometimes passionate, purpose-driven people don’t see things clearly!) But after consideration, Paul changed his mind and wrote: “Demas hath forsaken me, having loved this present world…Take Mark, and bring him with thee: for he is profitable to me for the ministry” (2Ti 4:10-11). There are three important lessons here: (1) Everyone deserves another chance. After all, that’s what God repeatedly does for you. Now, in extending grace you can get hurt and disappointed, but if you’re going to be Christlike it’s a risk you must take. (2) Not everyone has the same calling. The person you’re upset with may not be called to do what you’re called to do, or they may have been called to do it in a different way. Never make your personal preferences a condition for loving, accepting, and working with someone. (3) Look for the best in others, not the worst. The Bible says, “We have this treasure in earthen vessels.” That means everyone you deal with has “treasure,” but it comes in a flawed “earthen vessel.” It also means it’s your responsibility to look for that treasure and value it. Generally speaking, when people feel appreciated they try to rise and meet your expectations.
Find The “Key Log
“I thought about my ways.” Ps 119:59 NKJV One of the great keys to success in life is having the right approach. But to improve your approach you need to assess where you’re starting from. This may take some time. And depending on how self-aware you are, it may even be difficult. The key is to look at yourself objectively, to separate yourself from your attitude. Your goal isn’t to condemn yourself; it’s to see yourself clearly so you can make positive changes in the way you think. When professional loggers discover a logjam, they climb a large tree near the river so they can look over the problem and find the cause. What they’re looking for is the “key log” creating the jam. Once they remove that, the river takes care of the rest. An inexperienced person could spend hours, days, even weeks moving logs around without results. The point is you don’t necessarily need to change all your thinking—just the few items that keep you from having the right approach to life. Once you do, your life will begin to flow in the right direction. Here are some questions that may help you discover the “key log” that’s holding you back. How do you feel about yourself? When do you feel the most negative about yourself? What causes you the greatest problems when dealing with others? Insecurity? Resentment? Inferiority? What negative thoughts constantly control your mind? These are important questions, for “as he thinketh in his heart, so is he” (Pr 23:7). If you want to change your life for the better, ask God to make you aware of what’s impacting it for the worse.
The Mothers’ Honor Roll
“And a book of remembrance was written.” Mal 3:16 Is it possible that when we get to heaven there’ll be a “Mothers’ Honor Roll,” listing the names of all the faithful mothers who prayed day and night on behalf of their children and grandchildren? Maybe, but this much we do know: God honors mothers who honor God! He responded to the prayers of Hannah and gave her a son who would grow up to be a prophet and lead the nation of Israel. And Paul writes concerning Timothy: “I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also” (2Ti 1:5 NKJV). The Bible tells us God keeps records: “Then they that feared the Lord spake often one to another…the Lord hearkened…and a book of remembrance was written before him for them that feared the Lord, and…thought upon his name.” John writes: “I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works” (Rev 20:12). Susanna Wesley had nineteen children (nine died as infants), and she spent an hour every day praying for each one by name. Her prayers paid off. One of her sons, John, brought a spiritual awakening to England and founded the Methodist Church. Maybe there will be an honor roll for mothers in heaven, and maybe not. But one thing is sure—when mothers pray, God listens and lives are changed. So never stop praying for your kids, Mom.
Develop Your Child’s Potential
“The genuine faith that is in you…dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice.” 2Ti 1:5 NKJV It’s said Timothy became an apostle when he was seventeen. He was Paul’s spiritual son, and his designated successor. And it happened because of two women: his grandmother Lois and his mother Eunice. Interestingly, his father and grandfather are not mentioned. So as a single parent you can raise a winning child. According to a ten-year study conducted at Harvard Medical School, there are six factors related to the eventual intellectual capacity of a child: (1) The most critical period of a child’s mental development is between eight and eighteen months old. (2) The mother is usually the most important person in the child’s environment. (3) The amount of “live” language directed to the child between twelve and eighteen months is absolutely critical. (4) Children given free access to living areas of their homes progressed much faster than those whose movements are restricted. (5) The family is the most important educational delivery system. (6) The best parents are those who excel at three key functions: They are superb designers and organizers of their children’s environments; they permit their children to interrupt them for brief thirty-second episodes during which personal comfort and information are exchanged; finally, they are firm disciplinarians while simultaneously showing great affection for their children. In other words, they love their kids, talk to them, treat them with respect, expose them to interesting things, organize their time, discipline them fairly, and raise them in strong stable families. It’s a time-honored recipe for producing bright (and happy) children.
God Wants To Set You Free
There is a way that seems right…but its end is…death.” Pr 14:12 NKJV
Ever noticed how zoo keepers handle an injured animal? Even though the keeper is only interested in helping, the animal doesn’t understand because it is focused solely on the pain. As a result, it strikes out at the very one who’s trying to help. Is that what’s happening in your life right now? Perhaps people who call themselves Christians have hurt you. You didn’t expect them to be the ones inflicting the pain. You may have been hurt to the extent that you no longer trust anybody—not even God. You haven’t actually said, “Lord, I don’t trust You,” but your actions speak louder than your words. You avoid reading His Word to find an answer. You won’t pray, or allow anyone to pray for you. You try to bury yourself in your job. You move from one relationship to another. You try alcohol or mood-altering chemicals. You spend hours watching television and surfing the Internet, and some of the things you’re watching violate your conscience and leave you feeling worse. What’s the answer? (1) Turn to God. Give Him “all your worries and cares…for he cares about you” (1Pe 5:7 NLT). Give Him your pain, your failures, your hang-ups, and your challenges. (2) Forgive the person who hurt you. Obsessing over what they did and trying to make them pay just keeps you chained to them. But forgiveness breaks the chain and sets you free. In your own strength you may be able to do something to alleviate your pain. But God can destroy the root of the pain and cause you to walk victoriously into the future.