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Pray for the desire to forgive
“Turn thou me, and I shall be turned.” Jer 31:18
When we have been hurt, our first instinct is to retaliate. We know it’s wrong because the Bible says we must forgive in order to be forgiven (See Mk 11:25). We also know that bitterness can hurt us physically and emotionally. But sometimes we can’t bring ourselves to forgive, so we keep wrestling with it in our mind. Stop and think what happens in a wrestling match. You focus on your opponent, clinging to them and trying to control them. Your aim is to put them on the mat and bring them into submission, and it requires all your energy. Plus, you risk getting hurt in the process. The only real power you have over someone who hurts you is the power of forgiveness. So for your own sake, forgive them and move on! Even though you don’t feel like forgiving, pray, “Turn thou me, and I shall be turned; for thou art the Lord my God.” In other words, “Lord, make me willing to forgive.” The old saying, “To err is human, to forgive is divine,” is the truth. Now, small offenses can be forgiven quickly, but big ones require divine assistance. And you can have it: “God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him” (Php 2:13 NLT). Yes, you may want your offender to suffer, but when your greatest desire is to please the Lord, He will give you the grace to forgive. When you realize the blessings God has in store for you in the future, you will refuse to spend another moment stuck in the past.
Do something!
“Let us not love in word…but in deed.” 1Jn 3:18 NKJV
When a multimillionaire was asked how much money it takes to be happy, he replied, “Just a little more.” Now let’s assume you’re not like that, and you care about others. Why are you not more involved in meeting their needs? “Whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him?…let us not love in word…but in deed” (vv. 17-18 NKJV). That Scripture could be reduced to two words: Do something! In the parable of the Good Samaritan, two different ministers walked past a dying man on the Jericho road without stopping to help. Why? Wasn’t this a great opportunity to “practice what you preach?” How did they become so insensitive and uncaring? Did they think, “The problem is too big, there is nothing I can do about it?” Were they so focused on their church’s agenda that they didn’t want to commit the time or the resources necessary to get this man back on his feet? Jesus said: “But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was. And when he saw him, he had compassion. So he went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine; and he set him on his own animal, brought him to an inn, and took care of him” (Lk 10:33-34 NKJV). Note the word “compassion.” The Good Samaritan was willing to get emotionally involved. You must too. Bob Pierce, founder of World Vision, once prayed, “Let my heart be broken with the things that break the heart of God.” The word for you today is—do something!
Overcoming temptation
“Temptation…is common to man.” 1Co 10:13 NKJV
The Bible says, “God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it” (v. 13 NKJV). Our minds are like a hotel. The manager cannot keep someone from entering the lobby, but he can keep them from getting a room. And it’s the same with temptation. When God redeemed you, you became a regenerate spirit living in an unregenerate body. And you were “sealed [by the Holy Spirit] unto the day of redemption” (See Eph 4:30). When you seal an envelope, its contents are protected until it’s delivered to its destination. Getting the idea? Satan can’t prevail against your regenerate spirit, so he attacks you through your lower nature. Paul acknowledged this: “I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway” (Ro 7:19 NLT). You will never be immune to temptation, but you can overcome it. Notice three things in this Scripture: (1) “God is faithful.” Like a shepherd who never abandons his sheep, when you go astray, He will bring you back to the fold. (2) “Will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able.” Like a good coach training you, God will permit the weight of your temptations to strengthen you but not break or destroy you. (3) “With the temptation will also make the way of escape.” If you choose your own way, you will go down in defeat. God’s “way of escape” is through prayer, His Word, Christian fellowship, and Spirit-filled living. That’s how to overcome temptation.
Pray for wisdom (4)
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God.” Jas 1:5 NKJV
Here is a time-tested and proven formula for obtaining wisdom: (1) Acknowledge that you need it. Benjamin Franklin correctly said, “The doorstep to the temple of wisdom is a knowledge of your own ignorance.” (2) Go to the right source. “The Lord gives wisdom” (Pr 2:6 NKJV). He alone can give you true wisdom, because He alone has true wisdom. Indeed, His wisdom makes ours look like foolishness. Paul says, “The foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom” (1Co 1:25 NIV). Think about that. If God were capable of a stupid thought, which He is not, it would still be wiser than the wisest thought we could ever conceive. (3) Ask for it. God doesn’t hoard his wisdom; He is ready to give it away. Solomon says: “If you call out for insight…cry aloud for understanding…look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding” (Pr 2:3-6 NIV). James writes: “If any of you need wisdom, you should ask God, and it will be given to you. God is generous and won’t correct you for asking. But when you ask for something, you must have faith and not doubt. Anyone who doubts is like an ocean wave tossed around in a storm. If you are that kind of person, you can’t make up your mind, and you surely can’t be trusted. So don’t expect the Lord to give you anything at all” (Jas 1:5-8 CEV). Today, pray for wisdom.
Pray for wisdom (2)
“Wisdom is worth much more than…anything else you desire.” Pr 8:11 CEV
When King Solomon asked God for wisdom instead of power, fame, or riches, God told him: “You could have asked me to make you rich or famous or to let you live a long time. Or you could have asked for your enemies to be destroyed. Instead, you asked for wisdom and knowledge to rule my people. So I will make you wise and intelligent. But I will also make you richer and more famous than any king before or after you” (2Ch 1:11-12 CEV). Did God keep His promise? Well, consider this: What would you get if you crossed Mickey Mouse, an Arab oil sheikh, the president of the United States, and Socrates? The most famous, richest, most powerful, wisest person on the planet! That’s a fitting description of King Solomon in his time. He ruled the world’s greatest empire. His merchant ships plied the seas, bringing him back the treasures of the earth. He designed and built some of the world’s most important buildings, including the temple. He constructed reservoirs, parks, gardens, and vineyards. He mastered commerce, science, and literature. He became a poet laureate, a distinguished writer, and a gifted musician. He learned the incredible worth of wisdom, enjoyed all its benefits, and wrote: “Let instruction and knowledge mean more to you than silver or the finest gold. Wisdom is worth much more than precious jewels or anything else you desire” (Pr 8:10-11 CEV). There are thirty-one chapters in the book of Proverbs—one for every day of the month—so here is a suggestion: Why don’t you read a chapter a day for the next twelve months and become wise?
How to protect your family
“Take…blood and smear it on the sides and top of the doorframes of the houses.” Ex 12:7 NLT
On the night of the Passover, God told Moses that the angel of death would come and eliminate all the firstborn males in Egypt. Then He gave a specific plan of protection to the children of Israel. He said each household must take a lamb and spread its blood “on the sides and top of the doorframes of the houses.” Try to imagine that! On the night of judgment when the angel of death looked at their houses, because they were “under” the blood, “surrounded” by the blood, and “seen” through the blood, they were saved. Sometimes when we pray, we say, “Father, I come to you in the name of Jesus and on the merits of His shed blood, and I ask you to…” Why do we pray that way? Because the Bible tells us that God responds to (a) the name of Jesus, whose sacrifice on our behalf He has fully accepted, and (b) the blood of Jesus, which satisfies all His claims against us—past, present, and future. Among the many things that you may be able to do for your family, none is more important or significant than praying for them every day. When you say, “Father, by an act of faith, I cover this member of my family with the precious blood of Jesus,” you protect them from spiritually destructive influences that if left to their own devices can tear your family apart. You say, “I don’t quite understand all of that!” You don’t have to. Just do it—and God will honor you and bless your family!
Work on your character
“The righteous man walks in his integrity.” Pr 20:7 NKJV
When the Bible speaks of integrity, it means having a good character. And good character sets boundaries. It may not always determine what you will do, but it always determines what you won’t do. Character lets you realize how much you’re willing to pay to get what you want. When someone in a relationship has no character, they’re dangerous. The writer of Proverbs says, “The righteous man walks in his integrity; his children are blessed after him.” Character doesn’t have to be in the spotlight, excessively running the show. And it doesn’t resort to intimidation or shaming to get its own way. The person who thinks he or she can get what they want by lying, cheating, or manipulating is sadly mistaken. Understand this: No matter where you go, the real you will eventually show up! And if you don’t work on your character, you won’t be able to build healthy relationships. Genuine relationships require integrity; someone who shows consistent character in all circumstances; someone who plays by the rules and can be relied upon; someone who offers credit where credit is due; someone who lives by faith; someone who trusts God to enable them to accomplish all that he or she was created and called to do. The Bible tells us the wicked may prosper for a season, but they will not endure. And ultimately, they will most certainly not triumph (See Pr 11:21). The psalmist says, “The integrity of the upright will guide them, but the perversity of the unfaithful will destroy them” (Pr 11:3 NKJV). So, the word for you today is—work on your character.
Handling temptation (2)
“The joy of the Lord is your strength.” Ne 8:10 NIV
Ever notice when you’re hungry, everything on the menu looks good? Similarly, when your soul is dissatisfied, sin looks tempting. That’s why you must always be spiritually self-aware and monitor your level of soul satisfaction. On the dashboard of your car are lights that tell you how hot the engine is running or when you’re about to run out of oil. They’re sometimes referred to as “idiot lights,” because only an idiot would ignore them. The main light on the dashboard of your heart is your “soul-satisfaction” light. That’s why in the Bible there are so many Scriptures that call us to joy: “The joy of the Lord is your strength.” “You will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand” (Ps 16:11 NIV). “With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation” (Isa 12:3 NIV). “Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete” (Jn 16:24 NIV). So, why do otherwise intelligent people keep getting snared? Because when we’re dissatisfied with our lives, we’re vulnerable to temptation. And the deeper our level of discontent, the more susceptible we are. We were made for soul satisfaction; we can’t live without it. And if we don’t find it in our relationship with God, we will look for it in all the wrong places. Paul says, “The kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit” (Ro 14:17 NIV). Note the words “joy in the Holy Spirit.” The secret to joy lies in Spirit-directed living—it always has, and it always will.
Worship your way through it
“The lad and I will go yonder and worship, and we will come back to you.” Ge 22:5 NKJV
Imagine having to offer your child on an altar as a sacrifice to God. And God doesn’t tell you why! Here is what Abraham said to the two young men who accompanied him on the most difficult journey of his life: “Stay here…the lad and I will go yonder and worship, and we will come back [both of us!].” Abraham’s commitment to God was unwavering: “I will worship my way through this and come back stronger!” Worry and worship are total opposites. And we will be much happier when we learn to become worshipers instead of worriers. Worry causes an opening for the Enemy to torment us, but worship guides us into God’s presence where we unfailingly find peace, joy, and hope. We were created to worship God (See Rev 4:11). When nothing else works, worship does because it places our entire focus on Him. God is good even while our circumstances aren’t. So, stop worrying; give your concerns to God, and live in His grace. Grace isn’t just divine favor; it’s power and divine enablement! Don’t squander another day of your life worrying. Determine what your role is and what it isn’t. Don’t attempt to take on God’s responsibility. When you do what you can do, God steps in and does what you can’t do. Present yourself and your worries to God, worship Him, and start enjoying the abundant life He provides for you. The moment you recognize you are worrying, disrupt your wrong thought patterns by saying, “I will not worry. I will worship you, Lord. You are good, and I completely trust You.”
The secret of self-control
“Set your minds and keep them set on what is above (the higher things).” Col 3:2 AMPC
To have a disciplined life, you must have a disciplined mind. Jesus said Satan’s threefold purpose is to “steal, and to kill, and to destroy” (Jn 10:10). And you forget it at your own peril! In your own strength, you’re no match for Satan, but God will give you strength to overcome his strategies and exercise self-control. And the Bible tells us how: “Set your minds and keep them set on what is above (the higher things), not on the things that are on the earth.” Note the words “set your minds and keep them set.” Many cars come with speed control. When you reach the speed limit, you simply “set” the car’s computer by pushing a lever or hitting a button and the car maintains that speed. It won’t go above it or drop beneath it. Similarly, when your mind is programmed with God’s Word, you “set” your thoughts and desires on that which pleases God rather than that which satisfies the cravings of your lower nature. Self-discipline is the price of freedom. When you’re controlled by your impulses, you’re not free, you’re a slave. Even legitimate things can enslave you. The saying goes, “Too much of a good thing quickly becomes a bad thing!” Paul writes: “Everything is permissible (allowable and lawful) for me; but not all things are helpful (good for me to do, expedient and profitable when considered with other things)…I will not become the slave of anything or be brought under its power” (1Co 6:12 AMPC). So, the secret of self-control is to program your mind with God’s Word.
Commit to the relationship (3)
“Now Jonathan again caused David to vow, because he loved him.” 1Sa 20:17 NKJV
For a relationship to succeed, both parties must be totally committed to it. Today let’s look at some more of the reasons why we may be afraid to commit. (1) Consider whether you have real feelings for your partner or whether you are biding your time until somebody better comes along. In other words, be honest with yourself because your happiness depends on it. (2) Talk about your specific fears with your partner. One writer offers these: “I’m afraid you will try to change me”; “I’ll feel emasculated if you don’t submit to me”; “If the marriage fails, you may take my money and leave me impoverished”; “You may restrict too much of my time with the boys”; “You may require too much of my attention.” You must honestly share your feelings and request feedback to your concerns. (3) Try a thirty-day interval of “no contact” with your romantic interest and find out how life would feel without him or her. Some noncommitted relationships are merely for convenience, so assess your feelings apart from the inconvenience you will endure. Convenience is a weak foundation for a marriage. (4) Reexamine your expectations. Don’t expect your partner to fulfill every facet of your life. For example, if you have a need for high adventure that’s manifested in bungee jumping, find friends to enjoy it with, and be happy that your partner is faithful, loving, and laughs a lot. And one more thought: There is an emptiness within each of us that only God can fill. And when He does, we require less from our partner and learn how to become a better partner.
Commit to the relationship (1)
“For wherever you go, I will go.” Ru 1:16 NKJV
One of the greatest Scriptures on commitment in the Bible are the words of Ruth to Naomi: “Entreat me not to leave you, or to turn back from following after you; for wherever you go, I will go; and wherever you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God, my God.” Why are we afraid to commit to a relationship? (1) Fear of losing control: “Why forgo my independence?” (2) Fear of lack: “What if he or she ruins my finances?” (3) Fear of inadequacy: “What if I can’t meet his or her expectations?” (4) Fear of loneliness: “What if he or she deserts me?” (5) Fear of pain: “I’ve been hurt before, and I don’t want to be hurt again.” So, what do you do? Today the answer has become a “trial marriage,” but it doesn’t work. Living together without marriage is like renting a room versus buying a house. If a repair is necessary for the rented room, the renters are apt to abandon the room for another. If a repair is necessary for their home, the owners make the required commitment to protect their investment. Psychology Today reported the discoveries of Yale University sociologist Neil Bennett that cohabitating women who later married were 80 percent more prone to separate or divorce than women who had lived apart from their spouses before marriage. Contrary to what you may think, those who play around and move from relationship to relationship don’t experience lasting happiness. Whereas, those who commit themselves to God and to one another experience true and lasting happiness.
Growing older with grace (2)
“They will prolong your life many years and bring you peace and prosperity.” Pr 3:2 NIV
By the year 2030, one in five of us will be seventy years of age or older. That’s about 20 percent of the world’s population. Millions of us will live to be a hundred or more. When asked at his birthday party how he felt about turning eighty, President Dwight D. Eisenhower replied, “It sure does beat the alternative!” Anita Bogan died in 2007 at the ripe old age of 106. Her obituary in the Los Angeles Times read: “Blessed with good health and a sound mind, Bogan spent most of her old age doing what she wanted to do, with a feisty, what’s-age-got-to-do-with-it attitude. In the decades following her 80th year, she created a non-profit foundation to build senior housing…opened a floral shop, played golf daily…took cruises to celebrate her…birthdays…and inspired people. On Bogan’s 100th birthday, the Kern County Board of Supervisors declared an ‘Anita Bogan Day.’” By her attitude toward life, Anita changed the way people around her viewed aging. And the Bible doesn’t just promise long life, it promises quality life. “My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you peace and prosperity” (vv. 1-2 NIV). “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. For through wisdom your days will be many, and years will be added to your life” (Pr 9:10-11 NIV). The secret of enjoying the aging process is to build a close relationship with God and live according to His principles.
Let your children enjoy their childhood
“I will lead on slowly, at the pace of…the children.” Ge 33:14 ESV
Today there is a tendency on the part of some parents to try and make their children grow up too quickly. They rush them through the milestones of childhood and thrust them into the turmoils of adolescence. This is the conclusion of developmental psychologist Dr. David Elkind, who called this cultural phenomenon the “Hurried Child Syndrome.” It happens when parents encourage their children to act like teenagers, such as buying makeup for preschool girls, allowing early-teenage dating, treating kids more like grown-ups, expecting them to make adult-level choices, dressing them in designer clothes, and especially, subjecting them to graphic sexuality in television, music videos, movies, and the internet. Years ago, parents understood the necessity of a safe and orderly progression through childhood. There were cultural markers that defined the ages at which specific behaviors and activities were deemed appropriate or inappropriate. Today these markers have vanished, or they have been moved downward. And it can be a big mistake. When you treat your children as if they’re already grown, it becomes very challenging to set limits on their adolescent behavior in the near future. How can you establish a curfew for a thirteen-year-old, for example, who has been taught to view himself or herself as an adult? In short, the “Hurried Child Syndrome” deprives our kids of childhood and puts them on an unnatural timetable that’s detrimental to their mental and physical health. If you’re wise, you will heed the advice of Jacob to his brother Esau: “I will lead on slowly, at the pace of…the children.”
Prophecy fulfilled
“Declaring…from ancient times things that are not yet done.” Isa 46:10 NKJV
How can you be sure the Bible is divinely inspired and therefore worthy of your trust? By prophecy fulfilled! No other religion has specific, repeated, and unfailing fulfillment of predictions made many years in advance of events over which the predictor had no control. Finite human beings know the future only if it’s told to them by an infinite being. And God provided this evidence for us so we would know that the Scriptures have a divine author: “For I am God…Declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times things that are not yet done” (vv. 9-10 NKJV). The Bible’s sixty-six books, written between 1400 BC and AD 90, contain approximately 3,856 verses concerned with prophecy. And here is the best part! Over 25 percent of the entire Bible contains specific predictive prophecies that have already been fulfilled—literally. Sir Isaac Newton said, “I find more sure marks of authenticity in the Bible than in any profane history whatsoever.” You ask, “Then how come some people don’t believe the Bible?” Because they haven’t opened their hearts to God! Paul writes: “No one knows the things of God except the Spirit of God. Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might know the things that have been freely given to us by God. These things we also speak, not in words which man’s wisdom teaches but which the Holy Spirit teaches…the natural man does not receive the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; nor can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned” (1Co 2:11-14 NKJV).
Sin is bad for you
“We can come to God with bold confidence.” 1Jn 3:21 NLT
When you knowingly sin, it puts your body under stress. There is actually no such thing as a “lie detector test.” The fact is, the test cannot determine if someone is lying. It simply measures how a person’s response to certain questions impacts their nervous system. God designed our system to glorify Him (See 1Co 6:19-20). So when you sin, it negatively impacts your body. Even if you have never taken a polygraph exam, you can agree that when you have lied, you probably experienced an increase in your heart rate. So when God tells you not to sin, He is not trying to steal your joy but preserve it. Sin robs you of three things: (1) Comfort. “‘There is no peace for the wicked,’ says the Lord” (Isa 48:22 NLT). When you knowingly violate your values, you become uneasy in your own skin. (2) Character. Your reputation is how others see you, but your character is what you see when you look at yourself in the mirror each day. Your thoughts determine your deeds, your deeds determine your habits, your habits determine your character, and your character determines your destiny. (3) Confidence. Nothing in life is more important than to be able to approach God with confidence. “If we don’t feel guilty, we can come to God with bold confidence. And we will receive from him whatever we ask because we obey him and do the things that please him” (1Jn 3:21-22 NLT). So the next time Satan tempts you to sin, stop and do the math. By looking at the bottom-line result, you will be able to make the right choice every time.
You have only two options: forgiveness or bitterness
“How often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him?” Mt 18:21 NKJV
The Bible says, “Then Peter came to Him and said, ‘Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?’ Jesus said to him…‘up to seventy times seven’” (vv. 21-22 NKJV). Seventy times seven equals 490 times. And it’s your “brother,” someone you have to live or work with, whom you’re called to forgive. In essence Jesus was saying, “Forgive, and keep on forgiving if you want to have a relationship with this person.” Let’s face it, we all make mistakes because we’re flawed in different ways. Perfection only exists in God. Recall Jesus’ words: “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Lk 23:34). Truer words have never been spoken, and very few concepts are more significant to remember in a relationship. While it’s perfectly normal to feel anger, and a natural human reaction to feel mistreated, there is a big difference between healthy anger and the corrosive emotion of bitterness. Bitterness is relational cancer. As Dr. Maya Angelou said, “[Bitterness] feeds upon the host. It does nothing to the object of the displeasure.” In this case, the “host” is your relationship, and forgiveness is the medication and the cure. Jesus said, “As ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise” (Lk 6:31). Offering the degree of forgiveness you wish to receive ensures that your relationship stays healthy and free from the disease of bitterness. Is it sometimes hard to do? Yes, but if you pray, God will give you the grace to do it!
All you need to know
“Be still, and know that I am God.” Ps 46:10 NIV
If Job had a weakness, it was his tongue. He talked excessively. Not that you could blame him. After being hit by calamity, there wasn’t a wall standing in his house or a loved one living. And his wife, empathetic soul that she was, told him to “curse God, and die” (Job 2:9). Then his four friends with the bedside manner of drill sergeants told him he had probably brought all this trouble on himself. We’re thirty-seven chapters into the book of Job before God speaks a word. Chapter 38 begins, “Then the Lord answered Job.” And after God got through speaking, Job said, “I am not worthy; I cannot answer you anything, so I will put my hand over my mouth” (40:4 NCV). Notice, before he heard from God, Job couldn’t talk enough. But after he heard from Him, he couldn’t talk at all. The only thing Job got right was: “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him” (13:15 NKJV). Sometimes the best way to handle your problem is to trust and not talk. To submit and not speak. Job didn’t know it at the time, but God’s plan was to give him twice as much in the end as he had lost. And it happened when he stopped focusing on his own problems and started praying for his friends (See 42:10). So, be still. Be open and willing. God is still on the throne. He is in control of every detail of your life. Even in the worst of circumstances, He has your best interest at heart. “The Lord will vindicate me” (Ps 138:8 NIV). That’s all you need to know!
Pray for wisdom (3)
“The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom.” Pr 4:7 NIV
Why does the Bible talk so much about Solomon’s wisdom? Because it’s not human wisdom raised to a supernatural height; it’s supernatural wisdom lowered to human understanding. Lest you think the water is too deep and wisdom is beyond you, listen to what Solomon, the wisest man in the world, said: “Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you. The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding. Cherish her, and she will exalt you; embrace her, and she will honor you” (vv. 6-8 NIV). Along those lines Haddon Robinson observes: “Since 1955 knowledge has doubled every five years…High school graduates today have been exposed to more information about the world than Plato, Aristotle, Spinoza, or Benjamin Franklin. In terms of facts alone, neither Moses nor Paul could pass a college entrance exam today. Yet, by everyone’s standards, even with all our knowledge…society today is peopled with a bumper crop of brilliant failures…men and women…educated to earn a living often don’t know anything about handling life itself. Alumni from noted universities have mastered information about a narrow slice of life—but couldn’t make it out of the first grade when it comes to living successfully with family and friends. Let’s face it. Knowledge is not enough to meet life’s problems. We need wisdom, the ability to handle life with skill.” Spurgeon once said, “There is no fool so great a fool as a knowing fool; but to know how to use knowledge is to have wisdom.” Bottom line: The more information you’re exposed to, the more you need to pray for wisdom.
Pray for wisdom (1)
“Now give me wisdom.” 2Ch 1:10 NKJV
When King Solomon ascended to the throne, God told him, “Ask! What shall I give you?” (v. 7 NKJV). Imagine: Solomon was given carte blanche by the One in whose dictionary the word impossible doesn’t occur. But there was a catch! God was testing Solomon to find out what was in his heart. An arrogant person would have asked for fame. A worldly person would have asked for wealth. A self-seeking person would have asked for power. What did Solomon ask God for? “Now give me wisdom.” So, God granted Solomon’s request and gave him something more gratifying than fame, more extravagant than wealth, and more thrilling than power. As it turned out, all the material blessings Solomon enjoyed were by-products of the gift of wisdom. An anonymous thinker wrote: “Tell me your dreams, and I will tell you the riddle of your life. Tell me your prayers, and I will write the history of your soul. Tell me your askings, and I will tell you your gettings. Tell me what you seek, and I will tell you what you are…I do not wish to know your possessions…only your wants. I do not care to know what you have, only what you have not and desire to have; not your attainments, but what you have not yet attained and follow after; that which comes to you in your victories by day and your dreams by night, the ideal you set before you, the things you approve as excellent, what you seek after and have given your heart to, these are the measure of a man.” So, pray for wisdom.
Stay excited about your relationship
“Always be enraptured with her [or his] love.” Pr 5:19 NKJV
When you first met your husband or wife and fell in love, you thought about them day and night. You couldn’t wait to be together; you hung on every word they spoke. The relationship was stimulating and exciting because you engaged each other’s minds, excited each other’s emotions, and ignited each other’s imagination on a wide range of life’s topics. But numerous marriages don’t survive because they die of boredom. One partner gets involved in an affair, or the other becomes addicted to porn or some other deviant behavior because they’re bored in the relationship. That’s not an excuse for wrongdoing, but boredom functions like low-grade poison; it takes an unavoidable toll on each of you. The secret to a good marriage lies in finding ways to keep improving yourself, then bringing that to the table of your relationship. Learn something new about your husband’s career field. Care about the details of your wife’s day. Have a shared dream you’re working toward and talk about it. When you’re engaged in another person’s life, you fortify their desire to share more about their day and themselves. And here is something else to keep in mind: It’s important for you to have a life outside of the person you’re interested in. Partners who want to grow together realize they must encourage each other to nurture friendships, hobbies, and interests independently. Exciting people excite each other! They understand how to develop their own lives without disregarding the shared life they have together. That’s what the Bible means when it says, “Always be enraptured with her [or his] love.”
Handling temptation (3)
“Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.” Mt 6:13 NIV
In the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus taught us to pray, “Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.” Understand this: Satan is always trying to lead you into temptation, whereas the Holy Spirit who lives within you is always trying to deliver you from temptation. It is informative that while the Devil is named the tempter, he is also named the accuser. “For the accuser of our brothers and sisters, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down” (Rev 12:10 NIV). There is no such thing as fair play with the Devil. As soon as he gets you to give in to temptation, he will switch hats and try to convince you that because you have yielded to it, you’re beyond God’s grace and redemption. But Satan is a liar, and there is no truth in him. It’s only when you deny your sin and reject God’s mercy that you’re beyond redemption. The Bible says: “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1Jn 1:8-9 NIV). Some people are delivered from temptation instantly; others battle it for a long time before finding deliverance and victory. It’s never a matter of God’s unwillingness to extend grace to us but of our inability to receive it. So whether you come the easy way or the hard way, as long as your desire is to come to God, “He will also provide a way out” (1Co 10:13 NIV).
Handling temptation (1)
“When you are tempted, he will also provide a way out.” 1Co 10:13 NIV
Jesus said, “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers” (Lk 10:30 NIV). Jerusalem represented the place of God’s favor, whereas Jericho was cursed by Joshua when God leveled its walls (See Jos 6:26). The road connecting the two cities was teeming with robbers, so was this man’s intention to travel part of the way, then get off? The Bible doesn’t say, but one thing we do know is God goes to great lengths to keep us from going down the road to temptation and getting hurt. And even with all His safeguards in place, we still manage to get into trouble. First, you stop listening to the promptings of His Spirit. Second, you’re unwilling to pray about certain desires with a submitted heart. Third, you’re not interested in talking to a trusted friend who will hold you accountable. Fourth, you don’t want to know what the Bible says about the matter. You have unilaterally decided to quench the Spirit so you can indulge your fleshly impulses. Remember, there is always free food on the end of a fishhook, but while temptation promises freedom, it ends up costing you. David’s affair wrecked his family. Real freedom isn’t about having the liberty to gratify your every appetite; it’s about refusing to become a slave to unhealthy desires. The battle against temptation is noble, but if all you do is struggle to repress your desires, eventually they will wear you down. You need to maintain a clear mental image of the kind of person God wants you to be and cooperate with His Spirit to become that person.
“Fix” your mind and change your life
“Think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them].” Php 4:8 AMPC
Paul writes: “Whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them]” (v. 8 AMPC). If you are serious about wanting a better life, you must change the way you think. The best way to stop thinking about something is simply to think about something else. When you don’t enjoy a certain TV program, what do you do? Switch channels! Does the channel you don’t like no longer exist? No, it’s there anytime you choose to switch back to it. Likewise, when you find yourself stuck in a repeated thought pattern that’s detrimental to you—one that plays like a broken record in your mind—take action. Refuse to loan your mind to the Devil for his scheme. The only place a thought can live is in your mind. The only power a thought has over you is the power you give it. God says, “I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life” (Dt 30:19). God gives you the options, but He won’t exercise them for you. Choosing the right thought is like flipping a light switch; it dispels darkness and illuminates the room. Your most dominant thoughts will control your life, so make sure they line up with God’s Word. Today “fix” your mind and change your life.
Commit to the relationship (4)
“Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” Am 3:3 NKJV
Benjamin Franklin’s formula for a happy marriage was this: “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.” One of the reasons marriages end in divorce is because we see only what we want to see. And if we saw obvious faults that could destroy the relationship, we allowed our heart to overrule our head and thought, “He or she will change after I marry them.” What you turn a blind eye to today, you forfeit the right to complain about tomorrow. So if you’re wise, you will do these two things before you make the decision to marry someone: (1) Discuss openly what you will and will not accept in your relationship. These things are called “deal breakers.” Things like abuse, infidelity, alcohol and drug abuse, anger and moodiness, and buying stuff you can’t afford. If you think breaking up with someone now is painful, wait until you’re married with children, and mortgages and families are involved! The Bible says, “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” (2) If there are no deal-breaking concerns, but you basically fear the unknown, use your faith in God to bridge the gap between your doubts and the peace you wish for. Don’t invent reasons not to commit. Stop nit-picking every flaw in the other person. The Bible says, “His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor…Prince of Peace” (Isa 9:6 NKJV). Pray together and give the “Wonderful, Counselor” a chance to guide you in your relationship choice. God instituted marriage; when you do it His way, you can enter the highest halls of human happiness.
Commit to the relationship (2)
“The two shall become one.” Mt 19:5 NKJV
The word commit means “to bind, or obligate, or pledge.” And for some of us, it evokes pictures of servitude, restraints, and the loss of our freedom. In other words, it frightens us. Today as women become more economically empowered, some of them have also become more reluctant to commit to a relationship in which the Bible says the husband is called to be a leader in the home (See Eph 5:22-24). But it’s typically the man, however, who desires to keep the relationship fluid and flexible so he can use his stay-or-leave option whenever he wants. The partner desiring the commitment finds such a relationship frustrating and unfulfilling. So, what should you do if you’re reluctant to commit to the relationship? Two things: (1) Be honest with yourself about your fears, feelings, and motivations. David said, “You desire truth in the inward parts, and in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom” (Ps 51:6 NKJV). Notice, wisdom comes from being honest about what is going on inside you. What are your memories of your parents’ marriage and how it affected you? Have you observed similar patterns of behavior on your own part or that of your potential mate when it comes to dealing with relationships? (2) Admit the role you may have played, even as an enabler of poor behavior, in the collapse of a former relationship. Have you changed now? Are you willing to? If so, then here is God’s promise to you of a better future: “Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing” (Isa 43:18-19 NKJV).
God has not forsaken you
“You will deny Me three times.” Lk 22:61 NKJV
The Bible says, “Peter remembered the word of the Lord…‘Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times.’ So Peter went out and wept bitterly” (vv. 61-62 NKJV). What is it that saves us? Our good works? No, it’s our faith in Christ. “By grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: not of works, lest any man should boast” (Eph 2:8-9). Now you understand the words of Christ to Peter: “I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail” (Lk 22:32 NKJV). When you have faith in Christ, you can bounce back. When it comes to God’s grace, there is no statute of limitations. Peter denied Jesus not once but repeatedly. Perhaps that’s your story too! This wasn’t a moment that Peter would be proud of but an experience he would grow stronger as a result of. When someone fails badly, we say that they “crash and burn.” And when something is burned, all that’s left is ashes. But we serve a God of restoration who gives “beauty for ashes” (See Isa 61:3). If you had seen Peter swearing that he didn’t know the Lord, would you have picked him to be your pastor? God did. He made him the head of the New Testament church. We tell people, “Don’t get into messes” and “Don’t sin.” And that’s good advice—God doesn’t want us sinning. But we should really say, “Don’t walk headfirst into sin when you know better. But when you fail, as you surely will, turn to God and He will restore you and use your failure to strengthen you.”
Growing older with grace (1)
“If you respect the Lord, you will live longer.” Pr 10:27 CEV
Does the thought of aging make you anxious? If so, it’s time to re-examine your value system. With God, the contents are more important than the package. And in order to make peace with your wrinkles, you must come into agreement with Him. Ultimately, it’s not the number of days in your life that count but the quality of life in your days. Jesus’ first miracle was turning water into wine. Note what the host of the wedding reception said: “Everyone brings out the choice wine first…but you have saved the best till now” (Jn 2:10 NIV). And that can be the story of your life too. You don’t have to suffer from gerascophobia, the fear of aging. Keep fighting, keep growing, keep moving forward. Listen to the words of Caleb: “For my part, I wholeheartedly followed the Lord my God…Moses solemnly promised me, ‘The land of Canaan on which you were just walking will be your grant of land and that of your descendants forever’…Now, as you can see, the Lord has kept me alive and well as he promised for all these forty-five years since Moses made this promise—even while Israel wandered in the wilderness. Today I am eighty-five years old. I am as strong now as I was when Moses sent me on that journey, and I can still travel and fight as well as I could then. So give me the hill country that the Lord promised me…So Joshua blessed Caleb…and gave Hebron to him as his portion of land” (Jos 14:8-13 NLT). That’s called “growing older with grace.”
You belong to God
“Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!” Ps 139:14 NLT
Do you remember the old TV series The Six Million Dollar Man? He was built and equipped with nuclear-powered bionic limbs and implants. Well, he has nothing on you! You’re unique…one of a kind…a genuine marvel of God’s creative genius. For example, your tongue; four hundred little taste buds, each one capable of discerning the difference between asparagus and lemon meringue pie. And how about your intestinal system? Twenty million little mouths capable of digesting almost anything. Then, there is your cooling system. Frigidaire has nothing like it; three hundred fifty thousand sweat glands per square inch. And how about your sensory system? A network of ten million nerves, the branches of which send and interpret messages and also formulate a response for each. You’re one in seven billion! Nobody else has your voice pattern, fingerprints, or DNA. When you were born, God didn’t stop and say, “What are we going to do with this one?” No, you were given your Father’s name (See Isa 43:1). You were bought with a price (See 1Co 6:20). You were made a member of His redeemed family (See 1Jn 3:2). Your steps are ordered by him (See Ps 37:23). He has already planned your success (See Jer 29:11). He loved you when you were unlovable and chose you before you could do either right or wrong. Doesn’t that give Him the right to say, “I want your praise and obedience, I want you to spend time with Me, I want you to read the letters I’ve written to you, and I don’t want anybody or anything to come between us”? The word for you today is—you belong to God!
Don’t quarrel about it
“Stop before a dispute breaks out.” Pr 17:14 NLT
Have you seen the bumper sticker that reads, “People who think they know it all are especially annoying to those of us who do?” You will find know-it-alls everywhere. Older people afraid of uselessness struggle to prove they still have some superior amount of knowledge. Religious people use their convictions like a club to beat others over the head. The Bible says, “Earnestly contend for the faith” (Jude v. 3). But there is a difference between contending and being contentious. Paul writes: “Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful” (2Ti 2:23-24 NIV). Note these four phrases: (1) “Must not be quarrelsome.” Don’t argue, just plant the seeds of God’s Word and trust the Holy Spirit to work in people’s hearts. (2) “Be kind to everyone.” There is no need to be hostile, demeaning, or disagreeable with someone who doesn’t share your viewpoint. What’s driving you toward such unkindness? Must you prove people mistaken to validate your self-worth? (3) “Able to teach.” Instead of trying to force your opinions on someone, simply say, “Here is what I have discovered in God’s Word, and here is the difference it has made in my life.” Your experience is never at the mercy of someone else’s argument. (4) “Not resentful.” Only when your own hurts have been healed can God use you to heal the hurts of others. So, pray: “Father, make me an instrument of peace so that people will be open to the truths you reveal to them through me. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.”