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S.T.R.E.S.S. (3)
“I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is there anything too hard for Me?” Jer 32:27 NKJV
Remember past victories. Notice how King Jehoshaphat prayed: “Are You not our God, who drove out the inhabitants of this land before Your people Israel, and gave it to the descendants of Abraham Your friend forever?” (2Ch 20:7 NKJV). If God has ever performed a miracle for you or for anybody else, He can do it again. So, read His Word and strengthen your faith by recalling His great deeds. E—Exalt God above the problem. “O Lord God of our fathers, are You not God in heaven, and do You not rule over all the kingdoms of the nations, and in Your hand is there not power and might, so that no one is able to withstand You?” (v. 6 NKJV). In his anguish, Jehoshaphat asked rhetorical questions that exposed how big his God was compared to the problem. Sometimes it’s difficult to look past the problem when the reality of it is so close. If you close one eye and put a coin over your other eye, you can blind yourself to something as big as the sun. Getting the idea? S—Solicit the prayers and support of others. “Jehoshaphat…proclaimed a fast throughout all Judah…they came to seek the Lord” (vv. 3-4 NKJV). Jehoshaphat didn’t ask the people for their opinions but for their prayers, because that’s what moves the heart of God. S—Stand on the promises of God. When you do, you can say like the psalmist, “As pressure and stress bear down on me, I find joy in your commands” (Ps 119:143 NLT). That’s God’s formula for stress—now use it.
S.T.R.E.S.S. (1)
“Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?” Lk 12:25 NLT
King Jehoshaphat heard that he was about to be attacked by three different armies. Talk about stress! His response is the example you need to follow when life gets overwhelming. His story is told in 2 Chronicles 20. Using the word S.T.R.E.S.S., we learn the following lessons: S—Seek God’s guidance. “Jehoshaphat…set himself to seek the Lord” (v. 3). Years prior when his father, King Asa, faced a similar threat, he responded by collecting the silver and gold from the temple and his palace and using it to bribe one of the raiding kings to defect to his side. That solved the immediate problem—but not without negative consequences. Although the invasion endeavor was abandoned, God became angry at his reliance on another king to help him conquer his enemies (See 2Ch 16:1-9). So, He pronounced Asa’s punishment for the rest of his reign: “In this you have done foolishly; therefore from now on you shall have wars” (v. 9 NKJV). He would live with the stress of constantly being at war, because he had not sought after God’s counsel first. So, Jehoshaphat, his son, decided that he wasn’t going to take that route. How about you? Do you stress out, attempting to figure out a solution instead of finding out how God wants you to deal with it? Think of the last problem you faced. Did you rely on the opinions of others or on your own ideas, or was your first idea to seek God? God promises this: “You will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart” (Jer 29:13 NKJV). So, talk to God about it!
Overcoming your shyness
“A man who has friends must himself be friendly.” Pr 18:24 NKJV
There are no shortcuts to overcoming shyness; you’re going to have to work at becoming comfortable being with people. But you can do it. Here are some surefire strategies that will help you make friends: (1) You can’t deny the fact that you’re shy, but the more you keep talking about it, the more you reinforce its control over you. “Wise words satisfy like a good meal; the right words bring satisfaction. The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences” (vv. 20-21 NLT). Why “own” something so damaging to your goals and relationships? “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” (2Ti 1:7 NKJV). Fear is a spirit, and you must learn to reject it! The fact that you have named yourself “shy” is no reason to shy away from chances to overcome it. Avoidance just reinforces your fear. (2) Engage in an activity you really enjoy so that you’ll have something to chat about with passion and enthusiasm. (3) Overlook your thumping heart, wobbly voice, sweat, aching stomach, or other signs of anxiety; they are not lethal. Grin. It’s contagious, and it’s vital to appearing approachable. (4) Ask people to talk about their favorite subject—themselves. Then really listen and reply to their answers instead of worrying about what you will ask next. Remember, you may be able to sway what people think about you, but you cannot control it—so stop thinking about their assessment or endorsement of you. Meditate on Philippians 4:6-9, and “the God of peace will be with you” (Php 4:9 NKJV).
You must take responsibility for your life
“We are each responsible for our own conduct.” Gal 6:5 NLT
Being accountable for yourself, your thoughts, and your actions is a very important part of being a contributing member in a relationship. But sometimes we take things too far by assuming an unhealthy responsibility for others, then using it as an excuse for not being accountable for ourselves and our own circumstances. For example, we blame an unplanned pregnancy for our failure to go to college. Or we blame our unhappiness on the fact that we stayed married for the sake of the children. We focus so much on other people and taking responsibility for their lives that we never take time to look for solutions to rise above our own situation. And eventually all the woe and hard times become our identity. We don’t just complain; we become chronic complainers. Let’s be honest, sometimes our tales of woe are simply excuses, made-up versions of the truth to hide the fact that we have decided to blame everyone else for our circumstances. That way we don’t have to take responsibility for our lives. The fact is, we all make choices in life; to go or stay, to confront or ignore, to complain or look for a solution. Whether it’s your spouse, your kids, or your parents, it’s never a good idea to take responsibility for others if you’re doing it to avoid deciding what you need to do for yourself. The Bible says, “Pay careful attention to your own work…then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct” (vv. 4-5 NLT).
What you don’t learn in school
“Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise.” Pr 31:28 MSG
Where do children learn to think highly of their mothers? Who sets the pattern for their young minds, positioning Mom as the much-loved and respected member of the family—instead of being merely considered “chief cook and bottle washer?” At school, children learn the skills necessary to succeed on the job, but at home, they learn the skills necessary for building a family. And the best public relations agent for Mom—is Dad. Father, you wield tremendous influence over what your children think of their mother and women in general. When your children grow up with warring parents, they think, “If Dad can argue with Mom, then so can I.” In short, your attitudes and actions become the attitudes and actions of your children. In a world that often discounts the contribution of women, especially homemakers, it’s up to you as a husband and father to say in a dozen different ways, “Your mother is a wonderful woman! She works hard and she deserves tremendous credit for what she gives us all. As far as I’m concerned, she is number one!” Proverbs 31 says, “Her children respect and bless her.” Who did they learn that from? Television? Their peer group? School? No, they learned it at home. Here is the bottom line: The way you treat your wife is probably the way your son will treat his wife. Your children may not follow your advice, but often they will follow your example. “Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise” (v. 31 NLT).
Thinking outside “the religious box” (2)
“I have come to call…those who know they are sinners.” Mk 2:17 NLT
There is a difference between loving nonbelievers and loving their ways. Paul says, “Find common ground with everyone, doing everything [you] can to save some” (1Co 9:22 NLT). So: (1) Be courteous. “The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down” (Col 4:6 MSG). (2) Be genuine. “Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it” (Ro 12:9 MSG). Because Jesus found common ground with the woman at the well, she made peace with God, then brought her friends and family to meet Jesus (See Jn 4). You have to spend time around nonbelievers to introduce them to Christ. When Levi invited Jesus and His disciples as dinner guests with tax collectors and other disreputable sinners, the Pharisees asked, “‘Why does he eat with such scum?’…Jesus…told them…‘I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners’” (Mk 2:16-17 NLT). Author Mark Roberts observes: “Table fellowship signified deep intimacy. To eat with someone was to share in their life and to allow them into yours…The Pharisees, who were committed to the highest standards of ritual purity…expected Jesus to do as they did, keeping plenty of distance between themselves and questionable types who might compromise Jesus’ holiness.” Jesus didn’t see people as “scum,” and wasn’t concerned about maintaining a religious facade. He ate with sinners because they needed His help and were open to receive it. How about you? Are you willing to get your hands dirty? Are you more concerned with what people think about you than you are about those who need Christ?
My daily faith confession (2)
“Blessed be the Lord, who daily loads us with benefits.” Ps 68:19 NKJV
When you speak words of faith over your life based on the Scriptures, Jesus taught that you will “have whatever [you] say” (See Mk 11:23). David refers to God’s blessings as “benefits,” and says that God “daily loads us with benefits.” Note the word “loads.” We’re not talking here about the capacity of a teacup but a dump truck! God is waiting, willing, and wanting to do these things for you. That’s why the psalmist writes: “Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits: Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases, Who redeems your life from destruction, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies, Who satisfies your mouth with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. The Lord executes righteousness and justice for all who are oppressed…The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in mercy…He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor punished us according to our iniquities. For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. As a father pities his children, so the Lord pities those who fear Him. For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust…But the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to children’s children” (Ps 103:2-6, 8, 10-14, 17 NKJV). Understand this: You activate the power of God’s Word when you confess it over your life.
Evangelize or fossilize (2)
“The Lord added to the church daily those who were being saved.” Ac 2:47 NKJV
The church has only two options: evangelize or fossilize. When we fail to share our faith with those outside the church, we either end up in a holding pattern or in death throes. The New Testament church’s growth is described in these words: “The Lord added to the church daily those who were being saved.” Not only did they influence every level of society, but their enemies said, “These who have turned the world upside down have come here too” (Ac 17:6 NKJV). Question: If your church closed its doors tomorrow, would anyone other than your congregation notice the difference? Think about those early believers. Their assignment seemed geographically impossible; most people still believed the world was flat. They had no air travel, radio, television, printing presses, internet, or any other modern means at their disposal for communicating the gospel. It seemed legally impossible; they were forbidden by the government authorities to speak in Jesus’ name. And it seemed socially impossible; after all, who would really listen to a bunch of Galileans, devoid of culture and class? Yet they were witnesses through the power of the Holy Spirit, and people did listen. They did so much with so little, and we seem to do so little with so much. It’s reckoned that if just 10 percent of the members in the average church got serious about evangelism, their church would double in one year. By the way, the word translated “witness” is the same word from which we get our English word martyr. These early believers reached the world for Christ because they were willing to lay down their lives for His cause. You must be too.
Start early
“Train up a child in the way he should go.” Pr 22:6
The Bible says, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (v. 6). Observe the word “child.” You must begin early when: (1) Their will is flexible. A twig is much simpler to bend than a trunk. In the early years, your child’s will is like soft clay; malleable and flexible. You see, it’s when they’re young that you are to “set their ways,” because when they grow older, their “ways are set.” The Hebrew phrase “train up” refers to training a vine to grow in a certain shape or direction. If you wait, it will be too late! (2) There is still hope. “Chasten your son while there is hope, and do not set your heart on his destruction” (Pr 19:18 NKJV). When a parent says, “My kids are hopeless,” too often you find out those parents didn’t train their children while there was still hope. Listen to the urgency in Solomon’s voice: “He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly” (Pr 13:24 NKJV). The Hebrew word for “promptly” refers to dawn, or early in the day. So, start early! Maybe you have a little darling running around in your house right now that you think is an angel. But someday those legs will grow longer, those wings will become shorter, and sometimes a little “angel” even sprouts horns! While your child is young and more apt and ready to listen to your advice and counsel, teach and train him or her how to live God’s way. If you do, you will never regret it.
Think carefully before you speak
“Talk too much, and you are done for.” Pr 13:3 CEV
Here is a Bible verse we should all commit to memory: “Keep what you know to yourself, and you will be safe; talk too much, and you are done for” (v. 3 CEV). Simply put, your tendency to speak without thinking will keep getting you into trouble. The story is told of a vacuum cleaner salesman who had been given a remote rural area as his territory. He was going from farmhouse to farmhouse on his first day on the job, attempting to sell vacuum cleaners. As he arrived at one farmhouse, he knocked on the door and was met by a farmer’s wife who asked him what he wanted. Without asking permission, he shoved right past her into the kitchen and said, “I’m selling vacuum cleaners.” Shocked, she replied, “Wait a minute!” But he demanded, “Ma’am, before you say anything, I want to show you something.” Then he reached into his bag, pulled out a pail of dirt, and threw it across her kitchen floor. “If my vacuum cleaner won’t pick up all that dirt,” he bragged, “then I’ll eat it!” She looked at him and said, “Then you better get busy, ’cause we ain’t got no electricity!” How often we have to eat the words we so recklessly toss on the floor of everyday living! Be careful. Jesus said one day we will give an account for every idle word we speak (See Mt 12:36). An unknown poet wrote, “Be careful of the words you say and keep them soft and sweet. You never know from day to day which ones you’ll have to eat.” So unless you want to eat your words, think carefully before speaking.
Don’t be afraid to go
“You must go…And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you.” Dt 31:7-8 NKJV
When God tells you to “go,” remind yourself that every detail of your future is already known to Him. Centuries ago when a mapmaker ran out of the known world before he ran out of parchment, he would frequently draw a dragon at the edge of the scroll. This was intended as a sign to explorers that they were entering unknown territory at their own risk. Many, however, didn’t regard the dragon as a mapmaker’s warning sign but instead as a prophecy. They foresaw disaster beyond the known worlds they traversed, and their fear kept them from pushing on to discover new lands and peoples. Other more adventuresome travelers, however, saw the dragon as a sign of opportunity and a doorway to new worlds worth exploring. Each of us has a mental map that contains the information we use for guidance as we begin each day. And like the maps of long ago, our mental maps have edges to them, and sometimes those edges seem to be marked by dragons or fears. We fear failing, or being rejected, or ridiculed, or that we won’t have enough, or that we will lose what we have. If that’s how you feel today, read these words spoken by God to His people when they stood on the threshold of the promised land without knowing what awaited them when they went into it. “The Lord, He is the One who goes before you.” So, write down your goal, map out a strategy, and set a deadline. Then commit it to God, believing that He has gone before you to prepare the way.
Grace and confidence
“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence.” Heb 4:16 NIV
If you feel unworthy to approach God in prayer, stop and read these words: “Let us…approach God’s throne of grace with confidence…that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need” (v. 16 NIV). The word “grace” means “undeserved kindness, mercy, favor, and help when you need it.” Notice three important things: (1) When you need grace, you can approach God with complete confidence. Why? Because you’re coming to a throne of grace and mercy, not a throne of judgment. All your sins—past, present, and future—were paid for the moment Jesus said, “It is finished.” Satan, whom the Bible calls “the accuser,” wants you to feel condemned, guilty, and unworthy to approach God. But the moment you placed your trust in Christ, God clothed you in Christ’s righteousness. Therefore, you can always come to Him with confidence. (2) When you need more grace, pray more. God has all the grace needed to help you, but you must go before His throne and ask for it. A prayerless Christian is a graceless Christian. The Bible says, “Grow in grace” (2Pe 3:18), and if you’re not praying every day, you’re not growing in your spiritual life. So, what’s the answer? Spend more time hanging around the throne that dispenses grace. (3) God’s grace is given based on your need at that moment. He won’t give you tomorrow’s grace until tomorrow, so don’t bother asking for it. But don’t be concerned; the supply of grace you have in Christ will not run out tomorrow—or ever! That means you can’t wear out your welcome by going to the throne of grace too often.
What are they saying about you?
“It is reported…that you.” Neh 6:6 NKJV
To prevent Nehemiah from rebuilding Jerusalem’s walls, his enemies spread rumors about him. “It is reported among the nations, and Geshem says, that you and the Jews plan to rebel; therefore, according to these rumors, you are rebuilding the wall, that you may be their king” (v. 6 NKJV). Now, you can’t control what people think, or keep them from saying it, but you can determine your response. Nehemiah did: “I sent messengers to them, saying, ‘I am doing a great work, so that I cannot come down. Why should the work cease while I leave it and go down to you?’ But they sent me this message four times, and I answered them in the same manner” (vv. 3-4 NKJV). This story teaches you three important principles: (1) Refuse to give more attention to a critic than you would to a friend. To Nehemiah, the people who mattered were those who were for him rather than those against him. So instead of trying to change minds, he changed gears and moved forward. (2) Realize that with opportunity comes opposition. Paul wrote, “There is a wide-open door for a great work here, although many oppose me” (1Co 16:9 NLT). Criticism is a sign of respect; if you weren’t succeeding, they wouldn’t even notice you. (3) Remember that it’s the big battles that produce the big victories. Satan won’t send you a congratulatory telegram because you have decided to do God’s will; he will fight you every step of the way. But “greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world” (1Jn 4:4). Today God is on your side, so your victory is assured.
Hearing the “still small voice”
“A still small voice…Elijah heard it.” 1Ki 19:12-13 NKJV
When Jezebel threatened Elijah’s life, he fled to a cave. And that’s when God said to him: “‘Go out, and stand on the mountain before the Lord.’ And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice…Elijah heard it” (vv. 11-13 NKJV). God can speak to you anywhere, anytime, through anybody, in any situation. But He will often share His greatest insights when you’re alone with Him. In order to hear God’s “still small voice,” two things must happen: (1) You must have silence and solitude. This calls for shutting out everything else and focusing on God. Not everyone will understand or appreciate what you’re doing, but you must if you’re to hear from Him. (2) You must get close to Him. The average person now gets fifty to one hundred texts and emails every day. Think about that. As long as you’re willing to take the time to stop and listen to others but not to God, your problems will not be solved, and your situation won’t change. The songwriter, Everett W. Sugg, put it this way: “Shut in with God in a secret place, There in the Spirit beholding His face, Gaining more power to run in this race, oh I long to be shut in with God.”
The cure for anxiety (4)
“You have been a strength…to the needy in his distress.” Isa 25:4 NKJV
When you start worrying about the future, recall what God has already brought you through. In situations you thought you wouldn’t survive, He caused you to thrive, right? Nothing can separate you from His love (See Ro 8:38-39). But your anxieties can rob you of the security His love brings. One writer says: “I was a person who wanted to understand everything because it made me feel I was in control. I was not good at ‘not knowing.’ My mind went on and on all day with thoughts like, Why did I act like that? I wonder what so-and-so is thinking about my decision to buy a new car? Why hasn’t God answered my prayer yet for a promotion at work? I wonder if I’m doing something wrong, or don’t have enough faith? The ‘whys’ in my mind seemed to never cease, and they made me miserable. My mind was home to all sorts of uninvited guests (tormenting thoughts) simply because I never said ‘no’ to them. I wondered, reasoned, worried, fretted, imagined, and was anxious to the point where it left me completely exhausted…God actually showed me that I was addicted to reasoning and that I had to give it up. It didn’t happen overnight, but each time I started my mental gymnastics, I said, ‘I will not worry or try to figure this out,’ and gradually I was able to trust God with my life.” Today God wants to be your provider, your guide, your adviser, your protector, and your “all in all.” So stand on His Word, which says, “You have been a strength…to the needy in his distress.”
S.T.R.E.S.S. (2)
“Position yourselves, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord, who is with you.” 2Ch 20:17 NKJV
Trust what God tells you. “You will not need to fight in this battle. Position yourselves, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord…Do not fear or be dismayed; tomorrow go out against them, for the Lord is with you” (v. 17 NKJV). God’s way of resolving our problems can frequently go against our logic. Maybe that is why we are hesitant to approach Him in certain matters. Why would God instruct Jehoshaphat’s army, which was clearly no match for three armies, to show up prepared for a battle they were not intended to fight? That didn’t make any sense! God will many times tell us to “position” ourselves to deal with a demanding task or problem we feel completely inadequate to tackle. Our challenge is to obey Him and position ourselves to win. How do you do that? (1) You “position” yourself when you choose to enter college, even though you may not have achieved well in high school. (2) You “position” yourself when you resign from a job at God’s urging and start a new business, even though a long list of customers or clients isn’t waiting in the wings. (3) You “position” yourself when you sit down at your computer each day to write a book you have always desired to write–without a head full of knowledge but with a heart full of faith that God will join you there with His words. God’s instruction is to position ourselves for victory. He wants us to show up, so He can show Himself strong on our behalf (See 2Ch 16:9 NKJV).
Lift up the shield of faith
“Hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil.” Eph 6:16 NLT
Pay attention to what Satan is shooting at you: “fiery arrows!” He knows that if he can light the fires of worry and anxiety within you, he can immobilize and defeat you. And notice what God has given you to protect yourself: “the shield of faith.” But you have a part to play: “Hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil.” A shield won’t help a soldier while it’s on the ground, or even at his side. He must lift it up to cover himself from attack. The same goes for you. When the Devil attacks you with unpleasant circumstances and thoughts that cause you to worry and be afraid, you must immediately lift up the shield of faith. Faith in what? Yourself? No, faith in the faithfulness of God! At times your faith in God may falter, but His love and care for you will never falter. “Faithful is He Who is calling you [to Himself] and utterly trustworthy” (1Th 5:24 AMPC). How do you lift up the shield of faith? By saying, “Lord, I trust you in this situation!” Jesus talked back to Satan in the wilderness by saying, “It is written,” and you must learn to talk back to Satan too. God’s Word is a protective shield that the Devil’s arrows cannot penetrate. When you hold it up like a shield, it’s effective against anything he tries to do in your life. Satan’s fiery arrows can come from any direction, from both your friends and foes. So, you must lift up the shield of faith.
God is in control; trust Him
“My hope is in You.” Ps 39:7 NKJV
Life seldom works out exactly the way we hope or think it will. When Job lost everything, he said, “I don’t have the strength to endure. I have nothing to live for… I am utterly helpless, without any chance of success” (Job 6:11, 13 NLT). Yet in the end, Job got back twice as much as he had lost. But the experiences and adversities he had gone through changed his attitude toward God profoundly. “I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted…My ears have heard of you but now my eyes have seen you” (Job 42:2, 5 NIV). What had Job discovered? That God is sovereign! He is not our servant, we are His servants. We must obey His Word in order to walk in His blessing—but the final outcome of all things rests in His hands and not ours. Many of us struggle with control. We want control not only over our circumstances, but our goals, plans, relationships, and all that concerns us. Such fear is often an indication of an unconscious desire to be independent of God; to be the master of our own destiny. Sometimes it’s the result of growing up in a chaotic environment and resolving never to repeat the experiences of your earlier life. Perhaps you think you’re in control of your life due to your educational, financial, or other achievements. It isn’t true. God enabled you to do everything that you have done. Paul writes, “But whatever I am now, it is all because God poured out his special favor on me” (1Co 15:10 NLT). Today God is in control—trust Him!
Acknowledge your mistake
“Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper.” Pr 28:13 NIV
Mistakes are a part of life. Successful people acknowledge theirs, learn from them, and work to correct them. A study of 105 executives identified common characteristics shared by successful people, but one observation was particularly helpful. Successful people admit their mistakes and accept the consequences instead of blaming others. None of us enjoy reaping the consequences of our actions. When things go wrong, we have a natural tendency to look for someone to blame. It’s in our DNA. In the garden of Eden when God asked Adam what he had done, Adam blamed Eve. And when God questioned Eve, she blamed the Devil. The next time you mess up, think about who is really at fault and try to look at it objectively so you can learn from it and do better next time. Somebody said the sooner you fail, the more time you have to improve. Ask yourself, “What have I learned? How can I turn this failure into success? Where did I succeed besides fail?” People who accuse others for their failures never surmount them; they just move from problem to problem. To reach your highest potential, you must persistently improve yourself, and you can’t do that if you don’t take responsibility and learn from your errors. In life you will always have problems. The question is: Will you stay down and wallow in defeat, or get back up on your feet and make the best of things by determining to fight another day? Henry Ford said, “Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” So, live by the Bible principle, “A just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again” (Pr 24:16).
When it’s time for them to leave
“As an eagle stirs up its nest…so the Lord…led him.” Dt 32:11-12 NKJV
Eagles learn to fly by being pushed out of their nest. Left to themselves, they would never leave the comfort of home. But, neither would they discover and fulfill their unique destiny as fliers. The same principle applies to your children. It’s true that most teenagers can’t wait to get out of the house, but there are also some who need to be pushed. How can you get your grown children to move on when the time has come? Sometimes the problem is not that you as a parent withhold independence but that your children don’t want to accept it. They have no desire to grow up, and why should they? The nest is just too cozy! Food is cooked. Clothes are washed, and bills are paid. They feel no motivation to face the harsh world of reality, and they have resolved not to budge. Some even won’t get a job. It’s hard to dislodge homebound sons or daughters. They’re like furry, little puppies who lie around the back door waiting for a bowl of warm milk. But letting them stay, especially if they’re avoiding career goals, is cultivating irresponsibility and dependency. That’s not loving them, even though you may feel like it is. A time comes when you must gently but candidly hand the reins over to your children and force them to stand on their own two feet to live life on life’s terms. In some cases, you might even have to pack their bags. But if you love them and want them to fulfill their God-given destiny, you have no other choice.
Thinking outside “the religious box” (1)
“I’m after mercy, not religion…to invite outsiders, not coddle insiders.” Mt 9:13 MSG
Author Nicole Unice says the suspicions people have about Christians include, “They judge me. They are better than I am. They won’t approve of me. I won’t fit in with their religion. They are all serious and no fun. Jesus hung around enough parties for the Pharisees to accuse him of being a drunkard. He befriended forbidden women. He interacted with people so he could introduce them to his Father. He broke through stereotypes and communicated God as he is—approachable, merciful and graceful. The people who were most upset…were the ones who preferred…the rules of the religion…The concept of a free and joyful life with Jesus may seem basic for you. But is that what your neighbors think? It feels as comfortable as sweatpants to hang out with people who believe and feel as we do. Fellowship among believers is a wonderful gift. But if we are truly to follow Jesus’ example, we need to look for opportunities to engage those around us.” Jesus goes a step further: “Who needs a doctor: the healthy or the sick?…‘I’m after mercy, not religion.’ I’m here to invite outsiders, not coddle insiders.” How can you share the gospel if all your friends are Christians? Some of us have become so isolated and disconnected that we have no meaningful interaction whatsoever with nonbelievers. And the more time passes, the more insulated and comfortable we become, until eventually we lose touch with the very people Jesus came to save. Paul says, “Find common ground with [nonbelievers]…tell [them] about Christ…let Christ save [them]” (1Co 9:22 TLB). It’s called thinking outside “the religious box.”
My daily faith confession (1)
“Jesus answered…he will have whatever he says.” Mk 11:22-23 NKJV
Jesus taught us that when we speak His Word in faith, we will “have” whatever we say. That’s a powerful faith! When you speak God’s living Word over your situation, it’s like flipping a switch; His power is activated, and His promises start coming to pass in your life. So, begin each day by speaking the following Scriptures over your life: (1) “This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it” (Ps 118:24 NKJV). Confession: “Lord, thank you for the gift of this day. I will celebrate your goodness and enjoy each moment of it.” (2) “His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness” (La 3:22-23 NKJV). Confession: “Lord, today I will seek to honor You in all that I do. And if I fail and fall short, I will still walk in Your mercy and grace.” (3) “The Lord God has given Me the tongue of the learned, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him who is weary” (Isa 50:4 NKJV). Confession: “Lord, I will know what to say because You have instructed me and given me the tongue of the learned.” (4) “This is the day in which the Lord has delivered [your enemy] into your hand. Has not the Lord gone out before you?” (Jdg 4:14 NKJV). Confession: “Lord, regardless of what comes my way today, You will defend, protect, and vindicate me. So, this day I will walk in your joy, favor, mercy, guidance, protection, and blessing.”
Evangelize or fossilize (1)
“You shall be witnesses to Me.” Ac 1:8 NKJV
Coach Vince Lombardi led the Green Bay Packers football team to victory after victory. But one day, they lost to a team they should have easily defeated. So, Lombardi gathered his team together. He put his hand into a bag and brought out a football. With his inimitable smile, he told them, “Gentlemen, this is a football!” In other words, it was time to get back to basics. Jesus is “the captain of [our] salvation” (Heb 2:10). And before He went back to heaven, He gave us the game plan: “You shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be witnesses to Me in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth” (Ac 1:8 NKJV). And since a person’s last words are some of their most important ones, it leads us to ask this: Who was Jesus talking to? You! “You shall…be witnesses to Me.” There are people around today who will never go to church. Their only chance of hearing the gospel is through you; through what your lips declare and your life demonstrates. What is this “power” Jesus spoke of? The Greek word for “power” is dynamos, from which we get the word dynamite. Dynamite is an explosive force, which when properly harnessed can remove any obstacle that stands in the way of progress. You say, “I have never been to seminary, and I don’t feel qualified to share the gospel!” God doesn’t call the qualified; He qualifies the called by filling them with His Spirit and using them to reach a hurting world. Today you have been called to do that.
God blesses hard work, not laziness
“The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.” 2Th 3:10 NIV
Compassion without accountability is just indulgence. The Bible teaches that we have a responsibility to feed those who are truly hungry and can’t provide for themselves. But let’s face it, there are some folks who would rather go hungry than go to work. Solomon writes, “Laziness casts one into a deep sleep, and an idle person will suffer hunger” (Pr 19:15 NKJV). Centuries later the apostle Paul was even more explicit: “For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: ‘The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.’” Listen to what Solomon says about the sluggard: “The lazy man does not roast what he took in hunting” (Pr 12:27 NKJV). “A lazy man buries his hand in the bowl, and will not so much as bring it to his mouth again” (Pr 19:24 NKJV). Talk about laziness! He wants his bread buttered, but he wants someone else to butter it for him. If he kills a deer while he is hunting, he won’t even clean the meat and cook it; he wants someone else to cook it for him and serve it to him. What’s the Bible talking about here? It’s talking about the person who never starts a job; and if you give them one, they either won’t finish it or they will do it only halfway. Then Solomon wraps it all up in one final zinger. “The desire of the lazy man kills him, for his hands refuse to labor” (Pr 21:25 NKJV). There are no two ways about it; if you want God’s blessing on your life, you have to be willing to work!
How do you raise a juvenile delinquent?
“Sow the wind, and reap the whirlwind.” Hos 8:7 NKJV
According to one Christian leader, here is how: “(1) When your child is still an infant, give him everything he wants. This way he will think the world owes him a living. (2) When he picks up swearing and off-colored jokes, laugh at him, encourage him. As he grows up, he will pick up cuter phrases that will floor you. (3) Never give him any spiritual training. Wait until he is twenty-one and let him decide for himself. (4) Avoid using the word ‘wrong.’ It will give your child a guilt complex. Later, when he is arrested for stealing a car, [he will think] that society is against him and he is being persecuted. (5) Pick up after him—his books, shoes, and clothes. Do everything for him so he will be experienced in throwing all responsibility onto others. (6) Let him read all the printed material he can get his hands on—[don’t monitor his internet use or TV programs]. Sterilize the silverware, but let him feast his mind on garbage. (7) Quarrel frequently in his presence, and then he won’t be too surprised when his home is broken up later. (8) Satisfy his every craving for food, drink, and comfort. Every sensual desire must be gratified; denial may lead to harmful frustrations. (9) Give your child all the spending money he wants. Don’t make him earn his own. Why should he have things as tough as you did? (10) Take his side against neighbors, teachers, and policemen; they’re all against him. (11) When he gets into real trouble, make up excuses for yourself by saying, ‘I could never do anything with him; he’s just a bad seed.’ (12) Prepare for a life of grief.”
The two rules
“From any tree of the garden you may freely eat.” Ge 2:16 NAS
Adam had the perfect job, perfect home, perfect marriage, and the perfect environment; all the things we strive for. So how did it come about? As a result of his relationship with God! God basically gave him two rules to live by: “From any tree of the garden you may freely eat; but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will certainly die” (vv. 16-17 NAS). So, the two rules are these: (1) With God, what you get back is always greater than what you give up. “From any tree of the garden you may freely eat.” But what we so often do—and what legalistic religion does—is look at that Scripture and similar Scriptures and focus on what we can’t do. The truth is, when our list of can’t do’s exceeds our list of what we’re free to do, we have gone far beyond what the Scriptures intended. The Christian life should be measured by what you’re free to enjoy, not by what you’re denied. (2) When you live your life according to God’s Word instead of your own impulses, you’re blessed. “Oh, that their hearts would be inclined to…keep all my commands…so that it might go well with them” (Dt 5:29 NIV). The only thing God denies us is the right to determine for ourselves what’s “good or evil,” because He knows we’re not qualified to do it. We must live by divine revelation rather than human inclination. God in His love and wisdom set this limitation in place to protect and bless us.
Sacrifice and simplify
“Talk of them when you sit in your house, [and] when you walk by the way.” Dt 6:7 NKJV
Dr. Armand Nicholi, a psychiatrist from Harvard University, was invited to speak at a White House conference on the status of the American family. He explained how an overcommitted lifestyle that makes parents inaccessible to their children produces much the same effect as divorce itself. Cross-cultural studies say that parents in the United States spend less time with their children than parents in almost any other nation in the world. For generations fathers have devoted themselves exclusively to their occupations. But today, mothers have joined the workforce, rendering themselves exhausted at night and burdened with domestic duties on weekends. As a result, no one is at home to meet the needs of the lonely preschoolers and latchkey children. Nicholi stressed the undeniable link between the interruption of parent-child relationships and the escalation of psychiatric problems we are seeing. “If the trend continues,” he said, “serious national health problems are inevitable.” Year after year we are seeing more and more children suffering from depression, anxiety disorders and panic attacks. And that figure will continue to grow with the incidence of divorce, child neglect, child abuse, and child molestation continuing to soar. You say, “What’s the answer?” Sacrifice and simplify! Even if it means sacrificing certain material things and simplifying your lifestyle, spend time with your children! God told the Israelites, “You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house.”
The right people and the right environment
“He put them all outside.” Lk 8:54 NKJV
The Bible says: “Someone came from the ruler of the synagogue’s house, saying to him, ‘Your daughter is dead’…when Jesus heard it, He answered him, saying, ‘Do not be afraid; only believe, and she will be made well.’ When He came into the house, He permitted no one to go in except Peter, James, and John, and the father and mother of the girl. Now all wept and mourned for her; but He said, ‘Do not weep; she is not dead, but sleeping.’ And they ridiculed Him, knowing that she was dead. But He put them all outside, took her by the hand and called, saying, ‘Little girl, arise.’ Then her spirit returned, and she arose immediately” (vv. 49-55 NKJV). There is an important lesson here for you. To experience the resurrection power of Christ, you need the right people and the right environment. Just as oil and water won’t mix, neither will faith and doubt. Notice, Jesus took Peter, James, and John into the house with Him, and put all the others outside. Might some have been offended and criticized Him for this? Sure, but when you’re in a crisis, you need to surround yourself with people who can stand with you on God’s Word and believe Him for the answer. When Jairus heard that his daughter had died, he doubtless would have thought, “That’s it; nothing more can be done!” But that’s not what Jesus thought. In the original Greek text, Jesus said, “Don’t be afraid; only believe, and keep believing and she will be made well.” You need people who will keep believing God with you for the answer.
Are you praying for your children?
“Will there not be peace and truth at least in my days?” 2Ki 20:19 NKJV
The Bible says: “Then Isaiah said to Hezekiah, ‘Hear the word of the Lord: “Behold, the days are coming when all that is in your house, and what your fathers have accumulated…shall be carried to Babylon; nothing shall be left,” says the Lord. “And they shall take away some of your sons who will descend from you, whom you will beget; and they shall be eunuchs in the palace of the king of Babylon.”’ So Hezekiah said to Isaiah, ‘The word of the Lord which you have spoken is good!’ For he said, ‘Will there not be peace and truth at least in my days?’” (vv. 16-19 NKJV). Hezekiah heard that the things he had inherited from his forefathers would be lost and his children would live in slavery to their enemies. But instead of being concerned and praying for God to intervene on their behalf, he said, “At least I will have security and comfort during my lifetime.” Why did he say that? Was he callous and indifferent? Was he being selfish, thinking only of himself and not about the welfare of his children? Was he being fatalistic, thinking, “The prophet has declared it, and there is nothing I can do to change it?” Earlier in this chapter when the prophet Isaiah told him, “Set your house in order, for you shall die, and not live,” he cried out to God to spare his life and was given an additional fifteen years of life (See vv. 1-6 NKJV). It seems he was more concerned about his own future than his children’s future. How about you? Are you praying for your children?
The cure for anxiety (3)
“Do not worry and be anxious.” Mt 6:31 AMPC
It’s good to have a goal for the future and a plan for reaching it. But it’s not good to project into the future and worry about all the things that could go wrong. That’s anxiety, and it should have no place in your mind as a redeemed child of God. “Do not worry and be anxious, saying, What are we going to have to eat? or, What are we going to have to drink? or, What are we going to have to wear? For the Gentiles (heathen) wish for and crave and diligently seek all these things, and your heavenly Father knows well that you need them all. But seek (aim at and strive after) first of all His kingdom and His righteousness (His way of doing and being right), and then all these things taken together will be given you besides. So do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own” (vv. 31-34 AMPC). Those Scriptures could be reduced to one line: “Live trusting God each day to take care of you, and stop projecting into the future.” Each morning God gave the Israelites a one-day supply of food. If they tried to gather more, it rotted. God’s message was simple: “Each day I will guide you and provide for you.” Anxiety can consume you. So when you feel anxious, stand on this Scripture: “It is because of the Lord’s mercy and loving-kindness that we are not consumed, because His [tender] compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great and abundant is Your stability and faithfulness” (La 3:22-23 AMPC).