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Facing Loss Head on...
Two years and just over three months ago, I lost the most amazing person I have ever had in my life.
I was seventeen.
As each day, week, month and year pass by, his absence is felt even harder.
You only ever get two grandparents. Never did I imagine that I would spend the rest of my life without one.
"I have cancer." Those words ring in my ears every single day. I was fifteen when I first heard those three words. I didn't understand what it meant only acknowledging that he was sick.
For two years my granddad was bounced around four different hospitals. Hooked on chemo therapy, radiation and many different medications, I witnessed the life slowly drive out of someone.
I wanted him so badly to cheer me on at my soccer games, drive me to school, go on Saturday morning Tim Horton runs and go to the beach. He was healthy, active and happy. There was no sign pointing towards cancer. My granddad never got sick.
He was the kind of person who would make you feel like his own son, daughter, brother or sister. He always reached out to those in need. He cared like no other. He loved like no other. He lived like no other.
Each day it hurts a little more. The effect of this loss has changed so much about myself. My life hasn't been the same. I still walk through the house door and expect him to be sitting on the couch, watching Bundesliga soccer games. I still walk into Tim Horton's and pretend he's there ordering coffee while I snack on a donut.
There's this quote, "We didn't realize we were making memories. We just knew we were having fun."
When I think of this quote I realize that when you have a person who is so special and close to you, you don't pay attention to the things you do and say. Little do we know all the moments good and bad, make beautiful memories.
On January fourth 2015 everything that I've known and loved was taken away from me. I lost so much that day. It's a day that I replay in my head a billion times. I never got to hold his hand, and tell him how much I loved him at his very last breath. The thing about this is i could've been there. But I chose to not be. I was selfish. I was tired of being around someone who could barely recognize me. Someone who was in so much pain. I was too oblivious to realize that he needed me. I chose to not get in the car with my mom that morning. I wanted to stay home. I would've at least known that I told him and he heard me. I cannot go back to that day and rewind the time. I neglected the fact that he was deteriorating.
I was always told that with time it will get better. I've come to realize that it is completely false. Breaking a bone or getting a bad grade will eventually heal and improve. But when you face a loss of this magnitude there will never be a timeline for "recovery." Because you truly never recover. You can only cope and heal.
Grief is real, prickling, heart-wrenching, tiring and painful. It hits you like a truck. The hardest part is going on with life. Holidays and birthdays are one the hardest challenges. You are cruelly reminded of who should be there but isn't. It's a permanent part of you that is indefinitely damaged.
There was a time when I felt numb and hopeless. It was scary because I felt nothing but felt everything. The shame and fear of wanting so badly to tell someone, but being too weak to say anything at all. I was saved that day. I am here to tell my story. I hope that anyone out there in this beautiful world who has ever lost someone knows that there are ways to talk about it.
I can't tell you how to cope, how to feel or how to move forward. There is no manual for grief. It's a silent barrier that makes you different. You have to try.
I have to live on for my granddaddy. I need to honor his memory and celebrate his legacy by moving forward. With love, trust, strength, fearlessness and family, we will find peace.
So with that, live, dream big and hug those around you a little tighter. :)
@american
What Goes Around Comes Around...
A Lion lay asleep in the forest, his great head resting on his paws. A timid little Mouse came upon him unexpectedly, and in her fright and haste to get away, ran across the Lion's nose. Roused from his nap, the Lion laid his huge paw angrily on the tiny creature to kill her.
"Spare me!" begged the poor Mouse. "Please let me go and some day I will surely repay you."
The Lion was much amused to think that a Mouse could ever help him. But he was generous and finally let the Mouse go.
Some days later, while stalking his prey in the forest, the Lion was caught in the toils of a hunter's net. Unable to free himself, he filled the forest with his angry roaring. The Mouse knew the voice and quickly found the Lion struggling in the net. Running to one of the great ropes that bound him, she gnawed it until it parted, and soon the Lion was free.
"You laughed when I said I would repay you," said the Mouse. "Now you see that even a Mouse can help a Lion."
A kindness is never wasted.
@american
MOTHER'S DAY CELEBRATION
Today is Mother's Day in America. My family and I celebrate Mother's Day in a famous restaurant treated by our father every year. But this year, we decide to celebrate Mother's Day at home. We all planned the event weeks before. My mum was kept in the dark about the celebration.
On that day, my father brought my mum to have breakfast and then they went for a movie. My father was supposed to bring mum home in the evening. My cousin and I stayed at home to cook some scrumptious dishes while Eddy, my other cousin, went to the bakery shop to fetch the cake we ordered a week ago. He also stopped at the near by florist's to buy a bouquet of white roses.
Later, three of us decorated the hall with colourful balloons and we also hung a big banner on the wall. The banner was written " Happy Mother's Day! We love you very much mum!".
Everything was set up properly on the table and we had also put on our nice clothes to wait for our parents to come home.
It was about 6:00p.m in the evening. My dad brought mum back on time. As both of them entered the house, Eddy took out the cake and my cousin presented our mum the bouquet of white roses. At the same time, we all said " Happy Mother's Day " to her. Then we took turns to hug and kiss her. My mother was touched and she was in tears of joy.
Mother's Day is a crucial and special event for all the mothers in the world. It is the day for all the children to thank and appreciate their mother. Mothers sacrifice their life, time and love us unconditionally. What are you doing for Mother's Day today?
@american
You Have Made It This Far...
I’ve learned from life that sometimes, the darkest times can bring us to the brightest places. That our most painful struggles can grant us the most necessary growth; and that the most heartbreaking losses of friendship and love can make room for the most wonderful people.
I’ve learned that what seems like a curse at the moment can actually be a blessing, and that what seems like the end of the road is actually just the discovery that we are meant to travel down a different path. I’ve learned that no matter how difficult things seem, there is always hope.
And I’ve learned that no matter how powerless we feel or how horrible things seem, we can’t give up. We have to keep going. Even when it’s scary, even when all of our strength seems gone, we have to keep picking ourselves back up and moving forward, because whatever we’re battling in the moment, it will pass, and we will make it through. We’ve made it this far. We can make it through whatever comes through.
We have counted times without number how you have tried but failed, to add to injury, people who we have trusted say to us "told you; you cant make it"
That's a big lie! for the only person who can stop you from achieving beyond where you are is YOU.
"You alone can stop you"
Most of the times, we look down on ourselves. How then can people look up to us? you have to discover who you really are to think beyond the normal and ascertain to get there.
You are beyond where you are, for every stage in life is a starting point to another level if only you can look deep within you.
As a man thinks so is He; WHAT ARE YOU ALWAYS THINKING OF?
"Let no man limit you; you have equal space at the top!" Claim your space.
@american
The Comfort Of Love
I had a couch gifted to me from my grandma. The old couch had seen better days. The fabric of its cushions was ripped and torn in places. I had covered the spots in duct tape but foam was still leaking out of them. The springs inside of it were broken. The sheet we covered it with was torn, sewn, and torn again. The right front leg had worked loose and fell off whenever we sat down on it. All in all our couch had become beaten, battered, and very uncomfortable, but still I couldn't bring myself to get rid of it, because it was a gift from my Nana for my room when I was little.
For several months then I saved what money I could in order to buy a new one. Finally, I had enough and got a new, slightly smaller sofa that I hoped would last for years to come. We carried it up the steps and got it in place. While the delivery men hauled off the old one I looked over our new addition. It was strong and straight and soft and sturdy. With the day’s work done I looked forward to having a seat on it. I made myself a tall glass of iced tea and walked into the living room. I stopped short and stared. There on my new couch were my dogs curled up contentedly for a nap.
I smiled and didn’t shoo them off of it. Instead I sat down in my computer chair and watched them peacefully sleep for awhile. I didn’t mind sharing my comfortable new couch with them. After all, they had for years blessed me with the comfort of their love.
Love truly is the most comforting thing in this entire world. Nothing comforts us like knowing that someone loves us. Nothing comforts us like knowing that we are here to love people as well. Nothing comforts us like sharing our love with people, animals, and the world around us. Carry your love with you always then. Let it be your cozy chair and comfy couch. Let it give rest to your heart and revitalize your soul. Let it comfort you on Earth and carry you to Heaven.
@american
Don't Back Down!
Are you aware of the realities and factors of life? Life is hard! Storms will come, people will disappoint you and people will hate you for nothing, in fact your knowledge will be tested, your strength will be tested at all times. Most times even those you think are your friends will be against you. So have a positive mind and a positive plan. Never stand down!!! Don’t quit.
“You are a soldier!!! Don’t stand down until you accomplish your mission”
For every phase to your destiny, you will face challenges to make you a champion . Keep pushing until you CRACK. What you are passing through is to stop you from achieving your goal but you can turn it for your own good, as a motivation to build you stronger only if you hold on till the end. Don’t be a victim of circumstances, let your passion, vision and mission take the lead!!! Apply this method to keep you focused, SAY IT DAILY.
DAILY MEDITATION AND APPLICATION
TODAY IS A GIFT!
I LOVE YOU LORD BEYOND ALL THINGS!
I CAN & WILL SURMOUNT!
I WILL NEVER FORGO MY AIM IN LIFE!
I CAN SEE THE PICTURE OF FUTURITY!
TODAY IS THE DAY TO BE PRIMO!
I’M ON THE FINISH LINE!
I THANK GOD FOR GOD!
“Your achievement and greatness in life is not for you but for the world”
@american
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A Strong Heart
I may be a bit old school but I think that people who store all of their pictures on their smart phones are missing out on something. There is nothing like seeing a loved one’s smiling face looking down on you from a picture frame on your wall. It is both comforting and reassuring, almost like they are watching over you while you work at your desk.
As I work at my own desk I can see my Nan’s picture smiling at me. She left us too soon. She was only 65 years old when cancer took her. If one’s years here were based on merit then she should have lived to be over 100. My grandpa’s kind smile is next to hers. It has only been a few years since he passed. Sometimes I still pick up the telephone wanting to call him and tell him something that has just happened to me only to remember that he is gone. My other Nana’s picture is there too, holding the 90 years young sign at her birthday party 16 years ago. How I wish I could walk into her kitchen again, have a talk, and share a big slice of homemade Italian bread with her.
Sometimes looking at these pictures gives me a touch of melancholy and sadness. I still miss them all and I don’t feel ready to be the oldest generation yet. Most of the time, though, I only feel the warmth and joy that comes from a million loving memories that these pictures bring back. It makes me feel blessed knowing that I had them all in my life for the years that I did. It makes me want to follow their loving example in my own life as well.
A lot of people say that you have to have a hard heart to get through life. Others say a soft heart is better. I myself think that a strong heart is best. We need a heart that loves through the pain. We need a heart that keeps loving even when we lose the people we love the most. We need a heart that knows that “Anyone who lives in love lives in God, and God lives in him.” May your heart be strong then. May your love shine from your pictures and from your life.
@american
The Flow Of Time
It was a Friday morning, 7:30a.m. I felt too lazy to drive my car, so my cousin booked an uber(a taxi like private car). In five minutes, the uber reached at the entrance gate, waiting for my arrival. I just saw the cab number and entered inside the car. I was so busy that I didn't pay any attention towards the driver. I was searching for an important paper from my leather bag, so instantly said, 'Please, go quick! I'm in a hurry!'
The voice came, 'Yes, Ma'am!'
I was literally surprised when I heard a female voice! I stopped my work for a second and looked at the driver. The driver was a young lady. Maybe, around thirty or thirty-two! For the first time, I saw a lady, driving an uber!
The car was running on the national high-way towards the destination. It was quite a distance from my home. She was driving perfectly well. Hundred times, I had travelled in uber, but never I saw any lady, driving an uber! I didn't know, why I became so enthusiastic to know why she had chosen this profession. I started the conversation,'If you don't mind, can I ask you some questions?'
'Yes, ma'am! No problem.'
'I guess, you are well qualified!'
'Yes, ma'am! I have completed my education. I have done my MBA course.
'Oh, wow!!! Why did you then choose this profession, instead of going for an academic career?'
I could see her face in the rear view mirror. She smiled and the way she expressed her views, I was really amazed!
Very politely, she said, 'Driving was my passion from my childhood, ma'am! Of course I do respect each and every job. In this case, at least I fulfilled my desire! I love driving! I don't mind for big or small job. I wanted a job where I can get satisfaction. I got offers from m.n.c but this one I preferred because I like it! I know, I can't get enough money out of it, yet as I told you 'I love driving'!That's it!'
'But, are you not scared of any danger? You know, there are some people who create problems for ladies."
With a smile, she answered,'We can not give up our living just because of a few trouble makers! By the way, which zone is danger free, ma'am? Once we are out of our homes, we must prepared to face problems.'
'Of course, you are absolutely right!!! Nowhere is safe, but yet...' before I completed my speech, she chuckled and said,'Ma'am! As long as I am getting humble and gentle passengers, I have no problem but every time I may not be that lucky! If ever that awkward situation comes, I will see! Why should I give off my hope just for an uncertainty?'
Frankly speaking, I was totally flattered with her bold answers and especially her brave heart and courage!
Within our conversation, we already reached at the destination. I was so delighted that I couldn't resist myself, said,'May God bless you!! I am proud of your noble thoughts! Keep going!'
She smiled at me with gratitude and slowly pushed the accelerator to move forward. I had enough work to do but unconsciously my mind was fully occupied with her answers and I thought,'Truly, how fast 'Time' is changing! There was a time when girls were choosing only prestigious jobs, once they were highly qualified but how easily this girl defined the boundary of 'job' within two words 'self satisfaction'! Let the rest of the world deeply understand the importance and value of 'the flow of time'!
@american
Donya Parsa
Happiness: My Pursuit Of It
"When I was young, I admired old people.
Now that I’m old, I admire wise people.
When I was a youth, I admired strong people.
Now that I’m old, I admire meek people.
When I was an adult, I admired wealthy people.
Now that I’m old, I admire happy people." ~ Matshona Dhliwayo
Since the beginning of time, humans across the globe have been pursuing singular goals: first it was sex, then it was money, now it is happiness. From the executive on Wall Street, to the sheepherder on the rural plains of Kenya, to the stay-at-home mother in China, all of us have been driven by the ceaseless desire to be happy.
What we eat, wear, and do are all expressions of our pursuit of happiness. So are the books we buy, the shows we watch, and the relationships we pursue. But, if humanity has searched for it since the beginning, how come happiness has been elusive? Should we not have found it? After all, we have gone to the moon, cured fatal diseases, and made countless discoveries in every field you can think of. Knowledge undeniably has increased, but the reality is that happiness has not.
This inspired my long, uncertain journey to find out the secrets to happiness.
I remembered the story of King Solomon, who according to the Bible was the wisest and richest man in history. He had all of the above, but he despaired in the end: "Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless." His pursuit of happiness ended miserably, as he was focused on his mind and body but at times forgot to nurture his soul. I came to the conclusion that, as humans being composed of mind, body, and soul, we must nurture all three to achieve our highest happiness.
Mind – You cannot live a happy life with sad thoughts. Timeless wisdom states that we become what we think. It therefore goes without saying that happy thoughts contribute to creating a happy life.
Body – Research has shown that the brain produces serotonin, a chemical contributing to our happiness and wellbeing. When we exercise, our bodies also produce endorphins, chemicals that reduce stress and diminish our perception of pain. Clearly, when we take good care of our bodies, our bodies take good care of us.
Soul – Researchers have been dumbfounded after finding that there is a relationship between healing and having a higher power. " The soul is the highest part of us, and if it’s nurtured, everything else – happiness, fulfillment and lasting joy – falls into place.
To help you on your happiness journey, below are ten insights I conjured up. Enjoy!
1. What you seek for others you find for yourself.
2. A heart full of joy is better than a hand full of coins.
3. Pebbles that bring you joy are better than diamonds that bring you sorrow.
4. When bad things happen to you, become wiser, not bitter.
5. The beauty that is in you is greater than the ugliness that is around you.
6. If you go to bed angry, you have robbed yourself of a chance to wake up happy.
7. Letting go of sorrow gives you enough strength to carry happiness. Letting go of anger gives you enough strength to carry kindness. Letting go of fear gives you enough strength to carry hopefulness. Letting go of resentment gives you enough strength to carry gratefulness. Letting go of disappointment gives you enough strength to carry joyfulness. Letting go of avarice gives you enough strength to carry contentedness.
8. Love subtracts sorrow, divides trouble, adds blessings, and multiplies joy.
9. Happiness cannot be bought by money, cannot be acquired by degrees, cannot be realized by power, and cannot be earned by honor; but it can be won by kindness, gained by charity, attained by goodness, and achieved by love.
10. Pleasure will make you happy for days. Wealth will make you happy for weeks. Honor will make you happy for years. Love will make you happy for a lifetime.
@american
Life Means Endings And Beginnings
When we enter into the world, it is the beginning of the journey of our new life and the end of the journey in mother's womb. Life means ending and beginning of things, circumstances, situations, relations, years any many more. We have two choices, accept life as it comes or create it by our own choice.
You can't rewrite your past life again but you can write your destiny by learning lessons from the past mistakes. Never regret for anything in your life because everything happens for a reason.
As life is passing, we meet new people and our new relationships are formed, in the same way our old relations are lost or we have to leave them i.e after marriage girls have to accept new family, new family members, beginning of her new life. So never forget old relations for new relations. Give importance to everybody in your life.
Every life starts with an end. The journey between the beginning of the life till its end. Throughout the journey how we play because we are temporary here. Now its up to us how we travel like a good passenger or a bad.
If there is no new beginning in life and there is no end to something then it becomes boring. As if leaves don't fall from the tree then it would look so ugly because leaves get dry with time, in the same way the beauty of life is in change, if a child stop growing then how long he and his parents would enjoy his childhood. Ending and beginning are the important part of life. So be always ready for new beginnings, new challenges and to make new moments memorable.
In this world, there is only God who has no beginning and no end. He is eternal. Apart from God everything has its ending. Whatever we have in our life new or old is important for us unless it doesn't come to an end. So respect, love everything and be thankful to God for everything.
Ending and beginning are the major part of life. Occasionally we are standing at such a turn of life when we have to make some decisions for ending and beginning of a new life. That decisions might be painful but we have to make it for the sake of our own or for our loved one's betterment.
Beginning of everything like love, career, any type of relationship, business etc is like emptiness but as we go through, we need to put dedication, concentration, sacrifices and lot of patience and slowly everything start becoming beautiful and end will be a painful because nobody wants to lose beautiful things but this is the fact whatever has been started has to end one day. Patience is the most important key of success.
"Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love". - Mother Teresa.
"An Oak tree is a daily reminder that great things often have small beginnings". - Matshona Dhliwayo
If, we go with flow of life than life is full of endings and beginnings like failure comes with new try with new method, grief comes with wisdom and wisdom is an end of imprudence, good deeds are an end of bad deeds, happiness is an end of sadness etc.
"With endings come new beginnings". - Alexandra Potter
May God bless you all with spiritual healthy wealthy long life and with good destiny.
@american