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When it doesn’t “feel” like Christmas
“He sent me to…heal the heartbroken.” Isa 61:1 MSG
At this time of year, it’s tempting to buy into the myth that everybody else is enjoying a picture-perfect Christmas. The truth is, there are thousands out there whose lives have been forever altered by death, divorce, sickness, and financial problems. Tammy Hanson Maltby writes: “It was December 20. There was no hint of Christmas around our house…Most years, our tree was up the day after Thanksgiving…Christmas music…and luscious aromas filled the air…Our house had been Christmas central. Not this year…My 20-year marriage had just dissolved…My budget was stretched…and my spirit was strained even further. Some days I could barely manage to get out of bed…All four of my kids were home on Christmas break. And there was still no tree. ‘This is really depressing,’ I heard one of them grumble, and my heart broke again. ‘I’ll get a tree tomorrow,’ I repeated. Even I didn’t believe my words. That evening…I heard voices…in the…basement…There, near the piano, stood the scruffy little artificial conifer…I’d bought…years before, and I used it to hang [the kids’] school ornaments…creations that just didn’t look right on my majestic, fragrant, decorated, upstairs tree…The kids had…set it up, draped it with lights, and hung their childhood ornaments…It was still scruffy, but it was beautiful…I was happy…And overcome with gratitude that they had gotten together to make it happen for me.” If you’re having a tough Christmas, don’t beat yourself up. Remember, you can get through anything for one day. (See Dt 33:25). Jesus understands. He came to “heal the heartbroken,” so turn to Him this Christmas and ask Him to restore your peace and joy.
When you feel drained
“He makes me to lie down in green pastures.” Ps 23:2 NKJV
Even when you’re living right and doing all the right things, life can still be draining. We have all received mail addressed simply to “Occupant.” Sometimes you’re drained not because you did anything wrong, but because you happen to “occupy” the planet. The combination of the world, the flesh, and the devil will suck the spiritual vitality right out of you if you let them. You try to pray, but no words come. You know you ought to read your Bible, but when you try to, the letters on the page all run together and none of it makes sense. And you don’t want to listen to spiritual people, especially when you suspect they may be faking their positive viewpoints. You’re just going through the spiritual motions, nodding and saying amen; yet in your soul, you’re running on empty. David, who had been a shepherd, said that God “makes” us lie down. Why? Because just like sheep, we would keep on wandering all over the place and wearing ourselves out. Note two things David says: (1) “He makes me to lie down in green pastures.” The word “green” means “fresh.” Each day you need a fresh encounter with God through prayer and a fresh intake of His Word. Bread is not the only thing that can go stale; your spiritual life can, too. (2) “He leads me beside the still waters” (v. 2 NKJV). The word “still” means you need times of quietness and reflection. “Be still, and know that I am God” (Ps 46:10). The only way to know God intimately, sense His leading, and draw on His strength is to “be still.”
You are thirsty for God
“Give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty.” Jn 4:15 NIV
This Samaritan woman tried to fill the emptiness in her life with multiple relationships. But it didn’t work. When you try to find in anyone else what can only be found in Christ, you place so much stress on the relationship that it will break under the weight of it. Why did Jesus say, “You have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband” (v. 18 NIV)? Because one of the first things hurting people need to do is break the pattern of using other people as a narcotic to dull the pain of their inner void. The more you medicate the symptoms, the less chance you have of allowing God to treat the cause. The other dysfunctional tendency that can exist is that you keep increasing the dosage. When you become increasingly dependent on others rather than on God to create a feeling of wholeness in your life, you’re abusing your relationships. Clinging to people is very different from loving them. It’s not so much a declaration of your love for them as a crying out of your need for them. Like lust, it’s extremely selfish. It’s taking, instead of giving. Jesus quenched the Samaritan woman’s thirst with His Word, saying, “Whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life” (v. 14 NIV). And she went back home totally changed, for that’s what Jesus does. Listen to her testimony: “Come, see a man who told me everything” (v. 29 NIV). And what Jesus did for her, He will do for you today.
You will get through this
“To every thing there is a season…A time to weep, and a time to laugh.” Ecc 3:1, 4
Sorrow comes to us in many forms. You can lose your job, or your home, or your health. But nothing hurts more than when you lose someone you love dearly. Waves of grief will come at you like the ocean throwing its waves up onto the beach. Whatever you do, don’t drown. Don’t stop there and allow yourself to be pulled under by the current. Allow yourself to feel the grief without tying it around your neck. Allow the weight of it to help you work through your thoughts, fears, and if necessary, your tears. Grieving relieves the soul, like exhaling carbon dioxide relieves your body. But there comes a point at which you must get up and go on. The stages of grief you go through are shock, then denial, then bargaining, then depression, and finally acceptance. David said, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff [of protection] they comfort me” (Ps 23:4). When you get through this valley, you will be able to look back with more gratitude and less grief. Instead of focusing on what you have lost, you will be thankful for what you have left. And don’t be afraid to indulge in those rare moments of laughter that come even in the face of heartbreak. Laughter medicates the soul and alleviates the tension of those times; it requires us to step outside our present pain and adjust our focus. This in itself is a healing balm. “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine” (Pr 17:22).
Instead of worrying, trust God
“Don’t worry about anything, but pray about everything.” Php 4:6 CEV
Paul writes: “Don’t worry about anything, but pray about everything. With thankful hearts offer up your prayers and requests to God. Then, because you belong to Christ Jesus, God will bless you with peace that no one can completely understand. And this peace will control the way you think and feel” (vv. 6-7 CEV). Worry is like sitting in a rocking chair; it’s always in motion and it keeps you busy, but it never actually gets you anywhere. In fact, if you do it too long, it wears you out! One medical expert says that we create about thirty thousand thoughts per day, and through an uncontrolled thought life, we create favorable conditions for illness; we make ourselves sick! Another medical researcher estimates that 87 percent of illness is connected to wrong thought patterns. The cause of worry is simple: It’s the failure to trust God to take care of the various situations in your life. Most of us have spent our lives trying to take care of ourselves, so it takes time—lots of it—to learn how to trust God instead. And the only way you learn that is by doing it. Each time you pray and turn the problem over to God, you experience His faithfulness. That makes it easier for you to trust Him next time. And when it comes to life’s problems, there will always be a “next time.” So each time you begin to feel anxious, say, “I trust God completely; there is no need to worry!” The more you think about this truth, the more you will find yourself choosing trust over worry.
You can have peace of mind
“The Lord blesses his people with peace.” Ps 29:11 NIV
Everybody wants peace of mind. Whether you’re a businessperson facing the pressure of deadlines, a homemaker trying to round up kids, or a student trying to make it through the college semester, everyone wants peace of mind. But most of us experience more stress than peace. How acquainted are you with stress? One author writes: “Here is a little quiz. Complete each of these sentences with the appropriate word: ‘I am ready to throw in the…I am at the end of my…I am just a bundle of…My life is falling…I am at my wits’…I feel like resigning from the human…’ How did you do? If you answered, ‘towel, rope, nerves, apart, end, and race,’ give yourself an A+.” Most of us have muttered these words so often that they’re almost second nature. Stress is a regrettable fact of life in our contemporary world. Sales of sedatives are at an all-time high, and books on peace of mind become immediate best sellers. We are warned that too much stress is unhealthy. So what else is new? We have understood that for centuries. Thousands of years ago, Solomon wrote, “A heart at peace gives life to the body” (Pr 14:30 NIV). We know about stress, but where can we go to find peace? To God! Take a moment and read these two promises: (1) “The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace.” (2) “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace” (Php 4:6-7 NLT).
You are being pruned (1)
“God’s discipline is always good for us.” Heb 12:10 NLT
Did you know that some master gardeners actually talk to their plants? Why? Because it helps them grow! Imagine yourself saying, “You’re such a good plant. My, you sure are looking fine today! I’m so proud of you!” Now picture yourself talking to a plant you’re pruning and saying, “This pains me more than it pains you.” Whack! “You will thank me for this afterward!” Whack! “It’s for your own good!” Whack! Now picture the plant talking back: “You don’t have a heart. You hate me. I’ve worked long and hard to make those roses you just cut off.” Isn’t that what we say to God while He prunes us? “Don’t you love me? Don’t you care about me? Don’t you see what’s going on in my life right now?” We think God is mad at us. No, He is not mad. One of the major mistakes we make is confusing pruning with punishment. Don’t equate the two. God sees you as someone who can bear more fruit, someone with potential for greatness, someone He wants to utilize in a significant way. He wants you to be as fruitful as you can conceivably be, so He prunes you, even lopping off some of the things He has been blessing in your life. Have you lost a job you loved? Or a relationship you loved? God may have something much better in mind. Can you trust Him? Do you believe He is at work in your life? His Word says, “God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished” (Php 1:6 NLT).
Committed and connected
“In Christ we, though many, form one body.” Ro 12:5 NIV
The Bible describes the Christian life in war terms: fight, conquer, strive, battle, overcome, victory. You’re in a spiritual battle whether you realize it or not, and you need support and backup. When you became a Christian, you became a member of God’s army. Imagine you go to a recruiting office to join the Army. They say, “Wonderful, sign here.” You say: “Wait! I have one stipulation. I don’t want to be committed to any particular platoon. I want to be able to float around. I’ll be part of the Army, but I don’t want to be committed to a certain group of soldiers. If the battle gets too hot in one area, I’ll move to another area and join another platoon. And if I dislike one platoon’s leadership, I’ll join another.” Would you want a person like that fighting by your side? Of course you wouldn’t! But that’s how many Christians today relate to God’s army. They float around from church to church with little or no commitment to any particular group of Christians—so while the battle is being fought, they are awol. There is no such thing as a free-floating believer in the Bible. The difference between just attending church and becoming a member is like the difference between getting married and just living together. The distinction is commitment. The Greek word for fellowship is koinonia, which means being committed to one another. Jesus said, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (Jn 13:35 NIV). And you can’t love in absentia. So, be committed and connected.
Faithfulness (3)
“Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much.” Lk 16:10 NIV
Pastor James Merritt said, “The other day I asked my beautiful wife if she married me for my looks.” She replied, “No, I married you for your brains—it’s the little things that count!” Merritt was joking of course. What really counts in life is faithfulness in little things; it’s how dependability begins, grows, and matures. Longfellow wrote, “Most people would succeed in small things if they weren’t troubled with great ambition.” Sometimes we think we’re too big for small things; we would rather get on with what we perceive as bigger, more important matters. But here is how Jesus sees it: “Anyone who can be trusted in little matters can also be trusted in important matters. But anyone who is dishonest in little matters will be dishonest in important matters. If you cannot be trusted with this wicked wealth, who will trust you with true wealth? And if you cannot be trusted with what belongs to someone else, who will give you something that will be your own?” (vv. 10-12 CEV). If you want to succeed on the job, come to work on time; stick with the job until it’s finished; when you see something that needs to be done, do it—even if it’s not in your job description. Give an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay; take your designated lunch break, not a three-hour paid vacation; report your expenses truthfully; support the team; and uphold the company’s reputation. In other words, be faithful on the job: “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might” (Ecc 9:10 NIV). That’s the kind of faithfulness God honors.
Faithfulness (1)
“Many claim to have unfailing love, but a faithful person who can find?” Pr 20:6 NIV
A new employee once asked a coworker, “How long have you been working for the company?” He replied, “Ever since the boss threatened to fire me!” Seriously, employers scramble to find workers who are faithful and dependable. Citizens long for politicians who will faithfully carry out all of their campaign promises. In the marriage ceremony, newlyweds are asked to be faithful to the vows they make to each other. The truth is, without faithfulness, your influence will be restricted—or wiped out. Without faithfulness, the sum total of all your other wonderful talents is diluted. Faithfulness turns the mundane into the miraculous and transforms ordinary individuals into dependable achievers. Wise King Solomon asked this soul-searching question: “Many claim to have unfailing love, but a faithful person who can find?” The world wants people who are faithful. There are more than 300 geysers in Yellowstone National Park (approximately half the known geysers in the world). But one stands above the others. It’s not the largest, and its waters don’t reach the greatest height, but it’s by far the most popular. And its popularity is due solely to one thing—its dependability. People stand in long lines under the hot sun to see it, because according to a precise schedule, it shoots a stream of boiling water more than 120 feet into the air. You can nearly set your watch by it. That’s why it’s called Old Faithful. People are attracted to our faithfulness. God is glorified by our faithfulness. So in all you do this day, practice faithfulness.
Raising children
“It takes wisdom to have a good family.” Pr 24:3 NCV
At an educators’ conference, one colleague condescendingly asked another’s wife, “What is it that you do, my dear?” The husband later wrote: “My wife…shot back, ‘I’m socializing two Homo sapiens into the dominant values of the Judeo-Christian tradition in order that they might be the instruments for the transformation of the social order into the kind of eschatological utopia that God willed from the beginning of creation.’ Then [she] asked…sweetly, ‘And what is it that you do?’ The woman answered humbly, ‘I…I…teach sociology.’” The Bible says, “It takes wisdom to have a good family, and…understanding to make it strong” (v. 3 NCV). Wisdom is the ability to see with discernment. Understanding is the skill to respond with insight. If you succeed at everything else in life and fail at home, nothing else will matter. One author writes: “We must fill our children with light so they can discern what’s dark…help them cultivate a life of peace so they recognize discord…educate them on what’s right so that what’s wrong has glaring contrast. We must love them so fully that they’re not trying to stave off emptiness…offer the sweet scent of truth so they can smell a lie…build their confidence in Christ so they’re not easily dismantled by others’ opinions. We must build their foundation on a rock so they [recognize] unstable ground…bring them up so it’s difficult for others to bring them down…and teach them to pray for wisdom so they realize being smart isn’t enough.” As parents, you and I may not see the return on our investment right way, but “at…the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up” (Gal 6:9 NLT).
Scriptural coping skills
“Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks.” 1Th 5:16-18
In order to succeed in life, you need good coping skills. The salesperson has a quota. The performer has rehearsals. The therapist counsels one depressed soul after another. The pilot has to sit in the cockpit for hours. The preacher is never free of sermon preparation. Then there is the mother with tiny children facing fourteen hours a day of making decisions, competing with strong wills, and trying to be everything to everybody. How do you develop the coping skills required to live the abundant life Jesus promised? (See Jn 10:10.) Paul tells us, “Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks.” Rejoice in the things that never change, can’t fail, and won’t let you down (like God’s promises!). And when you feel like you can’t cope, pray. Better yet, live with a prayerful heart! With every breath, say, “I trust you, Lord; I turn it over to you, for I know you have everything under control.” And don’t forget to give thanks. Remember the old adage: “I grumbled because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.” Instead of complaining, start counting your blessings. Do you remember what life was like before you met Jesus? Weren’t there days when you thought you wouldn’t make it? Now look where you are! On the other side of the Red Sea, looking back, the Israelites declared that the Lord was their strength, their song, and their salvation (See Ex 15:2). And isn’t that what He has been to you, too? Come on, praise God!
What concerns you concerns God
“Give all your worries…to God.” 1Pe 5:7 NLT
Doug Coldiron writes: “I’m a trucker, and my Jack Russell Terrier, Dee Dee, rides shotgun on my road trips. We were playing fetch outside Atlanta when something caught her eye and she shot into the woods. I paced the perimeter calling her name. I alerted other truckers and searched until it was pitch black. Nothing. Eventually the others left; some said, ‘I’ll pray for you.’ I wasn’t so sure God was listening. I’d already been praying for hours. Next morning, I had to get on the road, and when I opened my laptop and pulled up my Facebook page, it was filled with postings: ‘We’re praying for you.’ ‘Hang in there.’ ‘Trust God.’ I felt comforted; someone besides me was worried about my dog. If only I could get back to Atlanta soon! I thought about praying, ‘Lord, get me an assignment in Atlanta…NOW!’ I knew that could take weeks, but when I clicked on my company website to check the destination for my next job…it was Atlanta! Could prayer be working? Next morning my cell phone woke me. It was Russ, the maintenance supervisor. ‘I saw your dog on my way to work.’ I couldn’t believe my ears. I had to get to Atlanta! From the truck center, Russ drove me to where he had seen Dee Dee. After searching for hours, I glanced over my shoulder…and there she sat on the doorstep of a house. She bolted over, and as I picked her up, I prayed, ‘Thank you, God.’” The Bible says, “Give all your worries…to God, for he cares about you” (v. 7 NLT). Coldiron adds, “Who knows what goes on in a dog’s mind! One thing I know is we’re never alone. God always answers prayer.”
The blessed hope
“Looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ.” Titus 2:13 NKJV
Trusting in Christ’s soon return and our ultimate victory is what will sustain us in these days of disillusionment with some of our national leaders, the devaluing of our money, and the devastation of wars being fought on various continents at the same time. And don’t let some television talk show host play on your fears in order to promote his or her ratings. Jesus said, “Keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come” (Mt 24:42 NIV). In other words, “Be alert, but don’t be afraid.” Admiral James Stockdale spent eight grueling years in a Vietnam prisoner-of-war camp. What sustained him? He said: “I never lost faith in the end of the story. I never doubted not only that I would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life, which, in retrospect, I would not trade.” When asked, “Who didn’t make it out?” Stockdale replied: “Oh, that’s easy…they were the ones who said, ‘We’re going to be out by Christmas.’ And Christmas would come, and Christmas would go. Then they’d say, ‘We’re going to be out by Easter.’ And Easter would come, and Easter would go. And then Thanksgiving, and then it would be Christmas again. And they died of a broken heart.” The courage needed to stand between the two extremes of current trouble and ultimate triumph is found in these words of Scripture: “Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith” (Heb 12:2 NKJV). The One who gave you your start has guaranteed you a glorious finish.
Connecting begins with caring
“May the Lord make your love increase and overflow.” 1Th 3:12 NIV
One of America’s most successful telephone companies created a TV commercial using the slogan, “Can you hear me now?” It shows a man talking on the phone, but the person on the other end can’t hear him. So, he repeatedly asks, “Can you hear me now?” The ad was designed to convey the message that this particular phone company delivers a high-quality signal and doesn’t drop calls. When your phone drops a call, you know it. And what’s your immediate reaction? Annoyance? Frustration? Anger? In Everyone Communicates, Few Connect, Dr. John Maxwell writes: “When I interact with people…I know I’ve connected when I sense extra effort—people go the extra mile; unsolicited appreciation—they say positive things; unguarded openness—they demonstrate trust; increased communication—they express themselves more readily; enjoyable experiences—they feel good about what they’re doing; emotional bondedness—they display a connection on an emotional level; positive energy—their emotional ‘batteries’ are charged by being together…unconditional love—they are accepting without reservation. Anytime I interact with people and I see evidence of these signals, I know I’m connecting. I’ve learned what it takes to connect…and…to gauge when I’m succeeding. How are you doing when it comes to connecting? When you interact one-on-one with someone important in your life, do you receive these signals?…Even if connecting with others isn’t something you’re good at today, you can learn how to do it and become better tomorrow.” But first, you must genuinely care about the person you are trying to connect with. That’s why Paul writes, “May the Lord make your love increase and overflow.”
He gave His most precious possession
“Thank God for his gift that is too wonderful for words!” 2Co 9:15 CEV
One afternoon a little girl stood outside Pete Richardson’s antique shop studying the treasures in the window. Then she went in and asked to see a string of blue beads. When Pete set them on the counter, she said: “They’re perfect. Will you gift wrap them, please? They’re for my sister. She takes care of me. This will be our first Christmas since Mom died, and I’ve been looking for the perfect present.” “How much do you have?” asked Pete cautiously. Pouring a stack of coins on the counter, she said, “I emptied my bank.” Pete picked up the necklace, the price tag visible to him and not her. “What’s your name?” he asked, walking into the back room. “Jean Grace,” she replied. Pete returned with a beautifully wrapped package, and the little girl thanked him and left. On Christmas Eve when the last customer had left and he was locking up, a young woman rushed into the store and handed him a familiar package. “Do you remember who you sold this to?” she asked. “A girl called Jean bought them for her big sister,” he replied. “How much are they worth?” she inquired. “The price,” Pete replied, “is always confidential between the seller and his customer.” Her sister asked, “But how could she pay for them?” Carefully rewrapping the present, Pete handed it back to her and said, “She paid the biggest price anyone can ever pay. She gave everything she had.” When “God sent forth his Son” (Gal 4:4) to redeem us, He gave everything He had. “Thank God for his gift that is too wonderful for words!”
Broken arrows
“Children…are like arrows.” Ps 127:4 NLT
Our children are like arrows; they must be aimed in the right direction. When they’re aimed in the wrong direction, they can end up in violence, drugs, and destructive lifestyles. And as long as we jeer at or judge them, they will never feel comfortable turning to us for help as they go through life. Broken arrows come in all colors and forms: black, white, rich, poor. Pain isn’t prejudiced; it spares no age group or social strata. What’s the answer? Let the strong bear the infirmities of the weak (See Ro 15:1). “Jesus…had compassion on them and healed their sick” (Mt 14:14 NLT). Compassion is the mother of miracles! When the disciples thought they would die in the storm, they didn’t challenge Christ’s power, they challenged His compassion: “Carest thou not that we perish?” (Mk 4:38). Where there is no compassion, there will be no miracle. Only when you’re moved by someone’s pain rather than turned off by their symptoms can you bring healing to them. One author writes: “We can build all the churches we want. But if people cannot find a loving voice within our hallowed halls, they will pass through unaltered by our clichés and religious rhetoric. Church is not a club for the well-heeled, but a hospital for those needing to be healed and set free. You don’t have to like everything about the people you’re called to minister to, but you do have to love them because God does.” We have been called to gather up those the world has thrown away because they matter to God: “‘They shall be Mine,’ says the Lord of hosts, ‘on the day that I make them My jewels’” (Mal 3:17 NKJV).
Jesus wants to set you free
“You are loosed from your infirmity.” Lk 13:12 NKJV
The Bible says: “There was a woman who had a spirit of infirmity eighteen years, and was bent over and could in no way raise herself up. But when Jesus saw her, He called her to Him and said to her, ‘Woman, you are loosed from your infirmity’” (vv. 11-12 NKJV). Notice four things in this story: the person, the problem, the Great Physician, and the prescription. For every person, including you, there will be a problem. But more importantly, for every problem, including yours, the Great Physician has a prescription. Jesus’ opening statement to the problem in this woman’s life is not a recommendation for counseling—it’s a challenging command: “You are loosed!” Christian counselors are a gift from God, but often more is involved in maintaining deliverance than just discussing past trauma. Jesus didn’t counsel what should have been commanded. After you have analyzed the condition and understood its origin, it will take the authority of God’s Word to put the past under your feet! This woman was suffering as the result of something that had attacked her eighteen years earlier, yet her trauma was as fresh that day as it was the day it occurred. But while her problem was rooted in the past, her prescription could only be found in a present word from God. Jesus, who is the Living Word, is “the same yesterday, today and forever” (Heb 13:8 NKJV). That is to say, the word you are hearing today is able to heal your yesterday! Jesus said, “Woman, you are loosed from your infirmity.” Why didn’t Jesus call her by name? Because His promise applies to all of us.
You can change your self-perception
“By the grace of God I am what I am.” 1Co 15:10 NIV
The new birth begins a transforming process in how you think about yourself. But it must be continued each day by renewing your mind. “Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect” (Ro 12:2 NLT). Observe, when your thinking is changed by God’s Word, two things happen: (a) you know His will for you, and (b) you know He is pleased with you. When those two things happen, your self-perception is changed and you’re no longer at the mercy of other people’s opinions or evaluation of you. Our opinion of ourselves is deeply affected by the opinions of the authority figures in our formative years. If our parents tended to neglect or ignore us, we concluded that we weren’t worth their time, attention, or love, and it tore at our self-worth. But as we mature in God’s Word, we learn to walk in the light of our new self-image and we gain new self-worth. Regardless of what you have been through in life or the mistakes you have made, God will help you to realize who you are and what He has graced you to do. Before Paul met Christ, he killed Christians; that’s as bad as it gets. But after he met Christ, he wrote, “By the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect.” When you understand God’s grace—His unearned, undeserved, unfailing favor toward you—it will profoundly change how you feel about yourself.
Respond the right way
“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials.” Ro 5:3 NLT
In World War II, Viktor Frankl was sentenced to a Nazi concentration camp. The guards deprived him of everything. They took his wife, his family, his clothes. They even stole his wedding ring. But he had one thing no one could take from him. In a classic book, he wrote, “The last of human freedoms is the ability to choose one’s attitude in a given set of circumstances.” The guards could not take from Frankl his freedom to choose his attitude. We do not know what is going to occur tomorrow, or even today. We can’t control all our circumstances, but we can control how we respond to them. We can control whether an experience makes us stronger or weaker, increases our faith or our fear, makes us a better person or a bitter person. The saying goes: “The same sunshine that melts the butter hardens the clay.” God wants our struggles to strengthen us. Paul writes: “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation [deliverance]. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love” (vv. 3-5 NLT). And here is another thought—a very important one. The tests and trials we go through in this life are what qualify us to rule and reign with Christ in the next life. Knowing that will help you to respond the right way!
You are being pruned (2)
“My suffering was good for me.” Ps 119:71 NLT
God uses problems, pressures, and people to prune you for greater fruitfulness. Are you aware of Him using any of these three things in your life today? God can use all situations in your life to help you grow if you will just have the right attitude. He will use a major frustration, a financial setback, a sudden sickness, a broken marriage, a rebellious child, or even the death of a loved one to get your attention. You say, “But it hurts so much!” Yes, pruning is painful. Sometimes a gardener will prune a tree until it looks like a totem pole or a giant toothpick. It’s not a pretty sight. But the pruning process is positive. God is not mad at you. “There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus” (Ro 8:1 NKJV). God does not punish His genuine children. Jesus took your punishment on the cross. God’s pruning is for your best, for more fruitfulness in your life. Can God’s pruning fail to produce? Sure, if you don’t cooperate. How does God produce “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control” in your life? (Gal 5:22-23 NLT). He produces these qualities by allowing you to face situations and people with exactly the opposite qualities. He teaches you to love by putting you around difficult people. He teaches you patience by letting things frustrate you. You say, “How can I cooperate with God?” The Bible tells you: “Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus” (1Th 5:16-18 NLT).
Always treat people with respect
“Always…give an answer…with gentleness and respect.” 1Pe 3:15 NIV
The Bible says, “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.” Two ways to get an egg out of an eggshell are to (1) crack it open, or (2) put it in a warm, loving environment and allow it to incubate and hatch. The second way preserves the chick, while the first kills it. Similarly, two ways to get the good news of the gospel across to people are to (1) pound them over the head with it, or (2) love them into God’s family. Have you noticed that a lot of evangelism is just a thinly-veiled insult? “You need what I have because you’re so awful.” People do need the good news, but your disposition can keep them from receiving it. Respect unbelievers; don’t humiliate them. Respecting means accepting them. That doesn’t mean you have to approve of their lifestyle. Acceptance and approval are different. But everybody has the right to be treated in a respectful way. The best way to share the gospel with unbelievers is to surround them with love and acceptance as you share it with them. Be respectful, sensitive, and caring. Theologian D. T. Niles said, “Evangelism is just one beggar telling another where to find bread.” Share God’s Word! You do the sharing, and God will do the saving. Once you sow the seed of God’s Word into someone’s heart, you can love them and leave them and trust God to do His part.
Faithfulness (4)
“Great is thy faithfulness.” La 3:23
Faithfulness can turn the most menial job into a vitally important one. For example, think about how dependent we are on something as small as a postage stamp. It’s always ready for service. It goes wherever it’s sent. It does whatever it’s asked to do. It sticks to the task until it’s done. It doesn’t give up when it’s licked. It stays up to date. And it finds no job too small. We weren’t all born with equal talents; some of us are more gifted in certain areas than others. But every one of us was born with an equal responsibility to utilize his or her abilities at full capacity. That’s the most any of us can do—and it’s what God, who gave us our talents, expects us to do. Two hundred years ago when the U.S. Marine Corps was first formed, officials gave considerable time to contemplating a fitting motto. They finally chose the Latin phrase semper fidelis, a phrase now engraved on the mind of every Marine. What does it mean? “Always faithful”! Both are important words, but the most important is the first one: always. Why? Because a Marine can’t afford to be faithful only when it’s comfortable or convenient, or when he feels like it, or when it will make him happy. Semper fidelis means you must always be faithful—regardless of the cost. God wants to be able to say the same thing about you as is said about Him: “Great is thy faithfulness.” So whether you’re a boss, an employee, a father or mother, a husband or wife, a friend, teammate, or a Marine, the word for you today is—always be faithful.
Faithfulness (2)
“It is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful.” 1Co 4:2 NIV
Faithfulness requires making 100 percent of your effort 100 percent of the time. Insight magazine once published an article by Gary Sheer called “Strive for Perfection…or Else!” It contained some alarming facts! The article said if 99.9 percent was good enough, 103,260 income tax returns would be processed incorrectly that year…22,000 checks would be deducted from the wrong bank accounts within that next sixty minutes…12 babies would be given to the wrong parents each day…2 plane landings daily at O’Hare International Airport would be unsafe…18,322 pieces of mail would be mishandled within that next hour…291 pacemaker operations would be performed incorrectly that year…880,000 credit cards in circulation would turn out to have incorrect cardholder information on their magnetic strips…20,000 incorrect drug prescriptions would be written within that next twelve months…and 107 incorrect medical procedures would be performed by the end of that day. Those are pretty sobering statistics—especially if you are one of the people whose life is affected! Here is the bottom line: Only your best should be good enough in any situation. Anything less than that will never be good enough because it reflects your failure to be totally faithful and completely dependable. That’s why the Bible says, “It is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful.” With God, faithfulness isn’t merely a concept or a suggestion; it’s a requirement of all who serve Him—and that includes you!
How is your giving?
“The amount depends on how much the Lord has helped you earn.” 1Co 16:2 TLB
Jesus said, “If you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches?” (Lk 16:11 NIV). In other words, if you are not faithful to Him with your finances, He will not trust you with greater blessings. What does it mean to be faithful in your finances? Paul writes: “On every Lord’s Day each of you should put aside something from what you have earned during the week, and use it for this offering. The amount depends on how much the Lord has helped you earn.” That means three things: (1) Regular giving. Note the words “every Lord’s Day.” This is systematic giving, not sporadic giving. It is not, “I feel good today, so I’m going to give to God.” If you try that with your mortgage holder, you will be without a house! You’re not supposed to give by impulse, but by a commitment to obey God’s Word. (2) Planned giving. “You should put aside something from what you have earned.” If you’re married, sit down and discuss it with your mate and decide the amount you feel God wants you to give each week. If you don’t plan it, you will not give consistently. (3) Proportional giving. “The amount depends on how much the Lord has helped you earn.” Giving 10 percent should be the minimum—the beginning point. If God has blessed you financially, you should give more than 10 percent. Bottom line: You are to return to God a percentage of what He enables you to earn. When you do, He promises to increase you abundantly (See Mal 3:10; 2Co 9:6-10).
You represent your Father
“His heart went out to him.” Lk 15:20 PHPS
When the father saw his prodigal son, “his heart went out to him.” Jack Graham writes: “This isn’t a father who can’t wait to punish his sinful son…who has written him off as wasted and worthless. This is a loving, caring father who can’t wait to embrace and welcome him. He runs down the road to meet him…What you see…is a picture of the Father’s love for you…eager…excessive… approachable…abundant.” Max Lucado adds: “The tale involves a wealthy father and a willful son [who]…takes his inheritance [to] Las Vegas and…wastes [it] on slot machines and call girls…Broke [and] too proud to go home, he gets a job sweeping…stables at the racetrack. When he finds himself…[eating]…their oats, he realizes enough is enough…Off he goes, rehearsing his repentance speech…But…‘When he was…a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion’ [v. 20 NKJV]…We expect crossed arms…a furrowed brow…a guarded handshake…a stern lecture…Instead [the father said], ‘Bring out the best robe…a ring…sandals…and…the fatted calf’ [vv. 22-23 NKJV].” The ring symbolized delegated authority. The one who wore it carried on business in the name of the one who gave it. Would you have given this prodigal the power of attorney over your matters? Entrusted him with your credit card? When you came to God, you were given authority to conduct business in His name. When you speak truth, you’re His ambassador (See 2Co 5:20). As you steward finances He gives, you’re His business manager. When you proclaim forgiveness, you’re His priest. He has given you the privilege to do for others what He does for you. Don’t withhold encouragement or affirmation! Speak words that strengthen others. Why? Because you represent your Father!
Telling it like it is
“Speak the truth in love, growing…more like Christ.” Eph 4:15 NLT
Jon Walker says: “It’s hard to…confront…it’s easier to stay superficial…to demonize one another when we don’t agree…and to cut and run at the first sign of trouble…But the Bible says, ‘An honest answer is like a kiss of friendship’ (Pr 24:26 NLT); it deepens relationships…and keeps our fellowship open and authentic, freeing us to speak the truth in love’…No more lies or pretense. Tell your brother the truth. Remember, ‘In Christ’s body we’re all connected…When you lie to others, you end up lying to yourself.’” (Eph 4:25 MSG). Author Annette Smith observes: “Touchy topics are difficult for even close friends. Yet relationships involve flawed people who make mistakes and get into messes. Friends need to be able to count on each other, not just for fun and affirmation, but for instruction and correction. Committing ourselves to a friendship means because we care on a deep intimate level, we have the courage to speak up when a friend needs to hear tough words…True friendship comes with joy and responsibility…To avoid talking truthfully about a situation that’s hurtful, dangerous, or out of God’s will, is to dishonor the friendship and the friend. When we’ve been trusted with the blessing of friends, we must love them enough to be willing to experience hurt, rejection, even anger. In the end, truth heals. Before addressing a difficult situation, if there’s any self-righteousness or the tiniest desire to get even, we should keep silent. Honesty…when it comes to touchy subjects must be accompanied by pure, loving motives.” The Bible says, “Speak the truth in love…growing…more like Christ.” If your words aren’t bathed in love, they’ll hurt rather than heal.
Start your day with God
“My voice You shall hear in the morning, O Lord.” Ps 5:3 NKJV
Develop the habit of starting each day with God. When you do, you will have a source of strength to draw on all day long. Psychologists say it takes up to three weeks to become familiar with a new habit, and another three before it takes root. That means you need to get beyond the six-week barrier. So, do these: (1) Make a strong resolution. If you begin half-heartedly, you will never succeed. The Bible says, “Encourage one another daily” (Heb 3:13 NIV). If it helps, become accountable to someone. Ask them to encourage you and remind you of the promise you made to God. (2) Never allow an exception. A habit is like a ball of twine: Every time you drop it, some of the strands unwind. So don’t allow “just this once” thinking to creep in. Every act of yielding weakens your will and causes you to lose ground. (3) Use every opportunity to practice your new habit. Whenever you get the slightest urge to read your Bible and pray, do it. Don’t wait; use that moment to reinforce it. It doesn’t hurt to overdo a new habit when you’re first starting. (4) Rely on the power of God. You’re in a spiritual battle, and you can only succeed with God’s help. Depend on Him to aid you in developing the habit for His glory. Write down the following words, sign your name at the bottom, and keep them before you constantly: “Lord, I commit myself to beginning each day with You no matter what the cost. And I’m depending on You to help me be consistent.” That’s a prayer He is sure to answer.
Advice on dating
“Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?” Am 3:3 NLT
There is no definitive test that can predict how a date will ultimately work out, but here are five questions you should always ask yourself: (1) What’s my first impression of this person? For example, who do they hang out with? What kind of events do they enjoy? Do they lie? Steal? Swear? Do drugs? This kind of information can save you untold heartache down the road. And, not to judge a book by its cover, until you really get to know somebody, what else can you go by? (2) How well do I know them? Isn’t it wiser to date someone you have known for a while instead of a stranger? (3) Are they gracious toward others? Nothing is worse than a man who brags about his previous conquests, or a woman who constantly criticizes her ex. Would you trust that kind of person with your reputation and your heart? (4) Do we share the same values? The Bible says, “Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?” Opposites may attract, but that’s not a good rule when it comes to values. You need to know that your date is a committed Christian who lives by his or her convictions. What kind of standards do they have about things like money, morals, and movies? (5) Can I trust them to keep their word? In previous relationships did they flirt, or cheat, or remain loyal? Count on it, a promise breaker will inevitably become a heartbreaker. If you’re dating, here is some sound advice: “Seek [God’s] will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take” (Pr 3:6 NLT).
Handling change at work
“To everything there is a season.” Ecc 3:1 NKJV
When change happens in the workplace, we often feel threatened. We get used to the personalities of our co-workers and bosses, and we want them to remain in place, stay the same, and require nothing more from us than what we have given in the past. Out of our desire for stability, security, and predictability, we fail to prepare for instability, uncertainty, and surprises. How ironic! If we were willing to adjust our expectations and be more realistic, we wouldn’t be so traumatized when change comes. Things can change overnight. It may be the loss of a parent, or a job, or your health. Change is the only constant in life. And it has the potential to move you on to better things or flatten you like a steamroller. The choice is yours. “To everything there is a season.” The truth is, God is your only secure anchor in life, so if you’re wise, you will build a strong relationship with Him. Ultimately, He will never allow you to depend on anything but Him. Here is Elijah’s story: “The ravens brought him bread and meat in the morning,…and he drank from the brook. And it happened after a while that the brook dried up, because there had been no rain in the land” (1Ki 17:6-7 NKJV). Elijah may have panicked, but God didn’t. “The word of the Lord came to him, saying, ‘Arise, go to Zarephath…and dwell there. See, I have commanded a widow there to provide for you’” (vv. 8-9 NKJV). Notice what God used to provide for Elijah: ravens, a brook, and a penniless widow. So enjoy your job, excel in it, but depend only on God!