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What do you “see”? (1)
“Look up…and count the stars…That’s how many descendants you will have!” Ge 15:5 NLT
Vision is the God-given ability to see the invisible. Without it, “people…stumble all over themselves” (Pr 29:18 MSG). When God told Abraham he would be the father of many nations, he and Sarah were old and childless. Naturally speaking, it looked impossible. So God “took Abram outside and said…‘Look up…and count the stars…That’s how many descendants you will have!’” It wasn’t enough to hear what God said: Abraham needed to see it in his mind’s eye. And although the promise wasn’t fulfilled for twenty years, every night when Abraham looked up at the heavens, the stars were a constant reminder of God’s faithfulness. Woodrow Wilson said, “No man that does not see visions will ever realize any high hope or undertake any high enterprise.” To give birth to something, you must first conceive it by seeing it through the eyes of faith and burning the image on the canvas of your mind. Jesus said, “If your eye is clear, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness” (Mt 6:22-23 NAS). Legend has it, when Michelangelo looked at a chunk of marble the owner told him was worthless, Michelangelo said, “It’s priceless to me. There is an angel locked inside, and I must set it free.” What you “see” will change the direction of your life. Like a thermostat, it dictates how high you rise or how low you fall. And the good news is, no matter how dark things look on the outside, today God can give you a fresh vision and a new future.
Navigating life’s losses (4)
“A time to gain, and a time to lose.” Ecc 3:6 NKJV
What else do our children need from us when they’re grieving? (1) Our honesty. They need to know we’re hurting too. When they see you crying, but you tell them, “I’m all right,” they’re confused. They think either you’re not hurting, and tears don’t mean anything, or you’re not being real with them. They need to know the genuine you, so they can be real with you and trust you with their hurts. (2) Our awareness of their feelings without overprotecting them. For them, as for you, “There is a time to weep…mourn…lose” (vv. 4, 6 NKJV). God has made all these experiences “appropriate in its time” (v.11 NAS). Don’t inhibit or invalidate their sadness, anger, and depression. It’s part of their God-given humanness, and will help them become balanced, compassionate adults. (3) Sensitive listening. Kids learn and grow through loss when they have an open and understanding listener. Listen, then reflect their feelings. “Sounds like you’re angry. Want to talk about it?” Don’t analyze, ask! Listen with your eyes and ears. “Your words say you’re all right, but your eyes suggest you’re sad.” (4) Permission to express negative emotions. Anger and resentment aimed at doctors, the system, family members, you, even God is normal! Don’t say, “You shouldn’t say such things.” Instead say, “Sounds like a real, honest expression of pain and disappointment. Want to talk more about it?” Expression detoxifies negative emotion. (5) Inclusion in our grief rituals. Include them in family gatherings, funeral planning, and services, and they will find comfort in the validation, closure, and healing these times bring!
Navigating life’s losses (2)
“A time to be born, and a time to die.” Ecc 3:2
Researchers at the Colorado Institute of Grief offer us this helpful four-stage path to recovery. Stage one – Shock. Our initial response is one of denial and disbelief. “I can’t believe this is happening…it’s not real!” There is a numbing of our senses, a God-designed natural “anesthesia” that buffers the early blow and allows us time to gather our coping mechanisms. Stage two – Protest. We feel anger and resentment against God, yet we feel guilty for blaming Him. We may blame ourselves, the doctors, the patient, and question God’s love and faithfulness—even bargaining with Him. “If You will just do a miracle and bring them back, I will…” Stage three – Disorganization. Everything comes apart at the seams. The lifestyle we knew and loved unravels. The dreams we cherished evaporate. We feel hopeless, powerless, lost in a strange, empty universe. Secondary losses may loom: financial insecurity, social dislocation, depression, loss of concentration, etc. We’re convinced that life will never be normal again. We survive moment to moment, afraid to anticipate the road ahead. Stage four – Reorganization. Unrelenting grief gives way to waves of sadness varying in frequency and intensity. We begin to accept and accommodate our loss. The energy we expended on grief work becomes available again, enabling us to adjust to the demands and opportunities of our new lifestyle. Slowly we reemerge and take hold of the reins again. The process will take many months, and full recovery even years. But God promises it will come! There will be “a time to heal…build up…laugh…dance…gain!” (Ecc 3:3-4, 6 NKJV).
Are you being sifted?
“Satan has asked to sift…you as wheat. But I have prayed…that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” Lk 22:31-32 NIV
Jon Walker says, “When Jesus told Peter, ‘Satan has asked to sift…you as wheat’…it raises the question in our minds, Lord, did you have to say yes? A good sifting brings glory to God, such as when Job continued to praise his Maker when things seemed lost and even his wife was telling him to give up on God. It probes your weaknesses. Where you’re still thinking, ‘I can,’ a good, swift sift will push you to say, ‘I can’t, but God can.’ It allows God to scrape away the distractions that could hinder you from fulfilling His purpose in your life. Peter’s sifting…would scrape away all his stomp-and-snort bluster, revealing a heart that’s teachable and willing to welcome Cornelius and his Gentile clan into the family of God. Notice, Jesus didn’t say, ‘Get ready for a whirlwind of hurt, Peter. I know you’re going to let me down!’ Instead He pointed to the future. Peter would survive the sifting; he would return humbled, but stronger, and with purpose to strengthen his brothers and sisters. The Lord said yes to the sifting to transform Peter from a leader who serves to a servant who leads. And that’s a significant shift from the thinking of men to the thinking of God. You may have days when you wonder if God is letting Satan sift you. You can take a God-view of it, knowing He is always in control. And ‘greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world’ (1Jn 4:4).”
Obedience Training
“I delight to do Your will.” Ps 40:8 NKJV
Billy Graham’s wife, Ruth, wrote: “Tonight I sit on the porch, our old German Shepherd dog lying at my feet. Thunder rumbles in the distance. As the storm nears he tears into the front yard to meet it…furiously doing battle. As it passes he returns to the porch, convinced he has driven it away. He’s a German guard dog, carefully trained in search and rescue, attack and obedience. Search and rescue in these mountains can come in handy. I can’t imagine an occasion on which I’d give the order to attack. But a well-trained dog can sense hostility or spot a weapon (even what resembles a weapon), in which case it’s a wise person who freezes in his tracks. But it’s the obedience training that gives real joy. To stop, to sit, to lie down, to go away, to search, to stay, to heel. A disobedient dog is not only a headache, he can be a liability. Obedience makes a dog a joy. Is it less so with God and His children? There are some I know who’ve been trained in attack. We will not mention their names—you may know a few—but they’re skilled at it. Then there are those trained in search and rescue. (I put the Salvation Army in this group.) And there are those who’ve been trained in obedience. I think this more than anything else must give the Lord pleasure. Simple obedience; joyful, eager, unquestioning obedience. To be able to say with the Psalmist, ‘I delight to do Your will, O my God’ would be the height of training for the Christian. For this is what gives God the greatest pleasure.”
Break Your Alabaster Jar (3)
“She has done a beautiful thing to me.” Mk 14:6 NIV
Most of us are good actors, but it’s difficult to fake a reaction. And when the woman broke the alabaster jar, the reaction of the disciples is telling. “Why this waste?” They thought she was pouring her perfume down the drain by pouring it at Jesus’ feet. They called it a waste, but He called it “a beautiful thing.” Then He went on to say, “Wherever the gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her” (v. 9 NIV). Can you imagine what this one statement did for her self-image? It had probably been years since she’d heard a kind word or a compliment. Those words could be paraphrased, “You may not believe in yourself, but I believe in you.” No one can spot potential like Jesus. That’s because He’s the One who gave it to us in the first place. And that’s why God will never give up on you. It’s not in His nature (See Php 1:6). His “goodness and mercy will follow [you] all the days of [your] life” (Ps 23:6). All you have to do is turn around. This woman was desperate enough to crash the party, and Jesus responds to desperate people. How desperate are you? Desperate enough to make a move, make a change, make a sacrifice? Desperate enough to pray through the night? Read through the Bible? Reconcile the conflict? Plead with a friend who is a lost cause? Give your life savings to a kingdom cause? The path of least resistance won’t get you to where you need to be. But if you go out of your way for God, God will go out of His way for you.
Break Your Alabaster Jar (1)
“A woman who had lived a sinful life…brought an alabaster jar of perfume.” Lk 7:37 NIV
The Bible says, “A woman who had lived a sinful life…brought an alabaster jar of perfume, and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping…poured perfume on them” (vv. 37-38 NIV). This perfume was pure nard, a perennial herb that is harvested in the Himalayas. Half a litre of it! And the jar itself, made of translucent gemstones, was probably a family heirloom. It might even have been her dowry. Plain and simple, it was her most precious possession. How ironic, yet how appropriate that the perfume used in her profession as a prostitute would become the token of her profession of faith when she poured out every last drop at the feet of Jesus. Breaking that bottle was her way of breaking with the past. No more masking the stench of sin with the sweet scent of perfume. No more secrets. No more shame. She walked out of the dark shadow of sin into the light of the world. There comes a moment when you have to come clean with God. A moment when you need to unveil your secrets, struggles, and sins. A moment when you need to fall full weight on the grace of God. Why do we act as though our sin disqualifies us from the grace of God? That is the only thing that qualifies us! Anything else is a self-righteous attempt to earn God’s grace. You cannot trust God’s grace 99 percent. It’s all or nothing. When we try to save ourselves, we forfeit the salvation that comes through Jesus Christ alone, by grace through faith (See Eph 2:8-9).
Give God Your Best
“I insist on buying it, for I will not present burnt offerings to the Lord my God that have cost me nothing.” 2Sa 24:24 NLT
Instead of trusting God for victory over his enemies, David decided of his own volition to count the number of troops in his army to see how strong he was. God considered it “a slap in the face,” and a plague hit Israel that wiped out seventy thousand people. In order to stop the plague, David was told: “Build an altar to the Lord on the threshing floor of Araunah the Jebusite” (v.18 NLT). When Araunah realized what was happening, he offered his threshing floor and oxen to David free of charge. But David said: “‘No, I insist on buying it, for I will not present burnt offerings to the Lord my God that have cost me nothing.’ So David paid him fifty pieces of silver for the threshing floor and the oxen. David built an altar there to the Lord and sacrificed the burnt offerings and peace offerings. And the Lord answered his prayer…and the plague on Israel was stopped” (vv. 24-25 NLT). The old Anglo-Saxon word for worship is worth-ship, which is the act of ascribing worth or value to a person or object. What’s the point? It’s this: When it comes to serving God, if it doesn’t cost—it doesn’t count! God knows we can’t all give the same amount. But what He’s asking for isn’t equal giving, but equal sacrifice! The Bible says, “Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the best part of everything” (Pr 3:9 NLT). So whether you’re worshiping, serving, or giving, make sure you’re giving God your best.
Doodlebugs And Gossips
“The words of a talebearer are like tasty trifles.” Pr 18:8 NKJV
The doodlebug lives at the bottom of a little cone-shaped hole that he burrows in the sand. He gets down as low as possible so he’s always looking up at everything else. When the ant comes around and gets on the side of this carefully prepared cone, the doodlebug feels a few grains of sand slide down, which signals him that “food” is up there. At that point he begins to throw dirt on his victim. What he’s trying to do is drag the ant down to his level. And that’s what we do when we gossip. We throw dirt on others, hoping to bring them down to our level. It’s why Solomon warned: “The words of a talebearer are like tasty trifles, and they go down into the inmost body.” The ear craves gossip like a hungry stomach craves food. Solomon goes on to give this warning: “He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with one who flatters with his lips” (Pr 20:19 NKJV). So if you have gossipy lips or greedy ears, God says, “Don’t do it!” Here’s something you may not have considered: While you can never be known and judged by what others say about you, you can be known and judged by what you say about them. That’s why the apostle Paul admonished, “Do notreceive an accusation against an elder except from two or three witnesses” (1Ti 5:19 NKJV). And one more thought: A gossip must always have an accomplice to commit the crime. So the word for you today is: Don’t receive or repeat gossip.
Secrets Of Self-Control (6)
“Don’t give the Devil a chance.” Eph 4:27 GNT
Avoid the things that tempt you. Stay away from situations that weaken your self-control. If you do not want to be stung, stay away from bees. Plan in advance to avoid situations that you know are going to cause temptation in your life. Don’t keep candy in the cupboard if you are trying to diet. Don’t acquire credit cards if you are an impulse spender. Get rid of your access to pornography if you are struggling with it. If you are a teenager, the time to begin thinking about self-control is not when you’re in the back seat of a car with someone who turns you on. Question: What do you need to avoid? Or get rid of? Magazines? Books? DVDs? A relationship? The Bible says, “Bad company corrupts good character” (1Co 15:33 NIV). Avoid people and situations that tempt you. You may need to change your job because a relationship there is wrong and harmful to you. That’s a drastic measure, but you may need to do something that drastic in order to avoid whatever is tempting you at this particular time. If you have lived through years of repeated failure, then it’s time to get honest—and humble. It’s time to pray: “Lord, I’m not strong enough to resist this temptation by myself. Help me!” He will! “I patiently waited, Lord, for you to hear my prayer. You listened and pulled me from a lonely pit full of mud and mire. You let me stand on a rock with my feet firm…Many will see this, and they will honor and trust you, the Lord God” (Ps 40:1-3 CEV).
Secrets Of Self-Control (4)
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Php 4:13 NKJV
Start believing you can change. Your beliefs control your behavior. The way you think determines the way you feel. And when your feelings become strong enough, they determine the way you act. The person who says, “I can’t do it,” and the person who says, “I can do it,” are both right. Much of the time you set yourself up to be defeated by what you’re saying. Your words reinforce either your right or wrong belief system. Three times in First Peter, God reminds us to be clear minded and self-controlled. Why? Because a clear mind is essential to self-control. God gave us the power to change our habits when He gave us the power to choose our thoughts. Does Romans twelve verse two tell us to be transformed by working hard or by sheer willpower? No. What are we transformed by? The renewing of the mind. When your self-control is being tested, you need to fill your mind with the promises of God. Here’s one: “When you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it” (1Co 10:13 NIV). You must believe God when He says there’s “a way out” for you. Paul writes, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” That means you can change, and you can be different. Stop setting yourself up for failure by constantly criticizing yourself: “I’m no good. I simply have no control over my life.” Nagging doesn’t work—on yourself or on anyone else! Instead say, “Everything is possible for him who believes” (Mk 9:23 NIV). “And I believe.”
Secrets Of Self-Control (2)
“With the Lord’s help, [you] will stand.” Ro 14:4 NLT
Put your past behind you. “[This] one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining forward toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal” (Php 3:13 NIV). This Scripture exposes a misconception that will keep you from gaining self-control: Once a failure, always a failure! You may say, “Oh, I tried to quit my bad habit. In fact, I have tried over and over. I guess I’ll never be able to get control of this.” That is a misconception. Paul says, “We get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going” (2Co 4:9 TLB). Have you watched a baby learning to walk? They fall down a lot, but they don’t stay down. They keep on trying, and ultimately they succeed. How far do you think they’d get if they just gave up and said, “Some people were meant to be walkers, and some were not”? Failure in the past does not mean that you will never be able to change. But focusing on past failures, however, does guarantee their repetition. It is like driving a car while looking in the rearview mirror. You’re going to collide with what’s ahead of you. You have to put your past behind you. No one had more failures than Thomas Edison. Most of us would have given up, but not him. He once said, “Don’t call it a failure, call it an education! Now I know what doesn’t work!” When you realize sin doesn’t work, it’s a defining moment and your springboard to victory. A winner is simply someone who gets back up one more time than they fall down. So the word for you today is: “With the Lord’s help, [you] will stand.”
This Year Invest What God Has Given You
“Remember, each of us will stand personally before the Judgment Seat of God.” Ro 14:10 TLB
Judgment day will be characterized by two things: rewards and regrets! Jesus highlights this in the story of three servants who were given talents to invest on behalf of their master. The first two invested well and were rewarded, while the third one buried his talent and was judged accordingly. The first two considered their options, crunched the numbers, took the plunge, and were willing to risk failure. As a result their boss said, “Well done, good and faithful servant” (Mt 25:21 NKJV). Now, God doesn’t reward foolishness. So before you make a move, talk it over with Him (See Pr 3:5-6). The third servant, however, said, “I was afraid, and went and hid your talent in the ground” (Mt 25:25 NKJV). He made the most common and tragic mistake when it comes to giftedness: He failed to benefit his Master with his talent. Some invest their talents and give God credit, while others misuse theirs and give Him grief. Some honor Him with “fruit,” while others insult Him with excuses. And how does God feel about the latter? “Get rid of this ‘play-it-safe’ who won’t go out on a limb” (Mt 25:29 MSG). Fear is the opposite of faith, and “without faith it is impossible to please [God]” (Heb 11:6). So this year step out in faith; God won’t let you down. Take a risk; He won’t fail you. Even if you stumble on your way to success, He encourages you to envision the day when you’ll feel His hand on your shoulder and hear the words: “Well done, good and faithful servant!”
This Year Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone (1)
“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.” Isa 41:10 NLT
Two of our biggest fears are—failure and criticism. And they never completely go away. You can overcome them, but they’ll show up when you face your next challenge. It’s in accepting fear as part of life’s journey instead of running from it, that you learn to conquer it. Indeed, as you look back at what you’ve already overcome, you realize that most times failure doesn’t do permanent damage—you actually grow stronger through it. If you’re anxious today, God is saying to you, “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.” So trust Him, and get out of your comfort zone! An unknown poet wrote: “I used to have a comfort zone where I knew I couldn’t fail; the same four walls of busywork were really more like jail. I longed so much to do the things I’d never done before, but stayed inside my comfort zone and paced the same old floor. I said it didn’t matter that I wasn’t doing much; I said I didn’t care for things like dreams and goals and such. I claimed to be so busy with the things inside my zone, but deep inside I longed for something special of my own. I couldn’t let my life go by just watching others win; I held my breath and stepped outside and let the change begin. I took a step, and with new strength I’d never felt before, I kissed my comfort zone goodbye, then closed and locked the door. If you are in a comfort zone, afraid to venture out, remember that all winners were at one time filled with doubt.” The word for you today is: This year, get out of your comfort zone.
Rules Of Engagement
“A gentle response defuses anger.” Pr 15:1 TM
Even in the best of marriages arguments will arise from time to time. With two people of differing temperaments, tastes, and ways of thinking, how could it be otherwise? So here are a few rules of engagement: (1) Think before you speak. Ask yourself if fear, stress, or worry may have provoked your mate’s response. Is it bothering you right now because you are feeling insecure and unappreciated? Could you be misreading or exaggerating the problem? Take time to try and identify what’s really happening. (2) Ask for what you need. It’s okay to admit that some days you are needier than others. Dr. Gary Oliver says: “When a woman feels panicked every time her husband comes home late because her previous husband had an affair…it’s okay to say, ‘I know it’s irrational, but I’m having a panicky day.’ That kind of honesty strengthens a relationship.” (3) Never threaten. Threats just make your mate defensive and insecure. As a result, they can’t hear what you’re saying and nothing gets resolved. (4) Ditch the baggage from previous relationships. The Bible says, “Love…always looks for the best…never looks back” (1Co 13:4-7 TM). It’s wrong to make your mate keep “proving” themselves over and over again. Don’t assume that old relationship problems are destined to keep repeating themselves. They won’t if you’re communicating and growing. (5) Say something nice to your mate every day.Any time you think something good about your spouse, stop and tell them. And when they reciprocate, respond graciously to what they’re saying. Remember, sharp words can create wounds, but “a gentle response defuses anger.”
Keep your group healthy
“There is one who scatters, yet increases…and…one who withholds… but it leads to poverty.” Pr 11:24 NKJV
Not all poverty is financial; there is a spiritual poverty that comes from not reaching out to others. Pastor Allen White says, “Sometimes it makes sense to keep your group small, but the following reasons don’t count: (1) ‘We value closeness.’ Too much closeness can cause your group to become ingrown. The motto changes to ‘Us four and no more’ or ‘We seven going to heaven.’ What was once so great becomes the death of the group. Members move away, schedules conflict, the group begins to decline around the two-year mark, and it’s harder to recruit new members. There is too much history going on. (2) ‘Outsiders might upset our rhythm.’ People get comfortable with familiar patterns. They sit in the same place and make the same inside jokes, but a comfort zone can quickly become a rut. New people don’t ‘get’ the jokes, they don’t know the routine, and what’s worse, they sit in your spot! (3) ‘Confidentiality.’ It is paramount because ‘loose lips sink ships.’ When new members join, review the ground rules. The conversation might go like this: ‘Since several new folks have joined, let’s take a minute to review the ground rules. We value confidentiality, and anything said here needs to stay here.’ If they agree, you’re good to go. (4) ‘If we get too big, we’ll have to divide.’ When it comes to the ideal group size, eight to twelve seems to work well. But numbers aren’t nearly as important as what’s happening inside the group. When numbers go up, personal care sometimes goes down.” Bottom line: Keep your group healthy.
Navigating life’s losses (3)
“A time to gain, and a time to lose.” Ecc 3:6 NKJV
How can we help our children navigate life’s losses? (1) Don’t underestimate their capacity for grief. Children are often the “forgotten” grievers. Their pain is real and intense; recognize and validate it. (2) Don’t avoid talking about the loss when they’re present. Excluding them from adults in mourning denies them the opportunity for support, and increased understanding about their loss. Include them in the family’s collective grief experience. (3) Encourage them to share their feelings about the loss. Teach them that being “real” is more important than being “strong,” and confirm that their feelings matter. Very young children have limited understanding about the meaning, permanence, and irreversibility of death. They can only talk about it briefly and concretely. Older children understand its meaning and should be encouraged to talk about it. (4) Make allowance for each child’s personality. Our personality determines our grieving style. Introverted children may need their own space; extroverted ones may need to be verbal and sociable. Dependent children need strong adults around them; independent ones can handle a lot on their own. (5) Communicate realistically with them. Adults often use language that confuses children. “Your dad has gone home…fallen asleep…passed away…gone to his rest,” etc. Speaking of death as the end of this physical life is biblical, clarifies the significance of the loss, and allows children to ask questions that matter to them. Your children can handle loss, and they can understand that everlasting life is God’s great solution and one day we will join our loved ones in heaven (See Jn 14:2-3).
Navigating life’s losses (1)
“A time to gain, and a time to lose.” Ecc 3:6 NKJV
God’s Word neither ignores nor minimizes the painful realities of life. Inevitably, we and our loved ones will experience life’s losses: illness, aging, death, divorce, disability, loss of independence, unemployment, financial reversals, etc. Today’s culture prepares us for gain, but not for loss; to dance, but not to mourn (See Ecc 3:4). Major losses throw us into unchartered territory. So, we need to understand the dynamics of our loss in order to help us through it and back to living again. Life-changing loss begins with bereavement—the agony of feeling that something or someone indispensable to us has been ripped away, leaving us feeling robbed. Then comes grief—searing emotions of overwhelming sorrow that are often accompanied by anger, distress, confusion, and helplessness. Next, we move into the mourning stage—and begin to express our grief and loss. This is the “hard work” stage of tears, memories, and heartrending spasms of weeping that shake us to our very core. We feel guilt and remorse over what we have said or done or not said or done. And our heartache gives those around us opportunity to respond, offering the comfort and reassurance we need to begin healing. This is God’s protocol for healing broken hearts. At 120, the Israelites’ beloved leader died—leaving behind him a grief-stricken nation (See Dt 34). And God allowed them thirty days to mourn their loss and to comfort one another before resuming the business of life. So take the time you need to do the work of mourning your losses because Jesus said, “Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted” (Mt 5:4).
Show Grace, Because You’ll Need It Yourself!
“If a…relationship with God could come by rule-keeping…Christ died unnecessarily.” Gal 2:21 TM
While grace doesn’t give anyone a license to live as they please, the judgmentalism that comes from insisting that others live by our standards has caused untold damage. Chuck Swindoll writes: “Legalism spreads a paralyzing venom…blinds our eyes, dulls our edge and arouses pride in our heart…love is overshadowed by a mental clipboard with a long checklist requiring others to measure up…soon friendship is fractured by a judgmental attitude and a critical look. And before you conclude that you’re not guilty, observe your reaction when you meet another believer who doesn’t think, act, or dress the way you do. Even when you think you’re sophisticated enough to disguise your real feelings, they come out in the ‘stony stare’ and the ‘holier than thou’ attitude.” Jesus said, “Don’t judge others, and God won’t judge you. Don’t be hard on others, and God won’t be hard on you. Forgive others, and God will forgive you” (Lk 6:37 CEV). A judgmental Christian acts as though blowing someone else’s light out will cause their light to shine brighter. But it’s not so. Paul writes, “If a…relationship with God could come by rule-keeping…Christ died unnecessarily.” You say, “But what if someone is getting off track, or sinning intentionally?” The Bible says, “If another believer is overcome by sin…humbly help that person back onto the right path…be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself” (Gal 6:1 NLT). When you take it upon yourself to condemn others—you are denying them the same grace you may need before the day is over.
The Cure For Worry
“Offer up your prayers and requests to God.” Php 4:6 CEV
The Bible says, “With thankful hearts offer up your prayers and requests to God. Then…God will bless you with peace that no one can completely understand. And this peace will control the way you think and feel” (vv. 6-7 CEV). When you pray more, you worry less. That means you have a choice: Either pray about it or worry about it. In prayer you give the problem to God, therefore you experience more peace of mind. Does that mean you won’t worry about the problem at all? No. It means you’ll worry about it less. While your goal is to give it completely to God and not worry about it at all, you’ll only get there step by step. God’s not asking you to exist in a state of denial. “Don’t worry—be happy” fails to appreciate the seriousness of the concerns you have. God doesn’t expect you to suddenly stop caring. Instead He offers an alternative to the pointless and exhausting habit of worry: “Pray without ceasing” (1Th 5:17). Does that mean a thirty-second prayer will rid you of all anxiety? No. It means start your day with prayer, and continue praying off and on throughout the day. Pray as you drive. Pray at work. Pray before your lunch break. Pray when you get that difficult phone call. Pray when you’re disappointed by something. Pray when surprises come. Pray when you triumph. Pray in the midst of painful news. Pray without ceasing—literally. Your heavenly Father, being deeply touched by your struggles, loves it when you come to Him asking for help. He’s right there, ready to step in. Just invite Him to do it.
Break Your Alabaster Jar (2)
“More than a year’s wages.” Mk 14:5 NIV
It’s possible the alabaster jar of perfume represented every penny of this woman’s life savings. The value is evidenced by the fact that two gospel writers find it noteworthy enough to give us a written estimate: three hundred denarii—the equivalent of an entire year’s salary. Let’s get down to brass tacks. For most of us, the alabaster jar of perfume is money. It’s our nest egg. It’s our paycheck. It’s our retirement fund. And the question is this: Are you willing to give it all away? We’re not suggesting you should not pay your bills or plan for your future or take care of your family. But if God prompted you to give it all away, would you be willing to break your alabaster jar and pour it all at the feet of Jesus? During his lifetime, John Wesley gave away approximately thirty thousand pounds. Adjusted for inflation, that’s more than $1,764,705.88 in today’s dollars. Wesley made a covenant with God in 1731 to limit his income to twenty-eight pounds a year. But the first year he made only thirty pounds, so he gave just two pounds. The next year his income doubled, and because he managed to continue living on twenty-eight pounds, he gave away thirty-two pounds. He never had more than one hundred pounds in his possession because he was afraid of storing up earthly treasure. He believed God’s blessing should result in raising our standard of giving, not our standard of living. Even when his income rose to thousands of pounds, he lived simply and gave away all surplus money. He died with a few coins in his pocket, but a storehouse of treasure in heaven. Think about it!
Make Prayer A Priority
“We will give ourselves…to prayer and…the word.” Ac 6:4 NKJV
In Disciplines of a Godly Man, pastor and author R. Kent Hughes says: “Jay Sidlow Baxter once shared a page from his own personal diary with a group of pastors who had inquired about the discipline of prayer. He began telling how…he entered the ministry determined he would be a real man of prayer. However, it wasn’t long before his increasing responsibilities, administrative duties, and the subtle subterfuges of pastoral life began to crowd prayer out. Moreover, he began to get used to it, making excuses for himself. Then one morning it all came to a head as he stood over his work-strewn desk and looked at his watch. The voice of the Spirit was calling him to pray. At the same time another velvety voice was telling him to be practical and get his letters answered, and that he ought to face the fact that he wasn’t one of the ‘spiritual sort’—only a few people could be like that. ‘That last remark,’ says Baxter, ‘hurt like a dagger blade. I couldn’t bear to think it was true.’ He was horrified by his ability to rationalize away the very ground of his ministerial vitality and power.” Understand this: Minutes invested in prayer will give you a greater return thanhours spent in ceaseless activity. The New Testament apostles understood that. As the church grew bigger and they became busier, they made a life-changing decision: “We will give ourselves continually to prayer and…the word.” As a result the church grew and multiplied. So make prayer a priority!
Take Better Care Of Your Body
“Honor God with your body.” 1Co 6:20 NLT
Unless you get into better shape physically, you may go to heaven sooner than you planned. The Bible says, “Honor God with your body.” How do you do that? (1) Change your diet. Many of us eat for the wrong reasons—like stress, boredom, fatigue, anger, depression, and low self-esteem. Try to get to the root of your problem. Insufficient fruit, vegetables, and fiber, and too much fast food can wreak havoc with your health. Practice self-control. “Those who belong to Christ…have given up their old selfish feelings and…things they wanted to do” (Gal 5:24 NCV). (2) Start exercising. The secret is to start slowly. Take the stairs instead of the elevator, park your car and walk, play ball with your kids instead of watching TV. God designed your body to move, and that doesn’t mean strolling from your car to your desk every morning. Exercising three times a week for thirty minutes will reduce your blood pressure and stress, and boost your sense of well-being. Come on, get with it!(3) Go to bed earlier. Pastor Tony Jenkins consulted his doctor about his wife’s snoring. “Does it really bother you that much?” the doctor asked. “It’s not justme,” Jenkins replied. “It’s bothering the whole congregation!” Seriously, you require eight hours of shut-eye. You can probably get by on less, but do you want to just “get by”? The Psalmist said, “It is no use…to get up early and stay up late…The Lord gives sleep to those he loves” (Ps 127:2 NCV). So turn off the TV and the computer and turn in at a reasonable hour. The word for you today is: Take better care of your body!
Secrets Of Self-Control (7)
“Let the Spirit direct your lives.” Gal 5:16 GNT
Depend on Christ’s power to help you.“Let the Spirit direct your lives, and you will not satisfy the desires of the human nature.” The sequence in this Scripture is very important. “Let the Spirit direct your life”—that’s the first part—“and you will not satisfy the desires of the human nature.” Notice, it doesn’t say you won’t have those desires. Spirit-filled people still experience the desires of the flesh, it’s just that they won’t satisfy them. We usually get the sequence backwards. We say, “I’m not good enough to have God’s Spirit in my life. Once I get my act together, then I’m going to let the Holy Spirit control my life.” God doesn’t say, “Get your act together and then I will help you.” He says, “Let my Holy Spirit control you while you are still struggling with the problem. I will help you change.” The sequence makes all the difference. You wouldn’t say, “I’m going to get well first, then I’m going to go see the doctor.” That’s absurd! You need Christ in your life now! He has the power to help you change. You say, “But I enjoy doing what I do.” That’s because there are “pleasures of sin for a season” (Heb 11:25). None of us would sin if it immediately made us miserable. Don’t look for God to nullify the appeal of sin; ask Him for the power to overcome its appeal. “For God is at work within you, helping you want to obey him, and then helping you do what he wants” (Php 2:13 TLB). You’ll receive the desire and the power to do what’s right.
Secrets Of Self-Control (5)
“Share each other’s burdens.” Gal 6:2 NLT
Make yourself accountable to someone.Alcoholics Anonymous has a “buddy system” in which you are encouraged to call someone whenever you feel the pressure building to return to an old, destructive pattern. And it’s scriptural: “Share each other’s troubles” (v. 2 TLB). You may not like this step, but if you are fighting a losing battle you need it. Find someone who will check up on you, pray with you, and encourage you in areas where you want more self-control. “Two people can resist an attack that would defeat one person alone” (Ecc 4:12 GNT). Every church needs “buddy” relationships in which people are accountable to each other; relationships in which people encourage one another in the Lord. Having someone hold you accountable is tough, but it works. What should you look for in a “buddy”? First, they should be the same gender as you. You don’t need to place another temptation in your path by sharing personal problems with someone of the opposite sex. Second, you should look for someone you can depend on to follow through on this commitment—someone who is faithful. Third, look for someone who will keep your problem confidential. Don’t choose someone who is known to talk too much. Fourth, tell your buddy that he or she has permission to check up on you from time to time and ask, “How are you doing with your problem?” Knowing that someone will be asking about your problem is an additional incentive not to give in to temptation. That may be the extra push you need to get you moving on the road to victory and self-control.
Secrets Of Self-Control (3)
“The grace of God…teaches us to say ‘No.’” Tit 2:11-12 NIV
Talk back to your feelings. We put far too much emphasis on our feelings. We think everything has to feel good or it’s not worthwhile. We say things like, “I don’t feel like studying…I don’t feel like working…I don’t feel like reading my Bible.” Or, “I feel like having another drink…I feel like sleeping until noon.” Don’t give your feelings so much authority. Feelings are highly unreliable; if you allow them, they will control and manipulate you. God doesn’t want you to be controlled by your feelings; He wants you to master your moods. With Christ as the Master of your life, you can master your feelings. Talk back to them. God says He wants you to learn how to challenge your emotions. “The grace of God…teaches us to say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives” (vv. 11-12 NIV). God’s grace gives you the power to do what’s right. It gives you the ability to say no to that feeling, to that desire, to that impulse. Are you battling a weight problem? Before you ever walk into the kitchen and open the refrigerator door, you have already begun to talk to yourself about eating. If you are serious, you will have to challenge some of those subconscious attitudes about food. When you hear your mind saying, “I just have to have a snack or I’ll die,” you have to say, “No, I’m not going to die. In fact, I will be healthier if I don’t have a snack.” Bottom line: God’s supernatural power can help you to master your moods, thoughts, and desires.
Secrets Of Self-Control (1)
“A man’s temptation is due to the pull of his own inward desires.” Jas 1:14 PHPS
For the next few days let’s look at how to develop self-control. Here’s the first step:Accept responsibility for your lack of self-control. Admit your problem. “A man’s temptation is due to the pull of his own inward desires, which greatly attract him.” The main reason you do things—is because you like to! When you know something’s bad for you but you still do it, it’s because you want to. Sometimes we try to ignore the problem of self-control or deny it: “What problem? I don’t have a problem,” or “It’s just the way I am,” or “Everybody else is doing it.” Sometimes we blame others: “If I just had different parents,” or “The Devil made me do it.” As long as you waste your energy making excuses, you can’t make progress. James points out that we like to take the path of least resistance, and giving in to temptation is usually the easiest course. The starting point for developing self-control is to face what God has already said in His Word: “Everyone who sins is a slave to sin” (Jn 8:34 NIV). Do you want more self-control? Then admit you have a problem, and be specific about it: “I have this problem. This is where I need help.” You may have a problem with food, drink, drugs, words, your temper, money, exercise, sex, TV, clothes, time—all these areas need self-control. So today get down on your knees and talk to God about the problem, believing that with His help you’ll be able to solve it.
This Year Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone (2)
“Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid…[of] them!” Dt 31:6 NLT
Incredible though it may seem, when Israel encountered difficulties in the wilderness, they wanted to return to their old life of slavery in Egypt. The security of the known was less threatening to them than the challenges of the unknown. So the Lord said to them, not once, but twice, “Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid…[of] them…the Lord your God will…go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor [forsake] you.” Why did He say that? Because it’s in taking action that you overcome your fear! When you challenge your fears, you master them. When you wrestle with your problems, they lose their grip on you. When you dare to confront the things that scare you, you open the door to the future. A wise man once said, “Take the bull by the horns until you have him screaming for mercy.” Almost without exception every man and woman in the Bible whom God called to do great things felt inadequate, and told Him so. And how did God respond to them? “I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand” (Isa 41:10 NLT). Author John Mason writes: “The desire for safety stands against every great and virtuous dream. Security, many times, is the first step toward stagnation. Boldness in vision is the first, second, and third most important thing. If you dare nothing, you should expect nothing.” So whatever opportunity or obstacle you’re facing today, factor God in. With Him on your side, what you have is always greater than whatever you lack.
New Year Resolutions
“Forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead.” Php 3:13 NKJV
Be honest: How many of last year’s resolutions did you keep? They say, “Procrastination is the thief of time.” We keep promising ourselves we’ll do better. But “resolutions” only happen when you’re “resolute.” That means having a mind that’s made up. So here are four resolutions you need to make up your mind to keep this year: (1) Take time for what really matters. Get up earlier in order to read your Bible and pray before entering the day. Make more time for your family. Start exercising and eating right. Take better care of your body; it’s God’s temple (See 1Co 6:19). (2) Tackle one thing at a time. Taking on too many things at once dilutes your focus and makes it harder to stick with things. When you start too much, you finish too little. So start where you are and build on your successes by mastering and maintaining one thing at a time. (3) Start small. Don’t try to swallow the whole enchilada in one bite; baby steps are the name of the game. Talk in terms of what you will do instead of what you won’t. For example, instead of saying, “I’m not going to be so critical,” try saying, “Today I’m going to look for something good in everyone I meet” (See Php 4:8). (4) Record your progress or lack of it. You can’t manage what you can’t measure. By facing the truth you’ll see how far you’ve come, and what you still need to work on. The Bible says, “Throw yourself into your tasks so…everyone will see your progress” (1Ti 4:15 NLT).
Instead Of Worrying, Pray
“Don’t worry about anything, but pray about everything.” Php 4:6 CEV
One Bible teacher writes: “The pressures of our times have many of us caught in a web of the most acceptable, yet energy-draining sin in the Christian family: worry. Chances are good you woke up this morning, stepped out of bed, and before doing anything, strapped on your well-worn backpack of anxiety. You started the day not with a prayer on your mind, but loaded down by worry. What a dreadful habit! Jesus challenged His followers with the question, ‘Who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?’ (Mt 6:27 NAS). Worry solves nothing. It creates unrest and uneasiness, and if left unchecked it can churn our waves of anxiety into a perfect storm of emotions. Add a little imagination and creativity, and our worst fears come to life in Technicolor brilliance. The stress from worry drains our energy and preoccupies our minds, stripping us of our peace…We fret over big things and little things. Some of us have a laundry list of concerns that feed our addiction to worry. It’s a very unattractive addiction, yet we somehow manage to make a joke out of it. I’ve heard people say with a smile, ‘If I don’t have something to worry about, I get worried about not having something to worry about.’ Anxiety has become a favorite pastime we love to hate. And worse, we’re passing it on to our children. As they see the worry on our faces and hear it from our lips, we’re mentoring them in the art of anxiety.” So what’s the answer? “Don’t worry about anything, but pray about everything.”