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Who Are Your True Friends?
“There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Pr 18:24 NIV
Cicero said, “Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief.” The fact is, it’s impossible to have more than a few close friends, because true friendship takes time, attention, and commitment. “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (v. 24 NIV). The hallmarks of real friendship include these: (1) Trust. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote: “The glory of friendship is not in the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him.” (2) Giving and receiving. Sometimes one person will be the primary giver, and sometimes the other. But true friendships are always two-sided. (3) Sharing your lives. Helen Keller said: “My friends have made the story of my life. In a thousand ways they have turned my limitations into beautiful privileges and enabled me to walk serene and happy in the shadow cast by my deprivation.” (4) Mutual enjoyment. In a true friendship, you spend time together just for the joy of it. What you do isn’t necessarily of significance. Unfortunately, the busyness of life makes us forget what a joy this can be. (5) Respecting one another. How do you build respect? By not letting obstacles or circumstances become more important than the relationship. When the pressure is on, you continue to treat one another with patience and kindness. And when the relationship is struggling, you work to preserve it.
Never Stop Learning And Growing (1)
“Wisdom excels folly as light excels darkness.” Ecc 2:13 NKJV
The most important skill you can acquire is learning to learn. Gifted people can sometimes act like they know it all, which makes it hard for them to keep growing. Teachability isn’t so much about competence and mental capacity as it is about attitude; it’s an innate hunger to grow. It’s a willingness to learn, unlearn, and relearn. The famous football coach John Wooden said, “It’s what you learn after you know it all that counts.” Only as you remain teachable will you keep growing and continue to make an impact on the world around you. Lifelong learning is an ongoing daily pursuit. The Roman scholar Cato the Elder started studying Greek at eighty years old. When asked why he was tackling such a difficult task at his age, he replied, “It’s the earliest age I have left.” Unlike Cato, many of us regard learning as an event instead of a lifelong process. It’s estimated that only one-third of adults read an entire book after graduating from school. Why? Because they view education as a period in life, not a way of life. Science confirms that while your physical body may atrophy, your mind retains much of its capacity for continued growth. Every stage of life presents lessons to be learned. You can choose to be teachable and keep on learning, or you can close your mind and stop growing. Try this simple experiment for a week; ask others for their advice…deliberately withhold the advice you would normally give…and at the end of each day write down what you have learned by being attentive. You will be amazed!
Treasure Your Children
“Children are a blessing and a gift from the Lord.” Ps 127:3 CEV
A Christian psychologist writes: “Several months ago I talked to a man who described one of the most painful experiences of his life. When he was seventeen, he was one of the stars on his high school football team. But his father, a very successful man in the city, was always too busy to come and see him play. Quickly the final game of the season came around, which happened to be the state championship. The boy was desperate to have his dad there. The night of the big game he was on the field warming up when he looked into the stadium just in time to see his father arrive with two other men, each wearing a business suit. They stood talking together for a moment or two, and then left. The man who told me this story is now fifty-eight years of age, and yet he had tears streaming down his cheeks as he relived that moment long ago. It’s been forty years since that night, and yet the rejection and pain are as vivid as ever. I was struck again by the awesome influence a father has in the lives of his children. When he is uninvolved, when he doesn’t show love or care for them, it creates a vacuum that reverberates for decades. My friend’s father died not long ago. As he stood by his dad’s body in the mortuary, he said, ‘Dad, I never really knew you. We could have shared so much love together—but you never had time for me.’” Mom, Dad, your children are a “gift” from God. Treasure and enjoy them.
Hear God’s Voice
“He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says.” Rev 2:11 NKJV
You can read the same Scripture on different occasions, and it will speak to you in totally different ways. The Greek philosopher Heraclitus is attributed with saying, “You never step into the same river twice.” And you never read the same Bible verse the same way twice. That is a testament to its heavenly Author. And His illumination is based on His intimate and unlimited knowledge of your circumstances, your desires, your fears, your past, your personality, and your destiny. But you must take time to listen and cultivate your sensitivity to what He is saying. The story is told of a music trainer hired to work with opera singers who could not hit certain notes even though they fell within their vocal range. It was a musical mystery. The trainer did extensive testing on their vocal cords, but he couldn’t find any reason why they couldn’t hit those notes. Then, on a whim, he tested their hearing. And what he discovered was that these opera singers could not sing a note they could not hear. The problem wasn’t singing. The problem was hearing. “He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says.” Until you hear the voice of God, you won’t be able to sing His song. Why? Because you’re out of tune. That’s how we get trapped in sinful lifestyles and negative cycles and destructive patterns. But when you open up the Bible and truly hear the voice of God—His loving voice, His affirming voice, His graceful voice, His convicting voice, His authoritative voice, His powerful voice—your life begins to harmonize with the Holy Spirit.
Insecurity In Leadership
“They loved human praise more than the praise of God.” - Jn 12:43 NLT
The Bible says: “Many people did believe in him, however, including some of the Jewish leaders. But they wouldn’t admit it for fear that the Pharisees would expel them from the synagogue. For they loved human praise more than the praise of God” (vv. 42-43 NLT). How secure are you as a leader? When someone else has a great idea, do you support it or suppress it? Do you celebrate other people’s successes, or feel threatened by them? If your answers are that you suppress and feel threatened, you have a problem with insecurity and you need to deal with it in order to fully succeed in what God has called you to do. Observe: (1) Insecure leaders create insecurity in others. The old saying goes, “You cannot give what you do not have.” Likewise, without security, you cannot make others feel secure. And to be an effective leader, the kind that others want to follow, you need to make those who follow you feel good about themselves. (2) Insecure leaders take more from people than they give. They are on a constant quest for recognition, validation, and love. Because of that, their attention is on finding security and not imparting it to others. They are mostly takers not givers, and takers don’t make good leaders. (3) Insecure leaders continually limit their best people. They hoard power. In fact, the better their followers are, the more threatened the leaders feel—and the harder they work to limit their followers’ success and recognition. If these things describe you, read this: “Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other” (Ro 12:10 NLT).
“Just As I Am”
“By the grace of God I am what I am.” 1Co 15:10 NIV
There is a tale about a boy who comes home and doesn’t know his mom is visiting with their pastor. He carries a dead rat in his hand. “Mom, you’ll never guess what. There was a rat running around in the garage. I saw it, threw a stone, and hit it. It just lay there, so I went over and stomped on it. Then I picked it up and hurled it against the wall.” Then he sees the pastor, and if his mom’s looks could kill, he knew that he would be one dead kid. So, he holds the rat up and adds in a pious voice, “And then the dear Lord called him home.” That’s called “God talk.” The old hymn “Just as I Am, Without One Plea” is about taking off the mask and knowing that God loves you in spite of your problems. If there was a true “just as I am” church where people could bring their baggage and brokenness, if there was a group where everyone was loved and no one faked it, we couldn’t make enough room for them inside the building. Paul acknowledged that sometimes he acted like Dr. Jekyll, other times like Mr. Hyde. He talked of the times when he wanted to do good but evil took over. But he refused to throw in the towel because he realized he was a work in progress. “I…do not even deserve to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect” (vv. 9-10 NIV).
Listen More Carefully
“Hear Me, everyone, and understand.” Mk 7:14 NKJV
Jesus said, “Hear Me, everyone, and understand.” He spoke life-changing words, but He understood that preoccupied minds don’t always listen too well. Are you a good listener? (1) If you’re a leader, do you listen to your followers? The kind of leaders people want to follow do more than conduct business when they interact with you; they take the time to get a feel for who you are as a person. Philip Stanhope, the earl of Chesterfield, believed, “Many a man would rather you heard his story than granted his request.” If you’re accustomed to listening only to the facts and not the person who expresses them, change your focus—really listen. (2) If you’re in business, do you listen to your customers? A Cherokee saying states, “Listen to the whispers and you won’t have to hear the screams.” Never get so caught up in your own ideas and products that you don’t hear your customers’ concerns, complaints, and suggestions. In his book, Business @ the Speed of Thought, former Microsoft CEO Bill Gates said, “Unhappy customers are always a concern. They’re also your greatest opportunity.” That’s why you should make it a priority to keep in contact with the people you’re serving. (3) If you’re committed to growth, are you listening to your mentors? You will never become so advanced or experienced that you can afford to be without mentors. If you don’t have some, go out and find them. If you can’t get some, begin by reading the right books, starting with your Bible. If you’re not following in the footsteps of someone wiser, there is a good chance you’re not on the right path.
A Relationship Problem? Take Action!
“To whom much is given, from him much will be required.” Lk 12:48 NKJV
One author writes: “It took me half my life to discover the great power of choices and chances. Good relationships are God’s gift to you; what you do with them is your response to Him. Too often we drape our passivity, or lack of courage, or disregard for our relationships in the frayed tapestry of fate. We weave excuses and give alibis to our guilty hearts, which failed to alter circumstances. We then dismiss our responsibility like a cheap attempt at religious absolution, living in denial that things could have been better in our relationships had we taken action sooner. The worst part of it is that many foolishly charge God and hold Him liable for relationships they themselves could have changed. God’s grace gives us opportunities, each relationship being a gift to be unwrapped and enjoyed. We must seize each precious moment as an adventure. If we are aware of the potential of each relationship, our hearts will be penetrated by the urgency to make each encounter the very best. You had a chance not to marry [him or] her, or to make that call, or to be the first to apologize, or to embrace your heart’s desire. The choices are yours. So, you must say every day, ‘I’ll take my chances, activate my choices, go through my changes, and make my decisions.’ And when the day is done, you will say to yourself, ‘It was my life and my relationships, and I am responsible for both.’” Jesus said, “For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required.” Do you have a relationship problem? Take action!
Grace In Marriage
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2Co 12:9 NIV
Who in the Bible would you say had the best marriage? Adam and Eve started in Paradise, and it all went downhill from there. Abraham lied and said his wife, Sarah, was his sister, then impregnated her servant, Hagar. Isaac and Rebekah spent much of their marriage battling because he favored Esau and she favored Jacob. Jacob had children by two different wives, and the wives’ servants. All we know of Moses’ wife is they had an argument over circumcising their son and she called Moses a “bridegroom of blood” (Ex 4:26 NIV). David was a disaster as a husband, and Solomon was worse. When Job’s life got hard, his wife told him, “Curse God and die!” (Job 2:9 NIV). In fairy tales, life is a difficult adventure until you get married—then you live happily ever after. But nowhere in the Bible does a couple get married and then live happily ever after. Marriage doesn’t save anyone, only Jesus does. Yet how often in churches do couples sit in silent agony? They have an image of spiritual success to project, but they don’t enjoy intimacy. Or there is abuse going on. Or their young daughter is pregnant, and they have no idea what to do. Or one of them is a closet alcoholic. Or they’re facing bankruptcy. Frequently people who need help the most receive it the least, because they would have to step down from their pedestal. But what if real people could be as truthful as the Bible about marriage? In Scripture, marriage is a place where we learn, receive God’s grace, and grow together in love.
Sensing And Seeing God
“But God has revealed them to us through His Spirit.” 1Co 2:10 NKJV
The Bible says, “‘Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.’ But God has revealed them to us through His Spirit” (vv. 9-10 NKJV). The Holy Spirit compensates for our sensory limits by enabling us to conceive things we cannot perceive with our five senses. Think of Him as a sixth sense. That sense must be cultivated, matured, and fine-tuned. And that can only happen when we spend time meditating in the Scriptures and fellowshipping with God in prayer. Until we are awakened by the Holy Spirit, we are unaware of our need for God, of the spiritual warfare that is being waged all around us, and of what God is doing all around us. One night Jacob had a dream in which God appeared to him and said, “I am with you and will keep you wherever you go” (Ge 28:15 NKJV). When he awakened the next morning, Jacob said, “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I did not know it…This is none other than the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven!” (Ge 28:16-17 NKJV). Jacob went to sleep and woke up in the same place, but he woke up a different person. After his wake-up call, Jacob saw God everyplace he looked. Today ask God for a spiritual epiphany. Pray, “Lord, show me what you want me to see, teach me what you want me to know, lead me step-by-step in the path of your perfect will.” That’s a prayer God will answer!
Stop And Ask For Directions
“The Spirit of truth…will lead you…and …tell you what is to come. Jn 16:13 NCV
Making decisions without seeking God’s guidance is like trying to fly without radar and a compass. You can do what makes sense based on your past knowledge and experience, but what “looks right” can end up destroying what’s most important to you. The Bible says even the most profound human thinking is foolish to God (See 1Co 1:18-20). He alone knows the way, and He wants to go ahead of you. It’s a mistake to assume that every opportunity that comes along is from God. Paul says, “Satan changes himself to look like an angel of light” (2 Co 11:14 NCV). And while his invitations are packaged to look like he has your best interests at heart, his way invariably leads to ruin (See Jn 8:44). God’s Word was designed as “a lamp for [your] feet and a light for [your] path” (Ps 119:105 NCV) to guide you in the ways of righteousness. That’s why it can be fatal to pursue a path that seems right to you without first consulting Him. Jesus said, “When the Spirit of truth comes, he will lead you into all truth. He will not speak his own words, but…only what he hears, and he will tell you what is to come” (Jn 16:13 NCV). The truth is that most of us don’t naturally seek God. It’s only as His Spirit speaks to our hearts that we start desiring His will. Take time to seek the Holy Spirit’s direction. Trust Him. He understands the ramifications of your choices. He will show you “the big picture” and help you stay on the right road.
Growing Through Criticism
“If you accept correction, you will be honored.” Pr 13:18 NLT
Solomon said, “If you accept correction, you will be honored.” Charlie Shedd gives us ten ways to grow through criticism: (1) Criticism is often a compliment. The barbs in daily life strike only those who raise their heads above ground level. Jesus said, “Count yourself blessed every time someone cuts you down…it means that the truth is too close for comfort and that that person is uncomfortable” (Lk 6:22 MSG). (2) Accept that you have faults which are open to censure. Stay humble, and criticism won’t rattle you. (3) “The words of the godly save lives” (Pr 12:6 NLT). Invite criticism from friends; then when it comes from your enemies, you will be broken in. (4) Let criticism make you better. When you burn with anger, you destroy the passport to your own improvement. “When you do right and suffer for it…take it patiently” (1Pe 2:20 RSV). (5) Some criticism should be ignored, especially if it stems from false motives. Never give unhappy people the key to your happiness. (6) Keep it in perspective. Everybody hasn’t heard. Most people don’t care. One bad word doesn’t cancel the good in you. (7) Let criticism make you kinder. Remind yourself that you have criticized others too. Is this a boomerang that started in your own heart? (8) Pray for your critics. It will improve them and neutralize your bitterness. Hate destroys your health and steals your happiness. (9) Check with the Master Critic. What does God say? How do things look deep in your soul? (10) When you have checked to make sure you’re right, move ahead. In quiet confidence finish what you started, because God’s promises are to those who endure (See Heb 6:12).
Don’t Be Afraid Of Getting Old (1)
“My chosen ones will long enjoy the work of their hands.” Isa 65:22 NIV
We live in a fickle society where a few wrinkles can devastate your self-worth. But you don’t have to be a victim of that value system. “As the days of a tree, so will be the days of my people; my chosen ones will long enjoy the work of their hands” (v. 22 NIV). Someone said, “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter!” So: (1) Build a strong relationship with God. Spend time talking with Him and reading His Word. “Store my commands in your heart. If you do this, you will live many years, and your life will be satisfying” (Pr 3:1-2 NLT). (2) Come to grips with the reality of aging. Face it; you have been aging from the moment you were conceived. In fact, on the day of your birth, you were already nine months old. Therefore, fretting about getting older is as fruitless as worrying about the sun going down each day. Instead of worrying about the length of your life, maximize every day of it. Each morning look in the mirror and announce, “This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it” (See Ps 118:24). (3) Always have a goal. It doesn’t have to be something big in the eyes of the world, just something to look forward to doing with your hands and your mind. Eleanor Roosevelt said, “I could not at any age be content to take my place in a corner by the fireside and simply look on.” Read, grow, contribute, stay involved, live until your last breath!
Are You Dealing With Relationship Problems?
“The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again.” Pr 24:16 NLT
When it comes to handling relationships, we all have our pluses and minuses, strengths and weaknesses. So to survive and flourish in a relationship, we must learn to persevere. Even when we have done the best we can to lessen our potential for failure, we must still be ready for it. If we stay mired in self-defeat, guilt, and shame over missed chances and incorrect choices in one particular relationship, we will never encounter the freedom to sustain our other relationships. One pastor says: “To counter that, I allow myself a 10 percent ratio for failure in a relationship to work out the way I thought it would.” That’s good advice! So with that in mind, promise yourself that no matter what circumstances occur, or which relationships fail miserably, you will survive. You will arise, learn from them, draw closer to God, and if nothing else, thank Him for the blessings that still remain in your life. And when you consider them, you will notice many! When you think about the long list of gifts that remain in your life even in the middle of difficulties, losses, and frustrations, you’re better able to see the big picture and not just the current trouble in front of your eyes. Gratitude is a sure remedy for self-pity and despair. Thanksgiving lifts you back to a position of seeing your relationships and life more clearly. Question: Do you really want this relationship to work? If so, commit to praying for the other person, loving them unconditionally, and investing in them. When you do that, trust God to do the rest!
Angels
“He will command his angels…to guard you in all your ways.” Ps 91:11 NIV
In Scripture there are over three hundred references to angels, and they’re described in two words: many and mighty. But it took only one angel to shut the mouths of lions for Daniel and bring Peter out of prison the night before he was due to be executed. And do you remember Elisha’s servant? When an enemy army surrounded the city of Dothan, Elisha asked God to open his servant’s eyes: “And the Lord opened the eyes of the young man; and he saw: and, behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire round about Elisha” (2Ki 6:17). If God opened your eyes today, what would you see? Angels escorting your children to school? Protecting you from drunk drivers? Guiding the hand of the surgeon? Guarding you while you sleep? One Bible teacher says, “If you’re a believer, expect powerful angels to accompany you in your life’s experience.” Does everybody have an angel looking out for them? No, the Bible says, “All angels [are] ministering spirits sent to serve those who will inherit salvation” (Heb 1:14 NIV). When you reject Jesus, you forfeit the ultimate security, but when you accept Him as Lord and Savior, you get around-the-clock protection because “the angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him” (Ps 34:7 NIV). Note, your angel doesn’t just wave as he flies past; he pitches his tent, lingers, and keeps vigilance. You can rest secure beneath the shadow of his wings—if that doesn’t lower your anxiety level, nothing will! The fact is, some of the wealthiest people on the planet don’t have it that good! How blessed we are.
Never Stop Learning And Growing (2)
“Wisdom is far more valuable than rubies. Nothing you desire can compare with it.” Pr 8:11 NLT
To keep learning and growing, you must recognize these: (1) Successful people view learning differently than unsuccessful people. Joshua learned from Moses. Timothy learned from Paul. Who have you chosen to learn from? Author Sydney J. Harris wrote: “A winner knows how much he still has to learn, even when he is considered an expert by others. A loser wants to be considered an expert by others before he has learned enough to know how little he knows.” It’s all a matter of attitude. It’s truly remarkable how much a person has to learn before he or she realizes how little they know. (2) Nothing is interesting if you’re not interested. In Quality Is Free, Philip B. Crosby writes: “There is a theory of human behavior that says people subconsciously retard their own intellectual growth. They come to rely on clichés and habits. Once they reach the age of…personal comfort with the world, they stop learning and their mind runs on idle for the rest of their days. They may progress organizationally, they may be ambitious and eager, and they may even work night and day. But they learn no more.” The Bible says, “Jesus increased in wisdom and stature” (Lk 2:52). He didn’t just grow physically; He grew spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. It’s a tragedy when you let yourself get into a rut and never climb out; you miss out on the best that God has to offer. By contrast, teachable people are completely engaged in life. They are enthusiastic about things. They’re interested in discovering, discussing, applying, and increasing. So, never stop learning and growing!
Heed Your Own Advice
“My son, pay attention to my wisdom.” Pr 5:1 NLT
Solomon told his son: “Pay attention to my wisdom…the lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil. But in the end she is as bitter as poison, as dangerous as a double-edged sword…Stay away from her! Don’t go near the door of her house! If you do, you will lose your honor and will lose to merciless people all you have achieved. Strangers will consume your wealth, and someone else will enjoy the fruit of your labor…You will say…‘If only I had not ignored all the warnings…now I must face public disgrace’” (vv. 1, 3-4, 8-10, 12, 14 NLT). It’s always easier to dispense good advice than to follow it. Solomon’s life proves it. He tells us repeatedly and with great conviction that only fools fall into adultery. Yet he failed to heed his own advice and God’s explicit warning about taking too “many wives, or his heart will be led astray” (Dt 17:17 NIV). Solomon married seven hundred women. And what was the result? “His wives turned his heart after other gods; and his heart was not loyal to the Lord” (1Ki 11:4 NKJV). Here is an interesting question: Was the reason Solomon had so much to say about this particular subject because it represented an area of struggle and vulnerability in his own life? Sometimes leaders do that; they speak out against areas of weakness they see in their own lives. One thing is certain; if Solomon had taken the advice he gave his son, his life story would have been very different. So, the word for you today is—heed your own advice.
Give Your Worries To God
“The peace of God…will guard your hearts and minds.” Php 4:7 NIV
When you feel anxious and afraid, here are two things you should do: (1) Find a “faith friend.” When anxiety grabs your mind, one of the most powerful ways to break the worry spiral is to disclose it to a “faith friend.” When Israel went out to occupy the promised land, here is what God said to them: “Is anyone afraid or fainthearted? Let him go home so that his fellow soldiers will not become disheartened too” (Dt 20:8 NIV). Pessimism, fright, and discouragement are contagious. And so is courage! (2) Take action and face your fear. Sermons about how God will take care of you aren’t in and of themselves sufficient to remove anxiety from your life. You must do certain things, like stepping out in trust. The way to get God’s peace from your head to the rest of your body is to trust Him to the point where you can confront your fears head-on. So, with that in mind, (a) meditate on passages like Psalm 23; imagine yourself being shepherded by the Lord through green pastures and led beside still waters, (b) talk to your “faith friend” before worry gets a foothold in your mind, (c) use a “breath prayer” such as, “God, I’m casting all my cares on you,” (d) exercise; physical exercise is one of the best ways to stop excess adrenaline from building up, (e) identify your fear and take even one small step toward confronting it, and (f) get sufficient rest. David said, “In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety” (Ps 4:8 NIV). Today, give your worries to God!
“Hold Fast”
“Let us hold fast…without wavering…He who promised is faithful.” Heb 10:23 NKJV
You will notice that during the creation process, God counts days based on the previous nights. The Bible doesn’t say, “The morning and evening were the first day.” No, it says, “God called…the evening and the morning the first day” (Ge 1:5). That means God specializes in bringing light out of darkness—you just have to get through one to get to the other! God told Moses that the angel of death would come at night, and wherever he saw the blood of the lamb on the doorposts, the inhabitants of that house would be saved (See Ex 12:12-13). Exodus states that God “sent a…wind that blew all night until there was dry land…and the Israelites walked through” (Ex 14:21-22 CEV). The psalmist wrote, “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning” (Ps 30:5 NKJV). The dawn is all the more brilliant because of the darkness that preceded it, just as your progress is all the more rewarding when set against a backdrop of pain, gain, and breakthrough. Great mornings come by getting through rough nights. When you see somebody who is having a great day, chances are you’re looking at somebody who has been through a long night. When you hear them shouting the victory, it may be because they have spent the night praying and weeping before God. The Bible says, “Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise” (Heb 10:23 NLT). Trusting God is more than just wishful thinking. It’s knowing that if He said it, He will do it. It’s realizing He doesn’t just control creation, He controls your circumstances. So, “hold fast.”
God Is Good—All The Time!
“See how good the Lord is. Happy is the person who trusts him.” Ps 34:8 NCV
What you believe about God is crucial to the quality of your life, especially in difficult times. So, starting today, tell yourself, “God is good—all the time,” and keep saying it until it gets down into your spirit. What does it mean to be “good?” It means living up to the best and highest one knows. And since God always knows what’s best and highest, His goodness is beyond question. If God is good—genuinely, practically, consistently good—then your cup of well-being, security, peace, confidence, and joy should be overflowing! A good God can’t break His promise, abandon His children, or fail to love and provide for them. In every trial and circumstance, you can be sure He will treat you in the best possible way. When things seem to be falling apart, when you stumble confused in the dark, it’s hard to see God’s goodness or feel that things will get better. That’s when you must draw on the faith God has deposited in you (See Ro 12:3), and by an act of your will, trust Him. A troubled parishioner once asked his pastor, “Does the world look like a wreck to you too?” He replied, “Yes, like the wreck of a bursting seed! Without the ‘wreck’ stage when its world appears to be falling apart, the acorn could never give birth to an oak tree.” So, embrace God’s will in your time of testing because it’s “good, and acceptable, and perfect” (Ro 12:2). Ultimately, you will “see how good the Lord is” and that “happy is the person who trusts him.”
Be Disciplined
“Do not neglect the gift that is in you.” 1Ti 4:14 NKJV
The only way to keep improving is to keep practicing. Nancy Dornan says, “The longest distance between two points is a shortcut.” That’s really true. If you desire to grow in a particular area, figure out what it will really take, including the price, then determine to pay it. David didn’t suddenly discover his talent as a harpist when he arrived at King Saul’s palace. He developed it through years of practice on lonely hillsides while tending his father’s sheep. Paul instructed Timothy: “Till I come, give attention to reading…Do not neglect the gift that is in you…Meditate on these things; give yourself entirely to them, that your progress may be evident to all” (vv. 13-15 NKJV). When you’re through growing—you’re through. Progress, success, and growth don’t happen by osmosis, they demand discipline. There is no easy way to become a disciplined person. The reason last year’s winner was this year’s runner-up is because one was willing to go the extra mile when it came to practice and discipline, and the other wasn’t. Anyone who does what he or she must do only when they’re in the mood or when it’s convenient will get left behind. Improvement comes through discipline. A disciplined person doesn’t make excuses or accept excuses; they eliminate excuses. As French classical writer François de La Rochefoucauld said, “Almost all our faults are more pardonable than the methods we think up to hide them.” If you have several reasons why you can’t be disciplined, realize they’re just a bunch of excuses—all of which need to be challenged if you want to succeed in what God has called you to do.
Bracing Your Children For The Turbulent Years
“You formed me…I am marvelously made!” Ps 139:13-14 MSG
In order for your child to thrive and have self-worth, they must understand four things: (1) How God feels about them. The psalmist says, “His love never quits” (Ps 136:1 MSG). Knowing this is foundational to your child’s spiritual development and to their relationship with God. (2) How you feel about them. So, let them know that though you correct them, you will never reject them. (3) How they feel about themselves. The most painful aspect of growing up is related to the assault on self-esteem that’s almost universal in today’s teen society. Young people typically feel like fools and failures before they have even had a chance to get started in life. So, tell them they are a “work in progress” with incredible potential. “You formed me in my mother’s womb…Body and soul, I am marvelously made!” (Ps 139:13-14 MSG). Help them to discover their God-given gifts and develop them—electronics, art, music, or even raising rabbits for fun and profit. Anything! It’s not so much what you teach your child; the key is that they are learning something with which to compensate when the whole world seems to be saying, “Who are you, and what is your significance?” The teenager who has no answer to these questions is left unprotected at a very vulnerable time in life. So, developing and honing skills with which to compensate may be one of the most valuable contributions you as a parent can make. (4) How their peers feel about them. If they approve, that’s good. But if they don’t, and you have gotten the first three things right, your child will still thrive.
What The Bible Teaches About Money
“Though your riches increase, do not set your heart on them.” Ps 62:10 NIV
Let’s settle it once and for all. If God can trust you with money, He will bless you financially (See 2Co 9:6-11 NIV). But His blessings come with certain conditions, and here are four you need to honor. (1) Don’t try to claim credit. God told the Israelites, “You may say to yourself…‘My hands have produced this wealth for me.’ But remember the Lord…for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth…If you ever forget…you will surely be destroyed” (Dt 8:17-19 NIV). (2) Don’t forget others. The Bible commands “those who are rich in this present world…to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds…generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves” (1Ti 6:17-19 NIV). (3) Don’t become arrogant. Jeremiah admonishes us, “Let not the wise boast of their wisdom or the strong…of their strength or the rich…of their riches, but let the one who boasts boast about this: that they have the understanding to know me, that I am the Lord” (Jer 9:23-24 NIV). (4) Don’t allow anything to take God’s place., “Give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’” (Pr 30:8-9 NIV). Remember, you don’t own anything—you’re just an administrator of God’s estate and an executor of His will. It’s an awesome responsibility, so make sure you do a good job.
Prayer Gives Us A God’s-Eye View
“Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.” Col 4:2 NIV
The word “watchful” is a throwback to the Old Testament-era practice of sitting on a city wall and keeping watch. Watchmen were the first to see attacking armed forces or traveling merchants. They had the optimal vantage point. They saw what nobody else saw. They saw them sooner than others saw them. That is exactly what happens when we pray. We see what nobody else sees, and we see them sooner than others see them. Why? Because prayer provides us with a God’s-eye view; it enhances our awareness and gives us a sixth sense that allows us to perceive spiritual realities. In their classic book Geeks and Geezers, business gurus Warren Bennis and Robert Thomas make an interesting observation about a common denominator among successful leaders in every field. Bennis and Thomas call them first-class noticers. “Being a first-class noticer allows you to recognize talent, identify opportunities, and avoid pitfalls. Leaders who succeed again and again are geniuses at grasping context. This is one of those characteristics, like taste, that is difficult to break down into its component parts. But the ability to weigh a welter of factors, some as subtle as how very different groups of people will interpret a gesture, is one of the hallmarks of a true leader.” Prayer turns us into first-class noticers. It helps us to see what God wants us to notice. The more you pray, the more you notice. The less you pray, the less you notice. It’s as simple as that. Here is a Bible formula for success in any area of life: “Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.”
Read The Signals With Your Children
“My children, listen as I teach you to respect the Lord.” Ps 34:11 CEV
Smithsonian magazine once featured a master stonecutter from England named Simon Verity. He restored thirteenth-century cathedrals in Great Britain. As the authors watched him work, they noticed something fascinating. “Verity listens closely to hear the song of the stone under his careful blows. A solid strike, and all is well. A higher-pitched ping, and it could mean trouble. A chunk of rock could break off. He constantly adjusts the angle of the chisel and the force of the mallet to the pitch, pausing frequently to run his hand over the freshly carved surface.” Verity understood the importance of his task. He knew one wrong move could be devastating, causing irreparable damage to his work of art. His success was rooted in his ability to read the signals his stones were sending. Parent, you need to hone your skills at listening to your children, especially during times of discipline and guidance. It takes a great deal of patience and sensitivity to interpret your child’s responses. But if you listen carefully, they will tell you what they’re thinking and feeling. And God will help you to do it: “The Lord God hath given me the tongue of the learned, that I should know how to speak a word in season” (Isa 50:4). Each changing season in your child’s development raises different questions, calling for different answers. To have the right answer, you must be tuned in to the question they’re asking at the time. Not only will you be imparting to them the wisdom they need at that time, you will be teaching them how to do it with their own children.
Guard Against Envy And Jealousy
“Let us have…no envy of one another.” Gal 5:26 RSV
Paul cautioned the early church about envy, and it’s still a problem. Your coworker gets a raise, a friend’s kid wins a scholarship, a neighbor takes a dream vacation. Do you rejoice with them, or force a tight smile? We’re human; an occasional flicker of envy is normal. But beware of harboring a chronic sense of being shortchanged. Tacitus said, “When men are full of envy, they disparage everything…good or bad.” When somebody else prospers, before you ask, “Why not me?” ask yourself if you would be responding the same way if some tragedy had befallen them. Jealousy is like a moth; it nibbles away at clothes until they’re ruined, except envy destroys irreplaceable things like relationships and families. One author reminds us: “When we’re…in the valley, it is human to envy those…[on] the mountaintops. It is easy to forget [they] didn’t fall there—they climbed there. Behind the success story is always a courageous decision and a gallant action…If we want to reach them…we have to…climb. Inspiration from someone else may get us started, but the success is in the climbing.” Imagine a runner striding out; he is fast, focused, and ahead of the pack. Then he starts looking at the competition. Before long he stumbles, loses his momentum, and drops out. That’s what happens when you let jealousy distract you from completing the course God mapped out for you. Paul writes, “You were running a good race. Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the truth?” (Gal 5:7 NIV). Keep your eye on the prize, and don’t get distracted by what others have and don’t have. That’s none of your business.
Don’t Be Afraid Of Getting Old (2)
“They shall still bear fruit in old age.” Ps 92:14 NKJV
Does the thought of getting older depress you, make you anxious, or make you fatalistic in your outlook? If so, read this: “Those who are planted in the house of the Lord shall flourish in the courts of our God. They shall still bear fruit in old age; they shall be fresh and flourishing” (vv. 13-14 NKJV). Here is how to stay “fresh and flourishing” as you grow older: (1) Guard your health. Studies show that good health is the number-one factor in determining the level of happiness in old age. Eat healthy, and exercise often. Drink lots of water, take your daily vitamins, and get regular medical checkups. These efforts will not guarantee you more time, but they will determine the quality of your time here on earth. (2) Look your best. Dress stylishly at every age, as your budget will allow. When you look good, you feel good—and inspired. But keep your quest for attractiveness in balance. Think twice and do your homework before you submit to cosmetic surgeries. Some can be downright dangerous. “Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise” (Pr 31:30-31 NLT). (3) Look for someone to help. Mother Teresa said, “We cannot do great things. We can only do little things with great love.” You will be amazed at the sense of strength, self-worth, and satisfaction you feel when you meet the needs of others. An unknown poet wrote, “It’s loving and giving that makes life worth living!”
What It Means To “Love” Someone
“As we live in God, our love grows more perfect.” 1Jn 4:17 NLT
In today’s culture, the word “love” means different things to different people. You can love your husband or wife, your country, your dog, your new cell phone, and your car. But you don’t love your husband or wife the same way you love your cell phone or your car, right? The television and tabloid kind of love where you fall in and out of love at the drop of a hat isn’t real love, it’s selfishness and immaturity. The Bible word “agape” (God’s love) is an unconditional commitment to love that’s rooted in an unchanging decision. It always gives, and doesn’t change whether the love is returned or not. It’s a decision of your heart to seek the other person’s highest good, no matter how they may respond. When the King James Bible translators came upon the Greek word “agape,” in addition to using the English word “love” to translate it, they often chose the word “charity.” This was meant to reinforce the idea that love is a selfless, unconditional, giving love. And as such, it directs kindness, respect, and loyalty toward the loved one. “God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect” (vv. 16-17 NLT). What causes us to stand out from the world isn’t our words but our love for one another. When we can overcome our differences, when we can cross lines of denomination, race, and culture and truly love one another, the world is drawn to Christ and it pays attention to what we say (See Jn 13:35).
The Gift Of Confession
“Walk in love as Christ also has loved us.” Eph 5:2 NKJV
Spiritual healing takes place when you’re able to confess your problem to someone mature enough to handle it and committed enough to not give up on you. What does it mean to “walk in love?” (a) To be confident of God’s unfailing love toward you. (b) To show His love to others. (c) To be able to accept their love in return. Only then can you become spiritually whole. You can only be loved to the extent that you’re known. When you keep part of your life a secret, others may tell you they love you, but deep inside you think, “If you knew the whole truth about me, you wouldn’t love me.” So, you’re unable to receive and be strengthened by their love. Sin isolates us, and sin and isolation will make us sick in our soul, and even our body. Confession and then prayer, connectedness to each other and to God, ushers in the Spirit and promotes healing. To be fully known and fully loved is the most healing gift we can give to each other. The Bible says, “Confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed” (Jas 5:16 NAS). We’re all forgiven, recovering sinners, and no one can be secure in a relationship if they’re loved only because they’re intelligent, strong, pretty, or successful. One Bible teacher says: “When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find it is those who instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.”
Work On Improving Your Communication Skills
“When the wise is instructed, he receives knowledge.” Pr 21:11 NKJV
Whether in your personal life or your career, learning how to communicate with others is essential to success and happiness in a relationship. Apart from obtaining facts, communication should deliver a way to gain some understanding into the heart and mind of another person. And good communication calls for translation. Really, you’re learning that other person’s language. We all use the same words, but we have unique languages when it comes to love. What you mean when you say, “I need someone to be here for me,” might not be what the other person means when they say, “I will be here for you.” You need to learn their language without prior assumptions and incorrect projections weighing you down. Such interpersonal literacy will serve you well for years to come. It will stop you from treating her as though she is simply you in a different shape, or imagining that he is just like your best girlfriend, etc. We all need to love and be loved, but we use different means of communication to express our desires. Don’t be fearful of checking terms and comparing definitions to make sure you’re both singing from the same song sheet. A respected Bible teacher puts it like this: “Often in my own conversations, I will say, ‘Let me tell you what I heard so I can see if that is what you meant.’ I am shocked at how many times I hear something totally different from what is intended!” Lasting happiness doesn’t come from owning things, it comes from having good relationships. So, work on improving your communication skills. It’s well worth the investment!