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Showing love and respect
“Love one another…giving precedence and showing honor to one another.” Ro 12:10 AMPC
One of the first signs of trouble in a marriage is taking each other for granted. And it happens subtly, like a weed growing up and choking a rose. Dr. James Dobson writes: “One of the best ways to keep a marriage healthy is to maintain a system of mutual accountability within the context of love. This is done by protecting what I call the ‘line of respect’…Let me illustrate. Suppose I work in my office two hours longer than usual…knowing that my wife, Shirley, is at home preparing a special candlelight dinner. If I don’t call to let her know I’ll be late, you can bet that I’m going to hear about it when I get home. Shirley would see my behavior as insulting—and she’d be right. So she’d say, in effect, ‘Jim, what you did was selfish, and I can’t let it pass.’ In those few words, and probably a few more, she would have spoken her mind in love and held me accountable for my disrespect. Then we would move on together. In a healthy marriage, some things are worth defending, and mutual respect is at the top of the list. This doesn’t mean you should nag, insult, publicly embarrass your mate, or point out insignificant indiscretions that should be overlooked. But a workable system of ‘checks and balances’ can keep your marriage on course when issues of respect are at stake. This kind of mutual accountability is the best way I know to avoid an unexpected explosion when stored resentment and anger reach a critical mass.” So: “Love one another…giving precedence and showing honor to one another.”
Do you have an attitude of entitlement?
“By love serve one another.” Gal 5:13
Do you have an “I-O-YOU” attitude or a “U-O-ME” attitude? What gives us an attitude of entitlement? It’s found in the middle of the word entitlement itself: “title.” We assume people owe us because of the title we hold in their lives: wife, husband, mother, brother, daughter, friend, pastor, donor, employee, boss, etc. We think of our title as a title deed that gives us the right to whatever advantage we expect. Paul described the essence of discipleship in these words: “By love serve one another.” If you have an attitude of entitlement, here are some strategies to help you overcome it: (1) Understand the difference between your “rights” and your “desires.” You have the right to expect your husband or wife to be faithful to you, but you don’t have the right to expect them to wait on you hand and foot. “For God so loved…that he gave” (Jn 3:16). True love is marked by giving, not taking. (2) Live by the Golden Rule (See Mt 7:12). Jesus said that whatever you want others to do for you, take the initiative and begin doing it for them. You say, “But what if they don’t return the favor?” God will reward you anyway! “He will not forget how hard you have worked for him and how you have shown your love to him by caring for other believers, as you still do” (Heb 6:10 NLT). (3) Never assume that a person’s past kindness creates an ongoing obligation to you. God may use others to bless you, but He alone must always be the source you trust to meet your needs (See Jas 1:17).
Try to be more gentle
“We were gentle among you.” 1Th 2:7 NKJV
Wrecking balls are used to demolish things, but they’re useless in the building process. With that picture in mind, ask yourself, “Do I use the force of my personality and the power of my position to impose my will on people and get them to do things my way?” If your answer is yes, then understand this: Those who are the most controlling are often the most afraid of being controlled! Question: What do you fear would happen if you treated others with respect and considered their input, ideas, and choices? Are fear and intimidation the only ways you can imagine of holding on to relationships? Wouldn’t you rather earn the love of others by being considerate rather than cruel, or are you willing to settle for fearful submission? If you need to, talk to a friend or counselor and try to get to the root of the deeper issues that are driving your behavior. Over the next week, try not to criticize or rob anyone of his or her right to choose. Remember that even God gives people the power of choice. And you’re not God. Keep this challenge going for two more weeks or for as long as it takes to get your controlling attitude under control. Paul was prolific enough to write the epistles and powerful enough to raise the dead, yet he said, “We were gentle among you, just as a nursing mother cherishes her own children” (v. 7 NKJV). When people made mistakes, Paul said, “Restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted” (Gal 6:1 NKJV). So, the word for you today is—try to be more gentle.
Are you being led or being driven?
“The thing…you are doing is not good. You will surely wear out.” Ex 18:17-18 NAS
Do you feel like there isn’t enough of you to go around? Like you’re on the cliff’s edge and about to go over? Perhaps because you’re doing much more than God intended you to do. You see, when God reveals His purpose for your life, He also gives you His power to carry it out. Usually it’s simple and remarkably sane. One of the surest ways to know you are walking in God’s will is that you will feel led, not driven. Are you resting less and working more? Are you praying and reading your Bible less and worrying more? Maybe, like Moses, you’re dashing from one appointment to another: eating on the run, meeting deadlines, and trying to solve everybody’s problems while your own pile up. Others may have been impressed, but Moses’ father-in-law, Jethro, wasn’t. “What is this thing…you are doing…?” he asked (v. 14 NAS). Not surprisingly, Moses became defensive. Too-busy people usually are. He attempted to justify his schedule, but Jethro didn’t buy it. Instead, he told Moses, “The thing…you are doing is not good. You will surely wear out.” And what did he tell Moses to do? Shift gears and start sharing the load! (See vv. 22-23.) Then he bottom-lined it: “That will make your load lighter…you will be able to stand the strain” (vv. 22-23 NIV). Since when did a bleeding ulcer become a sign of spirituality, or a seventy-hour workweek the mark of efficiency? Be honest: Are you too stubborn to slow down, too insecure to say no, or too proud to ask for help? If so, talk to God about it.
You’re ‘called…by his marvelous grace’
“God…called me by his marvelous grace.” Gal 1:15 NLT
In Scripture you will notice that God usually called busy people. Moses the shepherd was busy tending his flock. Gideon the farmer was busy harvesting his crop. Peter and John the fishermen were busy mending their nets. But there was something inside each of them that responded to God’s call. With God, availability matters more than ability. Imagine for a moment a ranch hand named Saul out looking for his father’s lost mules, and returning home anointed to be Israel’s first king (See 1Sa 9-10). There is no telling what God will do with you! So, be faithful and nurture the dream He put in your heart, and when the time is right, He will set everything in place. The psalmist said, “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Ps 37:4 NIV). Don’t be impatient. If God put the desire into your heart, He will provide everything needed to bring it to pass. Jesus said, “Human effort accomplishes nothing…the…words I have spoken to you are spirit and life” (Jn 6:63 NLT). So, water your vision with God’s Word, and spend time with Him in prayer. And if anyone tries to come between you and what God has called you to do, tell them, “Sorry, I have to go. I’m already spoken for. My destiny is too important to miss.” Don’t waste another day struggling with God’s call on your life; just surrender to Him! He didn’t call you because of your great track record, great intellect, or great gift. The Bible says, “Where sin abounded, grace did much more abound” (Ro 5:20). You’re “called…by his marvelous grace.”
Follow God and take your children with you
“Lot moved his tents to a place near Sodom.” Ge 13:12 NLT
Jesus said: “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea” (Mt 18:6 NIV). Implicit in those words is a sobering challenge to every parent: Your moral authority doesn’t come from your knowledge but from your lifestyle and integrity. As your children grow up, they’re less apt to listen to what you say and more inclined to imitate what you do. So where are your footsteps leading? Remember Abraham and Lot? They shared the same family, the same faith, and had the same opportunities in life. But when it came to raising children, Abraham grew roses and Lot grew weeds. What made the difference? Abraham followed God while Lot followed his own selfish interests. “Lot moved his tents to a place near Sodom.” Before it was over, Lot lost his moral authority with his family. So here is the question: As a parent, where are you pitching your tent? King David also lost his moral authority with his family. Even though God forgave his affair with Bathsheba and permitted him to remain on the throne, his sin took a terrible toll. His son Amnon raped his sister Tamar. His other son Absalom stole the throne, and his son Solomon’s wives ultimately led him into idolatry. Nathan the prophet told him, “Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity on you” (2Sa 12:11 NIV). You only get one chance to do it right, so follow God and take your children with you.
Dealing with loneliness (2)
“Everyone abandoned me.” 2Ti 4:16 NLT
What’s the proper way to deal with loneliness? (1) Learn to be alone without feeling lonely. Jesus often left the crowd to be alone with His Father in prayer. Why? Because He knew that solitude is essential to spiritual growth. And He came back from those times personally enriched and better equipped to deal with the challenges of life. The Bible says, “Then Jacob was left alone; and a Man wrestled with him until the breaking of day” (Ge 32:24 NKJV). Out of that time alone with God came a man with a new name, a new nature, a new walk, and a new future. Plus, when people realize that you can enjoy your favorite dish or movie or other activity alone, they are attracted by your strength, independence, and confidence. (2) Reject the idea that you cannot live without a certain person in your life. God is the only person you must have, and He has promised to always stay with you (See Heb 13:5). Many times, we fall into depression after the death of a loved one because we haven’t cultivated an outside life. But it’s never too late to get started. And God will help you. Paul wrote: “The first time I was brought before the judge, no one came with me. Everyone abandoned me. May it not be counted against them. But the Lord stood with me and gave me strength so that I might preach the Good News in its entirety for all the Gentiles to hear” (2Ti 4:16-17 NLT). God will help you to grieve your loss, leave your loss, and go on to what He has for you next.
Be on your guard
“Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith.” 1Co 16:13 NIV
Sometimes you experience more problems after you become a Christian than you did before. “Think back on those early days when you first learned about Christ. Remember how you remained faithful even though it meant terrible suffering” (Heb 10:32 NLT). Consider the life of Christ. “After his baptism…the heavens…opened…And a voice…said, ‘This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy’” (Mt 3:16-17 NLT). Then we read: “Jesus was led…into the wilderness to be tempted there by the devil” (Mt 4:1 NLT). First the call, then the conflict. And that’s still how it works! When Paul was called into ministry, he was given “a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted” (2Co 12:7). So when you say yes to God, prepare for attack. Satan attacks what he fears, and he fears God’s plan for your life. When a player starts scoring, the other team targets him because they know he is capable of winning. Getting the idea? Before Jesus launched His ministry, Satan offered Him the kingdoms of the world, and he will make you the same offer. So, the only safe place to be is in the center of God’s will. When Noah was building the ark, he could withstand a hundred years of scorn, but when the job was done, he ended up drunk and disgraced. Paul writes, “These things…were written down to warn us…If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall” (1Co 10:11, 12 NLT). So, the word for you today is—be on your guard!
Become a no-limits person!
“All things are possible to him who believes.” Mk 9:23 NKJV
No-limits people refuse to accept things as they are because they see them as they can be. Instead of saying, “It can’t be done,” they rise up in faith and say, “All things are possible to him who believes.” No-limits people have faults and failures like everybody else. The difference is, they walk by faith to the cliff’s edge knowing that one of two things will happen when they get there. Either God will put solid rock under their feet, or He will teach them to fly. In other words, they plug into God’s unlimited power supply. The author of the book of Hebrews describes no-limits people like this: “Who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle” (Heb 11:33-34 NIV). Notice, these people started out weak, but they became strong. How? “Through faith.” They possessed the kind of faith that disregards the odds, the obstacles, and the opposition, and declares, “I am what God says I am, I have what God says I have, and I can do what God says I can do.” The story is told of an old Scottish foreman who worked hard on the job and expected the same from his workers. One day one of them said, “Jock, don’t you know Rome wasn’t built in a day?” Smiling, Jock replied, “Aye, but I wasn’t the foreman on that job.” Today ask God to help you rise above your fears and make you a no-limits person.
Establish your priorities
“I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain.” Jn 15:16 NKJV
In order to fulfill God’s plan for your life, you must establish clear priorities and live by them each day. Author Edward de Bono quipped, “A conclusion is the place where you get tired of thinking.” Sadly, many people arrive at priorities based on where they ran out of steam. You definitely don’t want to do that. Nor do you want to allow others to decide your agenda or your priorities. Many ways exist for determining priorities. First, and foremost, your plan must always line up with God’s will for you (See Heb 13:20-21). Jesus said, “I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain.” Observe: (1) You must know that God has chosen and appointed you to a particular area of service. (2) Your goal in life should be fruit that “remains” after you. If you use them properly, things like money and influence can aid you, but they must never be your goal or your heart’s desire. So, how can you establish the right priorities? As you get to know yourself better, begin focusing on your strengths and the things that make best use of your God-given skills. Consider what brings you the highest return and reward. Think about what you enjoy most and do best. Those are your core gifts. Utilize the 80/20 rule. Give 80 percent of your effort to the top 20 percent of your activities. Bottom line: Jesus said you are to give your attention to the areas that bear the most fruit.
When you’re under attack (5)
“With us is the Lord our God to help us and to fight our battles.” 2Ch 32:8 NIV
The new birth creates a battle between your old nature and your new nature, and you must learn how to fight it. For the last handful of days, we have been looking at scriptural strategies for winning. Here are a few more: (1) Fill your mind with Scripture. David said, “If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction” (Ps 119:92 NIV). Your mind is like soil; it will grow any seed you plant, good or bad. When you plant words spoken by God, you’re sowing energy, life, and hope into your spirit. God’s Word is like a vaccination; it strips Satan of his power to infect you with fear and unbelief. The psalmist said, “The law of their God is in their hearts; their feet do not slip” (Ps 37:31 NIV). (2) Reach out to others. “When Job prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes. In fact, the Lord gave him twice as much as before!” (Job 42:10 NLT). Does that sound strange? It may be strange in the kingdom of men, but not in the kingdom of God. You are the solution to somebody else’s problem, and when you reach out to them, God will reach out to you (See Eph 6:8). Go ahead, try it. (3) Remember that seasons change. David said, “Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning” (Ps 30:5 NLT). This attack won’t last forever—morning is coming! People change and circumstances change. So, start believing God to change things on your behalf. He promised to do it, and He will.
When you’re under attack (3)
“We don’t know why things happen as they do, but we don’t give up and quit.” 2Co 4:8 TLB
Satan can attack you anytime, anywhere. If you want to defeat him, here are some tried and true biblical principles you need to follow: (1) Guard your mind. You will never be defeated as long as you’re victorious in your mind; that’s the birthplace of everything you do. Satan knows that, and he will try to get your thoughts so scattered you won’t be able to concentrate on what’s important. Don’t let him do it. Get back into focus. Isaiah said, “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee” (Isa 26:3). (2) Love people, but trust God. Live by the Scripture: “It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man” (Ps 118:8). When the Devil wants to hurt you, he will often use a person to do it. Your “enemy” is anyone who attempts to thwart the will of God in your life, so identify such people and avoid them. God never commanded us to trust people; He commanded us to love people—and trust Him. Understand the difference, for your victory depends on it. (3) Never give up. Jesus said, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God” (Lk 9:62 NIV). Your dreams and goals are worth any fight, any price, and any waiting period. Your faith is what defeats Satan. Remember Joseph? Every day of adversity was just another stepping-stone toward the throne. So, keep walking and believing, for there is victory ahead!
When you’re under attack (1)
“When the enemy shall come in like a flood, the spirit of the Lord shall lift up a standard against him.” Isa 59:19
Your biggest mistakes often occur in the early stage of a trial because it catches you off guard. Surprise is one of the Devil’s favorite weapons, so here are four winning strategies you can use when you’re under attack: (1) Don’t panic. Live by the Scripture, “Be still, and know that I am God” (Ps 46:10). That means God is present, fully aware of your situation, and has a solution. Just be sensitive and responsive to the voice of His Spirit within you (See Jn 16:13). Remember, time is on your side. Patience is a weapon that forces truth and motives to the surface. (2) Analyze it. Solomon said, “In the day of prosperity be joyful, but in the day of adversity consider” (Ecc 7:14). Sometimes what looks like a crisis is just concentrated information. And when you take time to analyze it, you benefit from it. (3) Seek advice. “Without good direction, people lose their way; the more wise counsel you follow, the better your chances’” (Pr 11:14 MSG). Ignorance is your enemy and instruction is your friend. Somebody somewhere knows something you need to know; something that can help you survive and even succeed during this painful chapter in your life. Reach for them. (4) Expect God to move. “When the enemy shall come in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord shall lift up a standard against him.” Adversity is often the Enemy’s reaction to your progress. Rejoice; your heavenly Father’s eyes are on you today. He is pleased with you, and He is going to bring you through this victoriously.
Who can you count on?
“Timothy has proved himself.” Php 2:22 NIV
God will be faithful to you, come what may. Humanly speaking, who else can you count on? Paul writes: “Everyone looks out for their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ. But you know that Timothy has proved himself, because as a son with his father he has served with me in the work of the gospel” (vv. 21-22 NIV). Paul knew he could count on Timothy. Who can you count on? Before you answer, consider the following four questions: (1) When something goes wrong, do you have at least one friend you can easily talk to about it? “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for…adversity” (Pr 17:17 NIV). There is no way to put a price on such a relationship, is there? (2) Who in your life could accurately name your greatest fears and temptations? “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble…A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken” (Ecc 4:9-10, 12 NLT). (3) Do you have one or more friends with whom you meet regularly? “Then they that feared the Lord spake often one to another: and the Lord hearkened, and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written before him” (Mal 3:16). (4) Do you have a friend you know well enough to trust their confidentiality? “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret” (Pr 11:13 NIV).
Sharing our lives
“Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” Heb 10:24 NIV
Robert Putman made a staggering statement: “As a rough rule of thumb, if you don’t belong to any groups and then decide to join one, you cut your risk of dying over the next year in half.” It’s hard to imagine anyone disinterested in reducing their risk of dying by 50 percent. That’s why some churches have adopted this motto: “Join a group or die.” One of the characteristics of the early church was their faithfulness to connectedness, because they knew connectedness doesn’t merely happen. They met together daily. They ate together. Over time, however, that happened less. So the writer of Hebrews said: “Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another” (vv. 24-25 NIV). One author puts it this way: “In sports, the more an athlete needs encouragement from the fans, the less likely he or she is to get it. Rarely do fans of a losing team think when a slumping player comes up to bat, ‘Let’s consider how we can spur him on.’ Too often, people who need cheers the most get them the least. Every day, everyone you know faces life with eternity on the line, and life has a way of beating people down. Every life needs a cheering section. Every life needs a shoulder to lean on once in a while. Every life needs a prayer to lift them up before God. Every life needs a hugger to wrap some arms around them sometimes. Every life needs to hear a voice saying, ‘Don’t give up.’”
They will come back to it
“Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.” Pr 22:6 NLT
When your child begins to toddle and talk, plant God’s Word deep in their heart. That doesn’t guarantee they won’t go astray. Many of us got it wrong before we finally got it right. Just make sure they know where “the right path” is. Picture a salmon being spawned in a hatchery in Northern California, released into a channel which leads to a creek, the creek to a river, and the river to the Pacific Ocean. The salmon swims for thousands of miles. Then, as if by command, it begins the long journey back to its place of spawning. And it not only locates the spot where it entered the ocean, but the river, the creek, and the exact inlet from which it had been released. In one documented story, a salmon worked its way up through a drain and pushed through a hefty, screened lid atop a three-foot vertical pipe, and ended up in the same tank where it was hatched. Unique markings on its fin confirmed this. “Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.” That Scripture means, give your children a taste of the things of God when they’re young, and when they grow older, the world won’t satisfy their taste and they will return to their spiritual roots. Faithfully do your part, and trust God to do His. Your part now is to instruct, love, and pray for them. God’s part is to draw them back. And He will, for He loves them even more than you do!
The bottom line on money
“There is one who makes himself rich, yet has nothing.” Pr 13:7 NKJV
The Bible says, “There is one who makes himself rich, yet has nothing; and one who makes himself poor, yet has great riches” (v. 7 NKJV). It’s a blessing to have the things money can buy, as long as you don’t lose sight of the things it can’t buy. Money can buy whatever is for sale. But the greatest things in life, like your health and your relationships, can’t be bought because they’re not for sale. You could sum up much of what the Bible has to say about money with these three bottom-line statements: (1) What you are is more crucial than what you have. “Better is the poor who walks in his integrity than one perverse in his ways, though he be rich” (Pr 28:6 NKJV). (2) What God sees in you is more crucial than what you have. “Better is a little with the fear of the Lord, than great treasure with trouble” (Pr 15:16 NKJV). (3) What others think of you is more crucial than what you have. “A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, loving favor rather than silver and gold” (Pr 22:1 NKJV). Don’t worry about “keeping up with the Joneses.” The Joneses might be one step from bankruptcy or the divorce court. Furthermore, if you did catch up with the Joneses, they would just refinance. The truth is, you will never be happy with what you have until you learn to be happy with what others have—that you don’t have. The Bible tells us covetousness is a sin. And covetousness is simply failing to enjoy what God has given you!
Start ‘meditating’ on the Scriptures
“Oh, how I love Your law! It is my meditation all the day.” Ps 119:97 NKJV
Andrew Murray wrote, “There is a direct connection between the degree to which you succeed in life and the time you spend meditating on God’s Word.” God told Joshua, “Meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will…have good success” (Jos 1:8 NKJV). We live in the age of ADD. We once believed that if we had more material things, we would feel happier. But it doesn’t work. The more things we acquire, the more we have to protect, insure, maintain, stress out over, and keep up with. Jesus said, “One’s life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses” (Lk 12:15 NKJV). So, what’s the answer? “In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and confidence shall be your strength” (Isa 30:15 NKJV). In Pathways to Power, Merrill F. Unger writes: “This holy exercise of pondering over the Word, chewing it as an animal chews its cud to get its sweetness and nutritive virtue…takes time, which ill fits into the speed of our modern age. Today most Christians’ devotions are too hurried, their lives too rushed.” The psalmist David said: “I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches. Because You have been my help, therefore in the shadow of Your wings I will rejoice. My soul follows close behind You; Your right hand upholds me” (Ps 63:6-8 NKJV). Slow down. Take time to meditate on God’s Word. Your survival, strength, and success depend on it.
A time to be careful
“If you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!” 1Co 10:12 NIV
The time to be careful is after you have reached your goals and you’re celebrating your victories. There are three crucial points in every battle, and believe it or not, the easiest one is sometimes the fight itself. The most difficult point is the period of indecision right before the conflict—whether to stand and fight or run away—the battle between faith and fear. But by far the most dangerous period is the aftermath. With your resources spent and your guard down, you need to watch for things like overconfidence, dulled reactions, and faulty judgment. Remember King David’s story? “In the spring of the year, at the time when kings go out to battle…David remained at Jerusalem. Then it happened…he saw a woman bathing…Then David sent messengers, and took her” (2Sa 11:1-2, 4 NKJV). Pay particular attention to the phrase, “Then it happened.” David chose to stay home rather than go to battle. Who knows why? Maybe his impressive record of successes made him soft, or he got careless, or arrogant? It was only a brief affair, but it changed everything. His peace vanished, his character was ruined, and his family life destroyed. Don’t fall prey to the perils of past victories! Remember your H.A.L.T. sign. When you’re Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired, you’re in a vulnerable place and need to be extra careful. Resting on your laurels is synonymous with flirting with disaster. Trouble awaits the man or woman who dwells in the comfortable land of accomplished dreams. So, the word for you today is—“If you think you’re standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!”
Shut yourself in with God
“I long for you, O God.” Ps 42:1 NLT
Are you having difficulty understanding God’s ways? We all struggle with that. Even though we can look back and see how His hand of blessing and guidance has been upon us, at times we still feel afraid and alone. Jesus Himself cried, “My God…why hast thou forsaken me?” (Mt 27:46). Those words could be interpreted, “I may not understand what’s happening right now, but I know you’re still my God.” What assurance! Have you ever watched a child reach for a parent’s hand and say, “Slow down; you’re walking too fast”? The child is afraid of getting lost or left behind. Is that how you feel today? Like you can’t keep up? That life is moving way too fast? The Bible says, “As the deer longs for streams of water…I long for you, O God” (Ps 42:1 NLT). You don’t “long” for something unless you value it and need it. Only raw need will cause you to turn away from every other visible means of support and pursue God, because you know that without Him, you won’t make it. The truth is, if you didn’t need Him so desperately, you could easily become satisfied with lesser things. Three things happen when you pursue God with all your heart. (1) You enter the realm where “all things are possible” (Mk 10:27). (2) You grow more Christlike, because you become like the company you keep (See 2Co 3:18). (3) You learn that certain levels of blessing are only reached when you diligently seek God (See Heb 11:6). Are you weary of human answers? Do you need more than just good advice? Shut yourself in with God today and let Him speak to you.
‘Should I, or shouldn’t I?’
“We can say with confidence and a clear conscience.” 2Co 1:12 NLT
In My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers writes: “Conscience is that ability within me that attaches itself to the highest standard I know, and…continually reminds me of what that standard demands…If I’m in the habit of always holding God’s standard in front of me, conscience will always direct me to God’s perfect law and indicate what I should do. The question is will I obey?…God always instructs us down to the last detail…He does not speak with a voice like thunder—His voice is so gentle it’s easy for us to ignore. And the only thing that keeps our conscience sensitive to Him is the habit of being open to God on the inside. When you begin to debate, stop immediately. Don’t ask, ‘Why can’t I do this?’ You’re on the wrong track. There is no debating possible once your conscience speaks. Whatever it is—drop it and see that you keep your inner vision clear.” Paul writes: “We can say with confidence and a clear conscience that we have lived with a God-given holiness and sincerity in all our dealings. We have depended on God’s grace, not on our own human wisdom. That is how we have conducted ourselves before the world, and especially toward you” (v. 12 NLT). But what if the Bible doesn’t offer a specific answer to your question and you’re wondering, “Should I, or shouldn’t I?” Here is your gold standard: “If our consciences are clear, we can come to the Lord with perfect assurance and trust, and get whatever we ask for” (1Jn 3:21-22 TLB). Can you think of a more important reason for maintaining a clear conscience?
Dealing with loneliness (1)
“I…am like a sparrow alone on the housetop.” Ps 102:7 NKJV
Wolfgang Dircks, a divorced, disabled loner, was found deceased in his apartment in Bonn, Germany, in December 1998—five years after he died. He was forty-three and died watching television. Neighbors didn’t notice his absence. His landlord came by after the bank account from which his rent was paid dried up. A TV schedule was still sitting on the lap of Dircks’s skeleton and was open to the page of December 5, 1993—the apparent date of his death. The television had long since stopped in the on position, but the lights on his 1993 Christmas tree were still glowing. When God created us, He said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him” (Ge 2:18 NKJV). You were created to be in relationship. You don’t have to accept loneliness as your destiny. Instead: (1) Find a need and meet it. Often loneliness is not the absence of people, but purpose. Show a true interest in the difficulties of others. Resist making your own issues and worries the aim of every conversation. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others” (Php 2:3-4 NIV). (2) Be generous to others with your time, talents, and treasure. Not everyone will accept what you offer, but someone will. Pray for guidance and keep reaching out. God says, “To me, you are very dear, and I love you…” (Isa 43:4 CEV).
Jesus is your lawyer!
“We have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.” 1Jn 2:1 NAS
On those days when you wonder how God could love you, read these words: “If anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.” When your thoughts sink to gutter level and your actions are anything but Christlike, remind yourself: “He lives forever to intercede with God on [our] behalf” (Heb 7:25 NLT). It works like this: When God’s law declares you guilty, Jesus steps in and says, “Father, I have this person covered; they are trusting in my shed blood, and My righteousness has been transferred to them.” Try to picture this: In the Old Testament tabernacle, the blood of a lamb was poured on top of the mercy seat, and the ark of the covenant that contained the broken law—the record of our guilt—was placed underneath it. So, the only way God could see the broken law—was through the blood. And it’s the same today! If you’re wondering why God continues to love, accept, and bless you, it’s because Jesus is your lawyer! Notice: (1) He is fully qualified to represent you. “This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased” (Mt 3:17). (2) He has never lost a case. “He is…able to save to the uttermost those who come to God through Him” (Heb 7:25 NKJV). (3) He offers His services freely. “Without money and without price” (Isa 55:1). The Bible says, “Let us…approach God’s throne of grace with confidence…that we may receive mercy and…grace to help us in our time of need” (Heb 4:16 NIV). Jesus is your lawyer, so you can come to God with confidence today.
Don’t get distracted
“Look straight ahead.” Pr 4:25 NLT
To succeed at what God has called you to do, you must do these: (1) Remove distractions. This is not easy, as most people now get hundreds of emails, texts, and tweets every day. But you must do it. How? By keeping the discipline of practicing your priorities. Don’t accomplish easy things first, or hard things first, or urgent things first. Do first things first—the activities that provide you with the highest return. That way, you keep distractions minimized. (2) Protect yourself from distractions. One leader writes: “I need blocks of time to think without interruptions. I’ve mastered the art of making myself unavailable when necessary and going off to my ‘thinking place’ so that I can work without interruptions…however, I am always aware of the tension between my need to remain accessible to others as a leader and my need to withdraw from them to think.” Jesus often withdrew from activities and prayed (See Lk 5:16). To know people’s needs, He spent time with people. To meet people’s needs, He spent time with God in prayer. As a result, He was always in the right place, at the right time, with the right people, doing the right things. And you must do that too! If you’re naturally withdrawn, then make sure to get out among people more often. If you’re always “on the go,” then remove yourself periodically so that you can be refreshed and refocused in order to accomplish what God has called you to do. “Look straight ahead and fix your eyes on what lies before you. Mark out a straight path for your feet; stay on the safe path. Don’t get sidetracked” (Pr 4:25-27 NLT).
When you’re under attack (6)
“I have fought a good fight.” 2Ti 4:7
Here are three more things to keep in mind when you’re under attack: (1) You are not unique. In a letter to persecuted believers, the apostle Peter said, “Be strong in your faith. Remember that your Christian brothers and sisters…are going through the same kind of suffering you are” (1Pe 5:9 NLT). We are all on the same battlefield, but the Devil would love to convince you that you’re the only person who has ever experienced anything like this. That’s so you will feel like a failure and cut yourself off from the strength and support that comes from fellowship with other believers. Be wise; don’t let him do that to you. (2) Remove any hindrances. The apostle John writes, “Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God” (1Jn 3:21 NIV). We all sin—the mistake lies in trying to cover it up, because “whoever conceals their sins does not prosper” (Pr 28:13 NIV). If you’re constantly struggling and being defeated, ask God to show you where the trouble spot is, draw on His grace, and deal with it. (3) Don’t quit. Anybody can begin a marathon, but it takes a champion to finish it. The apostle Paul writes, “I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith” (2Ti 4:7). Every one of us experiences adversity. But it’s those who stay strong to the finish who get the reward. So, pace yourself, and determine to go the distance. Study the lives of people like David, Esther, Deborah, and Paul. Remind yourself that their God is your God, and He has promised to bring you through victoriously.
When you’re under attack (4)
“If you fail under pressure, your strength is too small.” Pr 24:10 NLT
For the last few days, we have talked about how to handle Satan’s attacks when they come. So, if you’re under attack today, do these: (1) Be tough. Life is a collection of battles, which means it can also be a collection of victories. “Greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world” (1Jn 4:4). Reach within and draw on God’s strength. Go ahead; He longs to show you what He can do for you. “For he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me” (Heb 13:5-6). Did you get that? “He hath said…so that we may boldly say!” There is power in His Word when you speak it, believe it, and act on it. (2) Depend on God’s wisdom. Jesus said, “Don’t worry…about how to answer the charges against you, for I will give you the right words and such wisdom that none of your opponents will be able to reply” (Lk 21:14-15 NLT). God has given you two things that always work: your mouth and His wisdom. When unexpected things arise, the Holy Spirit within you will rise to the occasion and speak through you, so start depending on Him. (3) Trust God to stop the attack. The Bible says, “He causes wars to end throughout the earth” (Ps 46:9 NLT). God is in control, He is bigger than whatever you’re dealing with, and you’re on His mind this very moment. Your tears, your fears, and your pain have been noticed by Him—and He will move on your behalf.
When you’re under attack (2)
“This is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith.” 1Jn 5:4
Adversity is often the Enemy’s attempt to rob you of the next season of God’s blessing in your life. If you’re under attack today, you need to do these three things: (1) Rise up and fight back. You will be tempted to withdraw or become timid and passive, especially if you have been hurt. Don’t do it. A wounded animal just invites attack. Satan loves shy, fearful types, but real fighters intimidate him. So, be bold and claim the promise, “Resist the devil, and he will flee from you” (Jas 4:7). (2) Use all your weapons. The Bible says, “The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world…they have divine power to demolish strongholds.” (2 Co 10:4 NIV). Prayer is a weapon—use it daily. And join in prayer with others. One person alone can’t multiply faith; increase begins when two people get together (See Mt 18:19). Make sure you know the intercessors in your life, because they have influence with God. Scripture is also a weapon, so use it. “Take…the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God” (Eph 6:17). Find out what God’s Word says about your situation, and then use it like a sword to cut the Enemy’s head off. (3) Try to see the big picture. Few things are ever as they first appear, so look beyond the moment and see if something good is being birthed in you. After adversity comes blessing and favor, so get your eyes back on the big picture. Paul, who suffered relentless attack, said, “Our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outlasts them all” (2Co 4:17 NIV). Bottom line: Today you can win.
Getting real
“The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience.” 1Co 10:13 NLT
The problem isn’t just that we sin; it’s that we can’t talk about it. We’re comfortable with tales of people who used to sin, because they have happy endings. Imagine going to a counselor and saying, “I only want to discuss problems I used to have. Please don’t ask me to confess any current ones. I would be embarrassed. I’m afraid you would reject me.” Why would you go to a counselor and try to convince them that you don’t need counsel? People are okay telling a doctor about their physical problem or a mechanic about a problem with their car. Shouldn’t we be okay telling each other when we have a problem? If you want God (or anyone else) to love the real you, you have to work at “getting real.” David was Israel’s best king, but he was a polygamist. He was also a horrible father. He coveted another man’s wife, committing adultery with her, attempting to deceive her husband, ultimately having him murdered, and covering up his crime for a year; so, he was a coveter, an adulterer, a liar, and a murderer. As somebody quipped, “Nobody in those days was walking around wearing a ‘What Would David Do?’ bracelet.” Yet the Bible calls David “a man after [God’s] own heart” (1Sa 13:14 NIV). Is it possible for someone to be struggling so intensely with sin and yearning for God at the same time? Yes. And it’s also why the Bible says, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed” (Jas 5:16 NLT).
Be joyful
“That we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.” Ps 90:14 NIV
It doesn’t help the cause of Christ when His followers go around looking miserable. You say, “But I have problems.” Everybody does. When the apostle Paul was in prison, he wrote, “Rejoice in the Lord always” (Php 4:4 NIV). Expressing joy is something you do in spite of your circumstances, not because of them. The Bible says, “With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation” (Isa 12:3 NIV). God has put a well of joy within you, but you have to draw it out and share it with others. Joy is contagious. Happiness travels through relational networks like ripples on a pond. It’s so robust, in fact, that it can permeate three degrees of separation. That means your happiness quotient is more likely to increase when a friend of a friend of a friend becomes happy. We hunger for joy. “Satisfy us in the morning,” writes the psalmist—but not with more money or power or applause. No, “Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days” (Ps 90:14 NIV). Joyful people make us come alive. The Bible says, “The joy of the Lord is your strength” (Ne 8:10 NIV). We love joy, but often we forget how powerful it is. Joy gives us the strength to resist temptation. It gives us the ability to persevere. It’s the Velcro that makes relationships stick. It gives us the energy to love. We don’t just need air, food, and water; we need joy. And the person who brings it is like an oasis in a desert land. So today, be joyful.
Integrity (2)
“The godly walk with integrity; blessed are their children who follow them.” Pr 20:7 NLT
Here are six ingredients which are always found in lasting success: (1) Information. If you don’t stay informed, you will be left behind. (2) Intuition. This is sometimes referred to as “to know in your knower.” (3) Initiative. This is when you are willing to step out in faith and act on what you know intuitively. (4) Intentionality. This is when you are willing to set specific goals and timelines for reaching them. (5) Intensity. This calls for more than starting power, it requires staying power. (6) Integrity. This is the glue that holds the previous five things together. And it’s rooted in that private life you develop alone with God. We often hear architects, engineers, and builders say, “This building has structural integrity.” What do they mean? That the public beauty of a tall skyscraper relies on its private, unseen foundation that is dug deep into the earth and solidly constructed. It is that hidden life of a building that brings structural integrity. Likewise, it’s the hidden life of a fruit tree—the unseen root system that digs deep into the earth—that produces those juicy, delectable fruits. And so it is with you. Integrity must be rooted in your private life. Don’t wait until you’re thrust into the public arena before paying attention to your integrity, for then you will have waited until it’s too late. Your talent may bring you success, but it takes character to protect and maintain your success. The truth is that when your integrity is rooted in your private world, it’s reflected in your personal world, your professional world, and your public world.